Two new generatn gays share their top five tips.
Contents:
- MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT
- WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
- LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
- MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
- ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
MORN DOS AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS G OUT
* parents of gay daughters *
If your son or dghter don't feel fortable talkg to you right away, or if you don't feel fortable talkg about right away, try nsultg another gay person or anizatn (ex PFLAG) is a suatn Marie experienced tellg me, "Bee I was away at school after g out to my mom, I didn't have the experience of 'livg wh ' daily so I wasn't aware that she was really stgglg wh .
If you are a gay person crisis anizatns like PFLAG Canada, Kids Help Phone, Egale Canada are jt a ll or click 'T: Make about youOne of the most mon reactns om parents n be steppg to a closet of their own, feelg the need to hi the fact that their child has jt e out. Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
Inclus a summary of rearch fdgs on lbian mothers, gay fathers and their children, an annotated biblgraphy of the published psychologil lerature and addnal rourc relevant to lbian and gay parentg. * parents of gay daughters *
The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life.
The prev edn, which was tled Lbian and Gay Parentg: A Rource for Psychologists (1995) was the succsor to a publitn tled Lbian Parents and Their Children: A Rource Paper for Psychologists that was jotly produced by CLGBC and CWP 1991.
Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002). As wh beliefs about other socially stigmatized groups, the beliefs held generally society about lbians and gay men are often not based personal experience, but are equently culturally transmted (Herek, 1995; Gillis, 1998).
LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
Systematic rearch on the children of lbian and gay parents began to appear major profsnal journals the late 1970s and has grown to a nsirable body of rearch only recent years (Allen & Demo, 1995; Patterson, 1992, 2000).
MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
As this summary will show, the rults of existg rearch parg lbian and gay parents to heterosexual parents and children of lbian and gay parents to children of heterosexual parents are que clear: Common stereotyp are not supported by the data. The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups. Other cricisms have been that most studi have been based on relatively small sampl, that there have been difficulti wh asssment procr employed some studi, and that the classifitn of parents as lbian, gay, or heterosexual has been problematic.
‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:. The children raised by gay and lbian parents experienced unually high levels of extreme social ostracism and overt hostily om other children and parents, which probably acunted for the former's lower levels of teractn and social tegratn wh peers (see pp. Most or all of the children beg raised by gay and lbian parents, but not the children beg raised by heterosexual married parents, had experienced parental divorce, which is known to rrelate wh poor adjtment and amic performance.