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CALL ME BY MY PRONOUNS: WHY GAY MEN CALL EACH OTHER "GIRL"

Sexual orientatn refers to the endurg physil, romantic and/or emotnal attractn to members of the same and/or other genrs, cludg lbian, gay, bisexual and straight orientatns. As GLAAD not, "Transgenr people may be straight, lbian, gay, bisexual or queer. A person who transns om female to male and is attracted solely to men would typilly intify as a gay man.

The e of she/her pronouns by cisgenr gay men, along wh words such as "girl" or "honey, " is a long-standg and creasgly visible practice. For many gay men, g the words wh their iends is a way of embracg femy and showg vulnerabily or affectn to others who share their inti.

Creatg a shared culture — cludg language — around femy n be a way of reclaimg the bas for opprsn many gay men have experienced, as well as disptg the harmful genr few if any lguistic practic are all one thg, all the time.

ELLEN {LOR:#595959;FONT-FAY:GILROY,HELVETI,ARIAL,SANS-SERIF;FONT-WEIGHT:600;MARG-BOTTOM:0.625REM;}@MEDIA(MAX-WIDTH: 48REM){{FONT-SIZE:0.875REM;LE-HEIGHT:1.2;}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 48REM){{FONT-SIZE:1.25REM;LE-HEIGHT:1.2;}} A{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN-THICKNS:0.0625REM;TEXT-RATN-LOR:HER;TEXT-UNRLE-OFFSET:0.25REM;LOR:HER;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.3S EASE--OUT;TRANSN:ALL 0.3S EASE--OUT;} A:HOVER{LOR:#A00000;TEXT-RATN-LOR:BORR-LK-BODY-HOVER;}WH HER OWN TALK SHOW, ELLEN DEGENER IS ONE OF AMERI'S MOST WELL-KNOWN EDIANS. SHE'S ALSO AN ADVOTE FOR LGBTQ {MARG-BOTTOM:0.625REM;PADDG-RIGHT:0.3125REM;LOR:#323232;FONT-FAY:GILROY,HELVETI,ARIAL,SANS-SERIF;FONT-SIZE:0.75REM;LE-HEIGHT:1;FONT-WEIGHT:800;} SPAN{LE-HEIGHT:1.6;FONT-FAY:GILROY,HELVETI,ARIAL,SANS-SERIF;}{FONT-STYLE:NORMAL;PADDG-RIGHT:0.3125REM;FONT-FAY:RALAS,GEIA,TIM,SERIF;LOR:#323232;FONT-SIZE:0.75REM;LE-HEIGHT:1.3;FONT-WEIGHT:BOLD;TEXT-TRANSFORM:PALIZE;}{DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;MARG-LEFT:0.625REM;FONT-FAY:GILROY,HELVETI,ARIAL,SANS-SERIF;FONT-SIZE:0.75REM;LE-HEIGHT:1;FONT-WEIGHT:800;}UPDATED: MAY 12, {DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;}{MARG-BOTTOM:0.9375REM;POSN:RELATIVE;}@MEDIA(MAX-WIDTH: 64REM){{MAX-WIDTH:LC(100VW - (1REM * 2));MARG-LEFT:1REM;MARG-RIGHT:1REM;} .E152U5OS0{WIDTH:100VW;MARG-LEFT:LC(-1 * 1REM);}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 48REM) AND (MAX-WIDTH: 61.25REM){{MARG-LEFT:TO;MARG-RIGHT:TO;} .E152U5OS0{WIDTH:100VW;MARG-LEFT:LC((100VW - (LC(20.625REM * 2 - 1REM) - 2 * 1REM)) / -2);}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 