Miss Manners: Nosy women at retirement muny ask rint ‘are you gay?’ durg dner

Contents:

• JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT STRENGTH ACH KEV MAXEN OUT PUBLICLY AS GAY
• IS PAKISTAN A GAY MAN’S PARADISE?
• A GAY GIRL’S GUI TO THE 2023 WOMEN’S WORLD CUP
• GAY PAKISTAN: WHERE SEX IS AVAILABLE AND RELATNSHIPS ARE DIFFICULT
• THERE IS PLENTY OF GAY SEX KARACHI, PAKISTAN
• 5 SAFT PLAC FOR GAY TRAVELERS IN 2019 (AND THE MOST DANGERO)
• THE U.S. & JAMAI ARE FIGHTG OVER GAY RIGHTS
• PAKISTAN’S GAY COMMUNY QUIETLY BREAKG BARRIERSFREE TO BE YOU AND MEACTOR ASSAD KHAN IS PART OF A GENERATN OF YOUNG MEN BREAKG BARRIERS FOR GAYS NSERVATIVE PAKISTAN, WHERE HOMOSEXUALY IS PUNISHED BY PRISON OR WORSE.SAMI YOAFZAIRON MOREUPDATED DEC. 21, 2021 10:39AM EST / PUBLISHED OCT. 30, 2013 5:45AM EDT ASSAD KHAN KNEW HE WAS DIFFERENT OM A VERY YOUNG AGE. AS A CHILD AT HOME HE PREFERRED PLAYG WH HIS TWO SISTERS RATHER THAN HIS TWO BROTHERS. AT SCHOOL, TOO, HE GRAVATED TOWARD PLAYG WH GIRLS. “IN SCHOOL I WAS MORE SECURE AND HAPPY PLAYG WH GIRLS THAN WH BOYS,” SAYS THE 23-YEAR-OLD, BOYISHLY HANDSOME KHAN. AS A RULT OF HIS BEHAVR, HE SAYS, HIS FAY LARGELY IGNORED HIM. “I GOT A TERRIBLE PLEX AS MY FAY FAVORED, AND GAVE MORE ATTENTN TO, MY BROTHERS,” HE RELLS.AS HE GREW UP ISLAMABAD, REACHED PUBERTY AND REALIZED HE WAS GAY, HE SUFFERED EVEN MORE. “BEG A GAY A SOCIETY LIKE PAKISTAN IS NOT EASY,” KHAN SAYS. “FOR A LONG TIME, I WAS IGHTENED OF WHO I WAS, SO I HID MY GAY STAT…I ACTED 24 HOURS A DAY.”EVEN SO, HE WAS NSTANTLY TEASED AND HARASSED FOR HIS APPEARANCE AND MANNERISMS, EVEN OSTRACIZED. HIS PARENTS AND S MA FUN OF HIM. HIS PARENTS WERE ASHAMED TO TRODUCE HIM AS PART OF THE FAY. “AT THE MOSQUE DURG FRIDAY PRAYERS I WAS TEASED AND STARED AT,” HE RELLS. “AT SCHOOL AND LLEGE OTHER STUNTS SHUNNED ME AND MY SMALL CIRCLE OF IENDS.”NOW A SUCCSFUL ACTOR AND FASHN SIGNER, KHAN HAS LIVED AND WORKED THE NSERVATIVE AND BOMB-TERRORIZED NORTHWTERN CY OF PHAWAR FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS. “I FELT THAT SOCIETY WAS TELLG ME I WAS NOT ONE OF THEM, THAT I WAS NOT A PROPER PERSON,” HE SAYS. “BUT SOON I REALIZED THAT ’S NOT MY FLT THAT GOD MA ME GAY. SO AS A YOUNG MAN I ME TO ACCEPT WHO I WAS AND TO BE PROUD OF MYSELF.” HE HAS FLOURISHED EVER SCE HE MA THAT REALIZATN—SUCCEEDG AGAST ALL THE ODDS HOMOPHOBIC PAKISTAN, WHERE THE POWERFUL MLIM CLERGY PREACH THAT HOMOSEXUALY IS PROHIBED UNR ISLAM, AND WHERE SODOMY IS ILLEGAL UNR THE CIVIL AND PUNISHABLE BY A LONG JAIL TERM (THOUGH THE HARSH SENTENCE IS RARELY HAND DOWN). IN THE TALIBAN-NTROLLED TERRORY OF THE NORTHWTERN TRIBAL AGENCI, THE PENALTY IS WORSE: ATH BY FIRG SQUAD OR STONG. EVEN THE MAN ON THE STREET SEEMS TO HAVE NO TIME FOR GAYS. A PEW REARCH CENTER SURVEY OF 39 UNTRI PUBLISHED EARLY JUNE FOUND THAT ONLY TWO PERCENT OF PAKISTANIS BELIEVED THAT “SOCIETY SHOULD ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALY,” SEND ONLY TO NIGERIA, WHICH REGISTERED A ROCK-BOTTOM ONE PERCENT ACCEPTANCE RATG OF GAYS. (BY WAY OF PARISON, 80 PERCENT OF CANADIANS SAID THEY ACCEPTED GAYS.)WHILE THE PAKISTANI ERNMENT DON’T TARGET LGBT CIZENS, NEHER DO HAVE MUCH TOLERANCE FOR THE GAY MUNY OR S ISSU. LATE LAST MONTH AND WHOUT MENT, ISLAMABAD SHUT DOWN THE UNTRY’S FIRST AND ONLY GAY WEBSE, , WHICH WAS FIRST LNCHED LAST JULY. THE WEBSE’S FOUNR, WHO GO BY THE PSDONYM FAKHIR, SAYS THE BAN IS “UNNSTUTNAL AND OPPOS EEDOM OF SPEECH.” BUT HE DO NOT WANT TO PURSUE LEGAL ACTN AS HE DON’T WANT A NONTATN WH THE ERNMENT, WHICH ULD UNMASK THOSE BEHD THE WEBSE WHOSE SUBTLE IS “KNOW , DON’T HATE US.” FAKHIR SAYS THE SE IS NOT “BLASPHEMO OR PORNOGRAPHIC” BUT IS AIMED AT TG GAYS ON HEALTH ISSU SUCH AS PREVENTG THE SPREAD OF HIV, AND ON HOW TO AL WH SOCIAL AND FAY PRSUR AND WH PRSN.BUCKG DISCRIMATN, KHAN, AN ETHNIC PASHTUN WHO GO BY THE NICKNAME