Miss Manners: Nosy women at retirement muny ask rint ‘are you gay?’ durg dner

There’s nothg wrong wh beg gay, but there are still many rotten eggs who throw around slurs and ll people gay mdlsly, so helps to know what to say when someone lls you gay. * if i were you gay if i was you *

Many still have a crimal rerd to this also tails how some veterans faced a plete loss of e, while others were emed eligible to claim their pensn bee of their report more than 20 years after four servicemen and women, who were sacked for beg gay, won a se the European Court of Human Rights and overturned the armed forc chary Royal Brish Legn lled on the ernment to accept the report's remendatns chary's director general Charl Byrne weled both the report and Mr Sunak's "landmark apology", sayg many people who had dited their liv to the untry were "forced or felt prsured to leave the armed forc, and this mistreatment stroyed or shortened their reer". Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.

'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

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Men beg attracted to another man emotnally, physilly, and mentally are known as gays. Fd out if you're gay wh our quiz. * if i were you gay if i was you *

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage".

In fact, this be a growth experience for Malyn who soon learns that she has a purpose and inty of her own apart om wife to a cheatg 's te that the movie sometim feels like 's a beat or two off s more broadly ic moments (pecially early on the film) and the endg rat as a b of a cheat and pout, but those weakns are easily overlooked amidst fe performanc by Marcia Gay Harn, Leonor Watlg, Joseph Kell and Aidan Qun and an overall wisdom about how life works.

The pictn of a ma character an agonisg prediment, but whose basic cency ws out time and aga over her broken heart, is rare popular culture, and brilliantly performed by Marcia Gay Harn. This film is one of those unfettable films that reach to the ner re of the heart - yet is handled unnventnally and wh more savvy than one has e to expect the Gay Harn is outstandg this film.

AM I GAY, STRAIGHT, LBIAN, BISEXUAL OR LGBTQ+?

Still, wh some wonrful actg om Marcia Gay Harn and many wonrful moments, is still very film begs wh a woman (Harn) disverg that her hband is cheatg on her. I am only wrg to exprs my appreciatn for the film and s wonrful actg by Harn and Gay Harn's Malyn is worth the price of admissn self agast which Leonora Watlg's Lucy holds her own.

Marcia Gay Hard is out of this world fabulo "If I Were You" om is Malyn, a married reer woman who fds out her hband is havg an affair wh a young woman - she spots them at a rtrant. And I’m really sorry if I’m havg movie spoilers my answers would happen if “Buffy the Vampire Slayer, ” two of the vampir met high school and had a gay romance?

But how do you know if you are gay (or any of the wonrful inti along the LGBTQ+ spectm and Ksey Sle - om bisexual and pansexual to queer), or jt gog through a perd of qutng your sexual orientatn? Sadly we live a culture which giv the ia that 's more “normal” or “better” to be straight than is to be gay, bisexual, pansexual, queer, etc.

WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE GAY?

Bee sexualy is so plex and nstantly evolvg, there unfortunately is no one way to be sure whether you are ‘really’ straight, gay, lbian, bisexual, pansexual or queer.

We n be attracted to people irrpective of their genr, do not mean we need to label ourselv as gay, straight, pansexual - unls we choose to do so, ’ explas Marianne Oak, lead unsellor for and a specialist sexualy, genr and diverse relatnships. I had already been asked a ln tim, "When did you know you were gay", but I was thrilled to have someone state the qutn aloud, the ntext of an amic exercise.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

If I was gay, I wonred if meant that I would be required to cut my hair to a buzzcut like the (first, ostensibly) lbian (I had ever nfirmed as such) my mother had poted out to me at the Ralph Lren outlet a middle-class untry town you might fd somewhere like Vermont; a untry town where you might fd lbians. You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change. I me out at a nservative Christian llege the US and was a gay relatnship for around two years wh a basketball player who end up marryg a woman.

17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)

But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup. Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to. ” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy.

”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns.

HOW GAY ARE YOU?

“Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy. ” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame.

”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay. Patrick Grzanka, Assistant Profsor of Psychology at Universy of Tennsee, for stance, has shown that some people who believe that homosexualy is nate still hold negative views of gays.

In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance. “It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists.

34 OF THE BT RPONS WHEN SOMEONE ASSUM AND CALLS YOU GAY

Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins.

And when I published my say on choosg to be gay, an irate Amerin lbian activist wrote me that had “jt been nfirmed” to her that my wrg was “directly rponsible for four gay aths Rsia.

There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected. The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure.

AM I GAY? QUIZ – 100% RELIABLE TT

The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors. ”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time.

” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way?

Another landmark paper on the origs of homosexualy was published 1993 by a geicist named Dean Hamer, who was terted to learn whether homosexualy uld be hered.

WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

Begng om his observatn that there are more gay relativ on a mother’s si than a father’s, Hamer turned his attentn to the X chromosome (which is passed on by the mother).

I WAS TEAM DESANTIS BEFORE HIS DISGTG ANTI-GAY AD

Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at. ”The other problem wh Born This Way science is summed up nicely by Simon Copland: “Scientists are askg whether homosexualy is natural when we n’t even agree exactly what homosexualy is. ” Our sir may exprs themselv many different ways that do not all nform to existg notns of ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ is one of the bt takeaways of Ward’s Not Gay, a peratg analysis of sex between straight whe men.

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