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- THE THOMAS THE TANK ENGE CHARACTERS YOU DIDN’T KNOW WERE GAY (NSFW)JAMIE TABBERER·FOLLOW6 M READ·NOV 25, 2016--LISTENSHARETHOMAS THE TANK ENGE, OR PATRICK OM LOOKG?WHEN I WAS A KID I WAS OBSSED WH THOMAS THE TANK ENGE. SO MUCH SO, I STILL WATCH ON YOUTUBE WHEN I’M DNK 25 YEARS LATER.AS A CHILD I NSIRED MY MOST BOYISH OF TERTS — OVER MY SISTER’S BARBI, ANYWAY. NOW I LOOK BACK AND SEE THE SHOW FOR WHAT REALLY WAS: A SURREAL, NON-PC SIGHT TO MY FUTURE GAY LIFE. FOR ME, WAS QUEER AS FOLK FOR KIDS.IN MY VIEW, ’S CRAMMED WH SEXUAL SUBTEXT AND NUENDO — LIKE SO MUCH KIDS’ ENTERTAMENT.HERE, WE IMAGE THE STORYL OF THOMAS AND FRIENDS IF WERE A GROWN UP GAY DRAMA FEATURG PLENTY OF HORRIFYG GAY STEREOTYP…1 THOMAS THE TANK ENGE — THE EVERYGAY (I.E. PATRICK OM LOOKG, TOM DALEY)CUTE, PELLG, NAIVE: WE ALL KNOW A THOMAS. LIKE ALL THE BT PROTAGONISTS, HE ENDS UP CENTER OF ATTENTN WHOUT EVEN TRYG. I MEAN, HE’S THE SHOW’S MOST INIC CHARACTER, BUT HE DIDN’T EVEN FEATURE THE ORIGAL BOOK… HE’S BASILLY THE HOT, YOUNG, SELFIE-OBSSED SCENTER WHO DRS ENTIRELY HIGH STREET AND IRKS THE LIK OF HENRY AND GORDON BY STEALG THE LIMELIGHT. AND HE’S CLEARLY SHUNTG PERCY.LIK: SMOOTH. DISLIK: BAD LIGHTG.2 EDWARD THE REALLY USEFUL ENGE — THE HANDSOME BT IEND YOU’VE DATED/SLEPT WHEDWARD AND THOMAS: GOOD TOGETHER ON PAPER, BUT BETTER OFF AS IENDS. THEY’RE BOTH SWEET AND KD, HAVE LOADS MON, AND LOOK SO ALIKE, THEY ULD BE BOYIEND TWS. BUT ULTIMATELY, THEY NEED EACH OTHER’S IENDSHIP: JT LOOK AT ALL THE NARCISSISTIC SOCPATHS ON THE TRACKS!LIK: THE UNTRYSI. DISLIK: HOOK UPS — DAT ONLY PLEASE.3 HENRY THE GREEN ENGE — THE VILE QUEENSPEAKG OF NARCISSISTS… ACIDIC HENRY IS THE KD OF GAY WHO NSTANTLY BCH ABOUT OTHERS AND IS OBSSED WH HIS APPEARANCE. BUT THERE’S NO GYM FOR THE FACE, IS THERE HENRY?. HE HAS AN FERRY PLEX OF GORDON, WHO HE DATED WAY BACK WHEN, AND STILL LTS AFTER. SO HE TAK HIS DISAPPOTMENT LIFE OUT ON SMALLER, HOTTER ENG LIKE THOMAS AND EDWARD.LIK: VTAGE KYLIE, GARISH SHAS OF GREEN. DISLIK: SG.4 GORDON THE BIG ENGE — THE BIG DADDYJT LOOK AT THAT TENSE, FURROWED BROW. BIG, STRONG, AND FANTASTILLY GMPY, GORDON’S THE OLR GUY YOU KNOW IS BAD FOR YOU — BUT YOU JT N’T SAY NO. AN AGGRSIVE TOP. THOMAS HAS PROBABLY BEEN THERE A FEW TIM.LIK: POWER. DISLIK: EVERYTHG ELSE.5 JAM THE RED ENGE — THE HUNK WH AN ATTU PROBLEMAH, JAM. HE’S ONE OF SCFF’S MOST-WOOFED TRAS, BUT HE’S A B BASIC. HIS HEART’S THE RIGHT PLACE, BUT HE’S HOSTILE BEE HE ISN’T ENTIRELY AT EASE WH HIS SEXUALY. AS SUCH, HE TURNS HIS NOSE UP AT ANYTHG STEREOTYPILLY MP. BUT IF HE WERE HUMAN, HE’D SECRETLY LISTEN TO ARIANA GRAN WHEN MASTURBATG. HAS SHARED A SHED WH THOMAS AND GORDON.LIK: MASC. DISLIK: ANYONE WHO DON’T LOOK LIKE HIM. TRAM, DIEL AND STEAM ENG, HAROLD THE HELIPTER ETC…6 PERCY THE SMALL ENGE — THE TWK WH THE CHEEKY PERSONALYPERCY’S CLEARLY THE HOTTT ENGE — HE HAS A SIX-PACK WHOUT EVEN TRYG! (I’M NOT HIGH WHILE WRG THIS, I SWEAR.) AS THE MOST ENERGETIC AND YOUTHFUL ENGE, HE PET ON VAR GAY SPORTS TEAMS. CLEARLY, HE AND THOMAS ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER; THEIRS IS THE LOVE STORY FOR THE AG. OR PERHAPS JAM GETS VOLVED AND A LOVE TRIANGLE EVOLV? OR THE THREE OF THEM FORM A DOOMED, POLYAMORO RELATNSHIP? WE’LL TAKE WHATEVER DRAMA, JT SO LONG AS HE AND THOMAS END UP TOGETHER.LIK: BEG SHORT — HE MAK WORK. DISLIK: TOPPG.7 TOBY THE TRAM ENGE — THE QUEER HIPSTERAS THE ONLY TRAM ENGE ON THE ISLAND OF SODOR, TOBY’S GOT THAT CERTA SOMETHG YOU N’T PUT YOUR FGER ON. HE’S THE QUIET GUY STANDG THE RNER WHO TCH YOUR EYE WH HIS SWEET SE.HE’S TELLIGENT, LOV FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILMS AND GETS THE MOST FIRED UP ABOUT LGBTI ISSU. WE N SEE HIM ENDG UP WH OLIVER AFTER ROMANCG THOMAS (WHO CLEARLY GETS AROUND) AND PERCY. IF HE WERE A PERSON HE’D HAVE A BEARD, WEAR BROWN RDUROY TROERS AND ALWAYS RRY A BOOK. BISEXUAL, BUT NOBODY EVER THKS TO ASK.LIK: A SLOWER PACE OF LIFE. DISLIK: REALY TV, DONALD TMP.8 DUCK THE GREAT WTERN ENGE — THE MP, FOPPISH GAYIS JT , OR DO DUCK HAVE A SLIGHT OSR WIL QUALY ABOUT HIM? THE DASHG BONAIR IS THE MOST TED ENGE, AND N OFTEN BE FOUND HAVG TELLECTUAL DISCSNS ABOUT TRANS RIGHTS AND THE MEANG OF SEXUAL FLUIDY WH TOBY. WE IMAGE HE WAS RAISED BY LBIAN MOTHERS: ONE A HIPPY, ONE A BANKER. IF DUCK WERE A PERSON HE’D WEAR ILLED SIGNER SHIRTS, NECKERCHIEFS AND HAVE LONG, PERFECTLY CURLY HAIR.LIK: LONG-DISTANCE TRAVEL. DISLIK: BASIC BCH.9 (AND 10) DONALD AND DOUGLAS — HOT STTISH GAY INTIL TWSWE REPEAT: HOT STTISH GAY INTIL TWS. ENOUGH SAID.11 OLIVER — THE TRA NEXT DOOROLIVER’S THE KD OF TRA YOU DISMISS WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HIM. IN THE SHOW, HE’S ALMOST SENT TO THE SCRAPYARD. HE’S GOT A BIG NOSE, ALWAYS PUTS OTHERS FIRST AND IS JT A B, WELL, DRAB. BUT THEN, ONE DAY, HE GETS A NEW AT OF PAT, AND YOU REALISE WHAT AN ARROGANT A-HOLE YOU’VE BEEN. HE’S ACTUALLY ALL KDS OF AMAZG. BUT BY THEN ’S TOO LATE BEE HE’S ALREADY END UP WH TOBY; HE’S THE ONLY TRA GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM.LIK: OPEN-MD. DISLIK: JUDGEMENTAL TRAS.12 DIEL — THE KKY FETISHISTDIEL’S FILTHY — LERALLY. IN THE SHOW, HE’S MONLY PICTED AS A VILLA, BUT WE THK HE’S SIMPLY MISUNRSTOOD. Y, HE ENJOYS SOME ACQUIRED TAST, BUT WHAT’S THE BIG AL? IF YOU ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW HIM, YOU’LL FD THERE’S MORE TO HIM THAN MEETS THE EYE. HE’S PROBABLY AN AMAZG POET OR