Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?"
Contents:
- HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
- HOW TO DISCREETLY FD OUT IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GAY
- 17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
- I’M PRETTY SURE MY IEND IS GAY. HOW DO I ASK HIM?
- HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
- IS MY FRIEND GAY, STRAIGHT OR BISEXUAL ABOUT ME? QUIZ FOR BOYS
- IS MY FRIEND GAY QUIZ
- HOW TO KNOW IF A GAY FRIEND LIK YOU (FOR MEN)
- HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
- IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
- HELP! MY ONLY FRIENDS ARE HOMOPHOBIC AND DON’T KNOW I’M GAY
- ASK O'LEARY: I'M STRAIGHT BUT ATTRACTED TO A MALE FRIEND!{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}CULTUREBY TIM O'LEARYJUNE 5, 2014/4:13 PMBY TIM O'LEARYJUNE 5, 2014 / 4:13 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"ASK O'LEARY: I'M STRAIGHT BUT ATTRACTED TO A MALE FRIEND!","DATEPUBLISHED":"2014-06-05T20:13:53.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2014-06-05T20:13:53.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"TIM O'LEARY","KEYWORDS":"THE BACKLOT","ARTICLESECTN":"CULTURE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DEAR TIM,{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I’M A 23-YEAR-OLD STRAIGHT GUY, BUT NOW SOMETHG HAPPENED THAT MAK ME NOT SURE I N STILL LL MYSELF THAT. I WENT ON A MPG TRIP WH FIVE OF MY GUY IENDS LAST WEEKEND BEE ONE OF THEM WAS GETTG MARRIED. WE FIGURED WOULD BE OUR LAST HURRAH AS A GROUP OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ONE OF MY IENDS (WE’LL LL HIM PETE) IS GAY, AND THAT’S NEVER EVEN BEEN AN ISSUE FOR ANY OF . SO WE WERE MPG BY A LAKE, AND CID TO GO SKNY-DIPPG AT NIGHT. WHAT I LEARNED WAS THAT PETE WAS THE MOST WELL-ENDOWED OF THE GROUP, AND I ULDN’T STOP STARG AT HIM. HE SEEMED TO NOTICE, AND I SAW THAT HE WAS STARTG TO GET HARD, SO HE JT STAYED THE WATER FOR THE RT OF THE TIME WE WERE SWIMMG (EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE ELSE WAS G AND OUT).{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOTHG HAPPENED AFTER THAT, BUT I N’T STOP THKG ABOUT HIS C@*K. I NEVER WANTED TO DO ANYTHG WH A GUY BEFORE, AND I N’T SEE MYSELF KISSG HIM OR HAVG SEX, BUT I’VE ACTUALLY FANTASIZED ABOUT GOG DOWN ON HIM. IS WEIRD TO JT WANT THAT AND ONLY THAT? AND DO THAT MEAN I’M BI? I’VE NEVER BEEN ATTRACTED TO A GUY AT ALL BEFORE, EVER. AND I THK ABOUT ALL THE GUYS I KNOW OR SEE ON TV AND FEEL NOTHG. THIS IS TOTALLY EAKG ME OUT. SO WHAT GIV?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WELL, IF YOU’RE CRAVG YOUR IEND’S DONG, T, I THK ’S SAFE TO SAY YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT 100% {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO IS THE NEXT STOP BI-TOWN?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOU’VE SPENT A LIFETIME LTG AFTER LADI AND LADY-BS, BUT ONLY GOT DISTRACTED BY ONE VERY SPECIAL AND UNIQUELY WELL-PROPORTNED FLH-PENDULUM. SURELY THAT N’T MEAN YOU’RE REALLY BI, RIGHT?