The Washgton Post</tle><path d="M39.2 32v36.6c4.7-2.8 7-6.8 8.7-12.1l1.2.6c-1.1 13.2-10.3 26-24.3 26S0 72.6 0 55.8C0 43 7.7 35.1 18.7 28.2a16.11 16.11 0 00-4.4-.6c-7.2 0-11.4 4.9-11.4 9.9H1.5a14.77 14.77 0 01-.1-2.1c0-9.3 5.5-19.7 16.9-19.7 7.3 0 12.9 6.7 21.4 6.7 4.3 0 6.7-1.6 8.4-5.3h1.2c-.1 6.5-2 12.8-10.1 14.9zm-19-3.3C15.1 34 10.1 39.6 10.1 50.9c0 6.2 1.9 12.4 6.6 16.4l3.1-1.7V40.3L16.6 42l-1-1.6 15-8.4c-3.8-.8-6.9-2.3-10.4-3.3zm17.1 3.7a17 17 0 01-2.3.1 17.52 17.52 0 01-4-.4v29.5l-12.8 7a15.57 15.57 0 009.9 3 22.58 22.58 0 009.2-2zm44 9.2v34.3c0 9.6-8.51 16.11-18 18l-.6-1c4.7-2.3 7.8-6.41 7.8-11.41V45.7l-4.9-4.5-2.6 2.6v27.1l3 2.8v.4l-8.1 8.61-9.3-8.51v-.4l3.6-3.8V25.8l10.6-11.3.2.1v26.6l8.7-9.2 8.7 7.9 2.7-2.6 1.31 1.3zM97.91 62v4.5l9 7.1 7-7.3 1.3 1.3L101 82.8 88.21 72.6l-2.8 2.8-1.2-1.3 3.1-3.2V45.8l18.9-13.8 10.5 16.3zm.2-22.6l-.2.1v20.1l8.7-6.4zM180 82.71l-13.9-12-10.6 12-14.4-12.41V50.7h-2.8a3.89 3.89 0 00-4.1 3.5h-1a15.87 15.87 0 01-.5-3.8c0-2.6 1.1-9.4 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3.3-3.4V44.7l-3.6-3.3-2.7 2.6-1.3-1.3L322 32l7.6 6.9 2.7-2.8 1.4 1.4-3.4 3.4v28.6l4.2 3.9 3-3.1 1.3 1.4zm-2.9-51.61l-8.2-7.5 7.5-8 8.2 7.5zm46.1 51.61l-8.7-7.91V45.6l-4.7-4.4-3.4 3.5v26.1l3.1 2.9v.4l-8.2 8.61-9.3-8.51v-.3l3.6-3.8V44.9l-4.1-3.7-3 3-1.4-1.3L345.9 32l9.1 8.1v2l9.5-10.1 8.7 7.8 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4-3.5 3.5v28l3.9 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.2 1.3zm43-41V75.6c0 5.2 2.9 5 2.9 8.9 0 4.51-6.5 8.71-16.5 16.21-3.3-3.6-5.6-5.1-8.7-5.1a19.85 19.85 0 00-10.7 3.6l-1-.8 13.7-16.11-9-7.09-2.9 2.89-1.3-1.3 3.4-3.5V45.5l19-13.6 10.2 8 3-2.9 1.3 1.3zm-7.7 41.71c-2.5-1.61-3.1-3.31-3.1-7.61V74.3L387.9 93l.1.1c3.2-1.9 5.6-3.1 10.3-3.1 4 0 6.9 1.7 9.5 4 1.9-1.6 3.3-3.2 3.3-5.7 0-1.99-1.5-3.3-4-4.89zM404 45.3l-8.3-6.5-.2.2v30.7l5.9 4.6 2.6-3zm31.5 37.41l-8.8-6.91-2.7 2.7-1.3-1.29 3.1-3.21V39.4H420l-.2-.2 3.5-5.2h2.5v-6.7L436.4 16l.2.2V34h8l.2.2-3.5 5.2h-4.7v30.3l4.8 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.3 1.4zm43.71-40.11v27.7l-16.9 12.5L450 73.5l-2.8 2.8-1.3-1.3 3.2-3.3v-27L466.81 32l11.4 8.9 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4zm-10.8 3L460 39l-.09.1v29.8l8.5 6.4zm50.4 37l-8.7-7.9V45.5l-4.7-4.4-3.41 3.5v26.1l3.1 2.9v.4l-8.2 8.61-9.3-8.51v-.3l3.6-3.8V44.8l-4.1-3.7-3 3-1.4-1.3 10.2-10.9L502 40v2l9.5-10.1 8.7 7.8 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4-3.5 3.5v28l3.9 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.2 1.3zm61.39.11a12.91 12.91 0 00-6.3-4.61v20.81l-.2.1-5.5-5.1-11.6 10.7-.2-.1V77.6a18.83 18.83 0 00-10.2 6.61l-.8-.5c.7-7.71 4.5-13.41 11-15.61V48.6h-2.1a5.25 5.25 0 00-5.3 4.2h-1.2a12.28 12.28 0 01-.7-4.6c0-4.9 3.3-8.6 8.7-8.6h.6V28.8l-3.6-3.2-2.8 2.8-1.4-1.3 11.1-11.4 9.4 8.6v9.8L572 31V19.5h1.9V29l12.5-13.3L597.7 26v43.5zM572 32.9l-2.9 3v56.31l2.9 2.7zm13.1-2.3l-5.9-5.4-5.3 5.6v36.3c4.7.6 8.2 2.2 11.1 5.3l.1-.1zm48.7 12v27.7l-16.9 12.5-12.3-9.3-2.8 2.8-1.3-1.3 3.2-3.3v-27L621.4 32l11.4 8.9 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4zm-10.8 3l-8.4-6.6-.1.1v29.8l8.5 6.4zm35.6 4.5h9.4v21.4l-15.9 11.21a11.52 11.52 0 00-8.8-4.11c-3 0-5.4 1.4-7.8 4l-1.4-.5 13.8-19.8h-8.5V43.7L656 32c2 1.6 3.6 2.6 6.2 2.6a11.38 11.38 0 007.11-2.2l1 .7zm-1.4 8.8h-4.7l-11.1 15.9.1.2a12.36 12.36 0 017.6-2.5 10.4 10.4 0 018 3.8l.1-.09zm6.41-19.6a9.78 9.78 0 01-6.91 2.3 8.92 8.92 0 01-6.3-2.9l-.2.1v14.6h3.8l9.7-14zm22.9 43.41l-8.8-6.91-2.71 2.7-1.3-1.29 3.1-3.21V39.4H671l-.2-.2 3.5-5.2h2.5v-6.7L687.41 16l.2.2V34h8l.2.2-3.5 5.2h-4.7v30.3l4.8 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.3 