SOMETHG.LIK: DOM/SUB ROLEPLAY. DISLIK: 50 SHAS OF GREY.13 DAISY — THE DRAG QUEENTHOMAS AND FRIENDS IS OFTEN RID BY PARENTS FOR S CLASSIST, RACIST AND SEXIST UNRTON. AND AS MUCH AS PAS TO TAKE ONE OF THE SHOW’S ONLY EARLY FEMALE CHARACTERS (ALTHOUGH MAVIS WAS AMAZG) AND CLAIM HER AS A GAY MAN, WE DON’T FEEL WE HAVE A CHOICE. DAISY IS FUCKG FIERCE. IN THE SHOW SHE EVEN SCRIB HERSELF AS ‘HIGHLY STNG AND RIGHT UP TO DATE!’ GET HER ON RUPL’S DRAG RACE IMMEDIATELY.LIK: NICE TERRS, A BEAD OF TTED MOISTURISER THE MORNG. DISLIK: UNTUCKED, CSTY WIGS.14 THE FAT CONTROLLER — NEEDS NO EXPLANATN
- TOOTLE, THE EX-GAY TRA
- THOMAS THE TANK ENGE HAS A NEW GAY IEND
THE THOMAS THE TANK ENGE CHARACTERS YOU DIDN’T KNOW WERE GAY (NSFW)JAMIE TABBERER·FOLLOW6 M READ·NOV 25, 2016--LISTENSHARETHOMAS THE TANK ENGE, OR PATRICK OM LOOKG?WHEN I WAS A KID I WAS OBSSED WH THOMAS THE TANK ENGE. SO MUCH SO, I STILL WATCH ON YOUTUBE WHEN I’M DNK 25 YEARS LATER.AS A CHILD I NSIRED MY MOST BOYISH OF TERTS — OVER MY SISTER’S BARBI, ANYWAY. NOW I LOOK BACK AND SEE THE SHOW FOR WHAT REALLY WAS: A SURREAL, NON-PC SIGHT TO MY FUTURE GAY LIFE. FOR ME, WAS QUEER AS FOLK FOR KIDS.IN MY VIEW, ’S CRAMMED WH SEXUAL SUBTEXT AND NUENDO — LIKE SO MUCH KIDS’ ENTERTAMENT.HERE, WE IMAGE THE STORYL OF THOMAS AND FRIENDS IF WERE A GROWN UP GAY DRAMA FEATURG PLENTY OF HORRIFYG GAY STEREOTYP…1 THOMAS THE TANK ENGE — THE EVERYGAY (I.E. PATRICK OM LOOKG, TOM DALEY)CUTE, PELLG, NAIVE: WE ALL KNOW A THOMAS. LIKE ALL THE BT PROTAGONISTS, HE ENDS UP CENTER OF ATTENTN WHOUT EVEN TRYG. I MEAN, HE’S THE SHOW’S MOST INIC CHARACTER, BUT HE DIDN’T EVEN FEATURE THE ORIGAL BOOK… HE’S BASILLY THE HOT, YOUNG, SELFIE-OBSSED SCENTER WHO DRS ENTIRELY HIGH STREET AND IRKS THE LIK OF HENRY AND GORDON BY STEALG THE LIMELIGHT. AND HE’S CLEARLY SHUNTG PERCY.LIK: SMOOTH. DISLIK: BAD LIGHTG.2 EDWARD THE REALLY USEFUL ENGE — THE HANDSOME BT IEND YOU’VE DATED/SLEPT WHEDWARD AND THOMAS: GOOD TOGETHER ON PAPER, BUT BETTER OFF AS IENDS. THEY’RE BOTH SWEET AND KD, HAVE LOADS MON, AND LOOK SO ALIKE, THEY ULD BE BOYIEND TWS. BUT ULTIMATELY, THEY NEED EACH OTHER’S IENDSHIP: JT LOOK AT ALL THE NARCISSISTIC SOCPATHS ON THE TRACKS!LIK: THE UNTRYSI. DISLIK: HOOK UPS — DAT ONLY PLEASE.3 HENRY THE GREEN ENGE — THE VILE QUEENSPEAKG OF NARCISSISTS… ACIDIC HENRY IS THE KD OF GAY WHO NSTANTLY BCH ABOUT OTHERS AND IS OBSSED WH HIS APPEARANCE. BUT THERE’S NO GYM FOR THE FACE, IS THERE HENRY?. HE HAS AN FERRY PLEX OF GORDON, WHO HE DATED WAY BACK WHEN, AND STILL LTS AFTER. SO HE TAK HIS DISAPPOTMENT LIFE OUT ON SMALLER, HOTTER ENG LIKE THOMAS AND EDWARD.LIK: VTAGE KYLIE, GARISH SHAS OF GREEN. DISLIK: SG.4 GORDON THE BIG ENGE — THE BIG DADDYJT LOOK AT THAT TENSE, FURROWED