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NO, TOTALLY DO-- AND THAT'S OKAY. HERE’S {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}UNLIKE GAY AND STRAIGHT, WHICH ARE RIGID AND BARY, BISEXUAL IS AN UMBRELLA TERM, SCRIBG EVERYTHG BETWEEN, UP TO AND CLUDG ONLY HAVG ONE STANCE OF SAME-SEX ATTRACTN. BUT PEOPLE GET SRED OFF BY THE LABEL BEE THERE’S STILL SUCH A STIGMA ATTACHED TO , BY BOTH THE GAY AND STRAIGHT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IF WE ULD GET RID OF THE HEAVY BURN THAT WH BI-CURSY, PEOPLE LIKE OUR BUDDY T HERE WOULDN’T NEED TO "TOTALLY EAK OUT" IF THEY HAVE A STRAY SAME-SEX ATTRACTN. BEE HERE’S THE THG: THE LE BETWEEN STRAIGHT AND BI (OR GAY AND BI) IS RAZOR TH. IT’S A ACTN OF A CENTIMETER. I’M NOT SAYG EVERY SGLE BRO-IT OF BROS IS SECRETLY HANKERG FOR THE KNOB. I’M JT SAYG IF HE DO ACCINTALLY FALL FACE-DOWN ON HIS BT BRO’S LAP, ’S NOT REALLY THAT BIG OF A AL, AND SHOULDN’T NECSATE A HUGE CRISIS OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO MY ADVICE TO YOU, T? TREAT YOUR SUDN TERT AS YOU WOULD ANY OTHER SUDN TERT: DULGE AND SEE WHAT YOU THK. I’M NOT SAYG HOOK UP WH YOUR MEAT-PACKG IEND, THOUGH. IF YOU’RE ALL AS CLOSE AS YOU SAY, THAT ULD BE THE E OF SOME SER PLITNS YOUR RELATNSHIP, BEE WHILE YOU MAY NOT SEE YOURSELF AS BEG ABLE TO LOVE ANOTHER MAN, HE AS A GAY MAN MOST LIKELY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOUR BUDDY ISN’T THE ONLY DU WH A BIG STICK OUT THERE. FD ANOTHER AND GO TO TOWN. YOU MIGHT LIKE , AND WANT TO DO AGA. OR YOU MIGHT FD S REALLY NOT FOR YOU. EHER WAY, WON'T FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGE ANYTHG ABOUT WHO YOU {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HEY TIM,{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WRG QUTN HERE. I JT GRADUATED OM LLEGE WH A GREE CREATIVE WRG AND FEEL KD OF LOST. I’VE WRTEN A FEW NOVELLAS THAT I DON’T FEEL ARE UP TO PAR WH BOOKS I’VE READ, BUT AREN’T TOO BAD. MY QUTN TO YOU IS: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN ’S TIME TO GIVE UP ON A PROJECT AND MOVE ON? SHOULD I JT LET THE OLD NOVELLAS GO AND WORK ON SOMETHG NEW, OR SHOULD I WORK ON WHAT I HAVE? I’M ALSO WORRIED THEY’RE A LTLE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOT QUE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HERE’S AN ANSWER THAT SHOULD TRATE YOU: DO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}FIRST OF ALL, YOU SHOULD PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK FOR FISHG ANYTHG, BEE THAT AND OF SELF N SEEM IMPOSSIBLE. BUT YOU DID ! YAY YOU!