Urban Dictnary: notgays

Contents:

• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• 'NOT GAY' -- A BOOK WH AN INTRIGUG THEORY ON MALE SCHOOL SPORTS HAZG
• CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?
• SYNONYMS FOR NOT GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• AM I GAY?
• NOT GAY
• NOTGAYS

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label.

Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex.

'NOT GAY' -- A BOOK WH AN INTRIGUG THEORY ON MALE SCHOOL SPORTS HAZG

Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia. For example, gay men the Mormon fah are moral nflict. Durg the’90s, I beme a “gay-affirmative therapist.

I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them. Beg a gay man, I was tryg to brg them to where I was at. Durg this time, a man don’t see himself as gay, only homosexual.

The term gay is too affirmative, and they are not ready to accept . I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man.

CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight. Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg.

Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such.

SYNONYMS FOR NOT GAY

Hetero-Emotnal and Homosexual. I thk of them as beg hetero-emotnal homosexuals.

I have to adm, I've not read a new book lled "Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, " by Jane Ward, an associate profsor of genr and sexualy studi at Universy of California Riversi.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

Not Gay thsts ep to a world where straight guy-on-guy actn is not a myth but a realy: there’s aterny and ary hazg ruals, where new recs are ma to [um, e your imagatn].... By unrstandg their same-sex sexual practice as meangls, accintal, or even necsary, straight whe men n perform homosexual ntact heterosexual ways. The sex acts are not slippag to a queer way of beg or exprsns of a sired but unarticulated gay inty.

Manley alleg that the hazg has been gog on "for a while" and that the "homoerotic vlence" associated wh the school's football program is "strange. But seems like a msage needs to e directly to the boys that first, forcg yourself physilly on anybody is a bad thg, and send, if you do have a sire to have a sexual experience wh another male, please do wh someone who is also willg, and as Jane Ward might tell you, don't worry that means you're gay for life.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

Relig fundamentalists who believe homosexualy is a matter of choice nsir obv that gay people n reverse their cisns.

The oppose mp argu that gays are "born that way, " and th that sexual reorientatn therapy is effective, as well as cel and the latter perspective hs closer to the mark, the science of sexualy supports a more measured stance. There are no verified s of formerly gay people pletely riddg themselv of same-sex attractn, but do appear possible for some people who are predisposed to same-sex attractn to expand their sexual repertoire — velop attractns for oppose-sex partners as well, and even opt for the oppose sex exclively. As Diamond noted January the Archiv of Sexual Behavr, femal' sexual fluidy may emerge om the fdg that, across the board, they are sexually aroed by imag of both men and women (whereas men are typilly aroed only by members of their preferred sex) erotic plasticy may expla why women wh same-sex predisposns report better succs adjtg to heterosexual liftyl than gay men do.

AM I GAY?

"Lastly, gay people aren't really "born that way" the sense of havg same-sex attractns om the moment of birth. Sexual orientatn cements around puberty, and acrdg to Gelf Rieger, a sexual orientatn rearcher at Cornell Universy, " is que possible that there are several fluenc on formg a homosexual orientatn. [Why Are There Gay Men?

But nsirg that very few scientists view homosexualy as a problem needg fixg, will the clil reorientatn therapi ever be veloped? Disregardg all evince that the ex-gay movement is credibly damagg to more than 90% of those who unrgo "treatment" (bee they clearly jt didn't believe God enough), Settg Captiv Free wants you to know that you were not "born this way.

" Homosexualy is a s that you need to purge om your system, and the only way to do is to follow their three-parts-a-day the app is only downloadable om Google Play (iTun and the 69, 822+ people who petned them don't believe nversn therapy for some reason), there is an abridged versn available on the mistry’s webse. But Hont About Your S (But Not TOO Hont): Adm that you have homosexual tennci, but don’t say anythg else about .

NOT GAY

Stop Callg Your Homosexualy an "Alternative Liftyle": It's "Wicked, " "Evil, " and a "S": The are the only thgs you should ever ll om now on, preferably hhed ton. Even better, feel ee to refer to your homosexualy wh water-based metaphors: It's a "broken cistern" that will never satisfy your thirst.

NOTGAYS

Change For the Right Reasons (the Glory Of God): After all, homosexualy is nothg but "lt, porn, and sexual immoraly, " ss that are applible only to gay people and never to straight on. Always Read Scripture, But Only the Parts We Tell You to: Who knew curg homosexualy uld be so much like dog high school homework?

Remove Yourself From Anythg Even Remotely Gay: Don't watch porn (aga, 's only a gay thg), don't go on gay webs, and most of all, certaly don't associate wh gay people. Any of those thgs might make you feel like your homosexualy is a natural part of your inty and n be accepted by those around you.

Realize That Beg Homosexual Mak You Feel Alone Fet that we told you to shut yourself away om most of the world, and ignore the ia that maybe gay people feel so alone bee of the discrimatory and hateful attus that they face, helped by people like . Try not beg so gay. Rencile Wh Those Who Tried to Help You Stop Beg Gay: All those people who lled you "faggot" and told you that you were gog to Hell?