How to Fd Your Gay Bt Friend: 10 Steps (wh Pictur)

Contents:

• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• IS MY FRIEND GAY QUIZ
• IS MY FRIEND GAY, STRAIGHT OR BISEXUAL ABOUT ME? QUIZ FOR BOYS
• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS
• HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND
• HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM
• WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND TELLS YOU HE'S {FONT-SIZE:20PX;LOR:#999;FONT-STYLE:ALIC;MARG:0PX;MARG-TOP:10PX;}THE EDUTN OF A STRAIGHT {GRID-ROW-START:2;GRID-LUMN-START:2;GRID-LUMN-END:3;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{GRID-LUMN-START:1;GRID-LUMN-END:2;}}{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;MARG-BOTTOM:5PX;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;} IMG{PADDG-RIGHT:7PX;}BY {LOR:#BA0600;}NATHAN S. {BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;}{DISPLAY:NONE;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;DISPLAY:BLOCK;PADDG-TOP:20PX;PADDG-BOTTOM:20PX;MARG-TOP:20PX;BORR-TOP:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-BOTTOM:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;}}{DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;WIDTH:TO;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;POSN:-WEBK-STICKY;POSN:STICKY;TOP:70PX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;POSN:UNSET;} {DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG:0PX;} > SPAN{WIDTH:35PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR-RADI:50%;} SVG{WIDTH:25PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EMAIL > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PRT > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_LK > SPAN{BACKGROUND-LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_UNTER .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EXPAND{WIDTH:35PX;HEIGHT:35PX;MARG:0PX;PADDG:0PX;BACKGROUND:NONE;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-RADI:50%;LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PACT{DISPLAY:NONE !IMPORTANT;} {MARG:0PX 5PX;}{POSN:RELATIVE;WIDTH:100%;} P{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;} OL{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;PADDG-LEFT:80PX;} P A, OL A, P A:VISED, OL A:VISED{LOR:#BA0600;-WEBK-TRANSN:0.3S ALL;TRANSN:0.3S ALL;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} P A:HOVER, OL A:HOVER{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} H1, H2, H3, H4, H5, H6{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;LOR:#7B1B18;}GAY PEOPLE ARE ENGAGED AN ONGOG STGGLE TO HAVE THEIR RIGHTS REGNIZED AND RPECTED. AS A STRAIGHT PERSON TALKG PRIMARILY TO OTHER STRAIGHTS. I HOPE TO SUPPORT ALL WHO ARE OPPRSED BEE OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN. THE FOC ON GAY MEN AS OPPOSED TO LBIANS IS ONLY A REFLECTN OF MY PERSONAL KNOWLEDGE.A YEAR AGO, NO ONE I KNEW WAS OPENLY GAY. MY NTACT WH HOMOSEXUALY UNTIL THEN WAS PROBABLY QUE STANDARD. WHEN I WAS SEVEN, MY MOTHER TALKED TO ME ABOUT PEOPLE LLED "FAIRI." SHE WARNED ME TO WATCH OUT FOR THEM, EXPLAG THAT THEIR EXISTENCE WAS A PY FOR THEM AND A NUISANCE FOR THE RT OF . FROM THEN ON, THE ISSUE WAS ABSENT OM NVERSATN AT HOME, EXCEPT WHEN SOMETHG ABOUT ANA BRYANT ME ON THE NEWS. WE ALL REGARD ANA AS SOMEWHAT OFF THE WALL, BUT NOT OUT OF ANY EPLY FELT VIEWS ON HOMOSEXUALY. AT SCHOOL, THE WORDS "GAY" AND "FAG" WERE ED ONLY AS SULTS TO STUNTS SO AWKWARD OR UNPOPULAR THAT THE TERM "WIMP" WOULD NOT DO. HOMOSEXUALY WAS SPOTLIGHTED ONLY ONCE: WHEN THE WOMEN'S STUDI CLASS VED A LBIAN TO SPEAK AND HALF THE PARENTS LLED UP TO PLA.THE FLUENC HELPED TO SHAPE MY VIEW OF HOMOSEXUALY. LIKE THE RT OF SOCIETY, I VIEWED THEM AS UNNATURAL AND DISGTG. I SAW HOMOSEXUALY AS RPTN OF "REAL" SEXUALY, AN UNFORTUNATE ELEMENT TO BE RTRICTED OR SUPRSED WHERE POSSIBLE. AND SPE THE STANDARD JOK, EP DOWN HOMOSEXUALY MA ME VERY UNFORTABLE.* * *ONE MORNG LAST SPRG, A POSTER ON MY DOOR SAID "DO YOU KNOW THAT SOMEONE YOU RE ABOUT IS GAY?" AS I WALKED TO BREAKFAST, I RAN MY MD OVER PEOPLE I RED ABOUT. CONCLUDG POSIVELY THAT NOT ONE WAS GAY. I DISMISSED THE SIGN AS PROPAGANDA FOR THE G GAY/LBIAN AWARENS DAY (GLAD).THAT NIGHT, ONE OF MY CLOST IENDS SAT ME DOWN TO TALK. THIS SELF WAS STRANGE, BEE WE UALLY TALKED QUE NATURALLY ON ANY SUBJECT. THE SUATN BEME MORE PECULIAR AS I WATCHED HIM. I HAD NEVER SEEN HIM SO NERVO. HE ULDN'T STICK TO ONE TOPIC OF NVERSATN. FALLY, AFTER A VERY LONG AND PAED TRODUCTN, HE TOLD ME HE WAS GAY. HE HAD KNOWN THIS THROUGHOUT OUR IENDSHIP.I DID MY BT TO SEEM LLECTED, BUT SI I WAS A MASS OF SHOCK AND NFN. I TRIED TO APPEAR OL AND THEN TOOK THE FIRST OPPORTUNY TO LEAVE I NEED TIME TO THK ABOUT THIS ALONE. AS I SAT ON A BENCH AND TRIED TO RELAX, I BEGAN TO THK HERENTLY: "THIS IS AN ENORMO THG; HOW ULD I NOT HAVE KNOWN ?" "WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME BEFORE?" "HOW MUCH DO THIS AFFECT HIS THOUGHTS AND ACTNS?" "HOW DO THIS MEAN HE SE ME?" "I FD HOMOSEXUALY REPULSIVE; HOW N A CLOSE IEND BE HOMOSEXUAL?" "I KNOW WHAT GAYS ARE LIKE: HOW N HE BE ONE?"MY IEND'S FACE SUDNLY ME TO FOC. I ULD STILL SEE HIM RIGHT ONT OF RACE. I ULD SEE HIM QUIVER AS HE BRACED FOR ME TO REACT. THERE WAS MY OWN IEND, WAG FOR ME TO REJECT HIM. REJECT... THIS MA ME THK OF OUR IENDSHIP. I REMEMBERED TIM WE HAD SPENT TOGETHER; TAST WE HAD SHARED, NEEDS WE HAD FILLED FOR EACH OTHER. AND HE HAD BEEN GAY ALL THE WHILE... BUT HADN'T THE TIM BEEN JT AS GOOD? IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE THEY HAD. AND ULDN'T THEY BE EQUALLY