1.4z"></path></svg><span class="alic gray font-xxxxs font--body">Democracy Di Darkns</span></div></div><hear class="w-100" data-qa="ma-full"><div class="hi-for-prt"></div><div class="mt-lg"><div data-qa="kicker" class="wpds-c-eyomNc wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-PJLV-jYXVnY-lor-black wpds-c-PJLV-mlvxn-size-lg"><a href="/liftyle/style" class="PJLV PJLV-ieDwgbC-css">Style</a></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iklXUFA-css"><h1 class="PJLV PJLV-ikmtGxl-css overriStyl" data-ttid="headle" data-qa="headle" id="ma-ntent"><span data-qa="headle-text" class="PJLV">What to expect when you’re ved to your first same-sex weddg</span></h1></div><div class="flex prt-byle prt-mt-none"><div class="byle-wrapper flex-lumn flex"><div class="PJLV PJLV-ihSmMVC-css"><div class="PJLV PJLV-iPJLV-css mb-xxs overriStyl" style="gap:0.5rem" data-qa="thor-byle"><span class="wpds-c-PJLV"><div class="flex ems-center" data-qa="thor-byle"><div class="mr-sm flex lh-0"><div class="wpds-c-iTcer"><img src=" alt="" class="wpds-c-dgBqAZ"/></div></div><span class="left"><div class="flex"><div class="dib font-xxs" data-qa="name-wh-optnal-lk" data-cy="name-wh-optnal-lk"><span data-qa="attributn-text" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP">By <!-- --> </span><a data-qa="thor-name" href=" rel="thor" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP wpds-c-cNdzuP-ejzZdU-isLk-te">Steven Petrow</a></div></div></span></div></span></div></div><div data-ttid="timtamp" class="wpds-c-kgabfe wpds-c-kgabfe-ieEDlgV-css"><span data-ttid="display-date" class="wpds-c-iKQyrV">December 5, 2014 at 10:49 a.m. EST</span></div></div></div></hear></div><article class="grid-article mb-xxl-ns" data-qa="ma"><div data-ttid="le-art" data-qa="le-art" class=""><figure class="overflow-hidn relative hi-for-prt center center mb-sm mb-md-ns ml-to-ns mr-to-ns grid-mobile-full-bleed"><div style="filter:blur(10px);transn:filter .1s;le-height:0" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="399"><img style="background-size:ver;max-width:1600px;background-image:url('data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,%3Csvg xmlns='http%3A//; xmlns%3Axlk='http%3A//; viewBox='0 0 1280 853'%3E%3Cfilter id='b' lor-terpolatn-filters='sRGB'%3E%3CfeGssianBlur stdDeviatn='.5'%3E%3C/feGssianBlur%3E%3CfeComponentTransfer%3E%3CfeFuncA type='discrete' tableValu='1 1'%3E%3C/feFuncA%3E%3C/feComponentTransfer%3E%3C/filter%3E%3Cimage filter='url(%23b)' x='0' y='0' height='100%25' width='100%25' xlk%3Ahref='data%3Aimage/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAkAAAAGCAIAAACepSOSAAAACXBIWXMAAC4jAAAuIwF4pT92AAAAs0lEQVQI1wGoAFf/AImSoJSer5yjs52ktp2luJuluKOpuJefsoCNowB+kKaOm66grL+krsCnsMGrt8m1u8mzt8OVoLIAhJqzjZ2tnLLLnLHJp7fNmpyjqbPCqLrRjqO7AIeUn5ultaWtt56msaSnroZyY4mBgLq7wY6TmwCRfk2Pf1uzm2WulV+xmV6rmGyQfFm3nWSBcEIAfm46jX1FkH5Djn5AmodGo49MopBLlIRBfG8yj/dfjF5TUAAAAASUVORK5CYII='%3E%3C/image%3E%3C/svg%3E')" alt="" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="399" srcSet=" 400w, 540w, 691w, 767w, 916w, 1200w" siz="(max-width: 440px) 440px,(max-width: 600px) 691px,(max-width: 768px) 691px,(m-width: 769px) and (max-width: 1023px) 960px,(m-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1299px) 530px,(m-width: 1300px) and (max-width: 1439px) 691px,(m-width: 1440px) 916px,440px" dg="async"/></div><figptn class="ml-gutter mr-gutter mr-to-ns ml-to-ns font--subhead font-xxxs mt-xs left gray-dark">One thg that will likely be different at a same-sex weddg: the