Gay Men and Their Fathers: Hurt and Healg | Psychology Today Canada

sons of gay fathers

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GAY FATHER AND SON STOCK PHOTOS AND IMAG

* sons of gay fathers *

Parents of gay children may be shocked when their kids e out of the closet, but once the dt settl, most parents realize that their child is the same one they have loved and red for all their liv, they jt happen to be gay.

VIDEO: HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! DADS WH THEIR GAY CHILDREN

Parents of gay children may go through an adjtment perd when they fd out their child is gay, but there is support for parents of gay children. * sons of gay fathers *

So, for example, boys that play wh dolls and have primarily girliends or girls who are tomboys and prefer to play wh guns may have an creased likelihood of growg up to be gay. While knowg your child is gay may help you ease the transn to adulthood, 's cril to remember that a gay child is jt a child like any other and a parent of gay child is jt a parent, like any other.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

Beg a man often signifi adherence to social dictat that expect men to be physilly strong, self-reliant, rilient, tough and emotnally tached even if this is achieved at the expense of close and meangful relatnships. Dissatisfactn wh this type of tradnal masculy has mounted prsure to reevaluate what f masculy efforts to addrs genr equaly and assert the diverse needs of men and women. Perceptns around the masculy of gay persons and the disurs that associate homosexualy wh a “weak” manhood are also beg qutned. We prent a study that exam perceptns that Malte parents of gay sons hold on masculy and how the might affect their relatnship wh each other. The quiry foc on whether g out has affected the perceptns of parents of gay sons on masculy, as scribed by them. We em this rearch qutn important bee parents’ perceptns on masculy might affect their relatnship wh their children. The fdgs that nveyed through qualative terviews dite that the embodiment of masculy norms was acunted for var fay dynamics and relatns and shaped how the parents reacted to their son’s g out and eventual acceptance of his sexualy. Although some aspects of tradnal masculy were held place even after g out, the parents were able to shift their perceptns to clu a more prehensive ia about what “beg a man” means. This impli that nceptualizatns on lived masculi are movg away om social nstcts that fe as unary, stable and unntted. * sons of gay fathers *

Adherence to non-tradnal masculy, iology posively affects romantic relatnships for both heterosexual and gay men [7] and creas the level of satisfactn of both mal and femal heterosexual timate relatnships [8] [9]. While a number of studi have examed the effects which views on masculy have on heterosexual datg and maral relatnships, there have been fewer studi that examed the perceptns that parents of gay children hold on masculy and how the might mediate their relatnship wh them. On the other hand, Malta is now nsired to be one of the most progrsive untri wh regards to lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer and tersex (LGBTQI) rights, sce beme the first European untry to crimalize “ceptive and harmful” nversn therapy, aimed at any practice which attempts to change, reprs, discred or elimate a person’s sexual orientatn or genr inty [14].

THE SOCIAL EXPERIENC OF SGLE GAY FATHERS ISRAEL: AN INTERSECTNAL PERSPECTIVE

Fathers and gay sons: A plited, vally important relatnship. * sons of gay fathers *

Harrowg and horrific stori of Malte young gay men show that btal physil aggrsn and abe were ed to erce them to “manhood”, as the followg narrativ monstrate:. Some rearch shows that fathers feel that their mascule inty is threatened and exprsed guilt for not transmtg a strong sense of masculy to their gay son by for example not beg good at sports and not spendg enough time wh him when he was growg up.

The data (Table 1) on which the quiry is based were rived om a set of semi stctured terviews wh four married Malte heterosexual parents of young gay men, who me out to their parents when they were 16 - 20 years old. The were related to how parents nceptualized masculy general before their son me out and whether their perceptns on masculy had changed as a rult of the disvery that their son was gay.

Although Lucy sisted that gay and lbian persons are “normal” and that she never held any gdg agast them she was always aaid that one of her sons would be gay. Prr to their son’s g out none of the parents had given much thought about homosexualy: “Bee erm, I always thought about as somethg that happened to other people and not to you” (Ta).

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

The parents ma ls emphasis on their admiratn for their son for not lyg to himself by nyg his sexual orientatn, as the se of persons who stggle wh ternalized homophobia.

Anthony explaed how the disclosure of their child’s sexual orientatn was not shared wh other fay members so as to “avoid trouble” and keep them wonrg whether their son was gay or not. In general the parents were worried that their son’s outward “effemate” behavur, appearance and the label of beg gay might lead them to face adversi, huiatn, ridicule and discrimatn throughout life. ” Dpe claimg to rpect her son’s long term partner and their relatnship she still believed that her son was “phed to beg gay” by his peers, whom at the time of his g out were gay.

On the other hand, Anthony was not agast gay marriage and adoptn by gay upl, claimg that their marriage or civil unn should be treated as “somethg soclogil and not relig” and that “if won’t work will be dropped”.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

All the parents claimed that their relatnship wh their gay son grew stronger after their child’s g out and that their son appeared to be much lmer, happier and closer to them.

The study nfirms other fdgs that show parental acceptance of a child’s homosexual orientatn is multi-levelled and entails a procs of exploratn and adjtment [22].

The fdgs dite that parents had ternalized a heteronormative amework the tellg of their sons’ g out stori through a domant g out narrative that speaks of beg ially surprised by the news that their child is gay, clarg nfn over what homosexualy means, seekg knowledge and support and fally admtg they are proud parents [24]. In prciple, they all agreed that they have accepted their son’s homosexualy, but the fathers laid out clearly what they uld not accept, such as gtur that manifted gayns publicly and which they felt promised normative forms of masculy. They implied that their sons’ “homosexual liftyle” might reflect “cultural dissonance” [27], due to a “mismatch” wh portrayals and nceptualisatns of masculi as picted wh the broar public sphere.

LETTERS TO FATHERS: A QUALATIVE ANALYSIS OF GAY SONS’ EXPERIENC OF PATERNAL CHILDREARG

As we argued another article, social fluenc exert nsirable power over parents of LGBTQI children to the extent that the terme how they feel, thk and act relatn to their child’s homosexualy [13]. The method of secrecy employed by some of the parents to avoid talkg about their son’s homosexualy uld have hred the posive effects of g out and rtricted fay bondg.

In general g out has led them to experience personal growth by embarkg on a procs to acknowledge their son’s masculy, marked by a gree of self-ac- knowledgment and self-acceptance as parents of gay sons. We argue that when parents place the love for their children as their prry, that love serv whole muni and works to stigmatize LGBTQI persons and weaken social stctur that promote homophobia. ILGA Europe (Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn) (2016) Annual Review of the Human Rights Suatn of Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex People Europe 2016.

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Parents of Gay Children and the Issu They Face | HealthyPlace .

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