GOOD THE FUTURE? WHY NOT? THE ONLY DIFFERENCE NOW WAS THAT I KNEW SOMETHG THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN TE.MY THOUGHTS TURNED TO HIS POT OF VIEW. I GRIMACED, REMEMBERG TIM THAT HOMOSEXUALY HAD E UP NVERSATN. WHAT AN ACTOR HE HAD BEEN! HE HAD LGHED AT THE SAME JOK AND PROFSED THE SAME ATTUS AS I HAD. IN GROUPS OF GUYS HE HAD RATED THE GIRLS ALONG WH EVERYONE ELSE.I REALIZED HOW ALONE HE OFTEN MT FEEL. UNABLE TO BE HIS TE SELF, ED NDNED TO HATE THAT TE SELF, HE HAS TO AL NSTANTLY PRETENS. SUDNLY, I WANTED TO TALK TO {DISPLAY:BLOCK;MARG:0PX TO;WIDTH:100%;MAX-WIDTH:100%;BACKGROUND:TRANSPARENT;PADDG:10PX 0PX;} {FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;LOR:#333333;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;FONT-SIZE:0.7EM;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;DISPLAY:BLOCK;} {WIDTH:-WEBK-F-NTENT;WIDTH:-MOZ-F-NTENT;WIDTH:F-NTENT;MARG:0PX TO;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;}ADVERTISEMENTWHEN I WENT TO SEE HIM THAT NIGHT, I KNEW THE ISSUE WOULD AFFECT ME OM THEN ON. I HAD TAKEN A STRONG FIRST STEP BY WORKG THROUGH MOST OF MY FEELGS ABOUT HIS HOMOSEXUALY. YET I STILL FELT THREATENED MYSELF. SOMETHG NAGGED EP SI THAT IF I THOUGHT OR TALKED ABOUT TOO MUCH, THIS GAYNS MIGHT SPREAD TO ME TOO, OR SRIER, EXPOSE SOMETHG ALREADY THERE. BUT IF I WANTED TO KEEP MY IEND, HOWEVER NERVO I WAS. I HAD TO FACE SUCH POSSIBILI.I AM LUCKY THAT I DID. LEARNG ABOUT THIS ISSUE CHANGED AND ENRICHED ME WAYS THAT I ULD NOT HAVE IMAGED. MY IEND, LIGHTED NOT ONLY THAT WE WERE AS CLOSE AS BEFORE, BUT THAT I WAS TERTED UNRSTANDG HOMOSEXUALY BETTER, TRODUCED ME TO HIS GAY IENDS. WH THIS NEW AWARENS, I DISVERED THAT SEVERAL HIGH SCHOOL IENDS WERE ALSO GAY AND HAD KNOWN ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. THIS FLOOD OF NEW KNOWLEDGE STROYED MOST OF MY MISNCEPTNS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY. FEARS AND PREJUDIC, HOWEVER, TOOK LONGER; DISPELLG THEM REQUIR A URAGE AND EFFORT BEYOND SIMPLY ACQUIRG KNOWLEDGE. THIS WHOLE PROCS OF TN HAS LED ME TO THE FOLLOWG NCLNS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY.HOSTILY TO HOMOSEXUALY STEMS LARGELY OM SECURY AND IGNORANCE. LIKE ALL PREJUDICE, OURS AGAST GAYS IS NOT BASED ON RATNAL REASONG. I BELIEVE STEMS LARGELY OM SECURY, OM A EP FEAR THAT WE MAY BE OR BEE GAY OURSELV. FOR SOME, GREAT AFFECTN FOR A IEND OF THE SAME SEX MAY E THIS WORRY. FOR OTHERS, MAY BE LS NSC. BUT, SOCIAL ATTUS TOWARD HOMOSEXUALY MAGNIFY THIS WORRY TO A HORROR. SOME RPOND TO WH RISN OR HOSTILY TO GAYS, HOPG THIS WILL REAFFIRM THEIR HETEROSEXUALY. BUT MOST SIMPLY TRY TO CROWD ANY THOUGHT OF HOMOSEXUALY OUT OF THEIR HEADS. THAT CREAT ANOTHER SOURCE OF HOSTILY TO GAYS: IGNORANCE. SHUTTG HOMOSEXUALY OUT OF OUR WORLD FOSTERS THE SAME FEAR AND MISTST OF THE ALIEN THAT HAS ALWAYS LED PEOPLE TO HATE EACH OTHER. OUR PREJUDICE AGAST GAY PEOPLE WILL LGER AS LONG AS THEY ARE UNFAIAR. ONLY EE TERACTN WH THEM WILL SHOW THAT THEY ARE PEOPLE JT LIKE OURSELV.HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT NTAG. ASSOCIATG WH GAY PEOPLE WILL NOT MAKE YOU GAY; N ONLY BRG OUT HOMOSEXUAL TENNCI IF THEY ALREADY EXIST. FOR ME, LEARNG ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY STRENGTHENED RATHER THAN NFED MY SEXUAL INTY. BEE I UNRWENT SUCH AN TENSE EXAMATN OF THIS SUBJECT AND MY FEELGS ABOUT . I HAD LTLE DOUBT ONCE I HAD FISHED. HAD I BEEN GAY, SUCH HARD THKG WOULD ONLY HAVE HELPED ME UNRSTAND MYSELF. SO NTACT WH HOMOSEXUALY WILL NOT CHANGE OUR SEXUAL INTY, ONLY CLARIFY .HOMOSEXUALY IS A VALID FORM OF LOVE. WHAT STCK ME MOST LEARNG ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL RELATNSHIP IS THE AMAZG SIARY TO STRAIGHT ON THE FEELGS AND EMOTNS THEY VOLVE. WHOUT THE NAM AND PRONOUNS, A SCRIPTN OF A GAY AFFAIR IS LERALLY DISTGUISHABLE OM THAT OF A STRAIGHT ONE. ADVICE I MIGHT GIVE TO A GAY MAN ABOUT A ROMANCE IS EQUALLY APPLIBLE TO A STRAIGHT WOMAN. SEEG HOW NATURAL AND BETIFUL A GAY RELATNSHIP N BE HAS NVCED ME THAT IS NOT ANY WAY A PERVERSN, RPTN OR MISE OF SEXUALY. IT IS SIMPLY AN ALTERNATIVE. THERE IS A PACY TO LOVE ALL PEOPLE, AND A STANDARD LIMG SEXUAL NTACT TO OPPOSE SEX IS AT BT ARTIFICIAL, AT WORST VERY CEL TO THOSE WHO ARE NOT PART OF THE NORM THAT CREATED . ESPECIALLY THE PRSURED AND SOMETIM LONELY ATMOSPHERE OF LLEGE, ANY KD OF REAL AFFECTN IS VALUABLE. WE SHOULD RE MORE THAT EXISTS THAN BETWEEN WHOM.CRICS OF HOMOSEXUALY ADM MAY BE AS PERSONALLY FULFILLG AS HETEROSEXUALY. BUT THEY CLAIM IS SOCIALLY UNSIRABLE BEE THE GAY LIFTYLE PRECLUS THE JOY OF THE FAY AND UNRM A SOCIAL STCTURE BASED ON THE FAY UN. HOMOSEXUALY SHOULD TH BE DISURAGED LT ENTICE ANY HONT HETEROSEXUALS. THERE ARE TWO PROBLEMS WH THIS ARGUMENT. FIRST, IF FAY LIFE REALLY IS PREFERABLE, MOST PEOPLE WILL CHOOSE . OPPRSG SOMEONE TO AN UNWANTED LIFTYLE BEE HE WILL ENJOY MORE IS ILLOGIL. SEND, MANY OF TODAY'S HETEROSEXUAL UPL CI NOT TO HAVE FAI. ALTHOUGH THEY ARE AS GUILTY AS GAYS OF THREATENG THE FAY LIFTYLE, WE DO NOT PERSECUTE THEM.HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT A PHASE. MANY HETEROSEXUALS BELIEVE THAT GAY PEOPLE CHOOSE THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR ARE SIMPLY "GOG THROUGH A PHASE." THIS IS OFTEN ED TO JTIFY DISCRIMATN, HOPG WILL "BRG THEM AROUND" TO HETEROSEXUALY. IT WON'T. ALL THE GAY PEOPLE I HAVE QUTNED ON THIS KNEW THEY WERE GAY AT QUE A YOUNG AGE AND EXPECT ALWAYS TO REMA SO. THOUGH NONE N SAY IS BLOGILLY TERMED, THEY ALL REGARD THEIR HOMOSEXUALY AS MUCH MORE THAN A STATE OF MD. IT IS AN SENTIAL PART OF THEM. CLEARLY, PERSECUTG THEM WILL NOT DUCE THEM TO CHANGE, ONLY E THEM TO SUFFER.GAY PEOPLE DO NOT PLACE UNDO EMPHASIS ON SEX. HOMOSEXUALS ARE DIFFERENTIATED AS A GROUP BY THEIR SEXUAL HABS. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS FOSTERS THE IMPRSN THAT THEY ARE OVERSEXED OR SEXUALLY PERVERTED, SADO-MASOCHISTS, OR CHILD MOLTERS.THIS NOTN IS AS UNFOUND AS IS HARMFUL. GAY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FOUND STATISTILLY LS LIKELY TO MOLT CHILDREN THAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE, AND NO MORE VLENT OR UNBALANCED THAN ANYONE ELSE. NOR IS SEX THE FOC OF MOST GAYS' LIV. FOR THE ON I KNOW, HAS S PLACE AMONG AMICS, EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVI AND IENDSHIPS. ONCE WE INTIFY PEOPLE BY THEIR PERSONALI AND TERTS STEAD OF THEIR PRIVATE LIV, WE WILL PUT THIS ISSUE PROPER PERSPECTIVE.THE GAY STEREOTYPE IS DAMAGG. THE GREATT SHOCK TO MY NAIVETE ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY WAS FDG OUT HOW MON IS. STUDI TO TERME EXACTLY HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE GAY NSISTENTLY SETTLE AROUND 10 PER CENT OF THE POPULATN. THIS MEANS THERE ARE 20 TO 25 LN GAY AMERINS. THE 10-PER-CENT FIGURE AT FIRST SEEMED TO ME IMPOSSIBLE BEE SO FEW PEOPLE. I KNEW F THE IMAGE I HAD OF A GAY PERSON. I HAVE SCE REALIZED THAT THE VAST MAJORY OF GAY PEOPLE DO NOT F THIS IMAGE. THE ARE THE GAYS WE DO NOT PERCEIVE. THEY E OM ALL SECTORS OF SOCIETY AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHG MON SEXUAL PREFERENCE. ONLY A SMALL PERCENTAGE FEEL FORTABLE ENOUGH TO BE OPEN ABOUT THEIR HOMOSEXUALY. IT IS SENTIAL TO REALIZE HOW LARGE AND VAR A GROUP THE PEOPLE ARE, AND HOW MANY OF OUR IENDS ARE AMONG THEM. OTHERWISE WE WILL NOT UNRSTAND WHOM OUR PREJUDICE STRIK.ADVERTISEMENTTHE RELIG ARGUMENT AGAST HOMOSEXUALY IS HYPOCRIL. AMONG THE THOANDS OF L AND LAWS THE OLD TTAMENT IS FOUND, "THOU SHALT NOT LIE WH MANKD, AS WH WOMANKD: IS ABOMATN." (LEVIC 18:22). FOR SOME, THIS STATEMENT IS SUFFICIENT TO VOKE THE MORAL THORY OF GOD AGAST HOMOSEXUALY BUT THIS IS CLEARLY A SE OF SELECTIVE E OF HIS WORD. THE SAME BOOK OF THE BIBLE ALSO TEACH MEN NOT TO HARVT THE RNERS OF THEIR FIELDS AND NOT TO TOUCH A WOMAN FOR EIGHT DAYS AFTER SHE MENSTAT. YET WE NSIR THE LAWS "OUTDATED" AND IGNORE THEM--FOR GOOD REASON. RUL AGAST HOMOSEXUALY AND MASTURBATN ALSO PLAYED AN IMPORTANT ROLE PRERVG THE SPECI. BUT NOW THAT WE HAVE THE OPPOSE POPULATN PROBLEM, THE L SHOULD BE NSIRED AS OBSOLETE AS THE OTHERS.THE ISSUE OF BIRTH NTROL IS STCTIVE HERE. ITS PRACTICE IS ALSO FORBIDN BY A LERAL TERPRETATN OF THE BIBLE, YET WE DO NOT PERSECUTE THOSE WHO E . IN FACT, MANY ERS ARE THE SAME ON WHO NMN HOMOSEXUALY AS UNGODLY. THIS SELECTIVE PIETY IS THE BAST HYPOCRISY.GAYS ARE OPPRSED. THE EARLY LIFE OF EVERY GAY IS FILLED WH TNTS OF "FAG" AND "QUEER." THE TEACH HIM TO HATE WHAT HE IS. THEY MAKE ADMISSN OF HIS HOMOSEXUALY TO HIMSELF A CSHG BLOW. THE GAY WH ENOUGH URAGE TO STEP OUT OF HIS CLOSET IS ALSO OPPRSED. HE IS OSTRACIZED BY MANY OF HIS IENDS, OFTEN PLETELY REJECTED BY HIS IENDS, OFTEN PLETELY REJECTED BY HIS FAY, REGARD AS MISGUID OR MENTED BY THE RT OF SOCIETY, HARASSED, RIDICULED, AND SOMETIM EVEN PHYSILLY ATTACKED. EVEN IF A GAY IS ACCEPTED BY HIS FAY AND IENDS, HE STILL FAC VASTATG SOCIAL DISCRIMATN. HE N LEGALLY BE EXCLUD OM ANY KD OF EMPLOYMENT, PUBLIC OR PRIVATE, BARRED BY LABOR UNNS, NIED HOG, MORTGAGE, CRED SURANCE, EVEN PUBLIC ACODATNS. IN ALL 50 STAT HE IS EMED UNF TO TEACH SCHOOL. IN EACH SE, HE IS JUDGED AS A WORKER, TENANT OR CTOMER NOT BY HIS CRENTIALS FOR SUCH ACTIVI, BUT BY HOW HE NDUCTS HIS PRIVATE LIFE.THE SUATN AT HARVARD IS NO BETTER. THE MOTN PASSED CHUL THIS WEEK REMENDG AN OFFICIAL NON-DISCRIMATN CLSE UNIVERSY POLICY IS AN IMPORTANT STEP FORWARD. BUT WE STILL HAVE FAR TO GO. THE EPISO THIS FALL WHICH THE GAY STUNTS ASSOCIATN WAS NIED ACCS TO STUNT REGISTRATN PACKETS DRAMATIZED THE REALY OF STUTNAL DISCRIMATN.THE ADMISTRATN IS NOT THE ONLY PROBLEM. STUNTS CTOMARILY FACE AND RIP DOWN POSTERS FOR GAY AND LBIAN EVENTS. LAST SPRG THEY HURLED TNTS, SULTS AND EVEN FOOD AT OTHER STUNTS ANNOUNCG GLAD DAY THE DG HALLS. ONE STUNT WAS EVEN ATTACKED--FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN HIS HOMOSEXUALY--WHILE CLEANG UP AFTER A GAY/LBIAN DANCE LAST APRIL. IN A MUNY AS TED AS OURS IS, THIS KD OF ABE IS HARD TO UNRSTAND. FOR A LEADG UNIVERSY THE UNED STAT AND THE WORLD, IS UNACCEPTABLE. IT IS TIME FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE TO REALIZE THAT WE MT CHANGE. IT IS WE WHO E THE SUFFERG OF GAY PEOPLE. OUR ATTUS E GUILT, SHAME, AND LONELS, AND OUR ACTNS E FEAR AND ALIENATN. AS THE MAJORY, WE N CHANGE THE SUATN. PUBLICLY, WE MT SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS. PRIVATELY, WE MT REALIZE THAT WE KNOW GAY PEOPLE. REVISG OUR ATTUS, EVEN SUCH SMALL WAYS AS HOW WE REFER TO GAYS, WILL MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELV AND ABOUT . AS SUCH CHANGE OCCURS, NOT ONLY WILL THE GAY PEOPLE OUR MIDST BEE UNBURNED, BUT THE RT OF WILL EELY ENJOY THE ENERGY AND TALENTS OF A TREMENDO GROUP OF PEOPLE.NATHAN S. SZANTON '83 LIV SOUTH {FONT-SIZE:16.5PX;LE-HEIGHT:26PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;MARG:1EM TO;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;}WANT TO KEEP UP WH BREAKG NEWS? 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• HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE GAY, STRAIGHT, OR SOMETHG BETWEEN?
• HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND
• IN LOVE WH MY BT IEND, BUT HE'S GAY

