Is Your Dad Gay—or Are You a Gay Dad? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON
• MY GAY DAD, MY QUEER FAY, HAPPILY EVER AFTER
• IM GAY AND IM ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER..
• IM GAY AND IM ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER..
• 10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS
• THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW
• HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY
• IS YOUR DAD GAY—OR ARE YOU A GAY DAD?
• I LOVE MY GAY DAD GIFTS

GROWG UP WH A GAY FATHER – CONFSNS OM A STRAIGHT SON

In late 1980, at a support group for gay fathers, my dad met Lnel –– the man wh whom he would spend the next 23 years.

MY GAY DAD, MY QUEER FAY, HAPPILY EVER AFTER

He had seemed kd of lost his new life – phg 60, recently divorced om my mother, recently out of the closet as gay man. He asked that I march wh him, alongsi the other gay fathers and their kids, the Los Angel Pri Para.

IM GAY AND IM ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER..

What I do remember was that someone had ma T-shirts that said "I LOVE MY GAY DAD" and I refed to wear one. I told my dad, “I love you, but not bee you’re gay.

IM GAY AND IM ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER..

” The tth, though, is that I lacked the urage to stand all the way up for my father and his ras agast a homophobic and different world.

I probably left my "I LOVE MY GAY DAD" T-shirt next to the box had e out of, though I might have taken home wh me and buried a drawer. Pete Wilson’s office, or at the Natnal March on Washgton for Lbian and Gay dad and his hband lost a lot of iends to AIDS. Even when I was an obnox 22-year-old and wouldn’t put on a T-shirt to clare, unashamed, unembarrassed and unapologetic, that I love my gay dad.

But I knew he was gay by the time I was 7 or 8. So this is my story of growg up wh a gay father.

10 THGS YOU’LL ONLY KNOW IF YOU’VE GROWN UP WH GAY PARENTS

Growg up wh a gay father, particularly one who was aaid to e out, prented challeng our abily to get emotnally close. I don’t rell a time when I didn’t know my Dad was gay.

THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW

From my earlit memori of my Dad around age 5, I thk I always knew my dad was gay.

Th I never had that aha moment of realizg “I have a gay father”!

To hear both of them tell , my Dad beg gay wasn’t a factor the spl.

HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY

How my Dad me to terms wh beg gay.

I don’t thk anyone knew yet that my Dad was gay. After all, he was the son of a Baptist Preacher and there would not have been much tolerance the 1940’s or 50’s for him to e out as gay. In talkg to both of them over the years, they both claim they had no ia my Dad was gay.

IS YOUR DAD GAY—OR ARE YOU A GAY DAD?

In retrospect, the fact that he was a cheerlear his bt iend was a male hairdrser (who was openly gay) that my Uncle Buddy nicknamed him “Percy” (which my Dad hated) and that my Dad went on to open a home furnishgs store might have been a clue. Realizg his sexualy and beg a gay father the late 1960s, pecially wh me a long way away, mt have been really transformative for my Dad. He lived and around the Oak Lawn area of Dallas (long a predomantly gay or at least gay-iendly neighborhood).

I LOVE MY GAY DAD GIFTS

He was meetg lots of openly gay people & gog to clubs where was OK to be openly gay. Beg a gay father the 1960s. My Dad never actually me out as gay to me or to most people.

I’d known my Dad is gay for some time, but we’d never discsed .

My Dad, of urse, was sistent that no one would obvly know he was gay (which also ma Tom and I lgh). Are you a gay father stgglg to e out? In Loren’s se, he didn’t e to terms wh beg gay until the age of 40 and was married wh children at the time.