BROW. BIG, STRONG, AND FANTASTILLY GMPY, GORDON’S THE OLR GUY YOU KNOW IS BAD FOR YOU — BUT YOU JT N’T SAY NO. AN AGGRSIVE TOP. THOMAS HAS PROBABLY BEEN THERE A FEW TIM.LIK: POWER. DISLIK: EVERYTHG ELSE.5 JAM THE RED ENGE — THE HUNK WH AN ATTU PROBLEMAH, JAM. HE’S ONE OF SCFF’S MOST-WOOFED TRAS, BUT HE’S A B BASIC. HIS HEART’S THE RIGHT PLACE, BUT HE’S HOSTILE BEE HE ISN’T ENTIRELY AT EASE WH HIS SEXUALY. AS SUCH, HE TURNS HIS NOSE UP AT ANYTHG STEREOTYPILLY MP. BUT IF HE WERE HUMAN, HE’D SECRETLY LISTEN TO ARIANA GRAN WHEN MASTURBATG. HAS SHARED A SHED WH THOMAS AND GORDON.LIK: MASC. DISLIK: ANYONE WHO DON’T LOOK LIKE HIM. TRAM, DIEL AND STEAM ENG, HAROLD THE HELIPTER ETC…6 PERCY THE SMALL ENGE — THE TWK WH THE CHEEKY PERSONALYPERCY’S CLEARLY THE HOTTT ENGE — HE HAS A SIX-PACK WHOUT EVEN TRYG! (I’M NOT HIGH WHILE WRG THIS, I SWEAR.) AS THE MOST ENERGETIC AND YOUTHFUL ENGE, HE PET ON VAR GAY SPORTS TEAMS. CLEARLY, HE AND THOMAS ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER; THEIRS IS THE LOVE STORY FOR THE AG. OR PERHAPS JAM GETS VOLVED AND A LOVE TRIANGLE EVOLV? OR THE THREE OF THEM FORM A DOOMED, POLYAMORO RELATNSHIP? WE’LL TAKE WHATEVER DRAMA, JT SO LONG AS HE AND THOMAS END UP TOGETHER.LIK: BEG SHORT — HE MAK WORK. DISLIK: TOPPG.7 TOBY THE TRAM ENGE — THE QUEER HIPSTERAS THE ONLY TRAM ENGE ON THE ISLAND OF SODOR, TOBY’S GOT THAT CERTA SOMETHG YOU N’T PUT YOUR FGER ON. HE’S THE QUIET GUY STANDG THE RNER WHO TCH YOUR EYE WH HIS SWEET SE.HE’S TELLIGENT, LOV FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILMS AND GETS THE MOST FIRED UP ABOUT LGBTI ISSU. WE N SEE HIM ENDG UP WH OLIVER AFTER ROMANCG THOMAS (WHO CLEARLY GETS AROUND) AND PERCY. IF HE WERE A PERSON HE’D HAVE A BEARD, WEAR BROWN RDUROY TROERS AND ALWAYS RRY A BOOK. BISEXUAL, BUT NOBODY EVER THKS TO ASK.LIK: A SLOWER PACE OF LIFE. DISLIK: REALY TV, DONALD TMP.8 DUCK THE GREAT WTERN ENGE — THE MP, FOPPISH GAYIS JT , OR DO DUCK HAVE A SLIGHT OSR WIL QUALY ABOUT HIM? THE DASHG BONAIR IS THE MOST TED ENGE, AND N OFTEN BE FOUND HAVG TELLECTUAL DISCSNS ABOUT TRANS RIGHTS AND THE MEANG OF SEXUAL FLUIDY WH TOBY. WE IMAGE HE WAS RAISED BY LBIAN MOTHERS: ONE A HIPPY, ONE A BANKER. IF DUCK WERE A PERSON HE’D WEAR ILLED SIGNER SHIRTS, NECKERCHIEFS AND HAVE LONG, PERFECTLY CURLY HAIR.LIK: LONG-DISTANCE TRAVEL. DISLIK: BASIC BCH.9 (AND 10) DONALD AND DOUGLAS — HOT STTISH GAY INTIL TWSWE REPEAT: HOT STTISH GAY INTIL TWS. ENOUGH SAID.11 OLIVER — THE TRA NEXT DOOROLIVER’S THE KD OF TRA YOU DISMISS WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HIM. IN THE SHOW, HE’S ALMOST SENT TO THE SCRAPYARD. HE’S GOT A BIG NOSE, ALWAYS PUTS OTHERS FIRST AND IS JT A B, WELL, DRAB. BUT THEN, ONE DAY, HE GETS A NEW