OF DANNY, STUDIED FASHN SIGN AT A LLEGE ISLAMABAD AND QUICKLY FELL TO THE GROWG BS OF FASHN, MOLG AND ACTG. HIS ACTG REER GOT A BIG BOOST 2009 WHEN HE WAS ST A BRISH FILM, LLED KANDAHAR BREAK: FORTRS OF WAR, WHICH WAS BEG SHOT BALUCHISTAN, THE WILD-AND-WOOLLY HOME OF HIS ULTRA-TRADNAL SAFI TRIBE WTERN PAKISTAN. HE PLAYED A TALIBAN TERPRETER WH GAY TENNCI WHO WORKED FOR A BRISH EXPLOSIVE ORDANCE DISPOSAL TEAM THAT MULLAH MOHAMMAD OMAR’S REGIME HAD HIRED TO CLEAR ME FIELDS 1999.IN 2010, KHAN MOVED TO HEAVILY TALIBAN-FLUENCED PHAWAR TO FURTHER HIS ACTG AND FASHN REERS, BUT CHIEFLY TO BE CLOSER TO HIS PARTNER. AT FIRST HE WAS TERRIFIED, AAID OF THE TALIBAN AND THE EQUENT TERROR BOMBGS. EVERY DAY HE UTLY EMERGED OM HIS HOTEL FILLED WH TREPIDATN. BUT HE WAS SOON PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY WHAT HE FOUND: GAYS WERE NOT AS UNWELE AND UNR THE GUN AS HE HAD IMAGED. ON THE NTRARY, HE QUICKLY RECEIVED A VIBE THAT MANY YOUNG MEN THE OSTENSIBLY MACHO, LARGELY ISLAMIST CY WERE GAY OR GAY-IENDLY. “IN PHAWAR I FEEL LIKE ALMOST EVERY SEND GUY IS GAY BY THE WAY THEY LOOK AND TALK,” HE SAYS. “ON THE STREETS AND THE MARKETS I THK MOST PEOPLE LOOK AT CUTE BOYS MORE THAN AT GIRLS.” BUT, HE ADDS: “UNFORTUNATELY GAYS FEEL THEY HAVE TO HI THEIR FEELGS AND THEIR TE SELV.”KHAN AND OTHER PAKISTANI GAYS SAY THAT BEG GAY PAKISTAN IS NOT ALL THAT UNUAL SPE THE OSTENSIBLY STRONG PREJUDICE AGAST HOMOSEXUALS. “I’VE FOUND THAT MALE-TO-MALE SEX IS MORE MON THAN YOU’D IMAGE OUR SOCIETY,” SAYS SHEHZAD, A SMART, FASHNABLE AND TED 25-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN OM LAHORE. A JUNE ARTICLE MOTHER JON MAGAZE NFIRMED SHEHZAD’S FEELG, REPORTG THAT PAKISTANIS LEAD THE WORLD GOOGLE SEARCH FOR THE TERMS “SHEMALE SEX,” “TEEN ANAL SEX” AND “MAN F---KG MAN.”PAKISTANI GAYS LIKE KHAN AND SHEHZAD SAY THE UNTRY IS RIFE WH HYPOCRISY. “I KNOW THAT SOME PAKISTANI POLICY MAKERS PRACTICE GAY LOVE PRIVATE, THEN GO OUT AND MAKE LAWS AGAST GAYS,” SAYS SHEHZAD. KHAN AGRE: “I KNOW THAT SOME PAKISTANI POLICIANS OF ALL PARTI, CLUDG THOSE OM RELIG PARTI, ARE TERTED GAY MEN,” HE SAYS. “EVEN SOME MEN WHO TEASED ME FOR BEG GAY SUDNLY E ON TO ME WHEN WE ARE A QUIET SPOT.” “IF YOU HEARD THE NAM OF THE PROMENT MEMBERS OF PAKISTANI SOCIETY WHO ARE GAY, YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE YOUR EARS,” ADDS CHDHRY JAVID, A 28-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN WHO WORKS FOR A FOREIGN AID AGENCY AND LIV A LUXURY APARTMENT ISLAMABAD.STILL, JAVID KEEPS HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATN THE CLOSET, HIDG OM HIS FAY AND IENDS, AND CLAIMG IS TOO EARLY FOR HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF. “IF WE E OUT, OUR FAI WILL CUT OUT LIKE A NCER,” HE SAYS. HE ADDS THAT HE’S ASHAMED THAT HE N’T TELL HIS PARENTS THAT HIS BT IEND IS ALSO HIS SEXUAL PARTNER WHOM HE LOV. “I SUFFER WHEN I LIE TO MY PARENTS SCRIBG HIM AS JT A GOOD IEND,” HE SAYS. SHEHZAD, TOO, SAYS ’S TOO EARLY FOR HIM TO E OUT. “SOCIETY DON’T ACCEPT ,” HE SAYS. “I DON’T DARE TO GO PUBLIC.” FAISAL KHAN, A 28-YEAR-OLD ERNMENT BURECRAT PHAWAR, SAYS HE WOULD GET FIRED OR WORSE IF HE ME OUT. (HE IS NOT RELATED TO ASSAD KHAN.) “I NNOT EXPOSE MYSELF,” HE SAYS. “PEOPLE THE OFFICE WOULD E AGAST ME AND I’D LOSE MY JOB.” FAISAL KHAN SAYS HE DON’T DARE VIS HIS FAY’S HOME VILLAGE JT SOUTH OF PHAWAR FOR FEAR THE TALIBAN WOULD FD OUT ABOUT HIS GAYNS AND PTURE HIM, G A SNDAL FOR HIS FAY. NOR WOULD HE DARE TO NFS HIS SEXUAL PERSUASN TO THE MULLAH AT HIS MOSQUE. “HE WOULD PROBABLY SEND ME TO THE TALIBAN WHO WOULD MAKE A KEBAB OF ME,” HE SAYS.EVEN SO, FAISAL KHAN AND OTHER PAKISTANI GAY MEN SEE HOPE THE FUTURE AS THEY SENSE THAT PUBLIC ATTUS ARE SLOWLY CHANGG. FOR STARTERS, PEOPLE ARE BEGNG TO TOLERATE UNMARRIED YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN NGREGATG TOGETHER PUBLIC. IF THE PUBLIC IS BEGNG TO ACCEPT MEN AND WOMEN DATG, THEY REASON, THEN EVENTUALLY GAY RELATNSHIPS WILL ALSO BE TOLERATED. WEARG A SU AND RED TIE AND SPORTG LONG BLACK HAIR, FAISAL KHAN POTS TO THE NUMERO HETEROSEXUAL UPL STG TOGETHER A MORN UNIVERSY TOWN Fé PHAWAR, TALKG AND LGHG AS THEY EAT WTERN FOOD AND LISTEN TO ROCK MIC. “LOOK, THE BOYS AND GIRLS ARE HERE PUBLIC WHOUT ANY HATN OR FEAR OF SOCIETY OR THE TALIBAN,” HE SAYS. JAVID SAYS THAT A AGO YOU WOULD NEVER SEE YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN HOLDG HANDS PUBLIC. NOW IS ALMOST MON THE CI. IRONILLY, ’S NOT UNMON, AND NOT VIEWED AS HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVR, FOR YOUNG MEN TO HOLD HANDS PUBLIC AS THEY WALK—’S A CTOMARY SIGN OF IENDSHIP.BUT THERE ARE STILL STRICT LIMS. IN RAL, TRADNAL PAKISTAN THERE IS A CLEAR SEPARATN OF THE SEX AS BOYS AND GIRLS ARE FORBIDN TO MEET PUBLIC. YET THE TRADN-BOUND NF OF THE UNTRYSI, IS EASIER FOR GAY PAKISTANI UPL TO NGREGATE PUBLIC THAN FOR MIXED-SEX UPL. “IT’S NORMAL FOR A GROUP OF MEN TO HANG OUT TOGETHER SO NO ONE N BOTHER ,” SAYS JAVID. “BUT SOME TRADNAL AREAS, BOYS AND GIRLS GOG OUT TOGETHER IS STILL A S AGAST SOCIETY AND OUR RELIGN.” JAVID ADDS THAT VIEWG HOMOSEXUALY AS A S, AS MOST PAKISTANIS DO, IS ABSURD SCE THERE IS NO VICTIM. “AREN’T THE RAMPANT RPTN OUR SOCIETY AND THE KILLG OF NOCENTS BY THE TALIBAN GREATER SS?” JAVID ASKS.FOR MOST GAYS PAKISTAN, SOCIETY’S VIEWS ARE NOT CHANGG FAST ENOUGH. SO FOR NOW, THEY ARE FORCED TO LIVE LARGELY AN UNRGROUND EXISTENCE. THEY POT TO THE MANY AND LAVISH SUBTERRANEAN GAY PARTI AS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THEIR SOCIAL LIV. “THE WEEKLY UNRGROUND PARTI KEEP HAPPY,” SAYS SHEHZAD. “HERE WE HAVE A PLACE TO ENJOY OURSELV HIDN OM THE TALIBAN, THE ERNMENT AND THE POLICE.” ORGANIZG THE EXTRAVAGANT, GAY PARTI ISLAMABAD AND PHAWAR HAS BEE A GOOD BS FOR ASSAD KHAN. HE SAYS THAT MANY OF THE PARTI HE ANIZ ST $5,000 OR MORE TO VER THE EXPENSE OF RENTG A LARGE, POSH HOE OR RECEPTN HALL, PROVIDG PRIVATE SECURY, LIVE BANDS, FOOD AND DRKS AND PAYG OFF THE PS. PARTYERS PAY AN ADMISSN CHARGE, ALLOWG KHAN TO MAKE A PROF. “ISLAMABAD IS A CY FAMO FOR THE BIGGT NUMBER OF GAY PARTI,” ASSAD KHAN SAYS. “THE NUMBER OF THE PARTI, AND THE NUMBER OF GAYS ATTENDG, IS CREASG, EVEN PHAWAR.” HE ALSO HELPED ANIZE A SUMMER MIC FTIVAL THE MOUNTA RORT OF SWAT THIS PAST SUMMER THE FACE OF TALIBAN THREATS, AND HE PLANS TO BRG FASHN SHOWS TO NSERVATIVE PHAWAR SOON.ALTHOUGH MAY BE PREMATURE, KHAN IS TRYG TO ANIZE A GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT PABLE OF STANDG UP TO THE TALIBAN, THE POLICIANS AND AGGRSIVE PAKISTANI PS. AS A RULT OF HIS EFFORTS, HE HAS RECEIVED ANONYMO, THREATENG PHONE LLS AND HAS PED AN ATTEMPT TO KIDNAP HIM AT A WEDDG RECEPTN NOT LONG AGO. BUT HE REMAS UNSHAKEN. “WE HAVE TO FEAT THE NCEPT OF FEAR AND TERROR,” HE SAYS. “EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIVE AS THEY PLEASE. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DICTATE TO .” HE ADDS: “I WANT TO BE A LEADG VOICE FOR GAY RIGHTS AND PROTECTN.”BUT HE QUICKLY EMPHASIZ THAT HIS PH FOR GAY RIGHTS STOPS SHORT OF MPAIGNG FOR THE LEGALIZATN OF GAY MARRIAGE. “WE DON’T WANT TO PH FOR GAY MARRIAGE, ONLY FOR OUR HUMAN RIGHTS,” HE SAYS. MOST OTHER GAYS STEER CLEAR OF ANY GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT, FEARG RETALIATN. “THE TALIBAN AND OTHER EXTREMISTS WILL TARGET ANY GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT,” SAYS SHEHZAD. “IT’S TOO DANGERO TO GET VOLVED.” SAMI YOAFZAI
• PAKISTAN’S GAYS DARK AFTER MLIM NATN’S FIRST GAY WEBSE BLOCKED
• GAY FURRY HACKERS ARE TARGETG US STAT FOR PASSG ANTI-TRANS LEGISLATN
• MISS MANNERS: NOSY WOMEN AT RETIREMENT MUNY ASK RINT ‘ARE YOU GAY?’ DURG DNER
• HOW GAY IS PAKISTAN?
• GAY DATG PAKISTAN

