Can Gay and Straight Men Really Be Friends? | Psychology Today South Ai

Contents:

• I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN
• GAY MEN MAL STOCK PHOTOS AND IMAG
• I AM GAY AND I'M LOVE WH A STRAIGHT, WHAT N I DO?
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN
• ‘HE BROKE MY HEART TO A BILLN PIEC’: WHEN A STRAIGHT WOMAN FALLS LOVE WH A GAY MAN
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• I WAS SURE I WAS GAY – UNTIL I FELL LOVE WH MY BT FEMALE IEND
• WHEN A MARRIED STRAIGHT MAN FALLS LOVE WH ANOTHER MANHOMEGENERAL,LGBTI,MIXED ORIENTATN MARRIAGEWHEN A MARRIED STRAIGHT MAN FALLS LOVE WH ANOTHER MAN PREV NEXT VIEW LARGER IMAGE WHEN A MARRIED STRAIGHT MAN FALLS LOVE WH ANOTHER MANFACEBOOK537TWEET0P0LKEDIN0EMAIL0PRT0SHAR537WHEN A MARRIED ‘STRAIGHT’ MAN FALLS LOVE WH ANOTHER MAN
• KEV SPACEY: I N’T TELL WHETHER MEN ARE GAY JT BY LOOKG AT THEM
• NEWLY PUBLISHED PORTRAS DOCUMENT A CENTURY OF GAY MEN LOVE
• CAN A GAY MAN FALL LOVE WH A WOMAN?

I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN

My last post scribed a populatn of mal who nsir themselv heterosexual, do not label themselv gay or bisexual, chew volvement wh the LGBT muny, are often married or romantilly volved wh an oppose-sex partner, and who engage sex wh mal or exprs the sire to do so. Due large part to the popularizatn of the topic the btsellg 2005 book On the Down Low: A Journey to the Liv of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep wh Men, [i] Lato and Ain-Amerin men are the primary subjects rearch wh non-gay intified MSM.

One of the earlit studi, "The Bisexual and Non-Gay Attached Rearch Project" om the early 1990s, found that participants engagg same-sex sexual behavr but not intifyg as gay or bisexual scribed themselv as “kky, ” “normal, ” or “jt a guy. [iii] Daryl Hood, Garrett Prtage, June Crawford, Tania Sorrell, and Chris O’Reilly, "Report on the BANGAR Project: Bisexual Activy/non Gay Attachment Rearch Targetg Strategi Intifitn Project. Ramamurthi, Cleo Manago, Serg Ava, and Marv Jon, “Sexual Behavr, Sexual Inty, and Substance Abe Among Low-Ine Bisexual and Non-Gay-Intifyg Ain Amerin Men Who Have Sex wh Men, ” Archiv of Sexual Behavr 37, no.

We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another. Send, recent rearch has argued that genr and sexual orientatn might not be as black and whe as prevly thought, which opens up new avenu for explorg how gay and straight men n relate to one another. If a straight guy and his gay male iend are ls rigid about their masculy and sexualy, they’ll probably be more likely to discs tails about their sexual and romantic liv openly wh one another.

GAY MEN MAL STOCK PHOTOS AND IMAG

In short, women are able to tst the datg advice om gay male iends bee they know their gay iends don’t have any ulterr motiv: They’re not tryg to hook up wh them or pete wh them for guys. Jt as a gay man might be able to pass on advice about women to his straight iend, a straight man uld nnect his gay male iend wh another sirable gay man, sce neher the gay man nor his straight iend are petg for the same person.

We believe that havg a tstworthy nfidant to help wh romantic pursus is one of the major reasons straight and gay men are leavg the fort of their same-sex, same-orientatn iend groups to form “bromosexual” iendships.

I AM GAY AND I'M LOVE WH A STRAIGHT, WHAT N I DO?

