Gay Parents Raisg Kids: How Will They Fare? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?
• HOW TO DEAL WH HAVG GAY PARENTS
• 5 GAY PARENTG MYTHS
• THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV
• GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*
• KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS

GAY PARENTS RAISG KIDS: HOW WILL THEY FARE?

The days, gay parents are no novelty: We see them strollg through our neighborhoods, participatg our PTA meetgs, and, perhaps most notably, appearg on our TV screens: Mchell and Cam, fathers to Lily, on the ratgs smash Morn Fay; Glee’s Sue Sylvter, expectant mom to a baby nceived wh an as-yet-unrevealed sperm donor, and Rachel’s dads, played wh humor and grace by Jeff Goldblum and Brian Stok.

HOW TO DEAL WH HAVG GAY PARENTS

The Hollywood exampl are important that they’ve helped prent gay parentg as not unlike straight parentg: challengg, joyful, plited, and most of all, entirely normal. Though this media mastreamifitn of gay parentg is a relatively new phenomenon, for s, gay parents have had children all sorts of fay nfiguratns—whether through adoptn, prev heterosexual relatnships, or, creasgly, by choosg to have blogil offsprg g vro, surrogate, and other methods. Last November Illois, Catholic Chari ceased s adoptn servic after the state refed fundg unls the groups agreed not to discrimate agast gays and lbians.

5 GAY PARENTG MYTHS

Although gay and lbian parents are a powerful rource for kids need of adoptn—at least half of all children foster re the U. Are livg wh adoptive gay parents—Catholic Chari simply qu the bs rather than ply. Earlier this month, when Print Obama announced his support for same sex marriage days after North Carola voted to ban , he changed the nversatn nsirably by argug that ncern for children is a reason to support, rather than oppose, gay marriage.

He ced gay upl his own life, “same-sex upl who are as mted, as monogamo, as rponsible, as lovg a group of parents as any heterosexual uple that I know, ” he said. ” His support for gay marriage was self a landmark turn, but jt as notable was s direct affirmatn of gay upl as parents, which served to rebut the standard argument agast gay marriage—namely, that risks the well-beg of children and the fay. They want to know: How will the children of gay parents fare?

THE CHILDREN OF GAY PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELV

Throughout many years of workg wh fai, I’ve studied the liv of gay parents raisg sons and dghters. In general, gay parents tend to be more motivated, more mted, and more thoughtful parents than heterosexual upl.

In my work, I routely saw how, wh enough support om their fai, children of gay parents veloped skills at thkg penntly and standg up for what they believed .

GROWG UP WH GAY PARENTS: WHAT IS THE BIG AL?*

Much of the ncern for the children of gay parents has centered specifilly on boys, who as a group have seemed, pecially recent years, prey to nfn, rentment, and stctivens—somethg creded to the risg proportn of mal beg reared fatherls hom.

And, fact, all the rearch has reported children of gay parents feel ls bound, ls rtricted, by genr stereotyp than those raised straight hoeholds. But kids of gay parents do often face discrimatn, and ’s not always the easit childhood (though show me one that is).

KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS

Perhaps as a by-product of the discrimatn they sometim face, children of gay parents tend to be more sensive to others and to the posive and negative feelgs themselv.

And they have no greater chance of “turng gay” than the child wh the straight parents next door. Science has proven that homosexualy has blogil roots, and if we believe that is neher a choice nor an unlucky orientatn, then we n relax and tst that the young men and women will fd out what possibily naturally to them. As one boy, 10-year-old Kenny, told me matter-of-factly, “I’ll know if I’m gay or straight when I’m olr.