Brothers and Sisters of Gays and Lbians | Psychology Today

Contents:

• BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF GAYS AND LBIANS
• THE SIGNIFINCE OF THE SIBLG RELATNSHIP WHEN COMG OUT AS LBIAN, GAY & BISEXUAL
• LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENR, AND QUEER SIBLGS
• ARE YOUNGER BROTHERS MORE LIKELY TO BE GAY?
• HOW DO YOU RELATE TO A GAY FAY MEMBER?

BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF GAYS AND LBIANS

There are many factors that may terme how siblgs react to your g out as lbian, gay, bisexual, or transgenr: their age, their relatnship wh you, matury level, parental fluence, relig views, and so on. What is like to have a siblg who is gay or lbian?

Based on the ltle b of rmatn available, seems that siblgs may share the stigma of their gay brothers and lbian sisters.

They may have to pe wh tnts om peers, which clu accatns that they, too, are gay. In my own study of 65 gay youth and their fai, young Ain-Amerin men talked about how their brothers and other male relativ felt they were addg to society's already negative image of black manhood.

THE SIGNIFINCE OF THE SIBLG RELATNSHIP WHEN COMG OUT AS LBIAN, GAY & BISEXUAL

Like parents, their brothers also felt they had to fd ways to handle their peers' homophobic ments and behavrs.

Si by Si: On Havg a Gay or Lbian Siblg by Andrew Gottlieb is a sensive, sightful anthology nsistg of says wrten by siblgs of lbians and gays who discs how they, too, bee objects of abe and tolerance, sharg the stigma of their gay siblgs. However, like some fortunate parents, people who learn their siblgs are lbian or gay n fd ways to grow and ga new perspectiv. Several of the ntributors to this volume discsed how they formed pecially close bonds wh their gay brothers and sisters and, like some of the parents my study, veloped new, more tolerant worldviews that enriched their liv.

The pcy of available rmatn about siblgs of gay and lbian youth do not mean their issu are small or unimportant.

LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENR, AND QUEER SIBLGS

Sisters and brothers might need help pg wh feelgs of shame that they have someone gay the fay. They may also need help alg wh peer nmnatn and harassment once others fd out that they have a gay or lbian siblg. In addn, I have also seen parents wh good tentns isolate their gay children's younger siblgs, keepg the gay child's sexual orientatn a secret and therefore excludg brothers and sisters om fay discsns of this topic.

At other tim, this is done advertently when, after the gay child out, parents and gay kids emotnally whdraw om the fay, leavg siblgs to al wh their reactns alone. For all the reasons, is a good ia to pay close attentn to siblgs fai wh g-out gay and lbian youth.

However, there are ways to expla homosexualy to a small child whout gettg to the nty-grty sexual tails.

ARE YOUNGER BROTHERS MORE LIKELY TO BE GAY?

" Many therapists who have worked wh young children, whose prejudic are not yet fully formed, know how surprisgly flexible they n be when to unrstandg topics such as homosexualy if they are explaed ways that are le wh their gnive abili. Mothers and fathers might also fear that such rmatn uld fluence the younger siblg to actually "turn gay. There is no evince that havg a lbian sister or a gay brother n persua a child to bee gay.

HOW DO YOU RELATE TO A GAY FAY MEMBER?

Furthermore, one gay child a fay do not necsarily mean that others will be as well.

However, there is some evince that pared to fai wh no gay siblgs, if one son a fay is gay, his brothers are statistilly more likely to be. In my study, there were two fai that clud two siblgs who were gay, and both s, seemed that by the time the parents found out about the send child, they had an easier time adjtg than they did when they found out about their first child. However, is possible that some parents might experience exponentially more self-blame, guilt, loss, and worry if they have two or more gay or lbian children.