Kev Maxen, Jaguars assistant strength ach, out as gay

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The credible "all-gay" Mederranean Atlantis cise helped me realize how much energy I spend beg myself a heteronormative world.

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I WENT ON A 10-DAY CISE WH 4,000 OTHER GAY MEN. I CRIED FOR DAYS AFTER END, AND I N'T WA TO GO BACK.

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) But if you are one of the gay/bi men out there, like many of , who don't get that same sh om Grdr that you do om furtive eye glanc the sna -- which turn to so much more -- then this article is for you: the 5 do's and 5 don'ts of gay cisg.

At the end of the fal, dis-themed dance on my 10-day "all-gay" cise, I met up wh a man I'd shared a few timate moments wh. In 2021, I raid my savgs acunt and spent $3, 059 to book an "all-gay" cise around the dancg troupe nvced me to buy the ticket, which was for 10 days on the Royal Caribbean's Odyssey of the Seas.

WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE GAY … MOROC?

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The special 2022 Atlantis sailg would be filled wh about 4, 000 gay people, the majory of them my life warned me to manage my expectatns.

I also received negative reactns om my gay iends — some said they uldn't thk of anythg worse than an "all-gay" cise. Others add a lghg emoji each time they msaged about , as if the choice self was ludicro or exclively beg around gay people was crgeworthy and embarrassg. I now know that, until you've been on one of the cis, you really have no ia what happens on day one, I was havg the time of my life — we'd created our own floatg universe As our ship set sail om Rome, dawned on me that I'd never been around this many gay men before.

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It mands rtrat to not absorb microaggrsns, but to stead allow them to fuel my day, I mt stand firm and ph agast nventns and benchmarks of the heteronormative world that many gay men like myself choose to reject. For those who heard about the se of Ray Cole—a Brish tourist arrted last year Marrakech, Moroc, on spicn of mtg “homosexual acts” and sentenced to four months’ hard time a Morocn jail prr to his early release— is perhaps difficult to image that Moroc was somethg of a gay paradise for whe men of standg the aftermath of World War II.

Somethg of the gay scene moved to Marrakech, but suffice to say, is far removed om Tangier’s heyday and very much nfed to the margs. Gay life tak place the pths of certa hammams (Turkish baths) and the back rows of cemas, if people happen to know the right spots; needls to say, cisg plays an important role.

There are no gay bars, but a mix of gay and straight patrons n be found clubs that ter primarily to Wterners.

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Seen this light, the se of Ray Cole n be said to be another part of the story of the wherg away of gay life Moroc, or at the very least, the end of turng of a bld eye to . But what is more signifint about Cole’s se is that monstrat the te realy for gay men Moroc, namely, that while the laws on homosexualy are enforced nsistently, there is evintly a double standard employed their applitn. The lerature available to potential gay travelers to Moroc—of which there is a great al sce, spe of laws and social norms there, Moroc remas a prime statn for package holiday-goers om Bra, France, and Germany—is very clear settg out what is and isn’t acceptable.

I WENT ON MY FIRST GAY CISE — HERE'S WHAT IT WAS LIKE

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Gay upl should rea om public displays of affectn and would be advised to seek out hotels and riads (a tradnal hoe wh an terr urtyard) known to be gay-iendly.

The scen of Cole’s fay greetg him at Bra’s Gatwick Airport ntrast starkly wh how gay men are treated Morocn society: looked down upon, rejected by their fai, dismissed wh the Maghrebi Arabic slur zamel. “More than [Cole’s] own se, what happened to him shows how vulnerable gay Morocns are, ”Abllah Taïa, a Morocn wrer and filmmaker who now liv exile, wrote The Guardian, “They are at the mercy of anyone. ” To the qutn of what is like to be gay Moroc, then, the answer very much means one thg to a Wtern visor and que another to Morocn natnals, who are nsired by their society and their state to be of lser value.

