Are Gay Datg Apps Inpatible Wh Fdg Love? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• ARE GAY DATG APPS INPATIBLE WH FDG LOVE?
• THE CHALLENG OF GAY MEN RELATNSHIP AND 8 WAYS TO MAKE IT EASIER
• HOW TO TACKLE GAY RELATNSHIP PROBLEMS
• FOUR CHALLENG OF GAY DATG
• THE CHALLENG I FACE WHEN DATG AS A GAY MAN WH A DISABILY
• 5 STGGL OF DATG IN THE GAY COMMUNY

ARE GAY DATG APPS INPATIBLE WH FDG LOVE?

Bisexual people are ls likely than gay men or lbian women to be fully out to important people their liv (Pew Rearch Center, 2013). Addnally, many people assume that bisexual people a different-sex relatnship are straight, and that bisexual people a same-sex relatnship are gay or lbian. The assumptns remove the inti of bisexual dividuals, a procs known as bisexual erasure (Gay, Lbian, and Straight Edutn Network, 2016).

While straight and gay men do not show the same bias wh datg profil, straight women fd bisexual men to be ls attractive and ls mascule than straight men, and are ls likely to date or have sex wh bisexual men (Gleason, Vencill, & Sprankle, 2019). Dpe the stereotyp, relatnships wh or between bisexual, gay, or lbian dividuals are likely more siar to heterosexual relatnships than most people thk. Further, bisexual, lbian, and gay people are no different the extent to which they're attracted to nsensual non-monogamy (Moors, Rub, Matsick, Ziegler, & Conley, 2014).

THE CHALLENG OF GAY MEN RELATNSHIP AND 8 WAYS TO MAKE IT EASIER

Recent years have seen a proliferatn of webs and smartphone apps signed to help gay men pursue their sexual liberatn a digal age.

HOW TO TACKLE GAY RELATNSHIP PROBLEMS

But when apps are signed to provi immediate sexual gratifitn, are they pable of servg the needs of gay men seekg love and long-term relatnships?

A recent study out of France by Christian Lippe explored the nversatnal differenc between ers of Grdr and Tr (wh the former terg to gay men, while the latter is a datg applitn ed by LGBTQ+ and heterosexual dividuals). By examg the nversatnal texts of participants who agreed to share their app chat history as well as through -person terviews, Lippe noted that gay men tend to scribe a sense of “llective prsure” to nform to the subculture’s foc on hookg up through apps like Grdr. Cumulatively, Lippe’s rearch illtrat that gay men who e apps might strategilly lim the amount of romantic nnotatn nversatns onle to ensure that the arranged meet-up remas strictly sexual nature.

If gay men th perceive the social norm on datg apps to be towards sual enunters, what is this likely to nvey to men searchg for love? A recent study out of the Universy of Toronto terviewed 41 men livg downtown Toronto to learn more about how gay men unrstood the ncept of nnectn wh the ntext of gay datg apps.

FOUR CHALLENG OF GAY DATG

More specifilly, the study was terted how participants' seekg short or long-term nnectns wh others was associated wh their sense of cln wh gay datg apps’ onle muni.

The rearch nclud that gay men felt they were expected to prent themselv on datg apps as nfint, self-assured, and whout any securi. Prev rearch has shown that many gay men wh apps prefer to prent themselv a masculized fashn by prentg their bodi as f and -shape and g short phras whout any sentimental or romantic nnotatns. Ined, femmephobia, or the soc-cultural valuatn and subordatn of femy, is mon wh ntemporary gay men’s spac and has been associated wh how men prent themselv onle.

The Universy of Toronto study nnected femmephobia to the experience of gay men on datg apps to explore how might shape the way men feel they should teract wh other gay men onle environments. In other words, might femmephobia be a ntributg factor to the social norms of onle datg for gay men that support short-term hookups and disurage the openly stated sire for a romantic relatnship?

THE CHALLENG I FACE WHEN DATG AS A GAY MAN WH A DISABILY

The study suggted that femmephobia and the femizatn of beg vulnerable, timate, emotnally pennt, and/or romantic functn together to disurage gay men om beg timate wh each other about their feelgs. Ultimately, the participants not only discsed g to nform behavurally to the app’s unwrten l but a procs of actually ternalizg certa "tths" about the gay male muny, cludg that gay men, do not "date" and that hookg up is the normative expectatn wh gay men’s sexual cultur and muni. Of urse, the gay muny fought long and hard for their sexual liberatn and at every stage have been wary of those who would attempt to lim their sexual exprsn.

At the same time, however, seems that jt as there are many gay men who seek a sexually liberated life, there are many others who seek the liberatn to love, to love eply, and to form lastg emotnal bonds that unrsre long-term romantic relatnships.

Th, don’t seem that the sir are what is missg, but rather, the platforms through which to seek and fulfill the sir while not losg a sense of nnectn and belongg to the gay muny self. The anizatn helps fluence rearch and policy, as well as rm the general public about the progrs of the ’s no secret that LGB — lbian, gay, and bisexual — dividuals face discrimatn, disadvantag, and sometim even vlence their daily liv on the basis of their sexual orientatn. Data on LGBTQ+ issu is dramatilly lackg, pecially regns where homosexualy and queer genr inty are ls accepted — the very areas where this sort of data llectn is the most need.

5 STGGL OF DATG IN THE GAY COMMUNY

And while LGB sgl say they feel safer datg onle than they do meetg people person, elements of LGBTQ+ datg culture, upled wh vlent homophobia om those targetg the muny, n make datg onle riskier for LGB sgl than straight sgl. “Gay datg apps are notor for beg toxic, pecially for mori or people who don’t f to the ‘f, mascule, young, cisgenr, and whe’ profile.

The other type of harassment LGBTQ+ people face is homophobic and transphobic people who might be targetg them through apps and onle muni. Onle daters n report this behavr and block the offendg datg profile, but few other repercsns exist for harassment the app abe n e om toxic dividuals lookg for a hookup on the apps, n also e om homophobic dividuals who go on queer-foced apps wh the tent of g harm. The prr blog postg ma clear that many bisexual dividuals experience physil- and mental-health plitns arisg om a nflux of visibily, lack of acceptance by lbian women, gay men and heterosexual dividuals, and limed support.