"Navigatg my own queerns early on whout gay iends was a mostly futile effort" wr GQ ntributor Rob LeDonne.
Contents:
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
- GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
- HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI
- I THOUGHT I DIDN'T NEED GAY FRIENDS; I WAS WRONG
- HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS
- HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND
- HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
Could gay guys be the ultimate wg men for their straight, male iends? * gay no friends *
For a long time, iendships between gay men and straight men – what some now ll “bromosexual” iendships – were unmon. Homophobia was likely one reason; another was that straight men probably assumed they didn’t have much mon wh gay men. Specifilly, we’re terted lookg at the reasons gay men and straight men bee iends (or rema iends after the gay iend out).
We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another.
GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * gay no friends *
Many straight men hated to beiend gay men, fearg harassment, rejectn om their straight iends or beg lled gay. The growg acceptance of homosexualy, however, has allayed some of the fears.
Gay men – particularly those nservative and ral environments – rema wary about tryg to beiend straight men, fearg prejudice-fueled rejectn. At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men any meangful way and, for this reason, may not try to iate a iendship. Of urse, the tradnal notn that gay men and straight men nnot be close iends is herently homophobic and unte.
We propose gay-straight male iendships are not only possible, but that they n grow to be extremely rewardg. If they’re open-md about beiendg gay men and make the effort to try to fe iendships based upon mon terts, gay men should feel more fortable reciprotg.
HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI
Heterosexual and gay men n heal and grow as a rult of their iendships. * gay no friends *
So which straight men are the most likely to beiend gay men, and vice versa?
Gay men who disclose their sexual orientatn to their straight male iends earlier life may be able to build more open and hont iendships wh them to adulthood.
I THOUGHT I DIDN'T NEED GAY FRIENDS; I WAS WRONG
* gay no friends *
Send, recent rearch has argued that genr and sexual orientatn might not be as black and whe as prevly thought, which opens up new avenu for explorg how gay and straight men n relate to one another. If a straight guy and his gay male iend are ls rigid about their masculy and sexualy, they’ll probably be more likely to discs tails about their sexual and romantic liv openly wh one another.
Recent rearch has suggted that advice sharg uld be a ccial reason that straight women seek out gay men as iends. In short, women are able to tst the datg advice om gay male iends bee they know their gay iends don’t have any ulterr motiv: They’re not tryg to hook up wh them or pete wh them for guys.
We believe that this same sort of unbiased advice sharg might also foster iendships between gay and straight men. Bee of the tst they engenr om straight women, gay men are uniquely posned to be excellent “wg men” for sgle straight men.
HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS
Every time you attend a Pri March, ftival or cent Gay Club Night, you may have noticed jt how many fellow queers live your cy. The qutn is how to fd them outsi of the special events? Follow the steps to extend your... * gay no friends *
However, straight women do tend to tst the datg advice of gay men (pecially more than advice om straight men or women). Acrdgly, straight men uld get a leg up datg om beg close iends wh gay men.
HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND
For example, a gay iend uld vouch for his straight iend’s good tentns to women. Straight men who are fortable wh their sexualy may also act as wg men for gay male iends. Jt as a gay man might be able to pass on advice about women to his straight iend, a straight man uld nnect his gay male iend wh another sirable gay man, sce neher the gay man nor his straight iend are petg for the same person.
We believe that havg a tstworthy nfidant to help wh romantic pursus is one of the major reasons straight and gay men are leavg the fort of their same-sex, same-orientatn iend groups to form “bromosexual” iendships.
I’ll never fet beg 15 years old and walkg to my first ever meetg for lbian, gay, bi, queer, and trans youth at BAGLY Boston.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
”) The close queer iends we make bee a chosen fay, wh a shared culture and inty, formg the bonds that are sential to our wellns and as gay bars and bookstor are closg left and right, many of have turned to apps to fill that gap, meang we spend more time than ever alone our rooms. LGBT2Q people exist all genrs, all cultur, and relyg on your gaydar is a good start, but expandg your queer and trans cultural referenc will boost your abili. Instagram and Twter make easier to fd other people wh the same terts, whether ’s hedgehogs or aerosol art, and there are so many homo-tastic hashtags.
Try #QueerStyle, #BlackTransExcellence, #QueerFemme, #LbianMem, #BiLove, #GenrEuphoria, #Gaysian, #LGBTTikTok. Or, add your inty to your state, school, or profsn to fd #GayMichigan or #QueerMorehoe or #TransUtah or #PansexualUK and more. That may be surprisg news if you’ve been raised a homophobic branch of your relig tradn, but I promise you—they’re out there, and they n’t wa to wele you (and you may fd really healg to brg your whole self to your fah tradn).
Here are some lks to lists of affirmg (that’s the relig buzzword for “we like the gays here”) anizatns:.