{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOW, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS WORK ON SOMETHG NEW TO KEEP YOUR JUIC FLOWG, BUT NEVER GIVE UP ON AN OLD PROJECT. I'LL GIVE YOU A TOTALLY DULGENT EXAMPLE. FOUR YEARS AGO, MY BUDDY JOSH BERRFORD (OF TV’S DANTE’S COVE) ASKED ME TO WRE A PILOT FOR HIM. SOMEHOW HE ME UP WH THE IA OF WEREWOLV ON A TROPIL ISLAND, AND BASILLY JT LEFT ME TO DO WHAT I DO, WHICH IS TRY TO WRE LIKE I'M DOG MY BT JOSS WHEDON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I ACTUALLY ME UP WH A SCRIPT I WAS PRETTY HAPPY WH, BUT OVER TIME LOST THE DRIVE TO KEEP PHG AT . MY BUDDY, ON THE OTHER HAND, KEPT AT AND YTERDAY THE SAG FOUNDATN HELD AN DTRY READG OF THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE POT, BEYOND TOTALLY BRAGGG? NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR PROJECTS, BEE YOU NEVER KNOW WHICH ON MIGHT BE THE BREAKOUTS. JT BE SURE TO ALWAYS BE WORKG ON SOMETHG NEW AT THE SAME TIME, TO KEEP YOUR JUIC FLOWG. AND REMEMBER, REVISN, REVISN, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HEY TIM,{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THIS IS BUGGG ME AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHO ELSE TO ASK. NOW THAT THEY MA MALEFICENT, WHO’S NEXT? URSULA THE SEA WCH? SR? WHY IS DISNEY G EVERYTHG WH GRTY REBOOTS?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DISNEY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I HAVEN’T ACTUALLY SEEN MALEFICENT YET - I’VE BEEN TOO BY SHAMELSLY PLUGGG MY OWN PROJECTS (SEE ABOVE) - BUT I DON’T SEE AS DISNEY G EVERYTHG. I SEE AS NEW WRERS EXPLORG IAS CREATED BY PAST WRERS AND SPNG TO SOMETHG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}OR, AS I LIKE TO LL - {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THOUGH SHE WASN’T THE FIRST TO DO , THE MAJOR AWARD FOR "RE-IMAGGS OM THE VILLA’S POT OF VIEW" WOULD HAVE TO GO TO MARN ZIMMER BRADLEY FOR HER EPIC SP ON ARTHURIAN LEGEND, THE MISTS OF AVALON, TOLD LARGELY THROUGH THE EY OR MAN LE FEY. AND THEN, TWELVE YEARS LATER, GREGORY MAGUIRE STCK GOLD WHEN HE DID THE SAME THG WH THE WIZARD OF OZ AND ME UP WH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANYWAY, MY POT IS THAT WRERS HAVE ALWAYS BEGGED, BORROWED, AND STOLEN - MOSTLY STOLEN - OM OTHER WRERS WHO HAVE E BEFORE THEM. IT’S HOW THE WHOLE NCEPT OF WRG BEGAN, IF YOU WANT TO GET SUPER-NERDY-AMIC ABOUT . STORI WERE FIRST TOLD THROUGH THE ORAL POETIC TRADN, PASSED DOWN BY WORD OF MOUTH, EACH TELLER ADDG THEIR OWN TWIST. AND AS WE N SEE WH MALEFICENT, THAT’S STILL HAPPENG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO HERE’S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO, DL. REMEMBER THAT 55 YEARS AGO, AT THE TIME WAS MA, SLEEPG BETY WASN’T A CLASSIC WH S OF INOGRAPHY EMBEDD TO . IT WAS JT A BRAND NEW MOVIE THAT HAD THE DACY TO REVENT AN AGE-OLD FAIRY TALE FOR A NEW {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}KDA LIKE MALEFICENT IS DOG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MORE OF THE LUMN FORMERLY KNOWN AS ASK JT! HERE. {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}TO ASK TIM A QUTN, EMAIL HIM AT (AND TRY TO KEEP TO THREE PARAGRAPHS OR LS). OR YOU N BE SUPER TECH-SEXY AND ASK VIA {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS
- I THK MY IEND IS GAY. HELP ME GAY-GAF!
