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i don t believe in gay marriage

Jenni Rivera's sister oppos gay marriage and is fendg her beliefs new vio posted onle.

Contents:

BEG AGAST GAY MARRIAGE DON'T MAKE YOU A HOMOPHOBE

Wh two Supreme Court lgs on same-sex marriage expected, why are some gay people opposed to ? * i don t believe in gay marriage *

The Huffgton Post’s Pl Rshenbh quickly wrote up a rponse, sayg that “The hard realy that Cardal Dolan and all Christians need to face up to is that the Catholic Church along wh every other church whether Orthodox, Prottant or Catholic has been horrifilly, persistently and vehemently anti-gay for almost all of s history.

If Rshenbh is right, then that means my parents are anti-gay, many of my relig iends (of all fahs) are anti-gay, the Pope is anti-gay, and—y, we’ll go here—first-century, Jewish theologian J is anti-gay. That’s spe the fact that while some relig people don’t support gay marriage a sacramental sense, many of them are favor of same-sex civil unns and full rights for the parti volved. ” I have no rervatns about my sexualy, so as far as the accatn of homophobia go: that gay ship has already sailed to Disneyland, wh a speedo-clad Tom Daley rved to the ’s “anti-gay” to qutn the arguments of marriage-equaly advot, and if the word “homophobic” is exhsted on me or on pole dissenters, then what should we ll someone who beats up gay people, or prefers not to hire them?

“IF YOU DON’T LIKE GAY MARRIAGE, DON’T GET GAY MARRIED!”

Wh so many optns for gay Christians, why stick wh the Catholic church? * i don t believe in gay marriage *

Simply havg rervatns about gay marriage might be anti-gay marriage, but if the rervatns are articulated a rpectful way, I see no reason to dismiss the person holdg those rervatns as anti-gay people. When we hastily label our opposn wh terms like “anti-gay, ” we make an unwarranted leap om the first scriptn to the me, regnizg the distctn between opposg gay marriage and opposg gay people is a natural outgrowth of an ternal distctn: When to my inty, I take re not to rce myself to my sexual orientatn.

THE GAY PEOPLE AGAST GAY MARRIAGE

Where should we, as Christians, stand on gay marriage? What is a Christian rponse to the same-sex marriage bate? * i don t believe in gay marriage *

If ’s te that my gayns is not the most fundamental aspect of my inty as Brandon, then seems to me that someone uld iologilly disapprove of my sexual exprsn while simultaneoly lovg and affirmg my larger inty. This is what Pope Francis was gettg at when he asked, “When God looks at a gay person, do he endorse the existence of this person wh love, or reject and nmn this person?

Maybe his distctn between Brandon and Gay Brandon is misguid, but isn’t necsarily malic, and that’s the Schenck, current chairman of the Evangelil Church Alliance, told me that while he believ that marriage is between one man and one woman, this belief is a “source of ternal nflict” and “nsternatn” for him.

HOW SHOULD A CHRISTIAN RPOND TO “GAY MARRIAGE”?

* i don t believe in gay marriage *

If he were disgted by gay people, or thought they should be imprisoned, or wanted to see the gayns beat out of them, then that might implite his human inty, part bee would suggt a troublg lack of passn. I need more a gay man thkg through the issue of marriage equaly, I’ve e to the ncln that, although ’s a no-braer for me, this issue is plited to a great number of people. To monize as anti-gay the lns of Amerins currently dog the difficult work of thkg through their nvictns is, my opn, very ’s te that as an LGBT person, I am Otherized agast the sexual norm.

I fully support marriage between two people who love each other, whether they are male or female, black or whe, straight or gay, but I believe cludg gay ont of marriage is not need. We believe that homosexual unns are nsistent wh God’s sign for human sexualy as set forth the openg pag of the Bible and the words of J Himself: “From the begng of creatn, God ma them male and female.

I'M GAY, BUT I'M NOT SWCHG TO A CHURCH THAT SUPPORTS GAY MARRIAGE

The “abomatns” ment most likely was Kle sayg gay “marriage” is an abomatn unto the Lord, and not the on who pursue , but that distctn between the actn and the person who partak the actn is equently lost on the willfully aggrieved.