ke. (Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Imag)</figptn></figure></div><div class="grid-body"><div class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-PJLV-hSmMVC-isLuf2-false"><div class="wpds-c-jUMcim wpds-c-jUMcim-ibVGacg-css hi-for-prt mb-sm"><div class="PJLV PJLV-ieDMgMI-css flex ems-center" nfig="[object Object]" data-qa="article-actns"><div class="wpds-c-mfMEg"><div class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-hnjNCH wpds-c-kSOqLF-bywHgD-variant-primary wpds-c-kSOqLF-biynoz-nsy-pact wpds-c-kSOqLF-hZSyid-isOutle-te wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-futx-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-eNNUQD-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-jGqLyO-cv"><div id="gift-share" data-ttid="gift-share" class="PJLV PJLV-ieGzigK-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-dTGBTO-placement-ActnBar foc-highlight"><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fBqPWp-idCxsxc-css " aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></button></div><span aria-hidn="te" class="wpds-c-fBEbFG">Share</span></div></div><div class="wpds-c-mfMEg"><div class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-hnjNCH wpds-c-kSOqLF-bywHgD-variant-primary wpds-c-kSOqLF-biynoz-nsy-pact wpds-c-kSOqLF-hZSyid-isOutle-te wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-futx-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-eNNUQD-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-jGqLyO-cv"><button aria-label="Comment" class="wpds-c-gPbxFP"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="var(--wpds-lors-primary)" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-kKAfCG wpds-c-efqEZa flex ems-center jtify-center brad-lg poter transn-400 ease--out transn-lors" aria-label="Comment on this story"><tle>Comment on this story</tle><path d="M14 14V2H2v9.47h8.18L12.43 13ZM3 10.52V3h10v9.23l-2.5-1.66Z"></path></svg></button><span aria-hidn="te" class="wpds-c-fBEbFG">Comment</span><span class="wpds-c-fOvfhP wpds-c-fOvfhP-kshkDy-isCommentType-te none" aria-hidn="te"><span class="ment-unt font-xxxxs sc-ral-unt"><span></span></span></span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="teaser-ntent grid-center"><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Co Delroy is gettg married . . . ” says the fay patriarch to his clan, “to a man . . . which is crazy!” Dpe the gasps, he announc he’s brgg Gary, a gay weddgs expert, who tri to lm the anxiety-ridn relativ by explag, “A gay weddg is jt like a straight weddg,” before beg barraged by qutns like, “When do we sg ‘YMCA?’ ” (“You don’t,” says Gary, “this is a relig ceremony”) and, “Is RuPl gog be there?” (“I don’t thk Delroy knows RuPl”).</p></div></div><div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="db dn-ns mr-neg-gutter ml-neg-gutter mb-md hi-for-prt" data-qa="subscribe-promo"><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div><a class="pt-sm pb-sm flex ems-center bold font-xxxs font-xxs-ns jtify-center" href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" style="lor:#166dfc;borr:none"><svg class="ntent-box" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns=" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>Wp</tle><path d="M11.055 8.728l-1.018-1.019-.782.782v6.292l1.782 1.564.018-.019v-7.6zm-4.11.236L5.674 7.71l-.836.855v6.237l1.545 1.327.564-.636V8.964zm2.656 9.074l-2.528-2.182-1.927 2.182-2.619-2.255v-3.564h-.509c-.454 0-.672.273-.745.636H1.09a2.89 2.89 0 0 1-.091-.69c0-.473.2-1.71 1.527-1.71V7.691c0-1.073-.709-1.127-.709-2.054 0-1.037.982-2 