- SCIENTISTS MAY HAVE FALLY UNLOCKED PUZZLE OF WHY PEOPLE ARE GAY
- IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
- WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND TELLS YOU HE'S {FONT-SIZE:20PX;LOR:#999;FONT-STYLE:ALIC;MARG:0PX;MARG-TOP:10PX;}THE EDUTN OF A STRAIGHT {GRID-ROW-START:2;GRID-LUMN-START:2;GRID-LUMN-END:3;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{GRID-LUMN-START:1;GRID-LUMN-END:2;}}{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;MARG-BOTTOM:5PX;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;} IMG{PADDG-RIGHT:7PX;}BY {LOR:#BA0600;}NATHAN S. {BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;}{DISPLAY:NONE;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;DISPLAY:BLOCK;PADDG-TOP:20PX;PADDG-BOTTOM:20PX;MARG-TOP:20PX;BORR-TOP:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-BOTTOM:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;}}{DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;WIDTH:TO;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;POSN:-WEBK-STICKY;POSN:STICKY;TOP:70PX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;POSN:UNSET;} {DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG:0PX;} > SPAN{WIDTH:35PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR-RADI:50%;} SVG{WIDTH:25PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EMAIL > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PRT > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_LK > SPAN{BACKGROUND-LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_UNTER .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EXPAND{WIDTH:35PX;HEIGHT:35PX;MARG:0PX;PADDG:0PX;BACKGROUND:NONE;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-RADI:50%;LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PACT{DISPLAY:NONE !IMPORTANT;} {MARG:0PX 5PX;}{POSN:RELATIVE;WIDTH:100%;} P{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;} OL{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;PADDG-LEFT:80PX;} P A, OL A, P A:VISED, OL A:VISED{LOR:#BA0600;-WEBK-TRANSN:0.3S ALL;TRANSN:0.3S ALL;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} P A:HOVER, OL A:HOVER{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} H1, H2, H3, H4, H5, H6{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;LOR:#7B1B18;}GAY PEOPLE ARE ENGAGED AN ONGOG STGGLE TO HAVE THEIR RIGHTS REGNIZED AND RPECTED. AS A STRAIGHT PERSON TALKG PRIMARILY TO OTHER STRAIGHTS. I HOPE TO SUPPORT ALL WHO ARE OPPRSED BEE OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN. THE FOC ON GAY MEN AS OPPOSED TO LBIANS IS ONLY A REFLECTN OF MY PERSONAL KNOWLEDGE.A YEAR AGO, NO ONE I KNEW WAS OPENLY GAY. MY NTACT WH HOMOSEXUALY UNTIL THEN WAS PROBABLY QUE STANDARD. WHEN I WAS SEVEN, MY MOTHER TALKED TO ME ABOUT PEOPLE LLED "FAIRI." SHE WARNED ME TO WATCH OUT FOR