Why the Mi Cooper Is Stray, Not Gay | Vany Fair

Contents:

• MI GAY PRI RABOW DIS BALL (CAR REAR VIEW MIRROR OR ORNAMENT) - LGBT GAY & LBIAN PRI ACCSORI
• WHY THE MI COOPER IS STRAY, NOT GAYBY BRETT BERKNOVEMBER 13, 2008SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEEVERYONE KNOWS WHAT A CLOSET CASE VEHICLE IS. WE’VE VERED THAT. BUT THERE’S A MORE DISCREET AND SUBVERSIVE TOMOTIVE SUB-SPECI OUT THERE THAT WE HAVEN’T YET ADDRSED: THE STRAY CAR. WE ALL KNOW A STRAY REAL LIFE, ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO—BEE OF HIS ACTNS, TERTS, AND MANNERISMS—SEEMS CIDLY HOMO, BUT IS ED GENUELY HET. (GAYISH–STRAIGHT=STRAY; APART OM THE FLOCK.) HE MANSP, EATS SALAD, AND SHOPS AT JOHN VARVATOS. HE EVEN RRI A LOUIS VUTON BARREL-BAG ON BS TRIPS. STROLLG THROUGH THE NASHVILLE AIRPORT, HE LOOKS AS QUEER AS THE DIENCE AT A PL VERHOEVEN FTIVAL. BUT AT HOME THE BERKELEY HILLS, HE LOOKS LIKE EVERY NE-YEAR-OLD’S FATHER.WHICH BRGS ME TO THE MI COOPER. BEE ’S HIGHLY STYLIZED, WELL-PACKAGED, ADORABLE, AND BRISH-ISH, MANY PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY ASSUME THAT ’S GAY. WHEN I FIRST STARTED UP STICK SHIFT, MORE THAN ONE OF MY (FEMALE) IENDS MA THIS CLAIM, NTACTG ME AND OFFERG THEIR BELOVED MIS UP AS FODR. “LOVE THE NEW LUMN,” MY IEND VELMA WROTE. “CAN’T WA UNTIL YOU WRE ABOUT MY COOPER, CLY.”WELL, SORRY TO DISAPPOT, BUT HERE’S THE BIG, HARD, THROBBG TTH: MI COOPERS ARE NOT GAY. IN FACT, I WOULD LIKE TO POS THAT MIS ARE MORE LIKE ATVS—JUVENILE BOY-TOYS, BUT FOR STRAIGHT GUYS WHO AREN’T REDNECKS. MY PROOF? BOTH VEHICL HAVE ULTRA-QUICK STEERG. BOTH ARE APPROXIMATELY THE SAME SIZE AND SHAPE. BOTH ARE DRIVEN OUT OF A GEEKY SIRE FOR DIVIDUALY AND EEDOM—ME’S YELLOW AND WHE! ME HAS A REBEL FLAG ON !—THAT ULTIMATELY ENDS UP LOOKG LIKE ANOTHER FORM OF SPERATE NFORMY (UNT THE MIS ON THE STREETS OF WILLIAMSBURG). IT’S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PILOT EHER WHOUT DONNG AN IDTIC SE, A DORKY P, OR THE RA OF SMUG ASSHOLEDOM. AND NEHER ONE IS APPROPRIATE FOR SHOWG UP AT ANY JOB TERVIEW—UNLS YOU’RE APPLYG TO BE BARBIE’S BOYIEND, KEN. WHEN I WAS WORKG ON A MAJOR RE-POSNG PROJECT FOR HOT WHEELS RECENTLY, I HAD TO NDUCT A SERI OF -HOME TERVIEWS WH BRAND LOYAL ADULTS—GROWN-UP MEN WHO STILL LLECT LTLE RS. THE GUYS ALL HAVE SPECIAL SECTNS OF THEIR BASEMENTS GIVEN OVER TO THEIR PASSN—WH HOMEMA DISPLAY S, STORAGE RACKS, AND AMED MEMORABILIA—THAT REMD ME OF THE “VICTIM ROOMS” SERIAL KILLERS BUILD MOVI. (WHENEVER I WENT ONE, I KEPT AN EX AT MY BACK.) TOWARD THE END OF THIS PROJECT, MY LLEAGUE AND I ARRIVED EARLY TO ONE OF OUR -HOM, AND STEAD OF LURKG THE LLECTOR’S DRIVEWAY AND (FURTHER) TERRORIZG HIS WIFE AND KIDS, WE PARKED DOWN THE BLOCK AND KILLED TIME, TRYG TO GUS WHICH OF THE VEHICL TURNG TO THE VELOPMENT BELONGED TO OUR SUBJECT. WE WATCHED HONDAS AND BIMMERS AND LEX ZIP BY. THEN SUDNLY AN ELECTRIC BLUE MI ME REENG THROUGH THE GAT, PILOTED BY A GRNG, CLEAN-CUT, FLAT-PPED, 40 YEAR-OLD. “BGO,” MY -WORKER SAID. SHE ROLLED HER EY. “HE EVEN DRIV A TOY R.”MOST POPULARSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSHHOW MK, THIEL, ZUCKERBERG, AND ANDRESEN—FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS—ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE, AUTOCRATIC REALYBY JONATHAN TAPLDESANTIS BOARD NIX FREE DISNEY PASS AND DISUNTS FOR EMPLOYE, MOVE SURE TO W THE GOVERNOR MAJOR POPULARY POTSBY BS LEVBUT WA, I N HEAR THE QUEER MI-ONS PROTTG, THE R IS PASTEL-LORED, ENVIRONMENTALLY NSC, AND NON-THREATENG TO WOMEN. I’D UNTER THAT THE SAME N BE SAID OF HAWAIIAN SHIRTS, SAW-GRASS, AND STEVE CARELL, NONE OF WHICH SHOULD H THE METER FOR ANY SELF-RPECTG FAG. STILL UNNVCED? HERE’S THE NAIL THE FF: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GAY GUY TOOLG AROUND A VEHICLE WH SOME OTHER UNTRY’S FLAG ON TOP (BIS THIS PARA FLOAT)? THIS KD OF BEHAVR IS RERVED FOR THE TEGORY OF MALE WHO ENJOYS PASSG HIS WEEKENDS WEARG DAY-GLO SOCCER JERSEYS EMBLAZONED WH ANOTHER DU’S NAME AND NATNAL LORS. IN OTHER WORDS, YOUR DGHTER’S BT IEND’S DAD.BRETT BERK