AT OF PAT, AND YOU REALISE WHAT AN ARROGANT A-HOLE YOU’VE BEEN. HE’S ACTUALLY ALL KDS OF AMAZG. BUT BY THEN ’S TOO LATE BEE HE’S ALREADY END UP WH TOBY; HE’S THE ONLY TRA GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM.LIK: OPEN-MD. DISLIK: JUDGEMENTAL TRAS.12 DIEL — THE KKY FETISHISTDIEL’S FILTHY — LERALLY. IN THE SHOW, HE’S MONLY PICTED AS A VILLA, BUT WE THK HE’S SIMPLY MISUNRSTOOD. Y, HE ENJOYS SOME ACQUIRED TAST, BUT WHAT’S THE BIG AL? IF YOU ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW HIM, YOU’LL FD THERE’S MORE TO HIM THAN MEETS THE EYE. HE’S PROBABLY AN AMAZG POET OR SOMETHG.LIK: DOM/SUB ROLEPLAY. DISLIK: 50 SHAS OF GREY.13 DAISY — THE DRAG QUEENTHOMAS AND FRIENDS IS OFTEN RID BY PARENTS FOR S CLASSIST, RACIST AND SEXIST UNRTON. AND AS MUCH AS PAS TO TAKE ONE OF THE SHOW’S ONLY EARLY FEMALE CHARACTERS (ALTHOUGH MAVIS WAS AMAZG) AND CLAIM HER AS A GAY MAN, WE DON’T FEEL WE HAVE A CHOICE. DAISY IS FUCKG FIERCE. IN THE SHOW SHE EVEN SCRIB HERSELF AS ‘HIGHLY STNG AND RIGHT UP TO DATE!’ GET HER ON RUPL’S DRAG RACE IMMEDIATELY.LIK: NICE TERRS, A BEAD OF TTED MOISTURISER THE MORNG. DISLIK: UNTUCKED, CSTY WIGS.14 THE FAT CONTROLLER — NEEDS NO EXPLANATN
Now I look back and see the show for what really was: a surreal, non-PC sight to my future gay life. For me, was Queer As Folk for my view, ’s crammed wh sexual subtext and nuendo — like so much kids’, we image the storyl of Thomas and Friends if were a grown up gay drama featurg plenty of horrifyg gay stereotyp…1 Thomas the Tank Enge — the everygay (i.
TOOTLE, THE EX-GAY TRA
3 Henry the Green Enge — the vile queenSpeakg of narcissists… Acidic Henry is the kd of gay who nstantly bch about others and is obssed wh his appearance. ) As the most energetic and youthful enge, he pet on var gay sports teams. 8 Duck the Great Wtern Enge — the mp, foppish gayIs jt , or do Duck have a slight Osr Wil qualy about him?
9 (and 10) Donald and Douglas — hot Sttish gay intil twsWe repeat: hot Sttish gay intil tws.
THOMAS THE TANK ENGE HAS A NEW GAY IEND
And as much as pas to take one of the show’s only early female characters (although Mavis was amazg) and claim her as a gay man, we don’t feel we have a choice. Let me troduce you to Tootle, the ex-gay tra. But 's almost impossible to read as anythg but an anti-gay allegory.
"So basilly, Tootle gets tempted by a smokg hot horse sayg, "Hey, sailor, " giv to vile temptatn, unrgo some reparative therapy, and emerg happily ex-gay at the book's end. I told our bemed ltle dience (the small plement of tradnal traspotters looked puzzled by the gay extravaganza) that the journey om beg told by the ernment chief whip 1982 to shut up about homosexualy to namg a 3, 300-horsepower.