Internatnal OCD Foundatn | How Do I Know I’m Not Really Gay/Straight?

Contents:

• AM I GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE GAY?
• WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE GAY?
• AM I GAY? QUIZ – 100% RELIABLE TT
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• HOW TO DISCREETLY FD OUT IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GAY
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• AT WHAT AGE DO KIDS INTIFY AS GAY?
• HOW TO TELL YOUR FRIEND YOU ARE GAY OR LBIAN AND LIKE THEM WHOUT THEM FREAKG OUT
• 7 PEOPLE SHARE THE MOMENT THEY REALIZED THEY WERE GAY
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN
• 17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)
• HOW GAY ARE YOU?

AM I GAY?

Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr. There are tim when nflictg feelgs e a person to ask, "Am I gay?" This is a natural qutn and one many people ask at different pots their liv.

The ratg sl aim to classify people not as "gay" or "straight" but rather dite that most people do not experience exclively gay or straight experienc. Most people, regardls as to their sexual inty, do experience both homosexual and heterosexual feelgs and/or behavrs at different tim their liv.2. It n be hard for some people to know whether or not they are gay, but 's important to remember that cidg you are gay is a personal cisn and not a clil one.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

Some people that have homosexual experienc ntue not to intify as gay while others that have never had a homosexual experience and rather, jt have homosexual feelgs, may ll themselv gay. "Wh time, someone who is gay will realize that not only are they sexually attracted to members of the same sex, but that this attractn is not transnal, or as often scribed 'jt a phase'.

WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE GAY?

However, the difficulti associated wh acceptg the feelgs and g out gay mean that many gay people don't intify themselv as gay until later on life.". When down to , there is no reliable "Am I Gay tt", so the only way to know that you are gay (fn of gay) is to look wh yourself to terme your own thoughts and feelgs towards others of the same sex.

I got some gay vios through the mail, and I read Brad Gooch’s Fdg the Boyiend Wh: A Practil Gui for Tappg to Your Own Source of Love, Happs, and Rpect. I don’t know which book I eventually read (I did a lot of readg on the subject of beg gay, and I have always been a nsummate rearcher.

Then he addrsed the class, stctg each to take out a piece of paper and a pen and wre down the moment when we all realized we were gay. I had already been asked a ln tim, "When did you know you were gay", but I was thrilled to have someone state the qutn aloud, the ntext of an amic exercise. If I was gay, I wonred if meant that I would be required to cut my hair to a buzzcut like the (first, ostensibly) lbian (I had ever nfirmed as such) my mother had poted out to me at the Ralph Lren outlet a middle-class untry town you might fd somewhere like Vermont; a untry town where you might fd lbians.

WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE GAY?

Taylor shar the story of a viral 3-year-old boy who plays wh dolls, lov drsg up as Elsa om Disney's Frozen, and clar that he is gay.

Of the llege stunts they surveyed, 26% of self-intified gay and bisexual llege stunts beme aware of their sexual preference llege, 48% high self-intified gay and bisexual men, 20% knew junr high school, and 17% knew gra school. Wh women, 6% knew junr high school, and 11% knew gra a 3-year-old don't fully unrstand what beg gay means (even the nt admted that he uld change his md  the future), a fay allowg their son to fearlsly be whoever he wants to be om such an early age uld be monumental his formative years.

AM I GAY? QUIZ – 100% RELIABLE TT

Even if some of the wilst adventur wh your girliend don’t exce you and the image of another man shirtls or a naked photo exc you to the re, then there are chanc that you might be gay.

Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay? " Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men.

Unfortunately, is timated that 50% of gay hbands hi their homosexualy om their wiv and don't reach this place of honty on their own. In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved. For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to.[1].

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women.

Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge. Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny.

The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together. Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you.[6].

HOW TO DISCREETLY FD OUT IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GAY

Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay?". Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

For stance, say somethg like, “Not that I md eher way, but I was jt wonrg whether you're gay?” For more tips, cludg how to show your iend that you’re okay wh gay people, read on! It very much appears that same-sex sexual attractn is not a choice but actg on is; so if you fe gay as the mere prence of same-sex attractn, then om everythg we unrstand, beg gay is not a choice.

AT WHAT AGE DO KIDS INTIFY AS GAY?