MI GAY PRI RABOW DIS BALL (CAR REAR VIEW MIRROR OR ORNAMENT) - LGBT GAY & LBIAN PRI ACCSORI

1 _ Gacha Life _ {gay seri} - vio Dailymotn. They are on the street for only a few mut on this weekend eveng when David tch the eye of a middle-aged man a black sedan -- a "chicken hawk, " as they say the gay love tra, who is out lookg for youth and sex.

Fifteen mut later, he is back on the strip, back at work on the streets of a cy that he says is beg known " a lot of gay circl as the boy-whore pal. " Lol law enforcement officials agree that Washgton, which has a large gay muny, is quickly tchg up wh New York, Los Angel and Hoton the male sex-for-sale tra.

WHY THE MI COOPER IS STRAY, NOT GAYBY BRETT BERKNOVEMBER 13, 2008SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEEVERYONE KNOWS WHAT A CLOSET CASE VEHICLE IS. WE’VE VERED THAT. BUT THERE’S A MORE DISCREET AND SUBVERSIVE TOMOTIVE SUB-SPECI OUT THERE THAT WE HAVEN’T YET ADDRSED: THE STRAY CAR. WE ALL KNOW A STRAY REAL LIFE, ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO—BEE OF HIS ACTNS, TERTS, AND MANNERISMS—SEEMS CIDLY HOMO, BUT IS ED GENUELY HET. (GAYISH–STRAIGHT=STRAY; APART OM THE FLOCK.) HE MANSP, EATS SALAD, AND SHOPS AT JOHN VARVATOS. HE EVEN RRI A LOUIS VUTON BARREL-BAG ON BS TRIPS. STROLLG THROUGH THE NASHVILLE AIRPORT, HE LOOKS AS QUEER AS THE DIENCE AT A PL VERHOEVEN FTIVAL. BUT AT HOME THE BERKELEY HILLS, HE LOOKS LIKE EVERY NE-YEAR-OLD’S FATHER.WHICH BRGS ME TO THE MI COOPER. BEE ’S HIGHLY STYLIZED, WELL-PACKAGED, ADORABLE, AND BRISH-ISH, MANY PEOPLE IMMEDIATELY ASSUME THAT ’S GAY. WHEN I FIRST STARTED UP STICK SHIFT, MORE THAN ONE OF MY (FEMALE) IENDS MA THIS CLAIM, NTACTG ME AND OFFERG THEIR BELOVED MIS UP AS FODR. “LOVE THE NEW LUMN,” MY IEND VELMA WROTE. “CAN’T WA UNTIL YOU WRE ABOUT MY COOPER, CLY.”WELL, SORRY TO DISAPPOT, BUT HERE’S THE BIG, HARD, THROBBG TTH: MI COOPERS ARE NOT GAY. IN FACT, I WOULD LIKE TO POS THAT MIS ARE MORE LIKE ATVS—JUVENILE BOY-TOYS, BUT FOR STRAIGHT GUYS WHO AREN’T REDNECKS. MY PROOF? BOTH VEHICL HAVE ULTRA-QUICK STEERG. BOTH ARE APPROXIMATELY THE SAME SIZE AND SHAPE. BOTH ARE DRIVEN OUT OF A GEEKY SIRE FOR DIVIDUALY AND EEDOM—ME’S YELLOW AND WHE! ME HAS A REBEL FLAG ON !—THAT ULTIMATELY ENDS UP LOOKG LIKE ANOTHER FORM OF SPERATE NFORMY (UNT THE MIS ON THE STREETS OF WILLIAMSBURG). IT’S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO PILOT EHER WHOUT DONNG AN IDTIC SE, A DORKY P, OR THE RA OF SMUG ASSHOLEDOM. AND NEHER ONE IS APPROPRIATE FOR SHOWG UP AT ANY JOB TERVIEW—UNLS YOU’RE APPLYG TO BE BARBIE’S BOYIEND, KEN. WHEN I WAS WORKG ON A MAJOR RE-POSNG PROJECT FOR HOT WHEELS RECENTLY, I HAD TO NDUCT A SERI OF -HOME TERVIEWS WH BRAND LOYAL ADULTS—GROWN-UP MEN WHO STILL LLECT LTLE RS. THE GUYS ALL HAVE SPECIAL SECTNS OF THEIR BASEMENTS GIVEN OVER TO THEIR PASSN—WH