- Here’s some dating advice that’s actually helpful.
- 1. date outside your “type"
- 2. know the reputation of the apps you’re using
- 6. sex is important, but not the end-all-be-all
- 7. go in with low expectations, but still give it your all
- 10. take a break from dating when exhausted
- Looking for love in a modern gay world…
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The most recent series saw stars like Joey Essex, Jorgie Porter and Ferne McCann on the search for love.
Former TOWIE star Ferne was unlucky in her quest – and it continued after the show after her now ex-boyfriend was linked to a nightclub acid attack.
But with the third series already confirmed, the first reports of celebrities being lined up are coming out.
Daily Star Online previously reported that show bosses were keen to line TOWIE’s Bobby Norris up with receptionist Tom Read Wilson.
And while that matchmaking plan hasn’t been confirmed, it seems Bobby’s appearance on the show has.
"Bobby is a perfect fit for the show," a source told the Sun.
"He’s truly looking for love and the dating experts are hoping they can put a smile on his face by finding him the right man."
Bobby’s had a few relationships in the public eye, including one with former co-star Harry Derbidge.
Another reality star rumoured for series three is Geordie Shore babe Marnie Simpson.
Matchmaker Nadia Essex already has a plan in place for finding the bisexual beauty love following her Lewis Bloor breakup.
She told us: "I just want to put her on dates with the nicest, most gentlemanly, amazing guys with good banter, good abs and show Lewis that he lost the best thing that ever happened to him."
Earlier this year, Stephen Bear was kicked off the show for secretly being in a relationship with series one star Charlotte Crosby.
The two are still together now and even front MTV show Just Tattoo Of Us together.
Here’s some dating advice that’s actually helpful.
I believe it was Aristotle who said, “Dating is the absolute f*cking worst.”
For gay and bi men, it often feels like dating is futile. The men you like never seem to like you back. Or they’re only looking for something casual. Or they play games. Or they never put you and your feelings into consideration when making decisions. Or they’re just…terrible…ya know? So dating is often a pain in the ass for queer men. That said, here are some helpful tidbits of dating advice for guys who want to make the whole dating process just a tad bit less painful.
1. date outside your “type"
Gay men, more so than straight men, love to have types or “preferences.” Now there’s nothing wrong with typically being more attracted to guys who look or present a certain way. That’s fine. I will say though, don’t rule out a whole group of people because they don’t fit what you’re customarily attracted to. Be open to all different types of guys. This widens your options greatly.
2. know the reputation of the apps you’re using
Guys have met through Grindr. They have dated, and even gotten married. This does actually happen. But Grindr still is primarily used for more casual encounters. So to only use Grindr while looking for a boyfriend isn’t necessarily the wisest move. Try Tinder, OkCupid, or other apps that have guys looking for more serious relationships.
6. sex is important, but not the end-all-be-all
Sex is great. Sex is fabulous. Sex is…well, it’s sex. Having a healthy sex life is important. You want to enjoy sex with your man. You want to want to have sex. In the beginning of a relationship, I think it’s much more important for the sex to be good. It keeps the relationship going. But if you want your relationship to last more than a year, there needs to be other reasons why you’re dating him that have nothing to do with sex. Sex becomes less important as the relationship goes on.
7. go in with low expectations, but still give it your all
This is the key to dating successfully. The golden rule, if you will. Go in thinking that the guy is going to be a dud, and that nothing is going to happen. Still though, give him your attention and the opportunity to impress you. If it doesn’t work out, that’s fine because you had low expectations, but if it does, you will be pleasantly surprised.
10. take a break from dating when exhausted
Dating can be exhausting. Often, when you’re lining up dates, it feels like a second full-time job. Take a break from trying to meet guys when you start to experience dating fatigue. It’s not something you want to push past. When you’re ready and feel like you’ve built your stamina back up, then go ahead and start lining up dates again.
Looking for love in a modern gay world…
In a world almost obsessed with love, why do so many gay men struggle to find the relationship they crave so much?
It’s no secret relationships can be harder to find in the LGBT+ community, but I’m tired of seeing articles saying ‘gay men are incapable of love’ and ‘monogamy is over’.
The way we date, meet people and socially interact is forever changing, we often forget that we have to adjust to the landscape we’re now surrounded with. Relationships, sex and sexuality are evolving. But that doesn’t mean you have to change what you want. The kind of relationship you want is down to you. As long as all parties are open and stick to the rules, they work. Whether it’s monogamous or open, honesty is always the key.
We now have the ability to pick up our smartphone and interact with hundreds of guys in minutes… Maybe that’s part of the problem, we’re spoilt for choice. Not that we actually realise it sometimes.
We’ve become so set in our ways, we treat dating like shopping. If he doesn’t fit our checklist, we put him back on the shelf. We often create this unrealistic idea of who we want to meet, and anyone that falls short of that we set aside and continue our search.
Having a huge list of requirements people have to live up to not only lowers your chances of meeting someone, it can give you unrealistic ideas of who you actually want to date. There’s nothing wrong with having core values, characteristics or even a type. But creating the perfect guy in your head and comparing everyone you meet to him, not only creates unrealistic standards, it also scares off people who you might actually have been suited with.
One thing we’ve got to stop saying to ourselves is ‘there are no decent guys out there’ and have a little faith. Because in reality, there are literally thousands of good guys out there. It’s about giving people a chance.
You’ve got to put dating apps into perspective and be honest with yourself. If you’re looking for a bit of fun, say you’re looking for a bit of fun. The same goes if you’re looking to date, the chances are Prince Charming won’t sweep you off your feet if you’re replying with one word answers and only asking him what sexual position he prefers.
I recently had a break from dating and sex. I’ve not done either since last summer (I know), but I needed a reset. I got caught in the trap of having the same conversations on Grindr, getting frustrated at the same situations. Having a detox from using apps did me the world of good. I’m on my own journey of self-discovery as cringe as it sounds.
I think deep down we’re all looking for our happy ever after. But like most things, it’s different for each and every one of us as happiness comes in all shapes and sizes.
If you’re not sure what you want, get out there and find out. Don’t force yourself into someone else’s box and don’t let anyone tell you how to love.
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