2.782-2.637l.164.145c-.6.291-1.09.655-1.09 1.437 0 1.2 1.163.89 1.163 2.782v.727l2.127-2.236 2.237 2.2 2.109-2.2 2.036 2v6.728l-3.745 3.455zm11.108-9.625l-1.073-.982-.964 1.018v6.6c.855.11 1.491.4 2.019.964l.018-.018V8.413zm-2.382.418l-.528.545v10.237l.528.492V8.83zm1.49 9.055c-.308-.382-.69-.709-1.145-.836v3.782l-.036.018-1-.927-2.11 1.945-.036-.018V16.96c-.636.145-1.327.545-1.854 1.2l-.146-.091c.127-1.4.818-2.436 2-2.837v-3.545h-.382c-.527 0-.89.363-.963.763h-.219c-.054-.145-.127-.381-.127-.836 0-.891.6-1.564 1.582-1.564h.11V8.085l-.655-.582-.51.51-.254-.237 2.018-2.073 1.71 1.564V9.05l.527-.564v-2.09h.345v1.727l2.273-2.419L23 7.576v7.91l-3.182 2.4z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg><span class="mr-xs ml-xs gray-darkt flex ems-center">Get the full experience.<span class="ml-xs subs-theme blue">Choose your plan</span></span><svg class="ntent-box" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" xmlns=" style="fill:#166dfc" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>ArrowRight</tle><path d="M7.664 1.25l6 6a1 1 0 010 1.414l-6 6L6.25 13.25 10.499 9H2V7h8.585L6.25 2.664 7.664 1.25z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></a><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">This spoof of gay weddg advice om <a href=" tle=">Comedy Central's Key & Peele</a>, and like any good satire, s power li the nuggets of tth reflected the queri.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">In the past several months as civil marriage rights have e to a total of 35 stat pl the District of Columbia, my box has overflowed wh qutns on same-sex weddg etiquette.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Seventy percent of gay upl live stat where same-sex marriage is now legal, acrdg to Gary Gat, a scholar at UCLA School of Law's <a href=" tle="">Williams Instute</a>. Close to a half a ln same-sex upl n now marry — and as many as 80,000 gay upl may do so the next year. This means an vatn may soon appear your mailbox.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">And the first thg to know is, It won’t be so different om what you’re ed to.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Whether ’s two bris, two grooms, or a bri and groom, at the heart of are two people who are mtg their liv to one another and who are exprsg that love and mment before their muny of fay and iends,” says Marc Solomon, thor of “Wng Marriage: The Insi Story of How Same-Sex Coupl Took on the Policians and Punds — and Won!”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">But dig eper and the differenc start to appear. “While certa steps the planng procs are ntral, such as selectg a menu, there are many qutns for gay grooms and lbian bris,” explaed Jason Mchell, thor of “Gettg Groomed: The Ultimate Weddg Planner for Gay Grooms.” Certa tradns, pecially those based on genr rol, are often chewed (such as the garter or bouquet toss and the “daddy dance”), and some upl skip the walk down the aisle, the receivg le, even the ke cuttg, their sire to avoid heterosexual nventns entirely.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">So, for those ved to their first same-sex weddg, here are some answers to mon qutns about what to expect:</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><b>Do we throw a shower for one bri, or both? What about the bachelor/bachelorette party?