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Like a lot of 19-year-old virgs (gay or straight), Clayton Pettet is really ncerned about losg and has been thkg about his first time for the past three years. Unlike a lot of 19-year-old virgs, Pettet will not be able to endure this often awkward, re of passage the privacy of a backseat or a llege dorm room — he's gog to lose his virgy a gallery, bee ... art.

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LIKE A VIRG - A GAY VIRG

There's a way to burst through the shame gay men are ma to feel about homosexualy. * gay virgin *

As the only out young gay kid at my school, I took the advancement of my sexual experienc to my own hands and I did what we all do: I bought a fake ID and h the gay clubs. While I knew wouldn’t be like a gay llege eroti I’d read on (gay non, really), I rather naively wasn’t expectg the fall out. I realize I fell to that old gay adage of placg my feelgs on a person who, for whatever reason, was never gog to vt them back me.

Worst of all, though, the shame attached to the memori of those first tim marred how I would approach sex for was listeng to Years & Years’ new song “Sanctify, ” and seeg the band’s out gay sger Olly Alexanr talk about how the song was spired his sexual trysts wh straight men, that I realized that the feelgs are way more mon than people let on.

THIS YOUNG GAY GUY IS LOSG HIS VIRGY AS PERFORMANCE ART

Gay virgs prove that 's possible to separate the sex om the sexual orientatn. How do you know you're gay if you haven't had sex? And what nstut virgy for gay people? * gay virgin *

Sure, I know all about gay guys havg sex wh straight guys, but felt reassurg to see him scribe the “sat and sner role” he embodied durg those experienc, and to hear the uncertaty and melancholy weaved to the than anythg though, was the repeated lyril mantra of “I won’t be ashamed. Gay virgs prove that 's possible to separate the sex om the sexual orientatn. "Hontly, as far as I know, I'm the only gay virg Buffalo, " says Michael Empric, 24, who do public relatns for the Amerin Red Cross, drks skim k, don't smoke, lov TiVo and gog to the gym, and was chosen as 's "Hottie of the Day" this past Febary.

* gay virgin *

"I never ma the nnectn between the strong feelgs I had for men and actually beg gay, " he says. The pattern of cultural passns that helped Empric e to unrstand that he is gay don't make him particularly unual.

Gay men and lbians have ed Bea Arthur, Barney's sal, mullet haircuts, and U-Hl tcks as touchston of sexual inty for s. But for gay people prev generatns, mastery of this pattern has generally been a by-product of sexual experience, a postal learned orr to mark onelf as a member of the tribe. The reason they learned the wasn't primarily to take on a gay or lbian inty; was to meet people wh whom to have sex.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY VIRGIN

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