THEM, EXPLAG THAT THEIR EXISTENCE WAS A PY FOR THEM AND A NUISANCE FOR THE RT OF . FROM THEN ON, THE ISSUE WAS ABSENT OM NVERSATN AT HOME, EXCEPT WHEN SOMETHG ABOUT ANA BRYANT ME ON THE NEWS. WE ALL REGARD ANA AS SOMEWHAT OFF THE WALL, BUT NOT OUT OF ANY EPLY FELT VIEWS ON HOMOSEXUALY. AT SCHOOL, THE WORDS "GAY" AND "FAG" WERE ED ONLY AS SULTS TO STUNTS SO AWKWARD OR UNPOPULAR THAT THE TERM "WIMP" WOULD NOT DO. HOMOSEXUALY WAS SPOTLIGHTED ONLY ONCE: WHEN THE WOMEN'S STUDI CLASS VED A LBIAN TO SPEAK AND HALF THE PARENTS LLED UP TO PLA.THE FLUENC HELPED TO SHAPE MY VIEW OF HOMOSEXUALY. LIKE THE RT OF SOCIETY, I VIEWED THEM AS UNNATURAL AND DISGTG. I SAW HOMOSEXUALY AS RPTN OF "REAL" SEXUALY, AN UNFORTUNATE ELEMENT TO BE RTRICTED OR SUPRSED WHERE POSSIBLE. AND SPE THE STANDARD JOK, EP DOWN HOMOSEXUALY MA ME VERY UNFORTABLE.* * *ONE MORNG LAST SPRG, A POSTER ON MY DOOR SAID "DO YOU KNOW THAT SOMEONE YOU RE ABOUT IS GAY?" AS I WALKED TO BREAKFAST, I RAN MY MD OVER PEOPLE I RED ABOUT. CONCLUDG POSIVELY THAT NOT ONE WAS GAY. I DISMISSED THE SIGN AS PROPAGANDA FOR THE G GAY/LBIAN AWARENS DAY (GLAD).THAT NIGHT, ONE OF MY CLOST IENDS SAT ME DOWN TO TALK. THIS SELF WAS STRANGE, BEE WE UALLY TALKED QUE NATURALLY ON ANY SUBJECT. THE SUATN BEME MORE PECULIAR AS I WATCHED HIM. I HAD NEVER SEEN HIM SO NERVO. HE ULDN'T STICK TO ONE TOPIC OF NVERSATN. FALLY, AFTER A VERY LONG AND PAED TRODUCTN, HE TOLD ME HE WAS GAY. HE HAD KNOWN THIS THROUGHOUT OUR IENDSHIP.I DID MY BT TO SEEM LLECTED, BUT SI I WAS A MASS OF SHOCK AND NFN. I TRIED TO APPEAR OL AND THEN TOOK THE FIRST OPPORTUNY TO LEAVE I NEED TIME TO THK ABOUT THIS ALONE. AS I SAT ON A BENCH AND TRIED TO RELAX, I BEGAN TO THK HERENTLY: "THIS IS AN ENORMO THG; HOW ULD I NOT HAVE KNOWN ?" "WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME BEFORE?" "HOW MUCH DO THIS AFFECT HIS THOUGHTS AND ACTNS?" "HOW DO THIS MEAN HE SE ME?" "I FD HOMOSEXUALY REPULSIVE; HOW N A CLOSE IEND BE HOMOSEXUAL?" "I KNOW WHAT GAYS ARE LIKE: HOW N HE BE ONE?"MY IEND'S FACE SUDNLY ME TO FOC. I ULD STILL SEE HIM RIGHT ONT OF RACE. I ULD SEE HIM QUIVER AS HE BRACED FOR ME TO REACT. THERE WAS MY OWN IEND, WAG FOR ME TO REJECT HIM. REJECT... THIS MA ME THK OF OUR IENDSHIP. I REMEMBERED TIM WE HAD SPENT TOGETHER; TAST WE HAD SHARED, NEEDS WE HAD FILLED FOR EACH OTHER. AND HE HAD BEEN GAY ALL THE WHILE... BUT HADN'T THE TIM BEEN JT AS GOOD? IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE THEY HAD. AND ULDN'T THEY BE EQUALLY GOOD THE FUTURE? WHY NOT? THE ONLY DIFFERENCE NOW WAS THAT I KNEW SOMETHG THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN TE.MY THOUGHTS TURNED TO HIS POT OF VIEW. I GRIMACED, REMEMBERG TIM THAT HOMOSEXUALY HAD E UP NVERSATN. WHAT AN ACTOR HE HAD BEEN! HE HAD LGHED AT THE SAME JOK AND PROFSED THE SAME ATTUS AS I HAD. IN GROUPS OF