Lovg Gay People While Rejectg Gay Activism: Reflectns on the Meang of Stonewall | Ask Dr. Brown

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By Dr. Michael Brown When I first beme burned to ph back agast gay activism 2004, I immediately began to read the stori of gay activists, gay pastors, and others. That’s bee I wanted to have a heart for the people as opposed to simply standg up to the activism. And the more I

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GAY LOVE

Dreams about beg gay n be nfg and even distrsg for those who have them, pecially if they intify as heterosexual wakg life. * loving gay meaning *

Toby sound bleak when he scribed the Christian lerature she regularly sent him about the evils of homosexualy and how gays were beg plagued by AIDS as punishment om God.

After more than three s of safer sex msag agast the backdrop of gay men sickeng horribly and then dyg, new medil treatments have stemmed the ti of the panmic and offered real hope for longer-term survival to people wh HIV. Queer theorist Tim Dean (2000) wr: "In view of statistics on new seronversns, some AIDS tors have begun to acknowledge that, unlikely though may seem, remag HIV-negative fact pos signifint psychologil challeng to gay men" (p. To those who have not been workg the gay men's muny for the past 25 years, this statement might seem absurd, but is te that HIV-negative gay men face unique challeng that make seem almost easier to seronvert.

DREAM OF BEG GAY: 53 +MEANGS AND INTERPRETATNS

When I first beme burned to ph back agast gay activism 2004, I immediately began to read the stori of gay activists, gay pastors, and others. That’s bee I wanted to have a heart for the people as opposed to simply standg up to the activism. And the more I read the stori of the people volved and the more I sat and talked wh them face to face, the more * loving gay meaning *

San Francis Bay area psychologist Walt Ots (1995) was one of the first mental health profsnals to qutn why gay men who had th far ped beg fected wh HIV were placg themselv at risk for beg so.

Ots scribed HIV-negative men who stggled a world and gay muny that, however untentnally, nsired their difficulti nsequential as pared to those of men who were fightg for their liv.

Some have suggted that durg the '80s, gay men unnscly llud wh the general public's equatn of a gay inty wh an AIDS inty (Ots, 1995; Rof, 1996). New York social worker Steve Ball (1998) scrib how durg the height of the AIDS epimic HIV-negative gay men often found themselv the role of regiver, mourner/widower, or outsir, due to their not beg fected wh HIV. Gay men who were recently surveyed about their failure to e ndoms durg anal sex repeatedly told rearchers that current AIDS preventn msag do not feel relevant to them and do not nvey an urgency about why ndom e is important (Halkis, Parsons, & Wilton, 2003; Carballo-Dieguez & L, 2003; Mor et al., 2003).

LOVG GAY PEOPLE WHILE REJECTG GAY ACTIVISM: REFLECTNS ON THE MEANG OF STONEWALL

Tell that special someone how you feel wh the spirg gay love quot about relatnships, romance, and that feelg you get when you're together. * loving gay meaning *

Brish psychologist and rearcher Michelle Crossley (2001, 2002) wr that one factor might be a crease the effectivens of the "health promotn" mpaign to change gay men's sexual behavr. Crossley suggts that is impossible to evaluate the efficy of safer-sex msag and of themselv sce ncurrent to when they first began appearg, gay men were overwhelmed by the terror that they might be fected by the then-new disease that was rapidly killg their iends and lovers.

They reported beg thrilled to be able to participate a procs that helped them reclaim the joy and fun of gay sex amidst all of the sex-negativy and sex-equalg-ath msag that were undatg them. As psychologist and former rearcher at the CDC Ron Stall was quoted as sayg an article the Manhattan gay newspaper Gay Cy News, "There are studi that monstrate a variety of psychosocial health issu, cludg prsn, antigay vlence, childhood sexual abe, or substance abe, n lead gay men to have unsafe sex" (Stall, quoted Osborne, 2002, p. In my own practice, I have intified several factors that appear to lead to sexual risk-takg: lonels, beg HIV-posive, havg unmet timacy needs, feelg alienated om the gay muny, beg love, and a cravg for eper timacy and tst.

In Toby's se, his barebackg was not related to a sire to feel closer to a beloved partner but rather his sire to nnect sexually and socially wh other gay men and to feel unhibed and ee. Even when gay men posss a sophistited unrstandg of how HIV is transmted and accurate perceptns of how dangero risky sex n be, many gay men unrtimate their vulnerabily to HIV fectn (McKick, Horstman, & Coat, 1985; Bman & Siegel, 1987; Richard et al., 1988). Suarez and Miller (2001) feel that many gay youth who bareback fall to the tegory of irratnal risk takers sce they may have never known anyone wh HIV and hold psimistic attus about the future largely related to their beg gay.

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Pkerton and Abramson offer possible explanatns for the tenncy to unrtimate the personal risk associated wh risky sex, even among "high-risk" gay men.

To the average gay man, 's those gay men who are overly promiscuo; and to the bath hoe participants, 's those who aren't reful" (Pkerton & Abramson, pp.

Many gay men are articulate about how thrillg and timate is to the feel of the warmth of a lover's unsheathed penis and the smooth stimulatn of sk agast sk. As prevly discsed, recreatnal sex has been intified by at least certa segments of the gay male muny as a means of personal fulfillment and an exprsn of enhanced eedom and self-teem. A gay man who wants to feel liberated, hot, or sexy might view sex whout ndoms as the bt route to fulfillg his sire to feel any of those ways.

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Schroth (1996) also monstrated that a sample of gay men he studied there was a strong rrelatn between sensatn-seekg and high number of sexual activi and high number of partners. As evince, they pot to the plethora of personal ads on Web s voted exclively to barebackg as well as on Web s where gay men cise for sex where men state their own HIV stat and the sired stat of potential partners.

Vcke and lleagu (2001) found that "the rporatn of semen is an important value for many gay cultur, a means of showg votn, belongg, and onens. The many levels of meang and special signifince that givg and receivg of semen has for gay men nnot be unrtimated as a ntributg factor to the rise barebackg -- pecially romantic upl, as will be examed Sectn 2 of this book. In ntrast to the rearchers above who have shown that for some gay men barebackg is a ratnal activy, there are social scientists who have tried to terme whether men who bareback have a documented higher level of mental disorrs than do men who do not take sexual risks.

GAY

Rearch by Halkis and Wilton (2005) on the meangs of sex for HIV-posive gay and bisexual men found that of the 250 men terviewed, most discsed the role of sex as a mood stabilizer, strs rcer, and facilator of timacy. Though Halkis and Wilton were only reportg on HIV-posive men, my clil experience shows that most gay men, no matter their HIV stat, would ncur. Coat also pots out that there is now rearch that seeks to explore what the relatnship might be between prsn, prsive symptoms, and gay men takg sexual risks.

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