I’M GAY AND I’M AGAST GAY MARRIAGE

Archbishop Vcenzo Paglia, head of the Pontifil Council for the Fay, also said the church should do more to protect gays and lbians om discrimatn untri where homosexualy is illegal. After France's first same-sex marriage, and a vote the UK Parliament which puts England and Wal on urse for gay weddgs next summer, two US Supreme Court lgs expected soon uld hasten the advance of same-sex marriage across the Atlantic. A send lg will be ma on the legaly of California's gay marriage while favourable lgs will spark celebratns among pro-marriage supporters across the US, some gay men and women will stead see as a victory for a patriarchal stutn that bears no historil relevance to lbians are opposed to marriage on femist grounds, says Cldia Card, a profsor of philosophy at the Universy of Wisns-Madison, bee they see as an stutn that serv the terts of men more than women.

WAS I WRONG TO SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE?

"Gay activists should stead put their energi to environmental issu like climate change, bee there's a chance to make a morally more fensible and more urgent difference. A muny ma up of lns of people is bound to hold a range of views on any subject, but will surprise many that some of the people who on the face of stand to ga the most om gay marriage should oppose . And the ntrary views are not often the UK, Daily Mail lumnist Andrew Pierce says that for speakg out agast gay marriage the past, he has been attacked as a homophobe and Uncle Tom, spe a long history of champng gay strongly believ that civil partnerships - troduced 2005 to give same-sex upl equal legal rights - are enough.

" He thks there are more gay people agreement wh him than people may thk - at a dner party he hosted for 11 gay iends, only one was favour of marriage, one was uncid and the rt were agast, he says. A webse lled Homovox featured 12 gay men and women opposed to , wh some of them cg a belief that children benef most om oppose-sex many years, the nservative stutn of marriage was never on the gay mpaign agenda, says activist Yasm Nair, who -found a group provotively named Agast Equaly. But beme an objective the early 1990s - regretfully, her view - when the movement emerged om the seismic shock of the Aids epimic, pleted of polil gay people who are favour of same-sex marriage believe anythg short of marriage is not rarely hear arguments agast by gay people themselv, says Stampp Corb, publisher of magaze LGBT Weekly, who se strong parallels wh the civil rights movement.

WHERE SHOULD WE, AS CHRISTIANS, STAND ON GAY MARRIAGE?

"So when I hear LGBT people sayg the same thg: 'I don't thk gay and lbian people should get married', is different om slav sayg: 'I don't thk slav should have the abily to get married'? And the US, the notn of "separate but equal" rekdl memori of segregatn and the creatn of send-class so many different pots of view on a subject that has long divid Ameri, perhaps the bate jt unrl the obv - gay people are like everyone n follow the Magaze on Twter and on Facebook. While the print has nsistently supported civil rights for gay upl — pepperg his ments wh specifics such as hospal visatn, transfer of property and Social Secury benefs — his discsn of marriage has differed.

JIMMY CARTER: ‘I BELIEVE THAT J WOULD APPROVE OF GAY MARRIAGE’

"(But) is my obligatn not only as an elected official a pluralistic society, but also as a Christian, to rema open to the possibily that my unwillgns to support gay marriage is misguid, jt as I nnot claim fallibily my support of abortn rights. Still, a 2007 Democratic primary bate sponsored by a gay rights group and a gay-oriented ble TV channel, he spoke stead about his support for civil unns wh "all the benefs that are available for a legally sanctned marriage" — but not for legal regnn of "marriage" between same-sex upl.

ROSIE RIVERA: 'I DON'T BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE', REGRETS GOG TO LBIAN WEDDG [VIDEO]

He offered an explanatn that would prage his 2012 shift: "I thk that is an issue that I wrtle wh and thk about bee I have a whole host of iends who are gay partnerships. This sheltered upbrgg may help expla my sunny unrgraduate nfince that even though I knew of lerally nobody else who had ever tried to be both unashamedly gay and obediently Catholic, I was totally gog to do .

I hope I've learned a few thgs about the dangers of sophomoric self-nfince: There are tim when my relatnship wh the Catholic Church feels a lot like Margaret Atwood's feroc ltle poem, You f to me like a hook to an eyea fish hook an open eyeAnd I've met many other gay or queer or same-sex-attracted Christians, all flavors of Christiany. We disagree (sometim sharply) among ourselv on the bt rponse to the growg cultural acceptance and polil succs of gay marriage; but before polics and even before culture, our rponse mt be personal. ) But I do thk was okay to enter the Church whout beg able to jtify all of her teachgs on my the time of my baptism the church's teachg on homosexualy was one of the on I unrstood the least.

I tried to expla somethg about how God uld give fertile heterosexual upl a baby if He wanted to, and my relative, unsurprisgly, asked why He uldn't give a gay uple a baby.

