Could gay guys be the ultimate wg men for their straight, male iends?
Contents:
- GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
- MEETG YOUR FIRST GAY FRIEND
- HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI
- GAY IEND
- HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
- CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
I have a gay iend (lets ll him Friend 1) and h always tegorizg our iend group by the energy we all seem to give off. For example, I have a guy iend who giv off gay energy and Friend 1 is always sistg that h gay (teasgly) bee thats the energy he giv off by his persona... * gay friend energy *
For a long time, iendships between gay men and straight men – what some now ll “bromosexual” iendships – were unmon. Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much mon wh gay men.
Specifilly, we’re terted lookg at the reasons gay men and straight men bee iends (or rema iends after the gay iend out).
MEETG YOUR FIRST GAY FRIEND
* gay friend energy *
We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another.
Many straight men hated to beiend gay men, fearg harassment, rejectn om their straight iends or beg lled gay. The growg acceptance of homosexualy, however, has allayed some of the fears. Gay men – particularly those nservative and ral environments – rema wary about tryg to beiend straight men, fearg prejudice-fueled rejectn.
HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI
Heterosexual and gay men n heal and grow as a rult of their iendships. * gay friend energy *
At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men any meangful way and, for this reason, may not try to iate a iendship.
Of urse, the tradnal notn that gay men and straight men nnot be close iends is herently homophobic and unte. We propose gay-straight male iendships are not only possible, but that they n grow to be extremely rewardg.
If they’re open-md about beiendg gay men and make the effort to try to fe iendships based upon mon terts, gay men should feel more fortable reciprotg. So which straight men are the most likely to beiend gay men, and vice versa?
GAY IEND
An sult, although not meant to disparage actual gay people. It is a pheneomenon which a heterosexual man unsuccsfully attempts to woo a woman and wds up beg an timate but wholly platonic iend stead. The man naively believ that if he jt sticks around long enough, and shows the woman his scery, a romantic relatnship will eventually velop. In actualy, this will never, ever happen. Hence the man is the "-facto gay iend." One n also be a "post-relatnship gay iend." In this suatn, a romantic relatnship ends, but the woman says, "let's be iends; I still want you to be my bt iend." The man, somewhat pathetilly, agre to this proposal bee of nfn, wardice, or simple foolishns." name="Dcriptn" property="og:scriptn * gay friend energy *
Gay men who disclose their sexual orientatn to their straight male iends earlier life may be able to build more open and hont iendships wh them to adulthood.
Send, recent rearch has argued that genr and sexual orientatn might not be as black and whe as prevly thought, which opens up new avenu for explorg how gay and straight men n relate to one another. If a straight guy and his gay male iend are ls rigid about their masculy and sexualy, they’ll probably be more likely to discs tails about their sexual and romantic liv openly wh one another. Recent rearch has suggted that advice sharg uld be a ccial reason that straight women seek out gay men as iends.
HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
New rearch explor the benefs of iendship between gay and straight men. * gay friend energy *
In short, women are able to tst the datg advice om gay male iends bee they know their gay iends don’t have any ulterr motiv: They’re not tryg to hook up wh them or pete wh them for guys. We believe that this same sort of unbiased advice sharg might also foster iendships between gay and straight men. Bee of the tst they engenr om straight women, gay men are uniquely posned to be excellent “wg men” for sgle straight men.
However, straight women do tend to tst the datg advice of gay men (pecially more than advice om straight men or women). Acrdgly, straight men uld get a leg up datg om beg close iends wh gay men. For example, a gay iend uld vouch for his straight iend’s good tentns to women.
Straight men who are fortable wh their sexualy may also act as wg men for gay male iends.
CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
Jt as a gay man might be able to pass on advice about women to his straight iend, a straight man uld nnect his gay male iend wh another sirable gay man, sce neher the gay man nor his straight iend are petg for the same person. We believe that havg a tstworthy nfidant to help wh romantic pursus is one of the major reasons straight and gay men are leavg the fort of their same-sex, same-orientatn iend groups to form “bromosexual” iendships. I’ll never fet beg 15 years old and walkg to my first ever meetg for lbian, gay, bi, queer, and trans youth at BAGLY Boston.
”) The close queer iends we make bee a chosen fay, wh a shared culture and inty, formg the bonds that are sential to our wellns and as gay bars and bookstor are closg left and right, many of have turned to apps to fill that gap, meang we spend more time than ever alone our rooms. LGBT2Q people exist all genrs, all cultur, and relyg on your gaydar is a good start, but expandg your queer and trans cultural referenc will boost your abili.
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
Instagram and Twter make easier to fd other people wh the same terts, whether ’s hedgehogs or aerosol art, and there are so many homo-tastic hashtags. Try #QueerStyle, #BlackTransExcellence, #QueerFemme, #LbianMem, #BiLove, #GenrEuphoria, #Gaysian, #LGBTTikTok.
Or, add your inty to your state, school, or profsn to fd #GayMichigan or #QueerMorehoe or #TransUtah or #PansexualUK and more. That may be surprisg news if you’ve been raised a homophobic branch of your relig tradn, but I promise you—they’re out there, and they n’t wa to wele you (and you may fd really healg to brg your whole self to your fah tradn). Here are some lks to lists of affirmg (that’s the relig buzzword for “we like the gays here”) anizatns:.
Check out Unlikely Hikers, which specifilly wel and celebrat people who don’t f the classic Patagonia profile cludg fat folks and hikers of lour; Venture Out Project, which is n by and explicly wel trans people; Gay SCUBA Week and Queer Paddlers; and basilly what I’m sayg is that if you want to be out and Out there are fely other ‘mos to do wh your area. If you’re newly sober or revery and tryg to avoid plac, people, or patterns that may not be healthy for you right now, a gay AA or other revery meetg might be a double-w for you: support on your path and a boost for your new social life. (Mis)e hookup apps wh gay be clear, a happy, healthy, nsentg hookup is a thg of bety.