I'm Not Gay, Straight or Bi | Psychology Today

Contents:

• NOT GAY, NOT STRAIGHT: MEET THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO REFE TO FE THEIR SEXUALY
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• GROWG UP HIP-HOP: I’M NOT STRAIGHT AND I’M NOT GAY
• I'M NOT GAY, STRAIGHT OR BI
• GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT
• AM I GAY?
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• IF I AM NOT STRAIGHT OR GAY, WHO AM I?
• PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT
• AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?

NOT GAY, NOT STRAIGHT: MEET THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO REFE TO FE THEIR SEXUALY

Everyone experienc their sexual orientatn differently – some people know when they're very young that they are gay, lbian or bisexual. Many teens have sexual experienc wh the same sex but don't nsir themselv bisexual, gay or lbian. Sexual behavr simply refers to what you've done sexually – someone n be lbian, gay, bisexual or straight regardls of their sexual behavr.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

What n I do about harassment of those who are bisexual, lbian or gay?

Do beg lbian, bisexual or gay put me at greater risk for STIs? For19-year-old psychology stunt Greta Warren, the qutn of whether she f herself as gay or straight is a meangls terms, she believ, are jt labels. "It's somethg I found tratg durg the marriage referendum wh everyone mentg on and celebratg the gay and lbian right to marriage, wh ltle to no reference to everyone else on the sexualy spectm, " she might sound unual, but fact Greta's viewpot is one that more and more of her ntemporari share.

A poll published the UK last week by YouGov showed that jt 46pc of 18 to 24-year-olds nsired themselv to be exclively straight, but only 6pc classed themselv as homosexual. Those who rated a zero were emed exclively heterosexual, while the people who rated a six exclively homosexual.

GROWG UP HIP-HOP: I’M NOT STRAIGHT AND I’M NOT GAY

"I'm neher gay nor straight, not a ltle of both. I will never fet the pths of prsn I faced when I felt like I didn't f 'gay or straight'.

"A lot of young people are more fortable to not intify any one strict tegory, " says Ois McKenna of youth webse "But 's te that they might also intify a unique kd of discrimatn, and even rejectn om gay or straight people.

I'M NOT GAY, STRAIGHT OR BI

For example, gay men tend to make iends wh women more easily than heterosexual men do, while straight men might be more fortable hangg out wh other men. You may be straight, gay, or somewhere the middle (bisexual or bicur).

Some people thk of themselv as straight even if they ocsnally feel attracted to (or have even had relatnships wh) people of the same genr, and some people nsir themselv gay even if they have felt some attractn to/had relatnships wh people of another genr. If you know your iend is fortable talkg about their sexualy, try askg somethg like, “When did you first figure out that you are straight/gay/bisexual?

In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. If the sufferer is heterosexual, then the thought may be that they are homosexual. If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight.

GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT

” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight). For those wh thoughts of beg homosexual, part of the distrs mt surely be social orig.

Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng.

I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt. Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg.

AM I GAY?

Observg themselv for evince of “lookg, ” talkg, walkg, drsg, or gturg like someone who is eher gay or straight. Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person.

Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to. How n I tell if I’m really gay (or straight)? Can you sudnly turn to a homosexual (or heterosexual) even if you have never felt or acted that that way?

If I get sexual sensatns when viewg sexual material of an oppose orientatn do mean I am gay (or straight)?

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

A typil example would be a heterosexual man who experienc an erectn while lookg at gay eroti. This reactn is strengthened by the rrect belief that homosexual cu never stimulate heterosexuals. Avoidg standg close to, touchg or bshg agast members of the same sex (or oppose sex if the sufferer is gay).

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Not readg or lookg at vios news reports books or articl havg anythg to do wh gay people or other sexual subjects. Never sayg the words “gay, ” “homosexual, ” (or “straight”) or any other related term. Tryg to not look or act effemately (if a man), or a mascule way (if a woman), (or vice versa if the sufferer is gay).

Not drsg ways that would make one look effemate (if a man), or mascule (if a woman), (aga vice versa if the sufferer is gay). Avoidg associatg wh anyone who may be gay or who seems to lean that directn (if the sufferer is heterosexual). The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight).

IF I AM NOT STRAIGHT OR GAY, WHO AM I?

Watchg vios on gay them or about gay characters. Visg gay meetgs shops, browsg gay bookstor, or visg areas of town that are more predomantly gay. Wearg a T-shirt at home wh the word ‘gay’ on .

Dog a seri of wrg assignments of a uple of pag each that suggt more and more that you actually are gay or wish to be. Makg a seri of three-mute tap that based on the wrgs gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day changg them when they no longer bother you).

PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT

Avoid observg yourself to see if you behaved a way you image a homosexual or member of the oppose sex would. We hear a lot about the Big Three Sexuali — straight, bisexual and gay.

If you’re a young man, you might assume that eher you’re straight or you’re not, meang you’re likely gay and maybe bisexual. Yet the evince suggts that more young men intify or scribe themselv as mostly straight than intify as eher bisexual or gay bed.

Yet when the men were forced to choose between straight, bisexual or gay, about three-quarters marked straight bee for them bisexual, even if is unrstood as “bisexual-leang straight, ” is too gay to accurately scribe their inty.

AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?

Tradnally, our unrstandg has been that if you’re male and have even a slight attractn to the same sex, then you mt be gay. He knows he’s not gay, but straight wh a dash of gayns. He’s not transng toward intifyg as bisexual or gay.

He’s not a closeted gay man who fears beg gay yet wants to keep a slight, perhaps secretive, gay si by danglg his potential for guy sex. He may retreat om a full intifitn wh heterosexualy, but rarely do he gravate toward bisexualy, and almost never do he move toward homosexualy of any sort. It is Mostly Straight: Sexual Fluidy Among Men, not Mostly Straight: Sexual Fluidy Among Gay Men.