JOEL OSTEEN TALKS PREACHG S, MATERIALISM, AND GAY MARRIAGE

That's a quick and dirty summary, but seems to me more rponsive to the texts, more willg to fer to historil Christian wns, and more attuned to the importance and meang of our bodi than most of the fens I've read of Christian gay beg embedd Catholicism lors my readg of the Bible—that is actually what tradn is supposed to do—and shap my sense of which elements of Christian history are sential and which are wanrgs om the path. I've wrten about possible approach to unselg Catholic schools; anti-bullyg efforts; my problems wh some of the language the Church about homosexualy; reprsive ias of genr which would leave no room for St. Renewg this Christian unrstandg of iendship would help to make the Church a place where gay people have more opportuni for voted, honored love—not Church needs to grow and change rponse to societal chang.

HOW SHOULD CHRISTIANS RPOND TO GAY FRIENDS OR FAY MEMBERS?

Sanrs, the IU law profsor, explaed further: If stat merely want to "protect marriage" by nyg same-sex upl om weddg, then why also refe to regnize gay marriag om other stat, prohib civil unns and ny domtic partnership benefs?

PRIT TELLS CATHOLICS HOW TO RPOND WHEN ASKED IF THEY SUPPORT GAY ‘MARRIAGE’

In the se of surrogacy or sperm donatn, I would not support this choice for any uple, whether gay or straight, as volv a third person the relatnship, which the Bible scrib as adultery. The posts, and the way they spread across the ter, spoke to jt how much the culture at large wants to see queer people the better part of a , gay marriage was the rallyg cry for the queer liberatn movement: The theory held that this major legal tone would burst the dam and give way to a flood of total equaly. “It feels like all the gay people are shg to get married, and what is marriage but a heterosexual ncept, one that is built on a history of female opprsn and patriarchal ntrol?

And when I beme a polil lumnist the early 2000s—spe beg the “nservative” at a good-sized newspaper—I was the only one at the paper (as far as I n rell) who unequivolly backed gay marriage publicly. Abbott, Jdal, and their alli are posg a right to discrimate—for lol officials to refe to nduct same-sex weddgs, for photographers and bakers to refe to do bs wh gay people, for weddg planners to advertise that no gay upl need apply. Of urse, I do disagree wh homosexual practice (or any pre/extra maral sexual practice), but I mata a logil and ratnal reason for my opposn (the subject for another different time).

“I thk J would enurage any love affair if was hont and scere and was not damagg to anyone else and I don’t see that gay marriage damag anyone else, ” Carter, who scrib himself as a born-aga Christian, told HuffPost Live. Although I love and embrace my iend Elena, some of my fay members, some employe, everyone that is gay that I know, I love them, but bee I love them and embrace them, do not mean I have to agree wh their liftyle.

UNED METHODIST CHURCH ANNOUNC PROPOSAL TO SPL OVER GAY MARRIAGE

| (Photo: screengrab)Joel Osteen, megachurch pastor and New York Tim bt-sellg thor, was prsed durg a recent terview about his stance on homosexualy and asked if he would ever e out support of same-sex marriage. ""God said, 'Love God and love your neighbor as you love yourself, '" explaed add that seems that sometim people of fah and those Christian mistry get stuck on homosexualy, when the Bible scrib a variety of ss.

BIN CHANGED HIS MD ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE AFTER MEETG THIS HOLLYWOOD EXECUTIVE

Kaltenbach’s unique story is tailed his new book Msy Grace: How a Pastor wh Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Whout Sacrificg Convictn and land him on the ont page of the New York Tim June. However, to bate the issue serly and tthfully, we mt seek an hont picture of what our opponents actually believe — workg om what we thk they believe is neher helpful nor there are people of many diverse beliefs and nvictns — cludg gay and lbian people — who oppose same-sex marriage, here are 10 foundatnal tths that rm the tradnal, orthodox Christian belief. For stance, 45% of adults the Silent Generatn (those born between 1928 and 1945) favor allowg gays and lbians to wed, pared wh 74% of Millennials (born between 1981 and 1996).

Sce then, several other European untri – cludg England and Wal, France, Ireland, all of Sndavia, Spa and, most recently, Atria, Germany and Malta – have legalized gay marriage.

The term “homosexualy, ” while sometim nsired anachronistic the current era, is the most applible and easily translatable term to e when askg this qutn across societi and languag and has been ed other cross-natnal studi, cludg the World Valu Survey.