GUYS HE HAD RATED THE GIRLS ALONG WH EVERYONE ELSE.I REALIZED HOW ALONE HE OFTEN MT FEEL. UNABLE TO BE HIS TE SELF, ED NDNED TO HATE THAT TE SELF, HE HAS TO AL NSTANTLY PRETENS. SUDNLY, I WANTED TO TALK TO {DISPLAY:BLOCK;MARG:0PX TO;WIDTH:100%;MAX-WIDTH:100%;BACKGROUND:TRANSPARENT;PADDG:10PX 0PX;} {FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;LOR:#333333;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;FONT-SIZE:0.7EM;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;DISPLAY:BLOCK;} {WIDTH:-WEBK-F-NTENT;WIDTH:-MOZ-F-NTENT;WIDTH:F-NTENT;MARG:0PX TO;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;}ADVERTISEMENTWHEN I WENT TO SEE HIM THAT NIGHT, I KNEW THE ISSUE WOULD AFFECT ME OM THEN ON. I HAD TAKEN A STRONG FIRST STEP BY WORKG THROUGH MOST OF MY FEELGS ABOUT HIS HOMOSEXUALY. YET I STILL FELT THREATENED MYSELF. SOMETHG NAGGED EP SI THAT IF I THOUGHT OR TALKED ABOUT TOO MUCH, THIS GAYNS MIGHT SPREAD TO ME TOO, OR SRIER, EXPOSE SOMETHG ALREADY THERE. BUT IF I WANTED TO KEEP MY IEND, HOWEVER NERVO I WAS. I HAD TO FACE SUCH POSSIBILI.I AM LUCKY THAT I DID. LEARNG ABOUT THIS ISSUE CHANGED AND ENRICHED ME WAYS THAT I ULD NOT HAVE IMAGED. MY IEND, LIGHTED NOT ONLY THAT WE WERE AS CLOSE AS BEFORE, BUT THAT I WAS TERTED UNRSTANDG HOMOSEXUALY BETTER, TRODUCED ME TO HIS GAY IENDS. WH THIS NEW AWARENS, I DISVERED THAT SEVERAL HIGH SCHOOL IENDS WERE ALSO GAY AND HAD KNOWN ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. THIS FLOOD OF NEW KNOWLEDGE STROYED MOST OF MY MISNCEPTNS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY. FEARS AND PREJUDIC, HOWEVER, TOOK LONGER; DISPELLG THEM REQUIR A URAGE AND EFFORT BEYOND SIMPLY ACQUIRG KNOWLEDGE. THIS WHOLE PROCS OF TN HAS LED ME TO THE FOLLOWG NCLNS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY.HOSTILY TO HOMOSEXUALY STEMS LARGELY OM SECURY AND IGNORANCE. LIKE ALL PREJUDICE, OURS AGAST GAYS IS NOT BASED ON RATNAL REASONG. I BELIEVE STEMS LARGELY OM SECURY, OM A EP FEAR THAT WE MAY BE OR BEE GAY OURSELV. FOR SOME, GREAT AFFECTN FOR A IEND OF THE SAME SEX MAY E THIS WORRY. FOR OTHERS, MAY BE LS NSC. BUT, SOCIAL ATTUS TOWARD HOMOSEXUALY MAGNIFY THIS WORRY TO A HORROR. SOME RPOND TO WH RISN OR HOSTILY TO GAYS, HOPG THIS WILL REAFFIRM THEIR HETEROSEXUALY. BUT MOST SIMPLY TRY TO CROWD ANY THOUGHT OF HOMOSEXUALY OUT OF THEIR HEADS. THAT CREAT ANOTHER SOURCE OF HOSTILY TO GAYS: IGNORANCE. SHUTTG HOMOSEXUALY OUT OF OUR WORLD FOSTERS THE SAME FEAR AND MISTST OF THE ALIEN THAT HAS ALWAYS LED PEOPLE TO HATE EACH OTHER. OUR PREJUDICE AGAST GAY PEOPLE WILL LGER AS LONG AS THEY ARE UNFAIAR. ONLY EE TERACTN WH THEM WILL SHOW THAT THEY ARE PEOPLE JT LIKE OURSELV.HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT NTAG. ASSOCIATG WH GAY PEOPLE WILL NOT MAKE YOU GAY; N ONLY BRG OUT HOMOSEXUAL TENNCI IF THEY ALREADY