61.25REM) AND (MAX-WIDTH: 90REM){{MAX-WIDTH:LC(20.625REM * 2 - 1REM);MARG-LEFT:LC((100VW - LC(20.625REM * 2 - 1REM) - 1REM - 20.625REM) / 2);PADDG-LEFT:1REM;PADDG-RIGHT:1REM;} .E152U5OS0{WIDTH:100VW;MARG-LEFT:LC(LC((100VW - LC(20.625REM * 2 - 1REM) - 1REM - 20.625REM) / -2) - 1REM);}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 90REM){{MARG-LEFT:LC((100VW - LC(20.625REM * 2 - 1REM)) / 2);MAX-WIDTH:LC(20.625REM * 2 - 1REM);PADDG-LEFT:1REM;PADDG-RIGHT:1REM;} .E152U5OS0{WIDTH:100VW;MARG-LEFT:LC(LC((100VW - LC(20.625REM * 2 + 1REM)) / -2) - LC(2 * 1REM));}[DATA-HAS-SPONSOR] {MARG-LEFT:LC((100VW - LC(20.625REM * 2 - 1REM)) / 4);MARG-RIGHT:LC((100VW - LC(20.625REM * 2 - 1REM)) / 4);}}{JTIFY-SELF:CENTER;POSN:RELATIVE;}@MEDIA(MAX-WIDTH: 48REM){{MARG-LEFT:-50VW;MARG-RIGHT:-50VW;WIDTH:100VW;LEFT:50%;RIGHT:50%;}}{HEIGHT:TO;}@MEDIA(MAX-WIDTH: 48REM){{MARG:TO LC(50% - 50VW);}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 48REM){{MARG:TO;}}{POSN:RELATIVE;HEIGHT:TO;}{POSN:RELATIVE;--POSN:ABSOLUTE;HEIGHT:TO;} IMG{MAX-WIDTH:100%;HEIGHT:TO;} A{POSN:ABSOLUTE;}{POSN:RELATIVE;WIDTH:100%;HEIGHT:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;VERTIL-ALIGN:TOP;}{BACKGROUND:#C92228;BOTTOM:0;PADDG:.5REM;RIGHT:0;}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 64REM){{PADDG:0.39REM;}}{DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:1REM;WIDTH:1REM;}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 64REM){{WIDTH:1.063REM;HEIGHT:1.063REM;}}{LE-HEIGHT:1;MARG-TOP:0.3125REM;}@MEDIA(MAX-WIDTH: 73.75REM){{PADDG-LEFT:0.9375REM;}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 64REM){{PADDG-LEFT:0;}}{PADDG-RIGHT:0.3125REM;LOR:#595959;FONT-FAY:GILROY,HELVETI,ARIAL,SANS-SERIF;FONT-SIZE:0.75REM;LE-HEIGHT:1;FONT-WEIGHT:800;}PHOTO: ANDREW CH/GETTY {FONT-FAY:CHARTER,GEIA,TIM,SERIF;FONT-SIZE:1.1875REM;LE-HEIGHT:1.6;PADDG-LEFT:0REM;PADDG-RIGHT:0REM;POSN:RELATIVE;}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 48REM){{PADDG-LEFT:3.5REM;PADDG-RIGHT:3.5REM;}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 48REM) AND (MAX-WIDTH: 61.25REM){{MAX-WIDTH:45.25REM;MARG-LEFT:TO;MARG-RIGHT:TO;}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 61.25REM){{PADDG-LEFT:0REM;PADDG-RIGHT:0REM;}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 73.75REM) AND (MAX-WIDTH: 100REM){{PADDG-LEFT:0REM;PADDG-RIGHT:0REM;}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 