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

" If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet?

Acceptance n make a huge different the liv of LGBTQIA (Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual) people.

Article SummaryXIt might e as a b of a shock to fd out your bt iend is gay, but by supportg them and givg yourself time to get ed to , your iendship n be jt like was. It probably took a lot of urage for your iend to e out as gay, so tell them that you accept them for who they are to be a good iend. For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge. Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny.

The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together.

Sometim you might assume that jt bee a guy only hangs out wh girls or jt bee his bt iend also seems gay, then he might also be gay. Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you. You n talk about another iend that is gay or even jt about someone hypothetilly g out if you don't know someone who's gay.

IS MY FRIEND GAY QUIZ

Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay? Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.

It is important to note that the same-sex soc-sexual behavr observed the study is distct om homosexual behavr bee s motivatn and purpose are social, said Jean-Baptiste Le, who studi primate behavr at the Universy of Lethbridge Canada and was not volved the new rearch. To be classified as te homosexual behavr, the form, motivatn and functn would all have to be sexual nature, he said.

Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a woman.He said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love.

IS MY FRIEND GAY, STRAIGHT OR BISEXUAL ABOUT ME? QUIZ FOR BOYS

There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough".He said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'".When Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3,000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance blossomed.Three years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos".He relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife."Danny Beard on Same Sex Love and MarriageDanny explor same-sex weddgs, fdg out why upl chose to get married, the challeng unrpng this cisn and what mak the wedd relatnships work.The uple said they now wanted to help people who were not as ee and strive for "equaly for everyone"."Now I'm here a safe place I want to fight for others to be able to marry who they want," Adam said."I'm so lucky but I want everyone else Sdi to marry the one they love whout facg discrimatn and persecutn." Image source, Fay photographImage ptn, Peter McGrah and David Cabreza say they are "very proud" to have been the first same-sex uple married EnglandMore than 40,000 same-sex marriag took place between 2014 and 2020, acrdg to the Office for Natnal StatisticsPeter McGrah and David Cabreza, origally om Stland and the US, ma history when they beme the first same-sex uple to marry England on 29 March 2014.The trailblazers married jt after midnight at Islgton Town Hall. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage"."It was so sweet seeg him so happy," Mr Cabreza said.

HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND

She then told me that they arent born like this, that the society forms them to be gay, then proceed to tell me how her iend was abed and now she lik girls only. Then I sent her a story about a gay man who realised that he lik men when he was 12 and didnt know that other gay people existed as a proof that they don't jt ci to be gay.

Even her Instagram profile picture is a picture of her wh the gay bt iend when me has been a picture of me and her for months. This ltle quiz I created is meant to tell you if one of your iends is gay, straight, or bisexual - and more importantly, if they like you like that or not. Thank you for makg this quiz really helped me figure out my iend was gay, After I did the tt shown he was gay and I asked him out he said y.

