Gay and Catholic | Commonweal Magaze

Contents:

• WHAT’S LIKE TO BE GAY AND CATHOLIC? AN TERVIEW WH EVE TH
• THE GAY CATHOLIC WRER WHO CHANGED MY LIFE
• GAY AND CATHOLIC
• A REVIEW OF GAY AND CATHOLIC BY EVE TH
• THE KG OF LOVE MY SHEPHERD IS: SOME THOUGHTS THAT ARE GAY AND ALSO HAPPY
• OPN IT’S HARD TO BE GAY AND CATHOLIC. IT DON’T HAVE TO BE.
• WHY BE GRATEFUL TO BE GAY?
• REPLACG PROBLEMS WH PERSONS: EVE TH’S NEW BOOK, GAY AND CATHOLIC

WHAT’S LIKE TO BE GAY AND CATHOLIC? AN TERVIEW WH EVE TH

I wanted to wre a book which would clu some memoir ( orr to build tst, so people knew where I was g om), but which foced on the paths of love which are open to gay people the Church—pecially those paths which might be overlooked.

I wrote Tenrns: A Gay Christian’s Gui to Unlearng Rejectn and Experiencg God’s Extravagant Love (forthg November om Ave Maria Prs) for gay Christians who found that their relatnship wh God had been damaged by paful experienc or misguid teachg they’d received their church. You n thk of Gay and Catholic as a book about “horizontal love, ” the ways we love other people around , and Tenrns as a book about “vertil love, ” the love between the soul and God. I’ve known many people who were terrified of beg gay, believed they uld not possibly be gay, and, on the basis of that trmatized fear, entered heterosexual relatnships, cludg marriag.

THE GAY CATHOLIC WRER WHO CHANGED MY LIFE

But the narrative that homosexualy mt be ed by abe, and n therefore be “fixed” by healg the wounds of trma, has self ed immense harm to people who had this narrative imposed on them when didn’t f their story.

GAY AND CATHOLIC

So many people who grew up gay our church spent their formative years terrified and hidg, fearg that their attractns meant they uld never love God, that they disappoted Him, and that there was no future for them the Church, or only a future of isolatn and reprsn. Gay people are redisverg the Scriptural and historil mols wh a special urgency, bee we had never been told that there were Christian mols for the same-sex love we longed for.

Not every gay person is lled to the paths (jt as not every straight person is lled to marriage), but, my experience, knowg that there is orred same-sex love n change people’s relatnship to Scripture and Church teachg.

I thk I’ve really stated above—I believe that same-sex love n be betiful and holy; that sex is not the right exprsn of this love (sce sex is rerved for the unn of a man and a woman marriage), but n be exprsed many good ways; and that gay people need, as the techism says, “rpect, passn, and sensivy, ” which too many of have not received om our fellow Catholics. When church teach that beg gay is a choice, that’s harmful self and also may lead parents to throw their gay children out of the hoe for “disobedience, ” ntributg to the horrific number of homels LGBT teenagers. I thk the fn of “nversn therapy” that mak the most sense is that ’s therapy where one of the primary purpos is to rce homosexualy and crease heterosexualy: a therapy which “succs” n be measured by gree of heterosexualy.

A REVIEW OF GAY AND CATHOLIC BY EVE TH

I have iends who are gay and practicg Catholics who found the book spirg and helpful, and several of the prayer exercis the send half are really good—I quote one of them Tenrns. The posn you strike your article seems to agree wh those who hope to ban any type of therapy that helps persons unrstand their homosexual clatn or that attribut any environmental fluence such as trma or abe. Revoice is an ecumenil Christian nference; En Invatn is a Catholic group; and I’m volved wh the gay and lbian mistry at my church, which do a pretty good job at tryg to grow fahfulns, while welg people no matter what they believe.

I have iends who lost jobs or mistry posns bee they me out, or were outed by others—the are people who accepted their church’s teachg on sexual ethics, and sought to live by , but simply beg gay ma them “unf to serve. The homophobia I’ve experienced Catholic settgs has mostly manifted as spicn and unwillgns to listen: assumptns about my fay background (for example, speculatg on how my parents mt have ed my lbianism), sex life, or spirual life; repeated terrogatns about whether I “really” believe what I say I believe; and spicn of anythg I do to love eher another woman, or gay muni. I n’t tell you how many tim I’ve seen someone post a eply personal, heartfelt discsn of the spirual stggl they’ve experienced seekg to be fahful to Christ while growg self-acceptance and unlearng self-hatred… only to have somebody pop up the ments to rm them that beg gay is a s.