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT STRENGTH ACH KEV MAXEN OUT PUBLICLY AS GAY

In other words, where Bud Light has buckled unr prsure as bigotry grows agast the LGBTQ+ muny, Gay Water’s creator Spencer Hodson wants his new boozy brand to be the anthis of that. “The key issue that Bud Light tapped to was the fact that they didn’t unrstand their re dience and know enough about them,” Hodson, a gay man, told CNN about the ntroversy that began when the Anhser-Bch beer brand sent fluencer Dylan Mulvaney a n of beer.

IS PAKISTAN A GAY MAN’S PARADISE?

The two chatted about the limed amount of gay people wh , and wh Hodson burnt out om his tradnal day job tech, started the nned cktail. Hodson built up a strong social media followg on TikTok and Instagram durg Covid-19 and is g some of the money om that (as well as om iends and fay) to help fund Gay Water.

A GAY GIRL’S GUI TO THE 2023 WOMEN’S WORLD CUP

“Gay is an umbrella term and the ia behd the brand is to be as clive as possible, which means we want alli, we want straight people to be part of this muny we’re buildg.”.

For now, Gay Water is sold largely onle (wh a few retailers) and four sugar-ee flavors — watermelon, lime, peach and grapeu — at lnch. Gay Water might not have the ep pockets pared to s petors, like Whe Claw, but “even at small sle, pani of many siz are havg succs makg spir-based seltzers and premixed cktails,” Bryan Roth, an analyst for Feel Goods Company and edor of the alhol beverage newsletter, Sightl+, told CNN.

GAY PAKISTAN: WHERE SEX IS AVAILABLE AND RELATNSHIPS ARE DIFFICULT

“There’s lots of space the spir-based seltzer tegory which Gay Water n play, pecially if the brand n offer a cultural or emotnal nnectn that will feel more excg than the prospect of another peapple-flavored vodka seltzer om natnal or ternatnal rporatns,” Roth said. Of urse, other drks e the word “gay,” too, cludg Gay Beer and So Gay Rosé, Hodson noted, which are also tryg to reach the queer muny and offer them an alternative the straight-domated space.

Jacksonville Jaguars assistant strength and ndng ach Kev Maxen cid on Thursday to e out publicly as gay hop of livg his life whout fear and to spire others.

Before jog Jacksonville’s achg staff, he was a strength ach for the football teams at Baylor and Febary 2022, Maxen reached out to NFL player Carl Nassib, who me out as gay 2021, to seek advice. Pakistani law clus provisns agast “obsceny” and havg “rnal knowledge agast the orr of nature, ” makg homosexual acts illegal, although the provisns are rarely enforced as the charg are difficult to prove.

THERE IS PLENTY OF GAY SEX KARACHI, PAKISTAN

In Pakistan’s patriarchal society, if a man brgs dishonour to his fay by beg openly gay, he uld stroy his sisters’ chanc of a suable marriage.

5 SAFT PLAC FOR GAY TRAVELERS IN 2019 (AND THE MOST DANGERO)

This is heightened for some by the perceptn that many of the more liberal, ted, middle- and upper- class gay men are also agnostic or atheist. “It would be a massacre Pakistan — open war, ” says G, when asked about the possibily of changg the laws to crimalize homosexual acts. Last time at the 2019 Women’s World Cup, the Netherlands lay claim to the honor of beg the team wh the most out LGBTQ players, but this year Atralia boasts 10 out players and overtak them for the tle of Gayt Team 2k23.

THE U.S. & JAMAI ARE FIGHTG OVER GAY RIGHTS

Ireland’s historic entry to the tournament marks another triumph for out midfielr Sead Farrelly, whose natnal team but and 2023 return to the NWSL e more than six years after retirg om soccer the wake of systemic homophobic and sexual abe wh the league, which the Athletic first reported on 2021.