</b></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Tradnal shower etiquette don't ver two bris, or none, which may expla why a <a href=" tle=">2013 gay weddg survey </a>by the Knot and the Advote noted that only 8 percent of same-sex upl reported havg a shower (pared to 22 percent for oppose-sex upl). Sarah Kelly, who married Ama Parashar last year, said that her mother and sister hosted a jot shower, addg, "My fay didn't want to do one and not have Ama be there."</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Christopher Haton, who tied the knot wh Wayne Fong a year ago, admted his bt man found planng his bachelor party hard bee he wasn’t sure whether to ve Fong and then didn’t. Fong acknowledged he was “disappoted” when he wasn’t ved and then found himself wh no party of his own.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">This beg uncharted terrory, Kathryn Hamm, print of <a href=" tle=""></a>, said the bt advice is simply to ask the uple what they want.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><b>What si of the aisle? </b></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div id="gift-share-le" data-ttid="gift-share-le" class="PJLV PJLV-ilotWTr-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-goNocI-placement-Inle foc-highlight"><div data-ttid="gift-share-terstial-trigger" class="wpds-c-kPqOkS wpds-c-kPqOkS-jtSXsT-hasSubsText-false"><span class="wpds-c-hBJqc"><span class="wpds-c-dzSncg">Share this article</span></span><span class="wpds-c-eCvK"><span class="wpds-c-enedHQ wpds-c-enedHQ-cCdK-isShown-false">Share</span><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fDHGth"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></span></div></button></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Bri’s si or groom’s?” is beg an outdated qutn even for heterosexual upl, and guts at same-sex weddgs are likely to be iends of both bris or grooms. “Coupl want to fe their weddg party around support of themselv as a uple, not dividuals,” explaed Hamm. Sarah Kelly reported that her parents and Parashar’s parents sat across the aisle om each other, but “everyone else jt filled between.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><b>How much of a kiss will that kiss really be?</b></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">For many straight guts this is the moment of tth: seeg two men or two women lock lips. Steve Drysdale, whose dghter Rebec married her girliend earlier the fall, told me, “This was the first time a lot of the straight guts had seen that the flh. It’s different than cheerg for equal rights. It’s more visceral — mak people unfortable.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Roseann Foley Henry, who married her wife 2008, advised guts to keep their ol. “That first kiss seals the al on the new marriage — ncentrate on the love and the mment reprents, nothg else, and you’ll be fe.” She also suggted that all upl e a ltle discretn: “This is not the bt time for any uple to have a make out ssn.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><b>Will there be a drag show?</b></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Probably not, but ’s wise to expect a b more Broadway baby than at most straight weddgs. Bernatte Smh, one of the first same-sex weddg planners, poted out that she’s seeg more gay weddgs clu elements such as “drag, burlque and go-go boys.” In fact, when Matthew Breen married his boyiend a year ago, their DJ appeared what he lled “half drag, sportg a hairy cht, a btier, and massive heels.” Breen’s father David told me: “I wonred what the guts might thk bee at one time some people assumed all gays were want-to-be drag queens and I didn’t want [our] guts to thk that.