If, on the other hand, you nsir someone to be gay only if they act on their same-sex attractn then beg gay n be nsired a choice pendg on an dividual's behavr. Whether science n ultimately prove the blogy of beg gay or not, 's important to support all adults their choic no matter how they intify.

Instead of askg when we knew we were gay, you uld ask when we realized the te implitns of what beg gay meant and how much more needlsly difficult our liv were gog to be bee of emotnal weight of that realizatn is somethg most queer people have etched to the folds of our memory. Lured there by the fay t, I was dog my social studi homework on my parents’ my lored pencil scratched across the map of Egypt I was outlg, I sudnly jolted and thought oh my god, I’m gay. If your fay member has e out as gay or bisexual, accept that they will end up seeg someone of their own genr, and that's perfectly okay.

That beg said, some rearchers om the Sexualy Informatn and Edutn Council of the Uned Stat talked wh llege stunts who intify as gay and bisexual to learn when they were aware of their sexual preferenc. This data prov the vast majory of LGBTQ+ kids intify as gay before they leave for llege – or intify their sexual preferenc shortly after. “As long as I was the closet, all of my cisns — both nsc and subnsc — were guid by not wantg people to know I was gay, ” Felts told the Washgton Post.

HOW TO TELL YOUR FRIEND YOU ARE GAY OR LBIAN AND LIKE THEM WHOUT THEM FREAKG OUT

If you believe your boyiend lov and r for you but he "seems to be gay," keep md that he uld be bisexual, pansexual, or terted men. If he’s gay, he might thrive on other men’s attentn, equently touch or hug them, or exchange flirty ments wh them (pecially about their physil appearance).[6]. They thk, “If I act like I don’t like gay men, no one will thk I am one.” Notice if he acts unfortable around gay men, regularly mak homophobic ments or jok, or liberately never talks about anythg remotely gay.[10].

7 PEOPLE SHARE THE MOMENT THEY REALIZED THEY WERE GAY

An enunter his teen or llege years is more likely to mean he’s gay or queer than an experience later life, which uld have more plex explanatns.[16]. Don’t rely on gay stereotyp like an effemate voice or walk, flashy or tight clothg, his TV and mic preferenc, or beg a neat eak to terme your boyiend’s sexualy. However, the Tony and Emmy-nomated gay actor has also played Victor Strand on several seasons of "Fear the Walkg Dead, " and appeared films like "If Beale Street Could Talk, " "Selma, " and "Zola.

Gay actor Matt Bomer won a Goln Globe for playg a closeted journalist the TV film adaptatn of Larry Kramer's AIDS epimic-foced play "The Normal Heart. The actor explaed how he felt that "livg a gay life whout publicly acknowledgg is simply not enough to make any signifint ntributn to the immense work that li ahead on the road to plete equaly. It wasn't until she began watchg sci-fi TV seri "The X-Fil" that the first openly gay woman star of "SNL" Kate McKnon said she realized she was attracted to women.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY

Helpg to change that is former NBA player Jason Colls, who beme the first openly gay man to play one of the four major profsnal team sports. "When we get to the pot where a gay pro athlete is no longer forced to live fear that he'll be shunned by teammat or outed by tabloids … then g out won't be such a big al, " Colls wrote, but ultimately nced that we're "not there yet.

" In 2013, he nfirmed that he is gay, though he hadn't exactly been hidg his LGBTQ+ stat—or his more than 20-year relatnship wh Raer Andreen, for that matter. After g out at a Prop 8 rally 2008, the edian claimed she was subsequently treated like a "unirn, " that most gay or bisexual Ain Amerins don't openly share their LGBTQ+ stat.

" Carver has sce been vol about Hollywood's tenncy to perpetuate negative LGBTQ+ stereotyp, as well as pigeonholg openly gay actors to playg specific typ of rol. Carver performed on Broadway "The Boys the Band, " which tails the gay experience 20th-century Ameri before the Stonewall Rts occurred. Bt known for playg Obi-Wan Kenobi the origal "Star Wars" trilogy, Sir Alec Guns kept his sexual orientatn—and his arrt for a homosexual act 1946—away om the public eye for the entirety of his adult life.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

Actor Marlon Brando once told his bgrapher, "Like a large number of men, I, too, have had homosexual experienc and I am not ashamed. Long before directg movi like "Prec" or -creatg Fox's "Empire, " Lee Daniels was a young gay man g to terms wh his homosexualy while growg up Philalphia. Hopg to quash the ntroversy, Banks me out as bisexual that same year, addg that nearly all of her iends are gay and that one of her siblgs is transgenr.