PAKISTAN’S GAY COMMUNY QUIETLY BREAKG BARRIERSFREE TO BE YOU AND MEACTOR ASSAD KHAN IS PART OF A GENERATN OF YOUNG MEN BREAKG BARRIERS FOR GAYS NSERVATIVE PAKISTAN, WHERE HOMOSEXUALY IS PUNISHED BY PRISON OR WORSE.SAMI YOAFZAIRON MOREUPDATED DEC. 21, 2021 10:39AM EST / PUBLISHED OCT. 30, 2013 5:45AM EDT ASSAD KHAN KNEW HE WAS DIFFERENT OM A VERY YOUNG AGE. AS A CHILD AT HOME HE PREFERRED PLAYG WH HIS TWO SISTERS RATHER THAN HIS TWO BROTHERS. AT SCHOOL, TOO, HE GRAVATED TOWARD PLAYG WH GIRLS. “IN SCHOOL I WAS MORE SECURE AND HAPPY PLAYG WH GIRLS THAN WH BOYS,” SAYS THE 23-YEAR-OLD, BOYISHLY HANDSOME KHAN. AS A RULT OF HIS BEHAVR, HE SAYS, HIS FAY LARGELY IGNORED HIM. “I GOT A TERRIBLE PLEX AS MY FAY FAVORED, AND GAVE MORE ATTENTN TO, MY BROTHERS,” HE RELLS.AS HE GREW UP ISLAMABAD, REACHED PUBERTY AND REALIZED HE WAS GAY, HE SUFFERED EVEN MORE. “BEG A GAY A SOCIETY LIKE PAKISTAN IS NOT EASY,” KHAN SAYS. “FOR A LONG TIME, I WAS IGHTENED OF WHO I WAS, SO I HID MY GAY STAT…I ACTED 24 HOURS A DAY.”EVEN SO, HE WAS NSTANTLY TEASED AND HARASSED FOR HIS APPEARANCE AND MANNERISMS, EVEN OSTRACIZED. HIS PARENTS AND S MA FUN OF HIM. HIS PARENTS WERE ASHAMED TO TRODUCE HIM AS PART OF THE FAY. “AT THE MOSQUE DURG FRIDAY PRAYERS I WAS TEASED AND STARED AT,” HE RELLS. “AT SCHOOL AND LLEGE OTHER STUNTS SHUNNED ME AND MY SMALL CIRCLE OF IENDS.”NOW A SUCCSFUL ACTOR AND FASHN SIGNER, KHAN HAS LIVED AND WORKED THE NSERVATIVE AND BOMB-TERRORIZED NORTHWTERN CY OF PHAWAR FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS. “I FELT THAT SOCIETY WAS TELLG ME I WAS NOT ONE OF THEM, THAT I WAS NOT A PROPER PERSON,” HE SAYS. “BUT SOON I REALIZED THAT ’S NOT MY FLT THAT GOD MA ME GAY. SO AS A YOUNG MAN I ME TO ACCEPT WHO I WAS AND TO BE PROUD OF MYSELF.” HE HAS FLOURISHED EVER SCE HE MA THAT REALIZATN—SUCCEEDG AGAST ALL THE ODDS HOMOPHOBIC PAKISTAN, WHERE THE POWERFUL MLIM CLERGY PREACH THAT HOMOSEXUALY IS PROHIBED UNR ISLAM, AND WHERE SODOMY IS ILLEGAL UNR THE CIVIL AND PUNISHABLE BY A LONG JAIL TERM (THOUGH THE HARSH SENTENCE IS RARELY HAND DOWN). IN THE TALIBAN-NTROLLED TERRORY OF THE NORTHWTERN TRIBAL AGENCI, THE PENALTY IS WORSE: ATH BY FIRG SQUAD OR STONG. EVEN THE MAN ON THE STREET SEEMS TO HAVE NO TIME FOR GAYS. A PEW REARCH CENTER SURVEY OF 39 UNTRI PUBLISHED EARLY JUNE FOUND THAT ONLY TWO PERCENT OF PAKISTANIS BELIEVED THAT “SOCIETY SHOULD ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALY,” SEND ONLY TO NIGERIA, WHICH REGISTERED A ROCK-BOTTOM ONE PERCENT ACCEPTANCE RATG OF GAYS. (BY WAY OF PARISON, 80 PERCENT OF CANADIANS SAID THEY ACCEPTED GAYS.)WHILE THE PAKISTANI ERNMENT DON’T TARGET LGBT CIZENS, NEHER DO HAVE MUCH TOLERANCE FOR THE GAY MUNY OR S ISSU. LATE LAST MONTH AND WHOUT MENT, ISLAMABAD SHUT DOWN THE UNTRY’S FIRST AND ONLY GAY WEBSE, , WHICH WAS FIRST LNCHED LAST JULY. THE WEBSE’S FOUNR, WHO GO BY THE PSDONYM FAKHIR, SAYS THE BAN IS “UNNSTUTNAL AND OPPOS EEDOM OF SPEECH.” BUT HE DO NOT WANT TO PURSUE LEGAL ACTN AS HE DON’T WANT A NONTATN WH THE ERNMENT, WHICH ULD UNMASK THOSE BEHD THE WEBSE WHOSE SUBTLE IS “KNOW , DON’T HATE US.” FAKHIR SAYS THE SE IS NOT “BLASPHEMO OR PORNOGRAPHIC” BUT IS AIMED AT TG GAYS ON HEALTH ISSU SUCH AS PREVENTG THE SPREAD OF HIV, AND ON HOW TO AL WH SOCIAL AND FAY PRSUR AND WH PRSN.BUCKG DISCRIMATN, KHAN, AN ETHNIC PASHTUN WHO GO BY THE NICKNAME OF DANNY, STUDIED FASHN SIGN AT A LLEGE ISLAMABAD AND QUICKLY FELL TO THE GROWG BS OF FASHN, MOLG AND ACTG. HIS ACTG REER GOT A BIG BOOST 2009 WHEN HE WAS ST A BRISH FILM, LLED KANDAHAR BREAK: FORTRS OF WAR, WHICH WAS BEG