That's what this guy is tryg to figure a pretty tense Redd post, er ProbablyGay1 shar wh fellow Redd ers the story of his iendship and possible romance wh his bt iend, two formed an unlikely iendship high school when Ian was a "ol" guy who was "geilly blsed the facial partment, " and ProbablyGay1 was a self-proclaimed then, their iendship has really lated to what's fely a bt iendship, and what's also que possibly a very betiful fact, ProbablyGay1 explas that there are all sorts of signs that pot toward the directn of a "very betiful romance. "Fally, what I fd as possibly the most plsible evince leang toward the two of them beg more than iends is that ProbablyGay1 is totally head-over-heels love wh Ian:I thk about Ian a lot.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

I don't really re how ProbablyGay1 choos to go about askg Ian about their relatnship, but I sure hope that he do me tell you, for starters, I thk all signs here pot to Ian feelg the same way. TL;DR - I thought I was straight, got cur, started chattg wh a guy 3 hours away, met up, did everythg together, talked everyday sce we met, velopg feelgs for each other, need to take slow, not sure how but termed to figure out, never been happier, both closet bi/gay.

‘HE BROKE MY HEART TO A BILLN PIEC’: WHEN A STRAIGHT WOMAN FALLS LOVE WH A GAY MAN

The qutn of how he se his gayns relatn to his two marriag to women, specifilly his current marriage to you, is both more salient and open-end, so I’d suggt you start by askg him to share more of his thoughts on the subject wh you. That will get you a lot further than tryg to figure out if your hband is “really” bisexual (and, implicly, whether that means you n safely hope he won’t leave you for someone else) or “really” gay (and, implicly, whether you have to fear that he’s gog to break up wh you for another man). But you need to know that if the person dont want to do somethg wh you, you need to pass no matter have to rpect that the person you like is straight jt like how he rpect and accept you beg Gay.

Sure, an ocsnal teenage girl falls for a boy who's gay, but don't take most girls very long to figure out that, this se, where there's smoke, there's most fely not fire. In general, the attractn women feel for gay men tends to be emotnal nature, clearg the way for a highly satisfyg relatnship that outlasts most other relatnships gay men and straight women have. Send, straight women love gay men bee closens wh gay men provis a wdow to how the mds of men work, somethg that women want to know as they navigate datg waters wh their straight male peers.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

When to the sexualy of young straight and gay men—meang, how equently they thk about sex, want , or feel impatient to get to the actual sex part—there are undoubtedly siari. In general, gay men, and gay women, too, tend to be more fearls than their straight unterparts—particularly straight men—bee they’ve ually experienced bullyg and prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn. Davidson says she is not sure what she feels about the term “fag hag.” It has a rogatory air, so she prefers “handbag.” But both refer to the same thg — straight women who have strong, often highly tense and mutually supportive relatnships wh gay men.

The days, straight women and gay men who get along would probably jt be lled iends, but “handbags” were often vol and visual supporters of the LGBTQ muny when discrimatn — legal and otherwise — was still rampant.

She says she is a “third-generatn handbag.” Her grandmother was a “beard,” or fake girliend, to gay men she was close to, while her mother helped when the muny was beg vastated by AIDS. Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a woman.He said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough".He said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'".When Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3,000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance blossomed.Three years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos".He relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife."Danny Beard on Same Sex Love and MarriageDanny explor same-sex weddgs, fdg out why upl chose to get married, the challeng unrpng this cisn and what mak the wedd relatnships work.The uple said they now wanted to help people who were not as ee and strive for "equaly for everyone"."Now I'm here a safe place I want to fight for others to be able to marry who they want," Adam said."I'm so lucky but I want everyone else Sdi to marry the one they love whout facg discrimatn and persecutn." Image source, Fay photographImage ptn, Peter McGrah and David Cabreza say they are "very proud" to have been the first same-sex uple married EnglandMore than 40,000 same-sex marriag took place between 2014 and 2020, acrdg to the Office for Natnal StatisticsPeter McGrah and David Cabreza, origally om Stland and the US, ma history when they beme the first same-sex uple to marry England on 29 March 2014.The trailblazers married jt after midnight at Islgton Town Hall. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage"."It was so sweet seeg him so happy," Mr Cabreza said.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