That same month, he donated $1 ln to GLSEN (Gay, Lbian, and Straight Edutn Network), which works to create clive and safe environments schools. While his most notable role of the last few years put beg gay ont and center stage, actor Lee Pace was not always as forthg about his own sexualy.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

While he adms he was never outright srned for beg gay, there have been stanc where he felt was more of a hdrance than jt a fact that shouldn't matter. He told Variety that while watchg "Love, Simon, " a love story wh a gay protagonist, he realized, "Straight people go to the movi and lerally see themselv all the time. "When I fally told my iends and fay I was gay after beg sred the closet for 18 years, and all they said was 'we know, '" Schnapp wrote of his g-out story, addg, "I gus I'm more siar to will than I thought.

close01/8We asked 7 people when they realized they were gay and their rpons are absolutely ndidLren Morelli, the wrer of ‘Orange Is the New Black’ realized she was gay when she was wrg for the show, which was when she was happily married, had been livg liberal ci for many years, was ted and was 31 years old. As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this. So below I've provid a better list of ways to tell if your son is a gay person who is you e home om work and you hear nois upstairs and you go up to vtigate and your son's door is open and you tch him "hookg up" (as kids ll today) wh his iend Michael, and you quickly turn around and walk back downstairs and later that night over dner you say "You know, honey, if there's ever anythg you need to tell me... " and he says "Mom, I'm gay, " then your son is your son has recently gone to llege and hasn't been touch much and you figure hey he's new to llege, he's by makg iends and whatnot, and then late one night he lls you on the phone soundg upset about somethg and you ask him what's wrong and he's quiet for a while and then says "Nothg's wrong, really, I'm jt...

Dad, I'm gay, " then your son is your son ever been on a long drive to one of your dghter's swim meets wh you and when stopped at a red light he's turned to you and said "Mom, I feel like I owe to you and dad to tell you that, well, Donald is my boyiend. Chanc are that if you are on your athbed and your tranged son to vis you the middle of a ray night and he ss by your bed quietly until he begs to cry and clutch your hand and says "I wish I'd told you sooner that I'm gay" and then you both stay there silence, you pretendg to be asleep, the only noise the beepg of the mach that will only keep you alive for a ltle while longer, your son is you and your spoe are ever visg your son the big cy he now liv wh all his fancy iends and fancy rtrants and you're out to an awkward lunch before your tra home and you three get to another potls fight about years-old stuff and 's really unfortable and fally you or your spoe says "Well, if you'd jt settle down wh the right girl, I thk-" and then your son terpts you by yellg "Guys, I'm GAY.

" and then you lgh and ms his hair and the livg room your hband shows your son's boyiend his mol ships, then your son is probably gay, though he might be bisexual, so be reful about your son ever says "Oh my goodns, " when surprised or when openg a gift, well then yeah, he probably gay. This may seem obv, but people who aren’t attracted to the same sex, don’t ually worry about whether or not they are gay or bisexual. When your dreams are filled wh women or you dream of kissg or sleepg wh them, there’s a good chance you’re gay, lbian, or bisexual.

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

If your dreams or sexual fantasi are curly lackg men, or if you aren’t able to visualize men or pleasurable experienc when you daydream (even if you’re a relatnship wh one or have been wh one long-term), you may be attracted women, and you uld be gay.

You have many gay/queer/trans iends and feel more fortable wh them than straight iends and you’re a huge supporter of the LGBTQIA+ muny. You see gay people that are out and proud, exprsg queer joy wh their partner, and feels warm and bright and ronat somewhere ep and joyful wh you. For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to.

17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)

Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay? In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all.

” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight).

Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng. I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt.

HOW GAY ARE YOU?

Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg.

The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight). Makg a seri of three-mute tap that based on the wrgs gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day changg them when they no longer bother you).

Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight. Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are.