HOW HILLARY CLTON EVOLVED ON GAY MARRIAGE

Dpe major chang laws and norms surroundg the issue of same-sex marriage and the rights of LGBT people around the world, public opn on the acceptance of homosexualy society remas sharply divid by untry, regn and enomic velopment. In many of the untri surveyed, there also are differenc on acceptance of homosexualy by age, tn, e and, some stanc, genr – and several s, the differenc are substantial. For example, some untri, those who are affiliated wh a relig group tend to be ls acceptg of homosexualy than those who are unaffiliated (a group sometim referred to as relig “non”).

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* I DON T BELIEVE IN GAY MARRIAGE

I’m Gay and I’m Agast Gay Marriage - The Doe</tle><meta name="article:published_time" ntent="2020-07-24T06:00:00+0000"/><meta name="thor" ntent="Barrie Cradshaw"/><meta name="scriptn" ntent="The se for wedlock not beg all ’s cracked up to be, for queer and straight people alike."/><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="The se for wedlock not beg all ’s cracked up to be, for queer and straight people alike."/><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="og:image:alt" ntent="Two men gettg married"/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="I’m Gay and I’m Agast Gay Marriage"/><meta property="og:type" ntent="article"/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image"/><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@TheDoe"/><meta name="twter:scriptn" ntent="The se for wedlock not beg all ’s cracked up to be, for queer and straight people alike."/><meta name="twter:imageUrl" ntent="><script type="applitn/ld+json">{"@ntext":","@type":"Article","maEntyOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"},"headle":"I’m Gay and I’m Agast Gay Marriage","datePublished":"2020-07-24T06:00:00+0000","dateModified":"2020-07-24T06:00:00+0000","thor":{"@type":"Person","name":"Barrie Cradshaw"},"publisher":{"@type":"Organizatn","name":"The Doe","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"}},"image":[",",",","],"articleBody":"I was workg om home on a weekday afternoon when a iend dropped round the hop I'd be able to enterta her, spe the work pilg up on my sk and the unanswered emails screamg my box. We sat down the livg room, where I curled my legs unrneath me and watched her warm her hands on the cup of ffee I’d jt ma her. As I half-listened to the stream of mundane rmatn g out of her, I ma a to-do list my head: reply to Cathy, make not for tomorrow’s meetg, read that stunt’s draft. By the time I returned to what she was sayg, she was discsg marriage. Someone she worked wh had recently end their 14-year marriage after an affair. It was msy: hurt egos, kids ught the middle and a risg fancial st. “I’ll never get married,” I said, whout a thought. My iend blew on her still-too-hot ffee, a remr of how slowly time was passg. “Never say never,” she said, her voice oddly sual as she dismissed me wh three simple words. “You never know where you’ll be a few years.” She seemed ignorant that she had jt outled one of the most quoted arguments agast marriage: divorce.\r\nNot Everyone Dreams About Their Weddg Day\r\nThe thg is, I did know. I hadn't been raised to thk of marriage as aspiratnal. Instead, I was raised by a sgle father who disuraged relatnships of any kd. He built up a small world, one that was imperable to outsirs. We saw our extend fay once a year, he never dated and he disuraged the pursu of romance over tn. Once, when I was eight years old and still unsure of my sexualy, I asked when I should have my first girliend. “In your twenti,” he said, “when you’re done wh school.” Through watchg him, I had learned the value of pennce and a particular type of workg-class emotnal reprsn that was hard to shake. I was never que fortable when someone else paid for dner. I had also grown up queer, qutng my sexualy and genr inty thlsly. For the first twenty-one years of my life, marriage wasn’t an optn that was actually available to me. There were civil partnerships, but their perceived stat, both culturally and polilly, was send-class to marriage. So while my straight peers dreamed of whe drs and quat untrysi church, I checked out. I thought about sex and exploratn. I thought about my future, about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go. I thought aimlsns and the fact that I floated between potential profsns, unable to moor myself to anyone, was the biggt issue facg me. Marriage was never even part of my plan. Now, my late twenti, marriage is an ever-prent specter. Morngs go by scrollg on Instagram, which is often filled wh the lite fgers of young women adorned wh diamonds that uld sk a ship. The women, who are often burned wh makg the announcement, ptn their photos “I Said Y,” alongsi an engagement rg emoji. Then there are photos of bridal ftgs, weddg fairs, pk champagne, hen nights, stag parti and nuptial statns, before the eventual walk down the aisle. What I began to notice more and more, though, were the LGBTQ+ people engagg this type of