Osr-wng actor Kev Spacey has said he is attracted to mascule men but is not able to tell whether someone is gay jt by lookg at them.Unr cross-examatn durg his trial on sex abe charg, the Hollywood star nied he was a “sexual bully” and told the jury he did not have a “power wand” to make people want to sleep wh him.Asked about his sexual preferenc, Mr Spacey said he had prevly had romantic enunters wh men who would not scribe themselv as homosexual.Prsed on whether he was attracted to straight men, he replied: “How would I know if they were straight or not? I don’t know if someone is gay or straight by lookg at them.”Christe Agnew KC, prosecutg, challenged Mr Spacey’s assertn that he was a “big flirt” and suggted he had ed his posn as the “goln boy of the London theatre scene”, to do what he wanted, nfint his alleged victims would not be believed.He was givg evince for a send day at Southwark Crown Court, where he is facg 12 sex abe charg agast four men that are dated between 2001 and 2013.‘Hard to tst people’The Hollywood actor dismissed the prosecutn se agast him as “weak” and claimed one of the plaants was after “money, money and then money”.He told the jury he uld have had sex all the time if he had chosen to but found hard to tst people bee of his fame.Asked if he nsired himself to be a powerful man, the fendant said: “I did not have a power wand that I waved ont of people’s fac whenever I wanted someone to go to bed wh me.”Mr Spacey is acced of repeatedly grabbg some of his victims by the crotch, wh the prosecutn suggtg was somethg of a “tramark” of his.When Ms Agnew asked Mr Spacey whether he nsired a crotch grab to be an “appropriate” first move, the actor replied: “That’s generally not a first move.”Qutned on what “mov” would be appropriate, the Hollywood actor told the urt: “Every enunter that we have as humans, that I have had, is unique.“The circumstance is unique, the person is unique, and how we have teracted is unique.“I n’t give you a sort of ndown of what always happens, ’s always different.”He is also acced of takg advantage of an aspirg actor who passed out his apartment and who claims he awoke to disver Mr Spacey performg a sex act on him.But the actor told jurors that the pair had been a romantic suatn and nied that he had attacked the plaant while he was asleep.“I don’t know who ma the first move but we were nsensually together a romantic suatn. The days, straight woman and gay men who get along would probably jt be lled mat, but “handbags” were often vol and visual supports of the homosexual muny when discrimatn — legal and otherwise — was still rampant.

Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.

Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh. And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy. Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships.

I WAS SURE I WAS GAY – UNTIL I FELL LOVE WH MY BT FEMALE IEND

S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur. Gay men have suffered physil, social, and psychologil abe at the hands of heterosexually intified mal who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully jtified flictg the terrors.

This legacy of vlence, both physil and psychologil, flicted by straight men toward those of who are gay naturally fuels our utn and distst at the thought of beiendg them. Its te that people like to be around like md people and so socially may spend more time among their own however s not set stone and many lbgt people cludg myself have a mixture of gay/bi/straight iends. McKellan is a gay man who me out 1988, and although 33 years have passed sce he me out, n still be shockg to the world to see such a close same-sex iendship that cross sexual inti.

McKie’s rearch reported that straight participants felt that a gay iend ma for the ultimate wgman bee the gay iend uld help to attract prospective partners for the straight iend. McKie noted that the straight men felt their gay iend was able to make succsful troductns to straight women bee the women tsted their gay male iends to troduce them to a good person. The lack of petn for the same prospective partners allows the iendship to flourish a way that may be hred to some gree for gay or straight men iendships wh men who share the same sexual orientatn.

