What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
• PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS
• NAVIGATG BORRLE PERSONALY DISORR AS A GAY MAN
• 15 STEREOTYP THAT LIM OUR PERCEPTNS OF GAY MEN
• THE SCIENCE OF GAYDAR
• REPORTED EFFECTS OF MASCULE IALS ON GAY MEN
• THE RELATNSHIP BETWEEN TERURSE PREFERENCE POSNS AND PERSONALY TRAS AMONG GAY MEN CHA
• THE ROLE OF MACHISMO PREJUDICE TOWARD LBIANS AND GAY MEN: PERSONALY TRAS AS MORATORS

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard. How do a gay kid survive the trma he suffers for beg different a culture that still nmns his difference as somethg bad or “ls-than” and wants to mold him to the same shape tri to mold every boy? Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected.

Fortunately there is a long history of gay men who bucked the accepted fns of masculy and created liv that exprsed their unrstandg of themselv and how they choose to exprs their inty as men who don’t necsarily f tradnal molds. The late Harry Hay often lled "the father of the morn gay movement, " found the Mattache Society Los Angel the fall of 1950 for gay men to gather and ponr the qutns Hay had long been askg: Who are gay people?

Hay didn’t tend the Mattach to be a polil anizatn per se, but a group that would e together to enhance their self-unrstandg and explore the ntributns gay people had ma to the human race through the ag.

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

In a 1987 say tled “A Separate People Whose Time Has Come, ” Hay scribed homosexuals as “spir people, ” who, throughout the ag, had served society their rol as “msengers and tercers, shamans of both genrs, prits and prits, imagemakers and prophets, mim and rhapsos, poets and playwrights, healers and nurturers, teachers and preachers, tkers and tkerers, searchers and rearchers. He said gay men look at the world differently, are uniquely nonaggrsive, nonpetive, oriented toward sharg and cled to velop what Hay lled “subject-subject” love relatnships of equals. While qualative data document such self-intifiers as mascule-actg gay men who weigh more and have more body hair, there has to date been no quantative analysis of this group’s characteristics.

Keywords: Bears, Gay Culture, Gay and Bisexual Men, Self-teem, Masculy, ObyINTRODUCTIONThe gay muny is ultimately a heterogeneo one wh many subgroups and subcultur—one of the monali among them beg the sire to have same-sex enunters. Bee there is a arth of general rearch regardg this muny, and no studi to date that e quantative methods, we cid to explore this muny quantatively—g an Inter-nvenience sample, followed by a purposive suggted, the Bear culture exhibs and valu a greater sense of domant (but not necsarily domeerg) “thentic masculy” parison to other subcultur wh the gay muny (e.

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

In rponse and ntrast wh Leathermen, Bears mata their mascule inty whout adoptg negative hypermascule tennci to acmodate all partners, spe their size or body is some theoretil support for why the Bear inty spltered om the gay male mastream culture.

NAVIGATG BORRLE PERSONALY DISORR AS A GAY MAN

G., twks, partyboys, A-listers) that are anthetil to, and even antagonistic towards Bears, men who are hairier and heavier exist and adopt an inty to afont the stereotypil “alpha” gay male.

15 STEREOTYP THAT LIM OUR PERCEPTNS OF GAY MEN

Popular culture, the media, and Wtern hetero- and homosexual expectatns have normalized the ial male body as one that is lean, mcular, and v-shaped (wh broad shoulrs, a narrow waist, and a flat but well-fed stomach) (Olivardia, Pope, Borowiecki, & Cohane, 2000). G., poor self-image/self-teem) velop both heterosexual and homosexual men exhibg ls sirable physil tras (Beren, Hayn, Wilfley, & Grilo, 1996; Morrison, Morrison, & Sager, 2004; Pepl et al., 2009; Weer, 2009; Yelland & Tiggemann, 2003). However, where mastream gay men report wantg partners wh those prevly stated, admired or revered characteristics (Moskowz, Rieger, & Seal, 2009), Bears may not (Manley et al., 2007).