behavr and the way that type of ntent often went viral. On Twter, I saw a vio of two women at Disneyland. One pulled out a rg and got down on her kne. The other screamed and pulled a rg om her cksack too. I read Tr bs of men lookg for “hband material.” I saw women tux ont of the altar and men posg outsi church a shower of rice. The posts, and the way they spread across the ter, spoke to jt how much the culture at large wants to see queer people married. For the better part of a , gay marriage was the rallyg cry for the queer liberatn movement: The theory held that this major legal tone would burst the dam and give way to a flood of total equaly. Then, when fally happened var plac across the world, this hard-fought-for pary felt anticlimactic. If anythg, created another stick wh which to bash nonnformists while fuelg the already tense rpectabily polics wh the LGBTQ+ muny. Much like send-wave femism, the queer liberatn movement was now keenly aware of what “type” of queer bt-served progrs. Was the hypersexualized gay that uld be spun by right-wg punds as perverted and predatory? Or was the sweet nocent gay dreamg of one day gettg hched?\r\nI Don’t Thk Gay People Should Get Married (or Straight People)\r\nA month or two after that nversatn, I met up wh another iend for a walk. The heat was opprsive, and my back dampened wh sweat wh each step I took. As we ught up, I listened to her lay out her life to me—work, fay, prsur and assorted strs—until we got onto the topic of her boyiend. She was a long-distance relatnship and stgglg wh isolatn. The post-universy shift, where everyone eher go home to renfigure, transplants themselv to the pal or follows a job offer, had left the two of them hundreds of apart. The qutn was not only how they would navigate their current posn—g FaceTime, Skype and expensive tra journeys—but also their future stat. Where would they settle down? My iend suggted that movg together would most certaly lead to marriage, and she had cid she was fortable wh that. She saw for herself and always had. She'd attend a Catholic school, after all. “What about you?” she asked. “What about me?” “Do you thk you’ll get married?” \"I don't thk gay people should get married,\" I said a tone harsher than I tend. \"At least, the polil sense.\" She looked at me, puzzled. “Surely, you’re jokg?” she said. Marriage was the abstract for me. I had no long-distance boyiend and so, annoyed that I had to nsir my cisn relatn to hers, I beme oddly fensive. “I’m jt not sure we’ve thought through,” I said. “It feels like all the gay people are shg to get married, and what is marriage but a heterosexual ncept, one that is built on a history of female opprsn and patriarchal ntrol? How n gay people f wh a stcture that wasn’t built to clu them whout promisg?” She was still silent. Over the past few months, I had been readg and rmg myself about the polics of gay marriage. I was marchg towards 27, and I realized that I would have to heavily fend my cisn not to marry for the next few years. I'm the last sgle adult the fay; th, I need the ammunn. It seemed that most people st me as a bter queer who was turng down somethg I had not yet been offered. As if, when the offer did e along, I would be grateful that someone had e to rcue me om the stew of rentment and lonels I was broilg . They arrogantly assumed their heteronormative predictns would prove uful and I would eventually succumb to their way of thkg. It didn’t seem to occur to them that my disavowal of marriage didn’t mean I would live my life alone. It didn’t mean I uldn’t be wh someone for a long time, or that we uldn't draw up legal ntracts regardg -owned property or how we would spl up assets if we broke up. To them, the choice was eher marriage or life as a spster. My iend took a ep breath and cid she wanted to move on. But I wasn’t done. “I mean, don’t you thk ’s fucked up?” I went on. “Queer people spend their adolcence beg treated like sh, lled nam, beaten up, and then when they get olr, they’re so nsc of what the straight majory thks. So what? They get married as if to say, ‘I’m jt like you, please stop hatg me.’ It’s super weird. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I give no weight to nservative objectns to . Fuck them. But, I don’t know, I thk ’s more plex than people realize.” “Isn’t marriage about love?” she asked, absently, hopg this brief terlu to radil social polics was g to an end. I didn’t know if was worth enterg to the bate around marriag as transactnal and the ia of “love” beg ed as an stutnal sellg pot. So we walked on.