The term – a phemism that dat back to the 1950s – was once ed to dite gay social events on daily cise le programs, whout explicly llg out members of the muny on board. As travel on the high seas ntu to bounce back om the COVID-19 panmic, gay and lbian travelers should nsir settg sail on a fun-filled cise vatn as their next planng a cise, vatners should first nsir what their ial sailg looks like.

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Some cise operators (thk: Atlantis Events and La Demence) are known for their electrifyg, all-night parti, which may be perfect for gay groups of iends. Cisers should also thk about whether they'd like to travel aboard a gay-iendly mastream le, such as Celebry Cis or Virg Voyag, or opt for an all-gay, full-ship charter wh a third-party vatn pany. Of VACAYA's all-gay charters, he says, "For one magil week, our muny gets to be the majory and live life out loud the blissful utopia VACAYA creat on a gay cise.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND

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This le gets the stamp of approval om prev LGBTQ cisers, who praise the ships' genr-ntral bathrooms, onboard shows wh rint drag queens and diverse Voyag offers gay-specific sailgs through travel pani like Atlantis Events, but s more mastream erari still offer a welg, clive atmosphere that attracts LGBTQ cisers year-round.

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Atlantis EventsThe world's largt gay and lbian travel brand, Atlantis Events was found 1991 and wel more than 20, 000 travelers annually on LGBTQ vatns. For s all-gay cis, Atlantis charters megaships om popular l like Royal Caribbean Internatnal and Norwegian Cise Le, so cisers will have a fully immersive board, travelers n enjoy all the perks the megaships have to offer (thk: pools, hot tubs, sports urts and plenty of dg choic), pl special events like drag performanc, motivatnal speakers, LGBTQ movi on mand each b and high-energy circu parti across the ship.

"As an LGBTQ ciser, you're lookg for a ship wh lots of entertament, cludg dance parti and events, " says Mars Martez, founr of Men Who Bnch, a Black gay liftyle blog. "One of the bt cise [l] for gay cisg is Atlantis, sce you'll be able to meet hundreds of attractive men and party all day and night on the ship.

HUMAN RIGHTS WATCH: ANTI-GAY LAWS PROMOTE VLENCE, DISCRIMATN ST. VCENT

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Cisers will also enjoy performanc by drag queens, gay Broadway stars and more, pl more typil river cise perks like sightseeg and lavish meals.

Celebry Cis(Courty of Celebry Cis)Celebry Cis sets the scene for an excellent vatn for gay travelers, om s extravagant annual Pri parti to s daily LGBTQ programmg throughout the year. Although all erari are gay-iendly, nsir bookg a Pri Party at Sea sailg (which tak place each June) for an extra special experience. Private travel pani like VACAYA also charter Celebry ships for all-gay voyag throughout the (Getty Imag)Specifilly marketed toward lbians and LGBTQ women, Olivia has hosted more than 350, 000 travelers by land and sea over almost five s.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS ASSISTANT STRENGTH ACH KEV MAXEN OUT PUBLICLY AS GAY

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The popular cise le equently partners wh Atlantis Events to offer all-gay voyag throughout the year, but even the standard sailgs earn praise.

Outsi of the sailg experience, Royal Caribbean has also publicly mted to support the LGBTQ muny throughout the year, and was the first cise le to earn the tle "Gay Traveler Approved" om GayTravel 2023, nsir a Royal Caribbean voyage that sails to gay-iendly statns. ]The Cise Wh La Demence(Courty of The Cise wh La Demence)Acrdg to past cisers, if you're lookg for one of the bt party scen on the open seas, nsir an all-gay cise wh La Demence. Powered by a popular gay nightclub Bssels wh the same name, La Demence – French for "the madns" – primarily ters to a European crowd.

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Prev cisers had high praise for the erari – which exclively vis gay-iendly lotns – as well as the uy cktails, themed nights (stum strongly enuraged), glamouro entertament, and unique events like drag bgo and high heel Demence sails every summer to statns like Rome; Athens and Mykonos, Greece; Kotor, Montenegro; Dubrovnik, Croatia; and more.

I've always been secure about my weight, and if the marketg strategy for an LGBTQ+ cise, vatn, or tour pany don't clu me or make me feel seen — as a chubby Black gay man — I avoid .