Whereas mastream gay men often do not engage sired or preferred sexual behavrs bee of fears of rejectn or judgment (Kamski, Chapman, Hayn, & Own, 2004), those the more acceptg Bear muny reject the fears due to their beg ultimately “feme” nature (Hennen, 2005). G., uratn, fistg, voyrism, exhibnism) (Grov, Parsons, & Bimbi, 2010) to the active existence of the Bear muny and regnn of this subculture by the larger gay/bisexual male culture, more rearch is need to explore the gree to which the prevly mentned physil, behavral, and psychologil differenc actually exist.

In explorg the smaller subcultur of the larger gay/bisexual male culture, soclogy, psychology, and even public health n better expla and addrs the needs of men wh same-sex attractns. Specifilly, our first study was more exploratory and foced on the physil tras, partner selectn, and rejectn creria of gay men (wh which we llected enough Bears for analys). A total of 531 men answered the 2: IML/PriFt Study Procr For the send study, data were llected g an anonymo survey admistered at two pennt gay events May and June 2008: the Internatnal Mr.

THE SCIENCE OF GAYDAR

Consirg the likely prevalence of a Bear inty may be held (wh varyg tenaci) by about 14–22% of gay men, the rults provi addnal evince for the manift and latent heterogeney of gay and bisexual rults regardg body tras and partner selectn nfirm, for the first time a systematic manner, fdgs documented prev terview and ethnographic studi.

To be able to take a fist or urate on another man may be how the men exemplify their form of masculy—particularly a sexual climate where most gay men do not want to, nnot, or will not enact the behavrs. Regardls of the potential explanatn, Bears appear to be more sexually diverse and explorative than mastream gay and bisexual rults documented lower self-teem, which ntradicted both our hypothis and others’ terview rearch (e.

Simply, to the Bear culture and reactn to mastream gay men, Bears may self-prent as feelg good; however, ternally, they may wish that they had those normative ialized bety tras.

REPORTED EFFECTS OF MASCULE IALS ON GAY MEN

In this rpect, Bears may overtimate and overstate re towards partners to self-prent as beg distct om men adherg to the mastream gay culture (which are often stereotyped as treatg partners as disposable) (Isay, 2009). A portra emerg om the Bear rults that supports a theory for why the gay muny ultimately is so heterogeneo (and th produc the high gree of spoff subcultur): Cultur facilate succsful same-sex enunters. As Bears are not vastly different towards their sexual partners than mastream gay men, the culture veloped to ensure that even the heavit, hairit, and/or shortt dividual uld partner.

THE RELATNSHIP BETWEEN TERURSE PREFERENCE POSNS AND PERSONALY TRAS AMONG GAY MEN CHA

Whether the ems are applible to gay men, bisexuals, or men qutng their sexualy remas rpect to methods, the parabily of sampl may be somewhat uncerta, as one was llected through ter surveyg and the other, through paper survey. A study that answers the rearch qutns would provi further evince to support the heterogeney hypothis: Not only is the mastream gay muny culturally heterogeneo, but so are the sexual health behavrs and problems wh last suggtn for future rearch would be to tt some of the theori generated by the current data.

THE ROLE OF MACHISMO PREJUDICE TOWARD LBIANS AND GAY MEN: PERSONALY TRAS AS MORATORS

Future studi are need to ntribute more ncrete nclu, rearch such as ours nsistently fds creased evince that the gay muny should not be treated as one divisible block. Future rearchers should wonr what other ways nformg or not nformg to gay norms, stereotyp, and the larger heterosexual culture impacts dividuals and their self-inti. The largt difference between homosexual and heterosexual dividuals was openns to experience, wh homosexuals beg more open to experience than heterosexuals, on average.

" This hypothis suggts lbians have an creased likelihood of remblg the typil heterosexual man terms of personaly, while gay men's personaly tras are relatively likely to remble those of the typil heterosexual woman. To be clear, even though the personaly tras of gay and lbian dividuals dite shifts, acrdg to the theory, do not follow that gay men are jt ‘‘like women’’ and lbians are jt ‘‘like men. The relatn between sexual orientatn and personaly was examed a meta-analysis wh a total sample of 2, 724 heterosexual men, 799 gay men, 157 bisexual men, 5, 053 heterosexual women, 697 lbian women, and 317 bisexual women.