SHOT BALUCHISTAN, THE WILD-AND-WOOLLY HOME OF HIS ULTRA-TRADNAL SAFI TRIBE WTERN PAKISTAN. HE PLAYED A TALIBAN TERPRETER WH GAY TENNCI WHO WORKED FOR A BRISH EXPLOSIVE ORDANCE DISPOSAL TEAM THAT MULLAH MOHAMMAD OMAR’S REGIME HAD HIRED TO CLEAR ME FIELDS 1999.IN 2010, KHAN MOVED TO HEAVILY TALIBAN-FLUENCED PHAWAR TO FURTHER HIS ACTG AND FASHN REERS, BUT CHIEFLY TO BE CLOSER TO HIS PARTNER. AT FIRST HE WAS TERRIFIED, AAID OF THE TALIBAN AND THE EQUENT TERROR BOMBGS. EVERY DAY HE UTLY EMERGED OM HIS HOTEL FILLED WH TREPIDATN. BUT HE WAS SOON PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY WHAT HE FOUND: GAYS WERE NOT AS UNWELE AND UNR THE GUN AS HE HAD IMAGED. ON THE NTRARY, HE QUICKLY RECEIVED A VIBE THAT MANY YOUNG MEN THE OSTENSIBLY MACHO, LARGELY ISLAMIST CY WERE GAY OR GAY-IENDLY. “IN PHAWAR I FEEL LIKE ALMOST EVERY SEND GUY IS GAY BY THE WAY THEY LOOK AND TALK,” HE SAYS. “ON THE STREETS AND THE MARKETS I THK MOST PEOPLE LOOK AT CUTE BOYS MORE THAN AT GIRLS.” BUT, HE ADDS: “UNFORTUNATELY GAYS FEEL THEY HAVE TO HI THEIR FEELGS AND THEIR TE SELV.”KHAN AND OTHER PAKISTANI GAYS SAY THAT BEG GAY PAKISTAN IS NOT ALL THAT UNUAL SPE THE OSTENSIBLY STRONG PREJUDICE AGAST HOMOSEXUALS. “I’VE FOUND THAT MALE-TO-MALE SEX IS MORE MON THAN YOU’D IMAGE OUR SOCIETY,” SAYS SHEHZAD, A SMART, FASHNABLE AND TED 25-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN OM LAHORE. A JUNE ARTICLE MOTHER JON MAGAZE NFIRMED SHEHZAD’S FEELG, REPORTG THAT PAKISTANIS LEAD THE WORLD GOOGLE SEARCH FOR THE TERMS “SHEMALE SEX,” “TEEN ANAL SEX” AND “MAN F---KG MAN.”PAKISTANI GAYS LIKE KHAN AND SHEHZAD SAY THE UNTRY IS RIFE WH HYPOCRISY. “I KNOW THAT SOME PAKISTANI POLICY MAKERS PRACTICE GAY LOVE PRIVATE, THEN GO OUT AND MAKE LAWS AGAST GAYS,” SAYS SHEHZAD. KHAN AGRE: “I KNOW THAT SOME PAKISTANI POLICIANS OF ALL PARTI, CLUDG THOSE OM RELIG PARTI, ARE TERTED GAY MEN,” HE SAYS. “EVEN SOME MEN WHO TEASED ME FOR BEG GAY SUDNLY E ON TO ME WHEN WE ARE A QUIET SPOT.” “IF YOU HEARD THE NAM OF THE PROMENT MEMBERS OF PAKISTANI SOCIETY WHO ARE GAY, YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE YOUR EARS,” ADDS CHDHRY JAVID, A 28-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN WHO WORKS FOR A FOREIGN AID AGENCY AND LIV A LUXURY APARTMENT ISLAMABAD.STILL, JAVID KEEPS HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATN THE CLOSET, HIDG OM HIS FAY AND IENDS, AND CLAIMG IS TOO EARLY FOR HIM TO REVEAL HIMSELF. “IF WE E OUT, OUR FAI WILL CUT OUT LIKE A NCER,” HE SAYS. HE ADDS THAT HE’S ASHAMED THAT HE N’T TELL HIS PARENTS THAT HIS BT IEND IS ALSO HIS SEXUAL PARTNER WHOM HE LOV. “I SUFFER WHEN I LIE TO MY PARENTS SCRIBG HIM AS JT A GOOD IEND,” HE SAYS. SHEHZAD, TOO, SAYS ’S TOO EARLY FOR HIM TO E OUT. “SOCIETY DON’T ACCEPT ,” HE SAYS. “I DON’T DARE TO GO PUBLIC.” FAISAL KHAN, A 28-YEAR-OLD ERNMENT BURECRAT PHAWAR, SAYS HE WOULD GET FIRED OR WORSE IF HE ME OUT. (HE IS NOT RELATED TO ASSAD KHAN.) “I NNOT EXPOSE MYSELF,” HE SAYS. “PEOPLE THE OFFICE WOULD E AGAST ME AND I’D LOSE MY JOB.” FAISAL KHAN SAYS HE DON’T DARE VIS HIS FAY’S HOME VILLAGE JT SOUTH OF PHAWAR FOR FEAR THE TALIBAN WOULD FD OUT ABOUT HIS GAYNS AND PTURE HIM, G A SNDAL FOR HIS FAY. NOR WOULD HE DARE TO NFS HIS SEXUAL PERSUASN TO THE MULLAH AT HIS MOSQUE. “HE WOULD PROBABLY SEND ME TO THE TALIBAN WHO WOULD MAKE A KEBAB OF ME,” HE SAYS.EVEN SO, FAISAL KHAN AND OTHER PAKISTANI GAY MEN SEE HOPE THE FUTURE AS THEY SENSE THAT PUBLIC ATTUS ARE SLOWLY CHANGG. FOR STARTERS, PEOPLE ARE BEGNG TO TOLERATE UNMARRIED YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN NGREGATG TOGETHER PUBLIC. IF THE PUBLIC IS BEGNG TO ACCEPT MEN AND WOMEN DATG, THEY REASON, THEN EVENTUALLY GAY RELATNSHIPS WILL ALSO BE TOLERATED. WEARG A SU AND RED TIE AND SPORTG LONG BLACK HAIR, FAISAL KHAN POTS TO THE NUMERO HETEROSEXUAL UPL STG TOGETHER A MORN UNIVERSY TOWN Fé PHAWAR, TALKG AND LGHG AS THEY EAT WTERN FOOD AND LISTEN TO ROCK MIC. “LOOK, THE BOYS AND GIRLS ARE HERE PUBLIC WHOUT ANY HATN OR FEAR OF SOCIETY OR THE TALIBAN,” HE SAYS. JAVID SAYS THAT A AGO YOU WOULD NEVER SEE YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN HOLDG HANDS PUBLIC. NOW IS ALMOST MON THE CI. IRONILLY, ’S NOT UNMON, AND NOT VIEWED AS HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVR, FOR YOUNG MEN TO HOLD HANDS PUBLIC AS THEY WALK—’S A CTOMARY SIGN OF IENDSHIP.BUT THERE ARE STILL STRICT LIMS. IN RAL, TRADNAL PAKISTAN THERE IS A CLEAR SEPARATN OF THE SEX AS BOYS AND GIRLS ARE FORBIDN TO MEET PUBLIC. YET THE TRADN-BOUND NF OF THE UNTRYSI, IS EASIER FOR GAY PAKISTANI UPL TO NGREGATE PUBLIC THAN FOR MIXED-SEX UPL. “IT’S NORMAL FOR A GROUP OF MEN TO HANG OUT TOGETHER SO NO ONE N BOTHER ,” SAYS JAVID. “BUT SOME TRADNAL AREAS, BOYS AND GIRLS GOG OUT TOGETHER IS STILL A S AGAST SOCIETY AND OUR RELIGN.” JAVID ADDS THAT VIEWG HOMOSEXUALY AS A S, AS MOST PAKISTANIS DO, IS ABSURD SCE THERE IS NO VICTIM. “AREN’T THE RAMPANT RPTN OUR SOCIETY AND THE KILLG OF NOCENTS BY THE TALIBAN GREATER SS?” JAVID ASKS.FOR MOST GAYS PAKISTAN, SOCIETY’S VIEWS ARE NOT CHANGG FAST ENOUGH. SO FOR NOW, THEY ARE FORCED TO LIVE LARGELY AN UNRGROUND EXISTENCE. THEY POT TO THE MANY AND LAVISH SUBTERRANEAN GAY PARTI AS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THEIR SOCIAL LIV. “THE WEEKLY UNRGROUND PARTI KEEP HAPPY,” SAYS SHEHZAD. “HERE WE HAVE A PLACE TO ENJOY OURSELV HIDN OM THE TALIBAN, THE ERNMENT AND THE POLICE.” ORGANIZG THE EXTRAVAGANT, GAY PARTI ISLAMABAD AND PHAWAR HAS BEE A GOOD BS FOR ASSAD KHAN. HE SAYS THAT MANY OF THE PARTI HE ANIZ ST $5,000 OR MORE TO VER THE EXPENSE OF RENTG A LARGE, POSH HOE OR RECEPTN HALL, PROVIDG PRIVATE SECURY, LIVE BANDS, FOOD AND DRKS AND PAYG OFF THE PS. PARTYERS PAY AN ADMISSN CHARGE, ALLOWG KHAN TO MAKE A PROF. “ISLAMABAD IS A CY FAMO FOR THE BIGGT NUMBER OF GAY PARTI,” ASSAD KHAN SAYS. “THE NUMBER OF THE PARTI, AND THE NUMBER OF GAYS ATTENDG, IS CREASG, EVEN PHAWAR.” HE ALSO HELPED ANIZE A SUMMER MIC FTIVAL THE MOUNTA RORT OF SWAT THIS PAST SUMMER THE FACE OF TALIBAN THREATS, AND HE PLANS TO BRG FASHN SHOWS TO NSERVATIVE PHAWAR SOON.ALTHOUGH MAY BE PREMATURE, KHAN IS TRYG TO ANIZE A GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT PABLE OF STANDG UP TO THE TALIBAN, THE POLICIANS AND AGGRSIVE PAKISTANI PS. AS A RULT OF HIS EFFORTS, HE HAS RECEIVED ANONYMO, THREATENG PHONE LLS AND HAS PED AN ATTEMPT TO KIDNAP HIM AT A WEDDG RECEPTN NOT LONG AGO. BUT HE REMAS UNSHAKEN. “WE HAVE TO FEAT THE NCEPT OF FEAR AND TERROR,” HE SAYS. “EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIVE AS THEY PLEASE. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO DICTATE TO .” HE ADDS: “I WANT TO BE A LEADG VOICE FOR GAY RIGHTS AND PROTECTN.”BUT HE QUICKLY EMPHASIZ THAT HIS PH FOR GAY RIGHTS STOPS SHORT OF MPAIGNG FOR THE LEGALIZATN OF GAY MARRIAGE. “WE DON’T WANT TO PH FOR GAY MARRIAGE, ONLY FOR OUR HUMAN RIGHTS,” HE SAYS. MOST OTHER GAYS STEER CLEAR OF ANY GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT, FEARG RETALIATN. “THE TALIBAN AND OTHER EXTREMISTS WILL TARGET ANY GAY RIGHTS MOVEMENT,” SAYS SHEHZAD. “IT’S TOO DANGERO TO GET VOLVED.” SAMI YOAFZAI