GAY NASHVILLE

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But when I was offered the opportuny to sail wh Vaya, I asked a few iends about their gay cise experienc — specifilly, about the pany's chartered sailgs and rort vatns.

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I met several people, cludg Ken, who drove 12 hours om Chattanooga, Tennsee, to go on his first gay cise; Eric and his partner, Jason, om Taa, Washgton, who chatted about how they met, Jason's "g out" story, and his amible divorce om his ex-wife; and Osr, a passenger om L. I disvered that a gay cise allows to be fully ourselv a rpectful environment, rng wh old iends om prev cis and cultivatg new iendships that go beyond our seven-day journey. Celebry's safety protols and Vaya's attentn to tail, transparency, and clive vibe and strategy are all reasons why I was able to enjoy my first gay cise and return home COVID-ee.

However, ’s important to remember that Istanbul is pal of an Islamic untry; for all s liberal aspects, Turkey is chg s way closer to Middle Eastern valu daily, and this is havg a knock-on effect on LGBT rights Istanbul that gay travelers to the area should take to nsiratn. Homosexualy is not illegal Turkey: between adults, same-sex sexual activy was ma legal the Ottoman Empire 1858, and sce morn Turkey’s foundatn 1923 has always been legal. However, there are some rather ambiguo bans the crimal on “offens agast public moraly” which n be terpreted agast LGBT people and homosexuals are banned om ary service.

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Currently, there are no anti-discrimatn laws Turkey that protect LGBT people om discrimatn the public sphere or employment, although opposn parti have tried to troduce bills providg legal protectn for gay and transgenr people. A report published by Human Rights Watch 2008 outled the daily threat of vlence and discrimatn faced by gay and transgenr people, wh sufficient reactn om police and the thori. The social suatn for members of the gay muny is better smopolan Istanbul than ral areas but whether or not people feel fortable g out to their fay and iends is extremely ntext-pennt and still pos a number of risks.

Istanbul has a fairly thrivg gay scene, wh pulsg dance floors, gay bars, and hamams; but many lols who participate are livg a double life, beg unable to be open wh their fai or at work for fear of the negative impact uld have on their future. The shift towards nservatism Turkey as a whole do not bo well, but Istanbul’s long-tablished liberal character uld hold firm agast a risg ti of anti-gay feelg and hopefully ph that ti back.

Generally speakg LGBT rights Istanbul are fairly well-tablished and is a very gay-iendly cy, although most of the gay life happens doors or at night. For the most part, gay travelers should feel fortable venturg all over the cy and not let any fear lim their adventur. Trendy Beyoğlu is also at the foreont of liberal enclav, and gay travelers will feel pletely fortable hangg around there.

GAY KANSAS CY

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As wh most plac the world, gay upl or sgle gay travelers hopg to meet people should not n to any problems if stayg ternatnal, upsle hotels.

GAY HOTON

Otherwise, Istanbul offers a range of queer-iendly hotels and hostels, maly the areas mentned above – the gay quarter of Taksim, or Beyoğlu. Asi om the wealth of historic and cultural sights, there is a relatively thrivg gay scene Istanbul wh plenty of bars, clubs, f, and rtrants to choose om. There is also a range of hamams, but as a tradnal Turkish experience they are equented by everyone, so travelers should not assume they are specifilly gay foced.

In fact, the current climate, snas and hamams will actively avoid beg labeled as ‘gay-iendly, ’ so is better jt to enjoy the as cultural experienc unls you are wh someone the know. Gettg to know people is one of the bt thgs about travelg and that’s particularly important a place like Istanbul, where the gay scene is not always ‘ your face. ’ Headg to Taksim or Beyoğlu to start a night out a gay bar is a good way to get chattg to lols and then plan your night om there.

Compared to almost everywhere else the Middle East (Tel Aviv asi), Istanbul is one of the most liberal ci gay travelers n vis. There will fely be opportuni for partyg and fun, as well as seeg the glori the cy has to offer; the gay scene feels like a muny.