90REM){{PADDG-LEFT:0REM;PADDG-RIGHT:0REM;}} EM{FONT-STYLE:ALIC;FONT-FAY:CHARTER,GEIA,TIM,SERIF;} STRONG{FONT-FAY:CHARTER,GEIA,TIM,SERIF;FONT-WEIGHT:BOLD;}{CLEAR:BOTH;NTENT:" ";DISPLAY:BLOCK;FONT-SIZE:0.7REM;LE-HEIGHT:1.5REM;HEIGHT:0REM;VISIBILY:HIDN;}{FONT-FAY:CHARTER,GEIA,TIM,SERIF;FONT-SIZE:1.1875REM;LE-HEIGHT:1.6;} STRONG{FONT-FAY:CHARTER,GEIA,TIM,SERIF;FONT-WEIGHT:BOLD;} EM{FONT-STYLE:ALIC;FONT-FAY:CHARTER,GEIA,TIM,SERIF;}(1958-){LOR:#323232;FONT-FAY:GILROY,HELVETI,ARIAL,SANS-SERIF;FONT-WEIGHT:800;LETTER-SPACG:0.02EM;MARG-BOTTOM:0.625REM;MARG-TOP:0.625REM;}@MEDIA(MAX-WIDTH: 48REM){{FONT-SIZE:1.875REM;LE-HEIGHT:1.1;}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 48REM){{FONT-SIZE:2REM;LE-HEIGHT:1.1;}}@MEDIA(M-WIDTH: 64REM){{FONT-SIZE:2REM;LE-HEIGHT:1.1;}} B, STRONG{FONT-FAY:HER;FONT-WEIGHT:BOLD;} EM, I{FONT-FAY:HER;FONT-STYLE:ALIC;}WHO IS ELLEN DEGENER?ELLEN DEGENER H BIG AS A STAND-UP EDIAN BEFORE STARRG ON HER OWN S, ELLEN. IN 1997, SHE ME OUT AS GAY, AND BEME A STNCH ADVOTE OF LGBTQ RIGHTS. SHE HAS BEEN THE HOST OF HER OWN AWARD-WNG TALK SHOW, {-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN-THICKNS:0.0625REM;TEXT-RATN-LOR:HER;TEXT-UNRLE-OFFSET:0.25REM;LOR:#A00000;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.3S EASE--OUT;TRANSN:ALL 0.3S EASE--OUT;}{LOR:#595959;TEXT-RATN-LOR:BORR-LK-BODY-HOVER;}THE ELLEN DEGENER SHOW, SCE 2003, AND MARRIED GIRLIEND PORTIA ROSSI 2008.EARLY LIFEDEGENER WAS BORN JANUARY 26, 1958, METAIRIE, LOUISIANA, TO AN SURANCE SALMAN AND A WORKG MOTHER WHO DIVORCED WHEN DEGENER WAS A TEENAGER. WHEN SHE WAS GROWG UP, DEGENER DREAMED OF BEG A VETERARIAN, BUT SHE GAVE UP THE IA BEE SHE WAS "NOT BOOK SMART." INSTEAD, SHE WAED TABL, SOLD VACUUM CLEANERS, PATED HO AND WORKED AS A LEGAL SECRETARY.DEGENER'S OLR BROTHER, VANCE, AN ACTOR/EDIAN AND FORMER RRPONNT FOR THE DAILY SHOW, WAS LONG NSIRED THE HUMORO MEMBER OF THE FAY. THEN ONCE, DURG A PUBLIC SPEAKG EVENT, DEGENER FOUND HERSELF IGHTENED BY THE CROWD AND ED HUMOR TO GET THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE. SHE WAS A H, AND RECEIVED OFFERS TO DO STAND-UP EDY. SHE BEGAN PERFORMG 1981, BOLSTERED BY HER MOTHER'S MORAL AND FANCIAL SUPPORT.STAND-UP COMEDYAT THE AGE OF 23, DEGENER BEGAN PERFORMG AT A LOL FFEEHOE. SHE GOT HER BIG BUT 1986 WHEN, ACTG ON A TIP OM JAY LENO, THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRG JOHNNY CARSON SENT A BOOKG AGENT TO TCH HER ACT AT THE IMPROV HOLLYWOOD. AS A RULT OF THAT ENGAGEMENT, DEGENER APPEARED ON THE TONIGHT SHOW AND EARNED THE DISTCTN OF BEG THE ONLY FEMALE IC TO BE VED BY JOHNNY CARSON TO S ON THE FAMED "UCH" DURG HER FIRST VIS. DEGENER THEN BEGAN MAKG REGULAR APPEARANC ON THE TALK SHOW CIRCU, CLUDG PERFORMANC ON THE LATE SHOW WH DAVID LETTERMAN, THE TONIGHT SHOW WH JAY LENO, THE OPRAH WEY SHOW, LATER WH GREG