Unrground parti, group sex at shr and "marriag of nvenience" to members of the oppose sex are jt some of the surpris that gay Pakistan has to offer. Danyaal, as he's asked to be known, is a 50-somethg bsman who liv an affluent part of Karachi, and his smartphone to anise Karachi's gay party scene. "Gay men will make every effort to stop any vtment a same-sex relatnship bee they know that one day they will have to get married to a woman, " he says.

The shre is far om the only place Karachi where gay sex is eely is, for example, easy to buy om a malchi walah - a massr who offers massage and "extras" for the equivalent of £5, or $7.

PAKISTAN’S GAYS DARK AFTER MLIM NATN’S FIRST GAY WEBSE BLOCKED

"In almost all s charg will be dropped, Iqbal says, but the boys will be forced to get married by their ocsnally, though, Pakistani parents do rencile themselv to children enterg a long-term gay and Ali are one such uple who have ma thgs work, agast the odds. For many gay men Pakistan, a heterosexual marriage and a life of anonymo gropg is the long-term life n be even more difficult for gay women. I know some gay guys and maybe we'll do a al so we put money together and they have one portn of the hoe and we'll have another portn.

"Fatima, who ntribut to an vatn-only onle gay support group, believ 's only "a matter of time" before Pakistan begs to bate gay rights openly, and people clare their homosexualy wh pri. But there will still be private spac where gay Pakistanis n exprs their sexualy of the nam of the ntributors have been changed to protect their n hear more on this story on BBC Rad 4's Crossg Contents, on Thursday 29 Augt at 11:00am or on Assignment on the World Service on the same day.

GAY FURRY HACKERS ARE TARGETG US STAT FOR PASSG ANTI-TRANS LEGISLATN

Yet gay sex is apparently prevalent the untry, which is home to 183 ln people, some 97% of whom are the BBC's Mobeen Azhar reports  a fascatg vtigatn, the batn of the prevalence of gay mobile apps like Grdr and Scff, pl the on of arranged marriage, has ma the Pakistani cy of Karachi — the natn's biggt cy, at nearly 24 ln people — a hotbed of gay sex, even if actually matag a gay liftyle is still credibly difficult. Gay rights don't exist there, beg openly gay is still looked down upon, gay relatnships are hard to e by, and Karachi pretty much fails on every metric of gay life except for one: man-on-man sex. Earlier this summer, for example, the Pew Rearch Center found that Pakistan was simultaneoly one of the most tolerant untri the world for gay people while at the same time beg one of the world lears searchg for gay porn.

He's right: a simple search on Scff, a gay datg mobile app turned up plenty of men (whose fac we've obscured) Karachi lookg to nnect:But isn't all technologil cisg, eher.

MISS MANNERS: NOSY WOMEN AT RETIREMENT MUNY ASK RINT ‘ARE YOU GAY?’ DURG DNER

At the end of all, everyone gets married to a member of the oppose sex and nothg is spoken about, " a lol told gay relatnships bee an anomaly. That don't entirely sound like paradise to 's Note: We changed the wordg the lead paragraph to make the tentn of the article more clear: that there is plenty of (technilly) illegal gay sex gog on article is om the archive of our partner The Wire. In an attempt to help terme the worst plac for gay travelers, the duo created the 2019 LGBTQ+ Danger Inx, rankg the world’s most dangero—and saft—untri for gay travelers.

The journalists looked at the top 150 most-vised untri the world by the number of g tourists, then ranked them g eight factors, cludg laws agast gay relatnships, legal protectn agast discrimatn and more. “In 2018, India managed to annul Sectn 377, a Brish lonial-era law prohibg ‘unnatural acts, ’ orr to legalize nsensual gay sex, ” says Fergson, who pots out that ancient Indian lerature such as the Mahabharata and Ramayana have many referenc to LGBTQ+ hero cludg transgenr warrrs and two queens who ma love orr for one queen to get pregnant wh an heir for their kgdom.

“Long story short, this pots to the fact that was likely the Brish fluence that largely led to Indian homophobia the first place, ” she says.

HOW GAY IS PAKISTAN?

“We found this to be a b ironic as the reason for many of the harsh homophobic laws untri throughout the world is largely leftover om laws created durg Brish le, ” says Fergson. Ci like Lisbon and Porto have the bt gay scen the untry and Portugal is hopg to host the 2022 Europri, the world's biggt event celebratg gay pri Europe. Wh an overall natnal attu that is relaxed and acceptg towards homosexualy, Belgium is known for havg a vibrant gay and lbian scene, particularly Bssels, ” says Fergson.

GAY DATG PAKISTAN

It was ranked so highly largely due to the extreme penalti for simply beg gay, which clu up to 14 years prison and the ath penalty stat unr Sharia law, ” says Fergson. “This oil-rich Middle Eastern untry enforc up to three years prison, floggg and the ath penalty unr Sharia law for any acts of homosexualy.

“In Yemen, the punishment for beg gay for both men and women is prison time and 100 lash, wh ath by stong for married men, ” says Fergson. “Sdi Arabia is another of the untri on our list which implements the ath penalty for nsensual homosexualy unr their terpretatn of Sharia law, ” says Fergson. “In Tanzania, any homosexual acts rult 30 years to life prison, and there has been a recent ernment crackdown on LGBT activy wh the untry.