WHEN A MARRIED STRAIGHT MAN FALLS LOVE WH ANOTHER MANHOMEGENERAL,LGBTI,MIXED ORIENTATN MARRIAGEWHEN A MARRIED STRAIGHT MAN FALLS LOVE WH ANOTHER MAN PREV NEXT VIEW LARGER IMAGE WHEN A MARRIED STRAIGHT MAN FALLS LOVE WH ANOTHER MANFACEBOOK537TWEET0P0LKEDIN0EMAIL0PRT0SHAR537WHEN A MARRIED ‘STRAIGHT’ MAN FALLS LOVE WH ANOTHER MAN

Straight men also reported havg more emotnally vulnerable nversatns wh their gay iends bee they felt safer to do so, relative to attemptg to discs siar topics wh other straight men.

KEV SPACEY: I N’T TELL WHETHER MEN ARE GAY JT BY LOOKG AT THEM

Yet when the men were forced to choose between straight, bisexual or gay, about three-quarters marked straight bee for them bisexual, even if is unrstood as “bisexual-leang straight, ” is too gay to accurately scribe their inty.

I was cur bee is a fairly mon theme the stori you'll fd someplace like Nifty Archive, which for better or worse, do provi a wdow to gay men's Anonymoreply 3November 2, 2015 2:42 AM.

I serly doubt they were genuely straight, but I've been wh guys who were married to women and I know plenty of other gay men who have, tooby Anonymoreply 7November 2, 2015 3:01 AM.

NEWLY PUBLISHED PORTRAS DOCUMENT A CENTURY OF GAY MEN LOVE

[quote]One thg I'll say is that both s, the formerly married guy is very good-lookg and mascule and the gay partner much ls Jt go away, you self loathg Anonymoreply 10November 2, 2015 3:15 AM. The llectn clus Espac Dos (Spa) In the Name of the Father (Brazil), My Straight Boyiend (US), Tth or Consequenc (Brazil), Coffee Date (US), Poprn & Coke (UK), and productn, box office & pany PhotosMore like thisReview Half hearted llectn of gay short filmsThis is by far the poort llectn of gay shorts that I've seen marketed. CNN — (CNN) — Somehow, the origal “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” premiered on Bravo two s ago this month, prentg five gay men – each specializg a specific liftyle area – as they scend upon a (ually) heterosexual male subject need of some support, whether was wh clothg choic, groomg, anizatn or perhaps an unrlyg issue around self was a novel take on the makeover ncept, not only terms of beg one of the first monstroly succsful programs the then-nascent realm of realy TV, but also one of the first tl to feature not one – but five – gay people as the leads.

Krsley agreed, sayg, “We meet people all the time who are probably their thirti now, who say, ‘I me om a very nservative fay, we were very relig, “Gay” was not somethg that was ever spoken about our home, and your show allowed to at least have that nversatn, if not make easier for me to e out. ’”He add that of urse, isn’t only gay people who approach them wh spiratnal msag, and that at the time the origal show aired, the st saw how their visibily as gay people wh a larger straight world was beg received firsthand.

CAN A GAY MAN FALL LOVE WH A WOMAN?

”That, particular, is what “QEFTSG” showsed and celebrated – the person-to-person nnectns that exist outsi of larger cultural, societal or polil shifts or trends, nnectns that showed and celebrated, the se of the show, jt some of the ways which LGBTQ+ people n for those who cricized the origal seri for rercg stereotyp by havg a gay fashnista or bety expert swoop to tidy thgs up, Colls creds his rint foodie Allen for a memorable moment at the show’s first NBC upont Los Angel back 2003, when he faced a slew of reporters and had the perfect retort. “Ted fally grabbed , really grabbed a hold of the answer, which was like, ‘Yeah, we are, as a matter of fact, owng the clich around the fact that gays have a different perspective, have a unique visn and perspective of a lot of different thgs. Now I am olr life I don’t thk this will happen or that I would allow to my personal experience, and om the many gay men and women straight marriag I’ve worked wh, fallg love is equently the talyst that jolts them out of nial about their sexual orientatn.

So when you are sayg "foc on the more submissive aspects of " and referencg the prev post where someone suggted this was more about beg submissive than about beg gay, n you elaborate on that?

Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love.