If there’s one thg I n tell you about wh great thory, as a gay man who took his sweet time g out, ’s havg csh on men who – for the most part – were blissfully unaware of . We’re tght people are eher gay or straight, that sexualy is a fixed aspect that stays the same over the urse of our liv when actually ’s fluid and chang over time.

HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM

Whether you’re straight, gay, bicur, heteroflexible or jt workg thgs out, ’s not jt your sexualy that’s lled to qutn when such a csh aris. It works wh gay men too – we don’t fancy all straight men tomatilly and ’s possible for such a csh to be entirely platonic.

WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND TELLS YOU HE'S {FONT-SIZE:20PX;LOR:#999;FONT-STYLE:ALIC;MARG:0PX;MARG-TOP:10PX;}THE EDUTN OF A STRAIGHT {GRID-ROW-START:2;GRID-LUMN-START:2;GRID-LUMN-END:3;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{GRID-LUMN-START:1;GRID-LUMN-END:2;}}{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;MARG-BOTTOM:5PX;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;} IMG{PADDG-RIGHT:7PX;}BY {LOR:#BA0600;}NATHAN S. {BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;}{DISPLAY:NONE;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;DISPLAY:BLOCK;PADDG-TOP:20PX;PADDG-BOTTOM:20PX;MARG-TOP:20PX;BORR-TOP:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-BOTTOM:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;}}{DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;WIDTH:TO;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;POSN:-WEBK-STICKY;POSN:STICKY;TOP:70PX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;POSN:UNSET;} {DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG:0PX;} > SPAN{WIDTH:35PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR-RADI:50%;} SVG{WIDTH:25PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EMAIL > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PRT > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_LK > SPAN{BACKGROUND-LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_UNTER .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EXPAND{WIDTH:35PX;HEIGHT:35PX;MARG:0PX;PADDG:0PX;BACKGROUND:NONE;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-RADI:50%;LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PACT{DISPLAY:NONE !IMPORTANT;} {MARG:0PX 5PX;}{POSN:RELATIVE;WIDTH:100%;} P{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;} OL{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;PADDG-LEFT:80PX;} P A, OL A, P A:VISED, OL A:VISED{LOR:#BA0600;-WEBK-TRANSN:0.3S ALL;TRANSN:0.3S ALL;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} P A:HOVER, OL A:HOVER{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} H1, H2, H3, H4, H5, H6{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;LOR:#7B1B18;}GAY PEOPLE ARE ENGAGED AN ONGOG STGGLE TO HAVE THEIR RIGHTS REGNIZED AND RPECTED. AS A STRAIGHT PERSON TALKG PRIMARILY TO OTHER STRAIGHTS. I HOPE TO SUPPORT ALL WHO ARE OPPRSED BEE OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN. THE FOC ON GAY MEN AS OPPOSED TO LBIANS IS ONLY A REFLECTN OF MY PERSONAL KNOWLEDGE.A YEAR AGO, NO ONE I KNEW WAS OPENLY GAY. MY NTACT WH HOMOSEXUALY UNTIL THEN WAS PROBABLY QUE STANDARD. WHEN I WAS SEVEN, MY MOTHER TALKED TO ME ABOUT PEOPLE LLED "FAIRI." SHE WARNED ME TO WATCH OUT FOR THEM, EXPLAG THAT THEIR EXISTENCE WAS A PY FOR THEM AND A NUISANCE FOR THE RT OF . FROM THEN ON, THE ISSUE WAS ABSENT OM NVERSATN AT HOME, EXCEPT WHEN SOMETHG ABOUT ANA BRYANT ME ON THE NEWS. WE ALL REGARD ANA AS SOMEWHAT OFF THE WALL, BUT NOT OUT OF ANY EPLY FELT VIEWS ON HOMOSEXUALY. AT SCHOOL, THE WORDS "GAY" AND "FAG" WERE ED ONLY AS SULTS TO STUNTS SO AWKWARD OR UNPOPULAR THAT THE TERM "WIMP" WOULD NOT DO. HOMOSEXUALY WAS SPOTLIGHTED ONLY ONCE: WHEN THE WOMEN'S STUDI CLASS VED A LBIAN TO SPEAK AND HALF THE PARENTS LLED UP TO PLA.THE FLUENC HELPED TO SHAPE MY VIEW OF HOMOSEXUALY. LIKE THE RT OF SOCIETY, I VIEWED THEM AS UNNATURAL AND DISGTG. I SAW HOMOSEXUALY AS RPTN OF "REAL" SEXUALY, AN UNFORTUNATE ELEMENT TO BE RTRICTED OR SUPRSED WHERE POSSIBLE. AND SPE THE STANDARD JOK, EP DOWN HOMOSEXUALY MA ME VERY UNFORTABLE.* * *ONE MORNG LAST SPRG, A POSTER ON MY DOOR SAID "DO YOU KNOW THAT SOMEONE YOU RE ABOUT IS GAY?" AS I WALKED TO BREAKFAST, I RAN MY MD OVER PEOPLE I RED ABOUT. CONCLUDG POSIVELY THAT NOT ONE WAS GAY. I DISMISSED THE SIGN AS PROPAGANDA FOR THE G GAY/LBIAN AWARENS DAY (GLAD).THAT NIGHT, ONE OF MY CLOST IENDS SAT ME DOWN TO TALK. THIS SELF WAS STRANGE, BEE WE UALLY TALKED QUE NATURALLY ON ANY SUBJECT. THE SUATN BEME MORE PECULIAR AS I WATCHED HIM. I HAD NEVER SEEN HIM SO NERVO. HE ULDN'T STICK TO ONE TOPIC OF NVERSATN. FALLY, AFTER A VERY LONG AND PAED TRODUCTN, HE TOLD ME HE WAS GAY. HE HAD KNOWN THIS THROUGHOUT OUR IENDSHIP.I DID MY BT TO SEEM LLECTED, BUT SI I WAS A MASS OF SHOCK AND NFN. I TRIED TO APPEAR OL AND THEN TOOK THE FIRST OPPORTUNY TO LEAVE I NEED TIME TO THK ABOUT THIS ALONE. AS I SAT ON A BENCH AND TRIED TO RELAX, I BEGAN TO THK HERENTLY: "THIS IS AN ENORMO THG; HOW ULD I NOT HAVE KNOWN ?" "WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME BEFORE?" "HOW MUCH DO THIS AFFECT HIS THOUGHTS AND ACTNS?" "HOW DO THIS MEAN HE SE ME?" "I FD HOMOSEXUALY REPULSIVE; HOW N A CLOSE IEND BE HOMOSEXUAL?" "I KNOW WHAT GAYS ARE LIKE: HOW N HE BE ONE?"MY IEND'S FACE SUDNLY ME TO FOC. I ULD STILL SEE HIM RIGHT ONT OF RACE. I ULD SEE HIM QUIVER AS HE BRACED FOR ME TO REACT. THERE WAS MY OWN IEND, WAG FOR ME TO REJECT HIM. REJECT... THIS MA ME THK OF OUR IENDSHIP. I REMEMBERED TIM WE HAD SPENT TOGETHER; TAST WE HAD SHARED, NEEDS WE HAD FILLED FOR EACH OTHER. AND HE HAD BEEN GAY ALL THE WHILE... BUT HADN'T THE TIM BEEN