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><b>Which partner is the hband, which is the wife?</b></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">This equent, yet startlgly personal, qutn is likely a stand- for all the ways same-sex nuptials n wreak havoc wh tradn. Straight guts look for clu about genr rol the uple’s attire, who danc wh whom, and other tails.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“The lack of genr rol allows to be more non-tradnal if we choose to be,” Smh said. “Coupl often walk down the aisle together or don’t dance wh their parents; two bris don’t necsarily mean two weddg gowns. Sometim one or both partners is a su or tux.” (In fact, acrdg to the same-sex weddg survey nducted by the Knot and the Advote, more than 4 10 bris wear a su or a tuxedo.) That don’t necsarily say anythg about “who’s the man and who’s the woman,” but was a big reason why Roseann Henry wore a drs, which she rarely do, at her weddg. “I didn’t want anyone to make assumptns about my role the relatnship based on what I wore.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Thankfully, most people don’t have the kds of qutns clud that Key & Peele spoof, like “Do you throw somethg other than rice?” (“Like what?” asks the expert. “Co!”) As Drysdale told me, “While there’s nothg nventnal about a gay weddg, everybody had a fantastic time at Becky’s and the gay thg fad to the background as the eveng went on.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">E-mail qutns to Civili at <a class="show" href=""></a> (unfortunately not all qutns n be answered). You n reach him on Facebook at <a class="show" href="></a> and on Twter <a href=">@stevenpetrow</a>.</p></div><div class="wpds-c-ipATMk wpds-c-ipATMk-hCiGAB-removeMobileStyl-te"><div class="wpds-c-dhzjXW wpds-c-dhzjXW-iPJLV-css overriStyl mt-md tt"><div id="gift-share-end" data-ttid="gift-share-end" class="PJLV PJLV-idiqKOk-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-iIVoLq-placement-Shortcut foc-highlight"><div class="wpds-c-UazGY" id="gift-share-shortcut" data-ttid="gift-share-shortcut"><svg xmlns=" fill="var(--wpds-lors-primary)" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fVfumU "><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg><div class="PJLV wpds-c-kwcHlj">Share</div></div></button></div><div class="wpds-c-hcekgi"><div class="mb-lg-mod" data-qa="ments-btn-div"><button aria-label="Scroll to the ments sectn" data-qa="ments-btn" class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-kSOqLF-SQjOY-variant-sendary wpds-c-kSOqLF-eHdizY-nsy-flt wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-igqYgPb-css ments hi-for-prt"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 16 16" fill="currentColor" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp "><path d="M14 14V2H2v9.47h8.18L12.43 13ZM3 10.52V3h10v9.23l-2.5-1.66Z"></path></svg><span></span> Comments</button></div></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><sectn class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css dn-ns hi-for-prt" data-ttid="mostRead" subscriptns-sectn="ntent"><div data-ttid="lazy-most-read-parent" class=""><div style="m-height:800px"></div></div></sectn><div class="PJLV PJLV-ickXkbz-css"><div data-qa="newsletter" class="hi-for-prt relative"><div class="dib w-100"><div><div class="flex jtify-center align self-center center transn-all duratn-400 ease--out" data-qa="sc-newsletter-signup" aria-label=""><svg aria-labelledby="react-aria-1-aria" role="img" viewBox="0 0 100 80"><tle id="react-aria-1-aria">Loadg....