HOMEMA DISPLAY S, STORAGE RACKS, AND AMED MEMORABILIA—THAT REMD ME OF THE “VICTIM ROOMS” SERIAL KILLERS BUILD MOVI. (WHENEVER I WENT ONE, I KEPT AN EX AT MY BACK.) TOWARD THE END OF THIS PROJECT, MY LLEAGUE AND I ARRIVED EARLY TO ONE OF OUR -HOM, AND STEAD OF LURKG THE LLECTOR’S DRIVEWAY AND (FURTHER) TERRORIZG HIS WIFE AND KIDS, WE PARKED DOWN THE BLOCK AND KILLED TIME, TRYG TO GUS WHICH OF THE VEHICL TURNG TO THE VELOPMENT BELONGED TO OUR SUBJECT. WE WATCHED HONDAS AND BIMMERS AND LEX ZIP BY. THEN SUDNLY AN ELECTRIC BLUE MI ME REENG THROUGH THE GAT, PILOTED BY A GRNG, CLEAN-CUT, FLAT-PPED, 40 YEAR-OLD. “BGO,” MY -WORKER SAID. SHE ROLLED HER EY. “HE EVEN DRIV A TOY R.”MOST POPULARSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSHHOW MK, THIEL, ZUCKERBERG, AND ANDRESEN—FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS—ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE, AUTOCRATIC REALYBY JONATHAN TAPLDESANTIS BOARD NIX FREE DISNEY PASS AND DISUNTS FOR EMPLOYE, MOVE SURE TO W THE GOVERNOR MAJOR POPULARY POTSBY BS LEVBUT WA, I N HEAR THE QUEER MI-ONS PROTTG, THE R IS PASTEL-LORED, ENVIRONMENTALLY NSC, AND NON-THREATENG TO WOMEN. I’D UNTER THAT THE SAME N BE SAID OF HAWAIIAN SHIRTS, SAW-GRASS, AND STEVE CARELL, NONE OF WHICH SHOULD H THE METER FOR ANY SELF-RPECTG FAG. STILL UNNVCED? HERE’S THE NAIL THE FF: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GAY GUY TOOLG AROUND A VEHICLE WH SOME OTHER UNTRY’S FLAG ON TOP (BIS THIS PARA FLOAT)? THIS KD OF BEHAVR IS RERVED FOR THE TEGORY OF MALE WHO ENJOYS PASSG HIS WEEKENDS WEARG DAY-GLO SOCCER JERSEYS EMBLAZONED WH ANOTHER DU’S NAME AND NATNAL LORS. IN OTHER WORDS, YOUR DGHTER’S BT IEND’S DAD.BRETT BERK

The male prostutn subculture has been thrivg here for a long time, acrdg to Walter R, a tective the District police partment who has been patrollg the gay porno strips for seven years.

When the boys first arrive on the cy streets, he not, they are not all gay, they are simply lookg for money and some sense of secury and turn to prostutn as the easit way to obta them. Acrdg to police, this mak their efforts to ntrol the gay sex-for-sale tra more difficult.

As wh heterosexual prostutn, street-walkg is only one of many ways of plyg the gay sex-for-sale tra. Some wealthy men, preferrg even more discretn, have been known to send their butlers down to one of the gay strips to rec boys of their likg. And, aga much like heterosexual prostutn, dial-a-date agenci are plentiful the gay sex-for-sale world.

Acrdg to police sourc, some of the lucrative gay out-ll servic are ntrolled by anized crime.

" But as a gay prostute gets olr, David nces, the servic seem more attractive.

Known gay circl simply as "The Block, " is now l up by the headlights of bumper-to-bumper traffic, cisg "chicken hawks" lookg for "chickens.