What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

being a short gay man

Jam Cullen wr about the difficulti of datg as an gay short man.

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WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

If you are both short and gay, (or another mory), which stggle is worse?

As a man who is both short and gay, has been easier for me to al wh beg gay. Perhaps 's bee we live a time when gays are rapidly gag acceptance and I rarely need to take any guff om anyone. As far as datg is ncerned, the preference for tall men seems to also be the se the gay world.

However, I feel like lots of gay guys are all about short guys. So many gay men grow up believg there is somethg “wrong” wh bee we are different om other supposedly “normal” mal.

AS A GAY MAN, I’LL NEVER BE NORMAL

It’s not surprisg that a term like “straight-actg” shows up so often gay men’s onle personal ads. It prumably means the advertiser nsirs himself a “real” man—real, that is, acrdg to a standard of masculy he don’t attribute to other gay men. So many gay men learn we are different om other boys by havg the fact poted out and ridiculed by bulli durg our young, most imprsnable, years.

As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard. How do a gay kid survive the trma he suffers for beg different a culture that still nmns his difference as somethg bad or “ls-than” and wants to mold him to the same shape tri to mold every boy?

Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected. He needs to know that ’s okay not only to be gay if that's what he is, but to be a man who choos what beg a man means for himself.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* BEING A SHORT GAY MAN

What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today.

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