KNEAR, LARRY KG LIVE, AND GOOD MORNG, AMERI. SHE WAS ALSO PROFILED TAIL ON ABC'S PRIMETIME LIVE.COMG OUT ON THE 'ELLEN' TV SHOWHER W WON OVER DIENC, AND DEGENER FALLY FOUND SUCCS AS AN ACTRS WH HER OWN PRIME-TIME S — THE SELF-TLED TELEVISN SERI, ELLEN. THE SERI WAS ORIGALLY TLED THE FRIENDS OF ME, BUT WAS RENAMED 1994. FROM THAT POT, THE SHOW EVOLVED OM S BEGNGS AS AN ENSEMBLE EFFORT TO A SHOWSE FOR DEGENER.THE SHOW FACED STRONG CRICISM WHEN, APRIL 1997, DEGENER' CHARACTER BEME THE FIRST LEAD S HISTORY TO OPENLY ACKNOWLEDGE HER HOMOSEXUALY ON AIR. AN ABC AFFILIATE BIRMGHAM, ALABAMA, REFED TO AIR THE LANDMARK EPISO. FEARG NTROVERSY, SOME OF THE SHOW'S SPONSORS, DAIMLER CHRYSLER AMONG THEM, WHDREW ADVERTISEMENTS.SEVERAL EPISOS FOLLOWG HER REVEAL HAD GAY THEM AND, THROUGHOUT THE REMAR OF THE SEASON, DEGENER AND ABC EXECUTIV FACED A STORM OF CRICISM. BUT THE SHOW ALSO RECEIVED ROUNDS OF APPLSE OM GAY-IENDLY ACTIVISTS — CLUDG DEGENER'S MOTHER, BETTY DEGENER, WHO APPEARED ON NUMERO TALK SHOWS SUPPORT OF HER DGHTER. DPE A SUPPORTIVE DIENCE, AN EMMY AWARD FOR THE G-OUT EPISO AND THE SHOW'S GROUNDBREAKG PLACE TELEVISN HISTORY, ELLEN WAS NCELED 1998.DEGENER LATER REVEALED THE DIFFICULTI SHE FACED G OUT — OM THE ELLEN EXECUTIV WHO ADVISED HER AGAST DOG SO, TO THE BACKLASH SHE FACED FOR MAKG HER PERSONAL LIFE PUBLIC. APPEARG ON DAX SHEPARD'S ARMCHAIR EXPERT PODST 2018, SHE RELLED THE HUIATG FEELG OF BEG THE SUBJECT OF LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOW JOK, WHILE REJECTG THE PREMISE THAT SHE WAS AN LGBTQ "LEAR" SIMPLY BEE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO KEEP THE SECRET ANYMORE.'THE ELLEN DEGENER SHOW'IN 2003, ELLEN DEGENER BEME A BIG H WH DAYTIME VIEWERS WH HER SELF-TLED TALK SHOW, ELLEN. SCE S CEPTN, THE SHOW HAS WON A SLEW OF AWARDS, CLUDG 64 DAYTIME EMMYS FOR A DAYTIME TALK SHOW.IN MAY 2021, DEGENER ANNOUNCED SHE'LL BE ENDG HER TALK SHOW 2022.MOVIBY THE TIME HER SHOW WAS NCELED, DEGENER HAD ALREADY MA THE MOVE TO THE BIG SCREEN, STARRG THE DARK EDY MR. WRONG (1996) AS A WOMAN SEARCH OF THE PERFECT MAN. SHE ALSO APPEARED THE EDY EDTV (1999), STARRG MATTHEW MCCONGHEY, AND THE TELEVISN PRODUCTN OF IF THE WALLS COULD TALK 2 (2000), WHICH SHE SHARED A MUCH-PUBLICIZED LOVE SCENE WH SHARON STONE.'FDG NEMO' AND AWARDS SHOW HOSTALSO 2003, DEGENER LENT HER VOICE TO THE ANIMATED BOX OFFICE SMASH FDG NEMO, WHICH SHE PLAYS A IENDLY YET FETFUL LTLE BLUE FISH NAMED DORY. THE NEXT YEAR SHE RECEIVED TWO EMMY AWARD NOMATNS FOR HER STAND-UP EDY SPECIAL ELLEN DEGENER: HERE AND NOW. DEGENER LATER RETURNED TO THE NEMO ANCHISE WH THE 2016 SEQUEL, FDG DORY.A UNIQUE BATN OF