GAY SAN ANTON

Overt displays of affectn will be unwele (for gay and straight upl), and some areas might be better to avoid. Filmg is long done, but the reason for the actor's exhstn is beg Hom Holland cisg a gay bar the crowd roomHom holland cisg a gay bar and takg bbc the crowd roomMARCA ENGLISHIn the show, Holland plays a young man arrted on spicn of mtg a chillg crime.

The film won’t say , but a post-creds punchle about Ken’s handwrg, plete wh hearts and stars surroundg his name, tells what we need to heavily implied nature of Ken’s gayns Toy Story 3 harkens back to Hollywood’s tradnal gay bt iend-type characters.

In the Hays Co era, explic referenc to homosexualy weren’t allowed, so characters like Van Buren (Frankl Pangborn) 1937’s Easy Livg, Kip (David Wayne) 1949’s Adam’s Rib, or Addison (Gee Sanrs) 1950’s All About Eve stead were imbued wh effemate characteristics, offerg a glimpse outsi of heteronormativy whout explicly beg of the characters were the same—some were tty, others sweet. Des later, 2010, the gay bt iend was all the rage; Teen Vogue even went so far as to proclaim the GBF as the summer’s mt-have accsory.

GAY MADRID

In movi like Mean Girls (2004), The Devil Wears Prada (2006), Easy A (2010), No Strgs Attached (2011), and Isn’t It Romantic (2019), gay iends exist entirely the orb of their female iends. ” But Barbie do, and for Ken, that’s are plenty of reasons why the film wouldn’t outrightly state that Ken is homosexual. Mattel, of urse, vehemently nied any claims that Ken was gay, let alone that he had somethg as prepostero as a ck rg around his neck.

As a rult, gay men bought the doll drov, and spe Mattel ultimately rellg the doll and wipg away any trace of Earrg Magic Ken, was near-impossible to see Ken as anythg but the glor homosexual he was born to be om then on. Though Mattel don’t seem to be willg to say Ken is actually gay, the Ken dolls of recent years seem to really lean to Ken’s queerns. While there is no way to “drs gay, ” there are several dolls that seem to suggt otherwise, such as:Fashnista Ken #193, who looks very exced to tell you about his new obssn, Troye Sivan;Travel Ken Doll, who has a satchel perfect for bathho and a purple overnight bag that lerally proclaims he’s “extra;”Ken Looks Doll, servg “I’m gonna give you a makeover”-type realns while sportg black pleather pants;This Ken, who wears the least heterosexual double nim I have a feelg the new Barbie movie will put the work to nvce that Ken is a hetero du who lov nothg life more than Barbie herself, the wrg’s already on the wall: Ken is, and always will be, Barbie’s gay bt obssg!

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Vcent to overturn anti-gay laws om the lonial era that have led to a recent wave of vlence and genr discrimatn on the small Caribbean island. Homosexualy ntu to be crimalized the former Brish lony after many hundreds of years, leavg LGBTQ dividuals wh ltle if any legal protectns while vlent crim were beg mted wh impuny, the report said.

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Standg crimal s on the island put nsensual gay sex the same tegory as crim like rape, ct, and sexual asslt, although there have been no recent nvictns unr the law. Gay people have been targeted by fay members, neighbors, -workers, classmat and teachers -- as well as police officers, the report said. In many of the episos, police allegedly refed to offer assistance, and some s beme openly discrimatory toward gay victims.

Many of the terviewe said job hirgs and firgs were beg largely termed by sexual orientatn, while other gay people lucky to have jobs faced sexual harassment the workplace. "The crimalizatn of gay sex giv tac state sanctn to the discrimatn and vlence that LGBT people experience their daily liv and pels many to look abroad to live eely and fulfill their dreams, " said Cristian González Cabrera, gay rights rearcher at Human Rights Watch. Six other Wtern natns -- cludg Domi, Grenada, Guyana, Jamai, and Sat Lucia -- ntue to crimalize gay sex, wh penalti as weighty as a prison for "gross cency wh another person of the same sex.

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