Dear Pnce: I’m a straight woman who married a gay man.

Contents:

• I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN
• 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN

He’s also always been hont about beg gay and has never hidn om me. Our son took the news very well and don’t re that his father was gay.

I’ve asked my hband about , and he nfirms that he’s gay, not bisexual. I have doubts that he might leave me someday for a gay relatnship like he did his ex-wife. Would you nsir him bisexual or gay?

I thk your hband que clearly nsirs himself gay, which is far more relevant to your marriage than my asssment of his sense of self. The qutn of how he se his gayns relatn to his two marriag to women, specifilly his current marriage to you, is both more salient and open-end, so I’d suggt you start by askg him to share more of his thoughts on the subject wh you. That will get you a lot further than tryg to figure out if your hband is “really” bisexual (and, implicly, whether that means you n safely hope he won’t leave you for someone else) or “really” gay (and, implicly, whether you have to fear that he’s gog to break up wh you for another man).

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

” His gayns isn’t somethg you n ntralize by beg a sufficiently good or extra-lovg wife. Megan Holgate uldn’t que believe where she was the height of the Aids crisis and she was the wag room of an ner-cy STI clic, equented by those most at risk of HIV: gay men, jectg dg ers, sex, as she had been, a monogamo married had felt “too ashamed” to ask her doctor for the HIV tt.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

A posive rult, back then, would have been a ath the clic a iendly gay unsellor asked Megan to step to his room and asked her if everythg was OK. “This poor gay guy was the target for all my built-up anger. As her dad pulled up she opened her purse, fat wh not, and phed them all to the bewilred man’s hands before beg whisked is one of a potentially dyg breed of women: those who married closeted gay men.

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

“Some women ntact the service before their hband is even aware they know he’s gay, ” she says. Never once did she spect he was gay.

I’m not gay but really nfed and I thk I need you to move back to Atralia so I n work myself out.

Lucy, now 24, hid at school the fact her dad was gay. I don’t believe bisexualy, I thk he was gay, ” she says. “When you love someone and you know you’re gay, you don’t marry them.

MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

And many of the men, embolned by the sense of eedom and h excement afford them by disverg the gay scene, pletely scrib the impact had on her children. “My sons’ iends would e over and ask, is your dad gay?

”Siarly, Patricia took issue wh the blok who took her hband out for a beer so they didn’t look homophobic. ”Jt like many gay men do, their wiv n go through nial perds, Roxanne says, believg they n work thgs out. “I know my hband is gay, he n’t stop himself om beg wh men, ’s impossible.