\r\nQueer People Can’t Be Expected to Fix a Straight Instutn\r\nFor a long time, there has been a femist argument agast marriage, and now there is a queer one too. In her book Trick Mirror, Jia Tolento poss that there is room to change the genred implitns of marriage bee, the wake of Obergefell v. Hodg, same-sex marriage, “renfigured as an stutn that uld be entered to on genr-equal terms.” Relyg on queers to revalize a heterosexual stutn, rather than allowg them to create their own, is problematic. We're not gog to e and Queer Eye an outdated tradn by puttg a shy metallic bomber jacket and teachg to love self. That is not the path to queer liberatn. The view that LGBTQ+ people and straight people are now equal Wtern society is a blurry illn. We’re now allowed to engage tradnally straight activi such as marriage or raisg children, and while the are sential legal rights, they aren't precisely equaly. They merely equate to assiatn, or the right to be treated fairly if you nform to the stctur already place. This means that LGBTQ+ people who don’t wish to enter to marriag—pecially those who might be non-monogamo or “unnventnal” romantic arrangements—are judged differently and not offered the same social stat who follow straight tradns. It is no mistake that marriage offers certa legal and social advantag that no other agreement n. In that way, marriage is centivized to gays and straights alike who seek legal secury for their children, healthre benefs and surance payouts. But, I believe this speaks to how we should offer alternativ—a straight female iend of me recently talked to me about how she would much rather have a civil partnership. “All the benefs whout the patriarchal history,” she lled . I am cled to agree. The queer femist wrer Audre Lor wrote that when tryg to build the visn of your future wh the nf of a racist patriarchy, \"Only the most narrow perimeters of change are possible and allowable.\" But how do that affect queer people? Have we, as queer people, given up any hope of formg our own l now that we have the right to abi by someone else's?\r\nThe Pater Problem\r\nIn the summer of 2018, I dated a pater for two months. At no pot did we talk about marriage (why would we?), but that didn't stop the ia om perlatg amongst my iends. He was, on paper, a perfect match for me. He was Amerin, an artist, chilled-out enough to balance my nros and ocsnally even thoughtful. To others, seemed that I'd found my match—and that was . I had done what every sgle person was supposed to do: I found a potential end to my sgledom. Though, as the weeks passed by, beme creasgly clear that I was unnerved by the prospect of monogamy and the ia of lifelong mment. Even the hypothetil, marriage was terrifyg. It felt like I wasn’t jt talkg about the pater as he was, but also as he would be. Would his stterbraed nature prove annoyg the future? Would I eventually fd the weed smokg tirome? Would we be happy together, forever, a three-bedroom, semi-tached the suburbs? I felt like I was havg a pre-approved future forced upon me—a quasi-heterosexual life that felt like would close on me wh s mortgag, baby cloth and shared cemetery plots. Could I spend the rt of my life wh the pater? Doubtful. Was possible to know that after two months? No. So, why then was I gog sane over lifelong patibily? I was nsirg his potential through the lens of heteronormativy, subnscly asssg our whatevership by heterosexual standards. Then, when end, felt more like a failure than the two-month romp that was. Would have felt that way if the prsure of marriage or longevy weren’t so prevalent? My disda for marriage is born om a nfluence of reasons, some personal and some polil. Mostly, however, down to the fact I’m not ma for , and was not ma for me. Yet, I am expected to want . The ia of mak me anx. (While wrg this say, my right ankle broke out a strs rash.) But also mak me angry: angry about a lack of unrstandg om heterosexuals who ntually promote marriage as the pnacle, and mad that ’s me who’s expected to alter my perceptn, rather than them. Instead of dog their part dismantlg the heteronormative patriarchy and the systems of opprsn, they ask that I, as a queer person, enter to their stutn and try to galvanize —to make ol aga as if were a '90s tracksu or Polaroid mera. That day when my iend rang my doorbell as I was tryg to work, I realized how ltle sense the whole thg mak. My iend was mourng the ath of a marriage bee we see marriage as succs and divorce as a failure. What if, as queer people, we were able to opt out of that, and create our own systems of succs and failure as we see f? What if you happily spend 20 years of your life wh someone and then break up? Is that failure? What if were normal for people to spl and move on when thgs beme a ltle stale or were able to spread their wgs sexually whout the curta-twchg neighbors gettg cur? What if were normal not to expect all thgs om one person, if society were set up to value close iendships and nurture them alongsi romantic on? Why not let queer people figure out that new visn? Let make our own l and not bend to someone else's. When she fished her ffee, she stood up and ma to leave. I followed her out to the hallway and slked around her to open the door. She stood still for a moment, lookg out onto the street. I wonred what she was thkg. She turned me to, hugged me briefly and head off to the afternoon. I sat back down at my sk, opened my box, and got back to work, but I uldn’t shake what she’d said. Never, I thought fiantly. Never, never, never. 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