JT AS GOOD? IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE THEY HAD. AND ULDN'T THEY BE EQUALLY GOOD THE FUTURE? WHY NOT? THE ONLY DIFFERENCE NOW WAS THAT I KNEW SOMETHG THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN TE.MY THOUGHTS TURNED TO HIS POT OF VIEW. I GRIMACED, REMEMBERG TIM THAT HOMOSEXUALY HAD E UP NVERSATN. WHAT AN ACTOR HE HAD BEEN! HE HAD LGHED AT THE SAME JOK AND PROFSED THE SAME ATTUS AS I HAD. IN GROUPS OF GUYS HE HAD RATED THE GIRLS ALONG WH EVERYONE ELSE.I REALIZED HOW ALONE HE OFTEN MT FEEL. UNABLE TO BE HIS TE SELF, ED NDNED TO HATE THAT TE SELF, HE HAS TO AL NSTANTLY PRETENS. SUDNLY, I WANTED TO TALK TO {DISPLAY:BLOCK;MARG:0PX TO;WIDTH:100%;MAX-WIDTH:100%;BACKGROUND:TRANSPARENT;PADDG:10PX 0PX;} {FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;LOR:#333333;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;FONT-SIZE:0.7EM;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;DISPLAY:BLOCK;} {WIDTH:-WEBK-F-NTENT;WIDTH:-MOZ-F-NTENT;WIDTH:F-NTENT;MARG:0PX TO;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;}ADVERTISEMENTWHEN I WENT TO SEE HIM THAT NIGHT, I KNEW THE ISSUE WOULD AFFECT ME OM THEN ON. I HAD TAKEN A STRONG FIRST STEP BY WORKG THROUGH MOST OF MY FEELGS ABOUT HIS HOMOSEXUALY. YET I STILL FELT THREATENED MYSELF. SOMETHG NAGGED EP SI THAT IF I THOUGHT OR TALKED ABOUT TOO MUCH, THIS GAYNS MIGHT SPREAD TO ME TOO, OR SRIER, EXPOSE SOMETHG ALREADY THERE. BUT IF I WANTED TO KEEP MY IEND, HOWEVER NERVO I WAS. I HAD TO FACE SUCH POSSIBILI.I AM LUCKY THAT I DID. LEARNG ABOUT THIS ISSUE CHANGED AND ENRICHED ME WAYS THAT I ULD NOT HAVE IMAGED. MY IEND, LIGHTED NOT ONLY THAT WE WERE AS CLOSE AS BEFORE, BUT THAT I WAS TERTED UNRSTANDG HOMOSEXUALY BETTER, TRODUCED ME TO HIS GAY IENDS. WH THIS NEW AWARENS, I DISVERED THAT SEVERAL HIGH SCHOOL IENDS WERE ALSO GAY AND HAD KNOWN ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. THIS FLOOD OF NEW KNOWLEDGE STROYED MOST OF MY MISNCEPTNS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY. FEARS AND PREJUDIC, HOWEVER, TOOK LONGER; DISPELLG THEM REQUIR A URAGE AND EFFORT BEYOND SIMPLY ACQUIRG KNOWLEDGE. THIS WHOLE PROCS OF TN HAS LED ME TO THE FOLLOWG NCLNS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY.HOSTILY TO HOMOSEXUALY STEMS LARGELY OM SECURY AND IGNORANCE. LIKE ALL PREJUDICE, OURS AGAST GAYS IS NOT BASED ON RATNAL REASONG. I BELIEVE STEMS LARGELY OM SECURY, OM A EP FEAR THAT WE MAY BE OR BEE GAY OURSELV. FOR SOME, GREAT AFFECTN FOR A IEND OF THE SAME SEX MAY E THIS WORRY. FOR OTHERS, MAY BE LS NSC. BUT, SOCIAL ATTUS TOWARD HOMOSEXUALY MAGNIFY THIS WORRY TO A HORROR. SOME RPOND TO WH RISN OR HOSTILY TO GAYS, HOPG THIS WILL REAFFIRM THEIR HETEROSEXUALY. BUT MOST SIMPLY TRY TO CROWD ANY THOUGHT OF HOMOSEXUALY OUT OF THEIR HEADS. THAT CREAT ANOTHER SOURCE OF HOSTILY TO GAYS: IGNORANCE. SHUTTG HOMOSEXUALY OUT OF OUR WORLD FOSTERS THE SAME FEAR AND MISTST OF THE ALIEN THAT HAS ALWAYS LED PEOPLE TO HATE EACH OTHER. OUR PREJUDICE AGAST GAY PEOPLE WILL LGER AS LONG AS THEY ARE UNFAIAR. ONLY EE TERACTN WH THEM WILL SHOW THAT THEY ARE PEOPLE JT LIKE OURSELV.HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT NTAG. ASSOCIATG WH GAY PEOPLE WILL NOT MAKE YOU GAY; N ONLY BRG OUT HOMOSEXUAL TENNCI IF THEY ALREADY EXIST. FOR ME, LEARNG ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY STRENGTHENED RATHER THAN NFED MY SEXUAL INTY. BEE I UNRWENT SUCH AN TENSE EXAMATN OF THIS SUBJECT AND MY FEELGS ABOUT . I HAD LTLE DOUBT ONCE I HAD FISHED. HAD I BEEN GAY, SUCH HARD THKG WOULD ONLY HAVE HELPED ME UNRSTAND MYSELF. SO NTACT WH HOMOSEXUALY WILL NOT CHANGE OUR SEXUAL INTY, ONLY CLARIFY .HOMOSEXUALY IS A VALID FORM OF LOVE. WHAT STCK ME MOST LEARNG ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL RELATNSHIP IS THE AMAZG SIARY TO STRAIGHT ON THE FEELGS AND EMOTNS THEY VOLVE. WHOUT THE NAM AND PRONOUNS, A SCRIPTN OF A GAY AFFAIR IS LERALLY DISTGUISHABLE OM THAT OF A STRAIGHT ONE. ADVICE I MIGHT GIVE TO A GAY MAN ABOUT A ROMANCE IS EQUALLY APPLIBLE TO A STRAIGHT WOMAN. SEEG HOW NATURAL AND BETIFUL A GAY RELATNSHIP N BE HAS NVCED ME THAT IS NOT ANY WAY A PERVERSN, RPTN OR MISE OF SEXUALY. IT IS SIMPLY AN ALTERNATIVE. THERE IS A PACY TO LOVE ALL PEOPLE, AND A STANDARD LIMG SEXUAL NTACT TO OPPOSE SEX IS AT BT ARTIFICIAL, AT WORST VERY CEL TO THOSE WHO ARE NOT PART OF THE NORM THAT CREATED . ESPECIALLY THE PRSURED AND SOMETIM LONELY ATMOSPHERE OF LLEGE, ANY KD OF REAL AFFECTN IS VALUABLE. WE SHOULD RE MORE THAT EXISTS THAN BETWEEN WHOM.CRICS OF HOMOSEXUALY ADM MAY BE AS PERSONALLY FULFILLG AS HETEROSEXUALY. BUT THEY CLAIM IS SOCIALLY UNSIRABLE BEE THE GAY LIFTYLE PRECLUS THE JOY OF THE FAY AND UNRM A SOCIAL STCTURE BASED ON THE FAY UN. HOMOSEXUALY SHOULD TH BE DISURAGED LT ENTICE ANY HONT HETEROSEXUALS. THERE ARE TWO PROBLEMS WH THIS ARGUMENT. FIRST, IF FAY LIFE REALLY IS PREFERABLE, MOST PEOPLE WILL CHOOSE . OPPRSG SOMEONE TO AN UNWANTED LIFTYLE BEE HE WILL ENJOY MORE IS ILLOGIL. SEND, MANY OF TODAY'S HETEROSEXUAL UPL CI NOT TO HAVE FAI. ALTHOUGH THEY ARE AS GUILTY AS GAYS OF THREATENG THE FAY LIFTYLE, WE DO NOT PERSECUTE THEM.HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT A PHASE. MANY HETEROSEXUALS BELIEVE THAT GAY PEOPLE CHOOSE THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR ARE SIMPLY "GOG THROUGH A PHASE." THIS IS OFTEN ED TO JTIFY DISCRIMATN, HOPG WILL "BRG THEM AROUND" TO HETEROSEXUALY. IT WON'T. ALL THE GAY PEOPLE I HAVE QUTNED ON THIS KNEW THEY WERE GAY AT QUE A YOUNG AGE AND EXPECT ALWAYS TO REMA SO. THOUGH NONE N SAY IS BLOGILLY TERMED, THEY ALL REGARD THEIR HOMOSEXUALY AS MUCH MORE THAN A STATE OF MD. IT IS AN SENTIAL PART OF THEM. CLEARLY, PERSECUTG THEM WILL NOT DUCE THEM TO CHANGE, ONLY E THEM TO SUFFER.GAY PEOPLE DO NOT PLACE UNDO EMPHASIS ON SEX. HOMOSEXUALS ARE DIFFERENTIATED AS A GROUP BY THEIR SEXUAL HABS. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS FOSTERS THE IMPRSN THAT THEY ARE OVERSEXED OR SEXUALLY PERVERTED, SADO-MASOCHISTS, OR CHILD MOLTERS.THIS NOTN IS AS UNFOUND AS IS HARMFUL. GAY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FOUND STATISTILLY LS LIKELY TO MOLT CHILDREN THAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE, AND NO MORE VLENT OR UNBALANCED THAN ANYONE ELSE. NOR IS SEX THE FOC OF MOST GAYS' LIV. FOR THE ON I KNOW, HAS S PLACE AMONG AMICS, EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVI AND IENDSHIPS. ONCE WE INTIFY PEOPLE BY THEIR PERSONALI AND TERTS STEAD OF THEIR PRIVATE LIV, WE WILL PUT THIS ISSUE PROPER PERSPECTIVE.THE GAY STEREOTYPE IS DAMAGG. THE GREATT SHOCK TO MY NAIVETE ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY WAS FDG OUT HOW MON IS. STUDI TO TERME EXACTLY HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE GAY NSISTENTLY SETTLE AROUND 10 PER CENT OF THE POPULATN. THIS MEANS THERE ARE 20 TO 25 LN GAY AMERINS. THE 10-PER-CENT FIGURE AT FIRST SEEMED TO ME IMPOSSIBLE BEE SO FEW PEOPLE. I KNEW F THE IMAGE I HAD OF A GAY PERSON. I HAVE SCE REALIZED THAT THE VAST MAJORY OF GAY PEOPLE DO NOT F THIS IMAGE. THE ARE THE GAYS WE DO NOT PERCEIVE. THEY E OM ALL SECTORS OF SOCIETY AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHG MON SEXUAL PREFERENCE. ONLY A SMALL PERCENTAGE FEEL FORTABLE ENOUGH TO BE OPEN ABOUT THEIR HOMOSEXUALY. IT IS SENTIAL TO REALIZE HOW LARGE AND VAR A GROUP THE PEOPLE ARE, AND HOW MANY OF OUR IENDS ARE AMONG THEM. OTHERWISE WE WILL NOT UNRSTAND WHOM OUR PREJUDICE STRIK.ADVERTISEMENTTHE RELIG ARGUMENT AGAST HOMOSEXUALY IS HYPOCRIL. AMONG THE THOANDS OF L AND LAWS THE OLD TTAMENT IS FOUND, "THOU SHALT NOT LIE WH MANKD, AS WH WOMANKD: IS ABOMATN." (LEVIC 18:22). FOR SOME, THIS STATEMENT IS SUFFICIENT TO VOKE THE MORAL THORY OF GOD AGAST HOMOSEXUALY BUT THIS IS CLEARLY A SE OF SELECTIVE E OF HIS WORD. THE SAME BOOK OF THE BIBLE ALSO TEACH MEN NOT TO HARVT THE RNERS OF THEIR FIELDS AND NOT TO TOUCH A WOMAN FOR EIGHT DAYS AFTER SHE MENSTAT. YET WE NSIR THE LAWS "OUTDATED" AND IGNORE THEM--FOR GOOD REASON. RUL AGAST HOMOSEXUALY AND MASTURBATN ALSO PLAYED AN IMPORTANT ROLE PRERVG THE SPECI. BUT NOW THAT WE HAVE THE OPPOSE POPULATN PROBLEM, THE L SHOULD BE NSIRED AS OBSOLETE AS THE OTHERS.THE ISSUE OF BIRTH NTROL IS STCTIVE HERE. ITS PRACTICE IS ALSO FORBIDN BY A LERAL TERPRETATN OF THE BIBLE, YET WE DO NOT PERSECUTE THOSE WHO E . IN FACT, MANY ERS ARE THE SAME ON WHO NMN HOMOSEXUALY AS UNGODLY. THIS SELECTIVE PIETY IS THE BAST HYPOCRISY.GAYS ARE OPPRSED. THE EARLY LIFE OF EVERY GAY IS FILLED WH TNTS OF "FAG" AND "QUEER." THE TEACH HIM TO HATE WHAT HE IS. THEY MAKE ADMISSN OF HIS HOMOSEXUALY TO HIMSELF A CSHG BLOW. THE GAY WH ENOUGH URAGE TO STEP OUT OF HIS CLOSET IS ALSO OPPRSED. HE IS OSTRACIZED BY MANY OF HIS IENDS, OFTEN PLETELY REJECTED BY HIS IENDS, OFTEN PLETELY REJECTED BY HIS FAY, REGARD AS MISGUID OR MENTED BY THE RT OF SOCIETY, HARASSED, RIDICULED, AND SOMETIM EVEN PHYSILLY ATTACKED. EVEN IF A GAY IS ACCEPTED BY HIS FAY AND IENDS, HE STILL FAC VASTATG SOCIAL DISCRIMATN. HE N LEGALLY BE EXCLUD OM ANY KD OF EMPLOYMENT, PUBLIC OR PRIVATE, BARRED BY LABOR UNNS, NIED HOG, MORTGAGE, CRED SURANCE, EVEN PUBLIC ACODATNS. IN ALL 50 STAT HE IS EMED UNF TO TEACH SCHOOL. IN EACH SE, HE IS JUDGED AS A WORKER, TENANT OR CTOMER NOT BY HIS CRENTIALS FOR SUCH ACTIVI, BUT BY HOW HE NDUCTS HIS PRIVATE LIFE.THE SUATN AT HARVARD IS NO BETTER. THE MOTN PASSED CHUL THIS WEEK REMENDG AN OFFICIAL NON-DISCRIMATN CLSE UNIVERSY POLICY IS AN IMPORTANT STEP FORWARD. BUT WE STILL HAVE FAR TO GO. THE EPISO THIS FALL WHICH THE GAY STUNTS ASSOCIATN WAS NIED ACCS TO STUNT REGISTRATN PACKETS DRAMATIZED THE REALY OF STUTNAL DISCRIMATN.THE ADMISTRATN IS NOT THE ONLY PROBLEM. STUNTS CTOMARILY FACE AND RIP DOWN POSTERS FOR GAY AND LBIAN EVENTS. LAST SPRG THEY HURLED TNTS, SULTS AND EVEN FOOD AT OTHER STUNTS ANNOUNCG GLAD DAY THE DG HALLS. ONE STUNT WAS EVEN ATTACKED--FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN HIS HOMOSEXUALY--WHILE CLEANG UP AFTER A GAY/LBIAN DANCE LAST APRIL. IN A MUNY AS TED AS OURS IS, THIS KD OF ABE IS HARD TO UNRSTAND. FOR A LEADG UNIVERSY THE UNED STAT AND THE WORLD, IS UNACCEPTABLE. IT IS TIME FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE TO REALIZE THAT WE MT CHANGE. IT IS WE WHO E THE SUFFERG OF GAY PEOPLE. OUR ATTUS E GUILT, SHAME, AND LONELS, AND OUR ACTNS E FEAR AND ALIENATN. AS THE MAJORY, WE N CHANGE THE SUATN. PUBLICLY, WE MT SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS. PRIVATELY, WE MT REALIZE THAT WE KNOW GAY PEOPLE. REVISG OUR ATTUS, EVEN SUCH SMALL WAYS AS HOW WE REFER TO GAYS, WILL MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELV AND ABOUT . AS SUCH CHANGE OCCURS, NOT ONLY WILL THE GAY PEOPLE OUR MIDST BEE UNBURNED, BUT THE RT OF WILL EELY ENJOY THE ENERGY AND TALENTS OF A TREMENDO GROUP OF PEOPLE.NATHAN S. SZANTON '83 LIV SOUTH {FONT-SIZE:16.5PX;LE-HEIGHT:26PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;MARG:1EM TO;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;}WANT TO KEEP UP WH BREAKG NEWS? 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While we’re begng to throw off the labels that n rtrict , n be hard for men to exprs themselv emotnally whout beg thought of as gay and s of opprsn has shown that beg gay is viewed by many as ferr. We may believe that to fd another man attractive mak ls of a man – whatever that you don’t want to thk of yourself as gay or bi then don’t.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE GAY, STRAIGHT, OR SOMETHG BETWEEN?