KD AND FUNNY, ELLEN DEGENER BEME A POPULAR CHOICE TO HOST MAJOR AWARDS TELESTS. SHE WAS TAPPED TO HOST THE GRAMMYS 1996 AND 1997; THE PRIMETIME EMMYS 2001 AND 2005; AND THE AMY AWARDS 2007 AND 2014. UNRSRG HER POPULARY, DEGENER 2009 WAS CHOSEN TO FILL THE VETED FOURTH SLOT AS A JUDGE ON AMERIN IDOL, REPLACG PLA ABDUL. BOOKS AND EXECUTIVE PRODUCERDEGENER IS ALSO THE THOR OF SEVERAL BOOKS, CLUDG MY POT ... AND I DO HAVE ONE (1995), SERLY ... I'M KIDDG (2011) AND HOME (2015). HER FILM WORK SLOWED AFTER HER TALK SHOW TOOK OFF, BUT SHE'S NTUED TO WORK MOSTLY BEHD THE SCEN AS AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF SEVERAL TELEVISN SHOWS CLUDG BETHENNY (2012-2014), REPEAT AFTER ME (2015), ONE BIG HAPPY (2015), LTLE BIG SHOTS (2015) AND HER HGTV REALY PETN SHOW, ELLEN'S DIGN CHALLENGE.OTHER PROJECTS AND HONORSJUGGLG MANY ROL HOLLYWOOD, DEGENER HAS NTUED BUILDG HER EMPIRE. SHE OWNS HER OWN RERD LABEL LLED "ELEVENELEVEN," AS WELL AS A LIFTYLE BRAND LLED ED BY ELLEN (LNCHED 2015) WHICH SELLS SHO, HOME AND BABY EMS, ACCSORI AND A PET LE. SHE IS AN AVID ANIMAL RIGHTS AND GAY RIGHTS ACTIVIST, AS WELL AS A VEGAN.IN NOVEMBER 2016 DEGENER RECEIVED THE PRINTIAL MEDAL OF FREEDOM OM PRINT BARACK OBAMA FOR HER NTRIBUTN TO THE ARTS.IN EARLY 2018, AS PART OF A 60TH BIRTHDAY GIFT OM ROSSI, THE TV PERSONALY LEARNED OF PLANS TO CREATE THE ELLEN DEGENER CAMP OF THE DIAN FOSSEY GORILLA FUND RWANDA, THE FIRST IATIVE OF THE NEW ELLEN DEGENER WILDLIFE FUND.AT JANUARY 2020 GOLN GLOB, DEGENER WAS PRENTED WH THE HONORARY CAROL BURT AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE TELEVISN. SHE BEME THE SEND RECIPIENT OF THE HONOR, FOLLOWG S NAMAKE 2019.PERSONAL LIFE FOR SEVERAL YEARS, DEGENER DATED ACTRS ANNE HECHE AND, 1999, THE UPLE BOUGHT A HOME LOS ANGEL. ALTHOUGH AT ONE POT THEY PUBLICLY ANNOUNCED THEIR SIRE TO BE MARRIED, THE UPLE BROKE UP AUGT 2000. MARRIAGE TO PORTIA ROSSIDEGENER THEN DATED ALEXANDRA HEDISON FOR A FEW YEARS BEFORE BEG VOLVED WH ACTRS PORTIA ROSSI DECEMBER 2004. DEGENER MARRIED ROSSI ON AUGT 16, 2008, WHAT WAS PERHAPS THE HIGHT-PROFILE GAY MARRIAGE AFTER CALIFORNIA LEGALIZED THE UNNS. IN 2010 ROSSI WAS GRANTED PERMISSN TO LEGALLY CHANGE HER NAME TO PORTIA LEE JAM DEGENER.SEXUAL ABE REVELATNSDEGENER FIRST ALLEGED THAT SHE HAD BEEN SEXUALLY ABED BY HER STEPFATHER A 2005 TERVIEW WH ALLURE MAGAZE. SHE ELABORATED ON THE TOPIC DURG AN APPEARANCE ON DAVID LETTERMAN'S NETFLIX SHOW 2019, RELLG HOW HER STEPFATHER SISTED ON "EXAMG" HER BREASTS FOR LUMPS AFTER HER MOTHER WAS DIAGNOSED WH BREAST NCER THE {BORR:0;BORR-BOTTOM:TH SOLID BLACK;MARG:1.875REM 0;CLEAR:BOTH;}QUICK FACTS

