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Jaguars assistant Kev Maxen has bee the first male ach major Amerin men's pro sports to publicly e out as gay, tellg he ma the cisn bee he didn't want to hi who he is any longer.

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5% of Amerins intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual, while 0. The most mon Gay email format is.

of Gay employe. So many gay men grow up believg there is somethg “wrong” wh bee we are different om other supposedly “normal” mal.

It’s not surprisg that a term like “straight-actg” shows up so often gay men’s onle personal ads. It prumably means the advertiser nsirs himself a “real” man—real, that is, acrdg to a standard of masculy he don’t attribute to other gay men.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

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So many gay men learn we are different om other boys by havg the fact poted out and ridiculed by bulli durg our young, most imprsnable, years.

AS A GAY MAN, I’LL NEVER BE NORMAL

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As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard. How do a gay kid survive the trma he suffers for beg different a culture that still nmns his difference as somethg bad or “ls-than” and wants to mold him to the same shape tri to mold every boy?

Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected. He needs to know that ’s okay not only to be gay if that's what he is, but to be a man who choos what beg a man means for himself. Fortunately there is a long history of gay men who bucked the accepted fns of masculy and created liv that exprsed their unrstandg of themselv and how they choose to exprs their inty as men who don’t necsarily f tradnal molds.

The late Harry Hay often lled "the father of the morn gay movement, " found the Mattache Society Los Angel the fall of 1950 for gay men to gather and ponr the qutns Hay had long been askg: Who are gay people?

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Where do gay people e om?

Where have gays been throughout history?

Hay didn’t tend the Mattach to be a polil anizatn per se, but a group that would e together to enhance their self-unrstandg and explore the ntributns gay people had ma to the human race through the ag.

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In a 1987 say tled “A Separate People Whose Time Has Come, ” Hay scribed homosexuals as “spir people, ” who, throughout the ag, had served society their rol as “msengers and tercers, shamans of both genrs, prits and prits, imagemakers and prophets, mim and rhapsos, poets and playwrights, healers and nurturers, teachers and preachers, tkers and tkerers, searchers and rearchers.

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Hay believed that gay people had somethg special to teach nongay people about human life, and for that reason should be nurtured, rather than reviled, by society.

He postulated that “gay people reprent a geic mutatn of nscns whose active fosterg is now required for human survival. Hay believed that gay men are different om heterosexuals and that those differenc go much eper than mere sexual attractn to other men. He said gay men look at the world differently, are uniquely nonaggrsive, nonpetive, oriented toward sharg and cled to velop what Hay lled “subject-subject” love relatnships of equals.

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In a 1990 terview for the Washgton Bla, Harry Hay told me our llg as gay men “is not only to accept our uniquens, but to affirm , make joyo. For gay men, learng to accept our “different” sexual orientatn as a posive aspect of ourselv is only part of our “g out.

Every norm everywhere all at as a gay man, I celebrate an nvenient tth of Pri Month: We’ll never be normal. That majory asi, when we discs self-intifyg gay men, lbians, asexuals, pansexuals, two-spir, nonbary and transgenr folks, ’s jt roughly 3 percent of the populatn.

Heterosexuals make up a greater percentage of the untry than whe people do on the Supreme ask everyday Amerins to gus at jt the gay and lbian populatn, and Gallup shows they nsistently overtimate. A majory of the untry thks that at least 20 percent of Amerins — at least one five of — are gay or lbian. Every remr of my different path ma me yearn for a fettable broar, blanr mastream sir thenticy foreign cuise or subtled foreign streamg shows, but mands sad homogenizatn of the forever foreign nature of queerns.

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And I realized how different is to be gay , say, Havana or the Bronx. Beg normal is a lie people tell themselv to ver up the realy that they are merely how few number we are, ’s a lerally unpopular thg to say but I am gay. My Gay Hoton: Monthly newsletter featurg LGBT sir's guis, current hotspots & trends.

|Intifyg as Gay. Gay dividuals are romantilly or sexually attracted to people who are the same genr as them.

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If you’re more aroed by people who are the same genr as you, you might be gay.

Keep md that experienc of sexual aroal are extremely nuanced, and aren’t ncrete proof that you’re gay. For stance, you n be aroed by gay adult media whout necsarily beg gay yourself.

If you tend to velop csh on people who are the same genr as you, uld be a sign that you’re gay. You n be gay even if you’ve had straight relatnships the past. If you felt unfortable wh physil ntact wh each girl, you may be gay.

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