In general, if you’re discsg the Catholic sexual ethic wh a gay person (or anybody, probably), ’s good to ask yourself what you have done to make yourself tstworthy this person’s ey. There are a few good books on personal experienc of beg gay and Christian, wrten a way that’s fahful to historil Christian teachg on sexualy, but there wasn’t anythg that was foced on the different paths that one’s life uld take.

THE KG OF LOVE MY SHEPHERD IS: SOME THOUGHTS THAT ARE GAY AND ALSO HAPPY

The primary target dience is actual gay Christians who are tryg to figure out what their liv are gog to look like, and then anyone who wants to make the church more welg for gay and lbian you suggt ways for church to be more welg? And then the sendary thg would be that the troubl you experience are gog to pend somewhat on your cultural ntext, but they’re not gog to be totally alien for Catholics and is possible to build solidary both wh other gay Christians and wh the straight people who are the majory.

“There is no one who wr about the particular gifts and challeng of beg gay and Christian wh more prophetic sight, godly wisdom, humane sensivy, and sheer good humor than Eve Th. Eve Th is the award-wng thor of Gay & Catholic Eve jt released Tenrns: A Gay Christian's Gui to Unlearng Rejectn and Experiencg God's Extravagant Love, has wrten two novels, is the edor of the anthology Christ’s Body, Christ’s Wounds, and has ntributed to several books, cludg Sex and the Spirual Life.

Th has wrten on the paths of love available to gay Christians for a wi range of publitns, cludg Ameri, Amerin Conservative, Commonweal, and Christiany Today, and onle for Atlantic, New York Tim, and Washgton Post.

OPN IT’S HARD TO BE GAY AND CATHOLIC. IT DON’T HAVE TO BE.

Eventually I wrote to Th, tellg her I hoped she’d wre a book someday, llectg and distillg her posts to a format I uld easily hand to my fellow gay Christians, not to my mentn my fay members, (straight) iends, pastors, and prits.

At s heart this book, Gay and Catholic: Acceptg My Sexualy, Fdg Communy, Livg My Fah, is an extend effort to assure gay and lbian people that enterg the church will not mean the supprsn of their longgs and lov. Followg several chapters that narrate her upbrgg, cludg her g out at age 13, her days as a stunt activist, and her eventual nversn to Catholicism while an unrgraduate at Yale, Th simply exam several possible ways that gay Catholics may give and receive love while remag fahful to tradnal Christian sexual ethics. Tenrns: A Gay Christian's Gui to Unlearng Rejectn and Experiencg God's Extravagant LoveWhat would happen if gay Christians began to believe the tth about God—that he lov all people unndnally?

The book also offers guidance on livg through or reverg om the paful experienc that are all too mon gay Christian life—om faial rejectn and weaponized Christiany to ambivalence and doubt.

WHY BE GRATEFUL TO BE GAY?

Weavg her own story wh rourc, prayers, and practil actns that n help gay people tst that God lov them, Th renews our unrstandgs of kship, iendship, celibacy and unmarried life, orred love, personal tegry, solidary wh the margalized, obedience, surrenr, sanctifitn, and book is primarily for gay Christians, but also offers a wdow to their experienc and needs that will make eful for anyone pastoral re or who wants to be a better iend to the gay people they know. Already out of the closet as a lbian, Th searched for a third way the seemg two-optn system available to gay Catholics: reject Church teachg on homosexualy or reject the tth of your sexualy. Gay and Catholic: Acceptg My Sexualy, Fdg Communy, Livg My Fah is the u of Th’s searchg: what she learned studyg Christian history and theology about how gay Catholics n give and receive love, timate iendship, voted service, and rg of a 2015 Catholic Prs Award: Genr Issu Category (First Place).

As wh our other reviews, our review of Gay and Catholic will foc on two primary qutns: What do this book have to say to LGBT Christians who are livg celibacy or explorg the possibily of celibate votns?

REPLACG PROBLEMS WH PERSONS: EVE TH’S NEW BOOK, GAY AND CATHOLIC

Gay and Catholic n journey wh you whether you’re relaxg at the beach or tremblg before the meetg wh your pastor when you tend to tell him or her that you’re, uhm…er…uhm…<ep breath, exhale>… gay. When I first entered the Catholic Church I thought of my role–a lbian-gay-bisexual-queer-same-sex-attracted Christian–as havg two parts: the negative act of not havg gay sex and the posive act of tellectually unrstandg the Church’s teachgs. Many who will read this book are well aware of how ex-gay mistri and some nomatns as a whole unsel gay Christians to say that they “stggle wh same-sex attractns” stead of “intify as LGBT.