It may be time to reevaluate cis gay men’s e of words like "she" and "girl" to make sure they align wh ongog efforts to rpect nonbary genr inti, and avoid makg assumptns about people’s pronouns.

Lguists, social scientists, and crics have observed and studied cis gay men’s e of “she, ” and their asssments pot to the multiple and often nflictg dimensns of the practice. So for even to make sense for gay men to e ‘she, ’ we have to have some kd of associatn wh ‘she, ’ and ually that associatn is femy, whatever that might mean to or our culture. “Men g women’s pronouns, and women g men’s pronouns, has got an enormo time pth Amerin lbian-gay English.

It’s not a recent formatn at all, ” explas William Leap, an emer profsor of anthropology at Amerin Universy and pneerg expert on queer men llg each other "she" or "girl" was historilly a way of protectg themselv as well as buildg muny the ntext of homophobic and vlent mastream culture. In the 1940s, ary censors were on the lookout for evince of homosexualy, which uld provoke a ary vtigatn.

WHO IS CAY LOTZ AND HER BOYIEND, IS SHE GAY, HERE’S EVERYTHG TO KNOW

”Usg words like "she" and "girl" n be a way for cis gay men to bond and embrace femy. ”Yet some women have experienced gay men g words like “girl” toward them ways that don’t feel all that different om the misogyny they have experienced om straight men.

REBEL WILSON’S SEXUALY: IS SHE GAY?

“I also saw beg negatively ed when whe gay men would say, like, ‘Oh girl, what are you talkg about, ’ and they would be talkg to a woman of lor, pecially a Black woman. ”Consirg misogyny wh gay men’s language practic rais the qutn of how g words like “girl” or “honey” is nnected to their e of other, more ntroversial words that have historilly been ed to mean women, such as “bch” and “cunt.

” Multiple terviewe referenced RuPl’s Drag Race as a show that has popularized the e of words associated wh femy among cis gay men.

”“Gay men are a large group of people wh a lot of different kds of relatnships to genr, and I thk there are absolutely gay men who operate relatn to feme language that really is a reflectn of their male privilege, whether ’s through g ways that nigrate or stereotype women, or whether ’s jt feelg license to e the language how they see f, ” says Zimman, the lguist om UC Santa Barbara. “Of urse, gay men are men. Paris Is Burng, the 1990 documentary on Harlem’s drag ball scene, as well as Drag Race, have brought the e of words like "she" and "girl" between Black and Latx drag queens to a wir gay (and straight) dience; today this is somethg employed by gay men of all rac.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* SHE GAY

Pronouns: Why Gay Men Call Each Other "She" and "Girl" | Them .

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