Gay and Catholic | by Eve Th | Media | First Thgs

Contents:

• WHAT’S LIKE TO BE GAY AND CATHOLIC? AN TERVIEW WH EVE TH
• THE GAY CATHOLIC WRER WHO CHANGED MY LIFE
• GAY AND CATHOLIC
• A REVIEW OF GAY AND CATHOLIC BY EVE TH
• THE KG OF LOVE MY SHEPHERD IS: SOME THOUGHTS THAT ARE GAY AND ALSO HAPPY
• OPN IT’S HARD TO BE GAY AND CATHOLIC. IT DON’T HAVE TO BE.
• WHY BE GRATEFUL TO BE GAY?
• REPLACG PROBLEMS WH PERSONS: EVE TH’S NEW BOOK, GAY AND CATHOLIC

WHAT’S LIKE TO BE GAY AND CATHOLIC? AN TERVIEW WH EVE TH

I wanted to wre a book which would clu some memoir ( orr to build tst, so people knew where I was g om), but which foced on the paths of love which are open to gay people the Church—pecially those paths which might be overlooked. I wrote Tenrns: A Gay Christian’s Gui to Unlearng Rejectn and Experiencg God’s Extravagant Love (forthg November om Ave Maria Prs) for gay Christians who found that their relatnship wh God had been damaged by paful experienc or misguid teachg they’d received their church.

THE GAY CATHOLIC WRER WHO CHANGED MY LIFE

You n thk of Gay and Catholic as a book about “horizontal love, ” the ways we love other people around , and Tenrns as a book about “vertil love, ” the love between the soul and God.

I’ve known many people who were terrified of beg gay, believed they uld not possibly be gay, and, on the basis of that trmatized fear, entered heterosexual relatnships, cludg marriag. But the narrative that homosexualy mt be ed by abe, and n therefore be “fixed” by healg the wounds of trma, has self ed immense harm to people who had this narrative imposed on them when didn’t f their story.

GAY AND CATHOLIC

So many people who grew up gay our church spent their formative years terrified and hidg, fearg that their attractns meant they uld never love God, that they disappoted Him, and that there was no future for them the Church, or only a future of isolatn and reprsn. Gay people are redisverg the Scriptural and historil mols wh a special urgency, bee we had never been told that there were Christian mols for the same-sex love we longed for.

A REVIEW OF GAY AND CATHOLIC BY EVE TH

Not every gay person is lled to the paths (jt as not every straight person is lled to marriage), but, my experience, knowg that there is orred same-sex love n change people’s relatnship to Scripture and Church teachg. I thk I’ve really stated above—I believe that same-sex love n be betiful and holy; that sex is not the right exprsn of this love (sce sex is rerved for the unn of a man and a woman marriage), but n be exprsed many good ways; and that gay people need, as the techism says, “rpect, passn, and sensivy, ” which too many of have not received om our fellow Catholics.

When church teach that beg gay is a choice, that’s harmful self and also may lead parents to throw their gay children out of the hoe for “disobedience, ” ntributg to the horrific number of homels LGBT teenagers.

THE KG OF LOVE MY SHEPHERD IS: SOME THOUGHTS THAT ARE GAY AND ALSO HAPPY

I thk the fn of “nversn therapy” that mak the most sense is that ’s therapy where one of the primary purpos is to rce homosexualy and crease heterosexualy: a therapy which “succs” n be measured by gree of heterosexualy. I have iends who are gay and practicg Catholics who found the book spirg and helpful, and several of the prayer exercis the send half are really good—I quote one of them Tenrns.

The posn you strike your article seems to agree wh those who hope to ban any type of therapy that helps persons unrstand their homosexual clatn or that attribut any environmental fluence such as trma or abe. Revoice is an ecumenil Christian nference; En Invatn is a Catholic group; and I’m volved wh the gay and lbian mistry at my church, which do a pretty good job at tryg to grow fahfulns, while welg people no matter what they believe.

OPN IT’S HARD TO BE GAY AND CATHOLIC. IT DON’T HAVE TO BE.

I have iends who lost jobs or mistry posns bee they me out, or were outed by others—the are people who accepted their church’s teachg on sexual ethics, and sought to live by , but simply beg gay ma them “unf to serve.

The homophobia I’ve experienced Catholic settgs has mostly manifted as spicn and unwillgns to listen: assumptns about my fay background (for example, speculatg on how my parents mt have ed my lbianism), sex life, or spirual life; repeated terrogatns about whether I “really” believe what I say I believe; and spicn of anythg I do to love eher another woman, or gay muni.

I n’t tell you how many tim I’ve seen someone post a eply personal, heartfelt discsn of the spirual stggl they’ve experienced seekg to be fahful to Christ while growg self-acceptance and unlearng self-hatred… only to have somebody pop up the ments to rm them that beg gay is a s.

WHY BE GRATEFUL TO BE GAY?

In general, if you’re discsg the Catholic sexual ethic wh a gay person (or anybody, probably), ’s good to ask yourself what you have done to make yourself tstworthy this person’s ey.

REPLACG PROBLEMS WH PERSONS: EVE TH’S NEW BOOK, GAY AND CATHOLIC

There are a few good books on personal experienc of beg gay and Christian, wrten a way that’s fahful to historil Christian teachg on sexualy, but there wasn’t anythg that was foced on the different paths that one’s life uld take. The primary target dience is actual gay Christians who are tryg to figure out what their liv are gog to look like, and then anyone who wants to make the church more welg for gay and lbian you suggt ways for church to be more welg?

And then the sendary thg would be that the troubl you experience are gog to pend somewhat on your cultural ntext, but they’re not gog to be totally alien for Catholics and is possible to build solidary both wh other gay Christians and wh the straight people who are the majory. “There is no one who wr about the particular gifts and challeng of beg gay and Christian wh more prophetic sight, godly wisdom, humane sensivy, and sheer good humor than Eve Th.