Every time you attend a Pri March, ftival or cent Gay Club Night, you may have noticed jt how many fellow queers live your cy.

There are a few webs that list specialized LGBTQ meet-ups, but hontly, simply Google your hobby, cy, and the word "gay" and see what up. When I me out to my parents I started off by sayg "Hey one of my iends me out to me and said they were gay what should I do?

Durg that time I jt felt like everythg was wrong wh me, if only I was a boy or if only she was gay or if only I didn't love her etc.. In addn, sexual orientatn is not jt about who you have feelgs for, 's also about how you thk of yourself (as, straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, or somethg else), and how you actually behave. This stereotype has ed people to start lookg for their own GBFs, and ed some gay men to feel prsured to f themselv to that box.

HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND

Jt like straight people, gay people n be fashnable or cluels, sporty or un-athletic, sassy or straight-laced, supportive or distant, iendly or gff, and any other mix of personaly tras.

Even if you believe you mt have that flamboyant gay man to be your GBF, nsir first the person si––what you are lookg for is a te iend, not a rative accsory. Don't bee iends wh a gay person of a different genr, hopg to change them so they will "play for the other team" and start datg you.

Conversely, if you fd them movg away om you or not makg eye ntact, they still may be adjtg to you tellg them you’re gay. For example, “I have wanted to tell you for a long time, even before you knew I was gay, but I waed bee I didn’t want to drop all the bombshells on you at once. Crisis: 40 Stori Revealg the Personal, Social, and Relig Pa and Trma of Growg Up Gay Ameri Mchell Gold and Mdy Dcker Greenleaf Book Group, LLC, 2008.

IN LOVE WH MY BT IEND, BUT HE'S GAY

Article SummaryXTellg a iend that you’re gay and you love them is somethg that you’ll want to do stag so you don’t overwhelm your iend. At school, the words "gay" and "fag" were ed only as sults to stunts so awkward or unpopular that the term "wimp" would not do. Homosexualy was spotlighted only once: when the women's studi class ved a lbian to speak and half the parents lled up to fluenc helped to shape my view of homosexualy.