EXIST. FOR ME, LEARNG ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY STRENGTHENED RATHER THAN NFED MY SEXUAL INTY. BEE I UNRWENT SUCH AN TENSE EXAMATN OF THIS SUBJECT AND MY FEELGS ABOUT . I HAD LTLE DOUBT ONCE I HAD FISHED. HAD I BEEN GAY, SUCH HARD THKG WOULD ONLY HAVE HELPED ME UNRSTAND MYSELF. SO NTACT WH HOMOSEXUALY WILL NOT CHANGE OUR SEXUAL INTY, ONLY CLARIFY .HOMOSEXUALY IS A VALID FORM OF LOVE. WHAT STCK ME MOST LEARNG ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL RELATNSHIP IS THE AMAZG SIARY TO STRAIGHT ON THE FEELGS AND EMOTNS THEY VOLVE. WHOUT THE NAM AND PRONOUNS, A SCRIPTN OF A GAY AFFAIR IS LERALLY DISTGUISHABLE OM THAT OF A STRAIGHT ONE. ADVICE I MIGHT GIVE TO A GAY MAN ABOUT A ROMANCE IS EQUALLY APPLIBLE TO A STRAIGHT WOMAN. SEEG HOW NATURAL AND BETIFUL A GAY RELATNSHIP N BE HAS NVCED ME THAT IS NOT ANY WAY A PERVERSN, RPTN OR MISE OF SEXUALY. IT IS SIMPLY AN ALTERNATIVE. THERE IS A PACY TO LOVE ALL PEOPLE, AND A STANDARD LIMG SEXUAL NTACT TO OPPOSE SEX IS AT BT ARTIFICIAL, AT WORST VERY CEL TO THOSE WHO ARE NOT PART OF THE NORM THAT CREATED . ESPECIALLY THE PRSURED AND SOMETIM LONELY ATMOSPHERE OF LLEGE, ANY KD OF REAL AFFECTN IS VALUABLE. WE SHOULD RE MORE THAT EXISTS THAN BETWEEN WHOM.CRICS OF HOMOSEXUALY ADM MAY BE AS PERSONALLY FULFILLG AS HETEROSEXUALY. BUT THEY CLAIM IS SOCIALLY UNSIRABLE BEE THE GAY LIFTYLE PRECLUS THE JOY OF THE FAY AND UNRM A SOCIAL STCTURE BASED ON THE FAY UN. HOMOSEXUALY SHOULD TH BE DISURAGED LT ENTICE ANY HONT HETEROSEXUALS. THERE ARE TWO PROBLEMS WH THIS ARGUMENT. FIRST, IF FAY LIFE REALLY IS PREFERABLE, MOST PEOPLE WILL CHOOSE . OPPRSG SOMEONE TO AN UNWANTED LIFTYLE BEE HE WILL ENJOY MORE IS ILLOGIL. SEND, MANY OF TODAY'S HETEROSEXUAL UPL CI NOT TO HAVE FAI. ALTHOUGH THEY ARE AS GUILTY AS GAYS OF THREATENG THE FAY LIFTYLE, WE DO NOT PERSECUTE THEM.HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT A PHASE. MANY HETEROSEXUALS BELIEVE THAT GAY PEOPLE CHOOSE THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR ARE SIMPLY "GOG THROUGH A PHASE." THIS IS OFTEN ED TO JTIFY DISCRIMATN, HOPG WILL "BRG THEM AROUND" TO HETEROSEXUALY. IT WON'T. ALL THE GAY PEOPLE I HAVE QUTNED ON THIS KNEW THEY WERE GAY AT QUE A YOUNG AGE AND EXPECT ALWAYS TO REMA SO. THOUGH NONE N SAY IS BLOGILLY TERMED, THEY ALL REGARD THEIR HOMOSEXUALY AS MUCH MORE THAN A STATE OF MD. IT IS AN SENTIAL PART OF THEM. CLEARLY, PERSECUTG THEM WILL NOT DUCE THEM TO CHANGE, ONLY E THEM TO SUFFER.GAY PEOPLE DO NOT PLACE UNDO EMPHASIS ON SEX. HOMOSEXUALS ARE DIFFERENTIATED AS A GROUP BY THEIR SEXUAL HABS. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS FOSTERS THE IMPRSN THAT THEY ARE OVERSEXED OR SEXUALLY PERVERTED, SADO-MASOCHISTS, OR CHILD MOLTERS.THIS NOTN IS AS UNFOUND AS IS HARMFUL. GAY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FOUND STATISTILLY LS LIKELY TO MOLT CHILDREN THAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE, AND NO MORE VLENT OR UNBALANCED THAN ANYONE ELSE. NOR IS SEX THE FOC OF MOST GAYS' LIV. FOR THE ON I KNOW, HAS S PLACE AMONG AMICS, EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVI AND IENDSHIPS. ONCE WE INTIFY PEOPLE BY THEIR PERSONALI AND TERTS STEAD OF THEIR PRIVATE LIV, WE WILL PUT THIS ISSUE PROPER PERSPECTIVE.THE GAY STEREOTYPE IS DAMAGG. THE GREATT SHOCK TO MY NAIVETE ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY WAS FDG OUT HOW MON IS. STUDI TO TERME EXACTLY HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE GAY NSISTENTLY SETTLE AROUND 10 PER CENT OF THE POPULATN. THIS MEANS THERE ARE 20 TO 25 LN GAY AMERINS. THE 10-PER-CENT FIGURE AT FIRST SEEMED TO ME IMPOSSIBLE BEE SO FEW PEOPLE. I KNEW F THE IMAGE I HAD OF A GAY PERSON. I HAVE SCE REALIZED THAT THE VAST MAJORY OF GAY PEOPLE DO NOT F THIS IMAGE. THE ARE THE GAYS WE DO NOT PERCEIVE. THEY E OM ALL SECTORS OF SOCIETY AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHG MON SEXUAL PREFERENCE. ONLY A SMALL PERCENTAGE FEEL FORTABLE ENOUGH TO BE OPEN ABOUT THEIR HOMOSEXUALY. IT IS SENTIAL TO REALIZE HOW LARGE AND VAR A GROUP THE PEOPLE ARE, AND HOW MANY OF OUR IENDS ARE AMONG THEM. OTHERWISE WE WILL NOT UNRSTAND WHOM OUR PREJUDICE STRIK.ADVERTISEMENTTHE RELIG ARGUMENT AGAST HOMOSEXUALY IS HYPOCRIL. AMONG THE THOANDS OF L AND LAWS THE OLD TTAMENT IS FOUND, "THOU SHALT NOT LIE WH MANKD, AS WH WOMANKD: IS ABOMATN." (LEVIC 18:22). FOR SOME, THIS STATEMENT IS SUFFICIENT TO VOKE THE MORAL THORY OF GOD AGAST HOMOSEXUALY BUT THIS IS CLEARLY A SE OF SELECTIVE E OF HIS WORD. THE SAME BOOK OF THE BIBLE ALSO TEACH MEN NOT TO HARVT THE RNERS OF THEIR FIELDS AND NOT TO TOUCH A WOMAN FOR EIGHT DAYS AFTER SHE MENSTAT. YET WE NSIR THE LAWS "OUTDATED" AND IGNORE THEM--FOR GOOD REASON. RUL AGAST HOMOSEXUALY AND MASTURBATN ALSO PLAYED AN IMPORTANT ROLE PRERVG THE SPECI. BUT NOW THAT WE HAVE THE OPPOSE POPULATN PROBLEM, THE L SHOULD BE NSIRED AS OBSOLETE AS THE OTHERS.THE ISSUE OF BIRTH NTROL IS STCTIVE HERE. ITS PRACTICE IS ALSO FORBIDN BY A LERAL TERPRETATN OF THE BIBLE, YET WE DO NOT PERSECUTE THOSE WHO E . IN FACT, MANY ERS ARE THE SAME ON WHO NMN HOMOSEXUALY AS UNGODLY. THIS SELECTIVE PIETY IS THE BAST HYPOCRISY.GAYS ARE OPPRSED. THE EARLY LIFE OF EVERY GAY IS FILLED WH TNTS OF "FAG" AND "QUEER." THE TEACH HIM TO HATE WHAT HE IS. THEY MAKE ADMISSN OF HIS HOMOSEXUALY TO HIMSELF A CSHG BLOW. THE GAY WH ENOUGH URAGE TO STEP OUT OF HIS CLOSET IS ALSO OPPRSED. HE IS OSTRACIZED BY MANY OF HIS IENDS, OFTEN PLETELY REJECTED BY HIS IENDS, OFTEN PLETELY REJECTED BY HIS FAY, REGARD AS MISGUID OR MENTED BY THE RT OF SOCIETY, HARASSED, RIDICULED, AND SOMETIM EVEN PHYSILLY ATTACKED. EVEN IF A GAY IS ACCEPTED BY HIS FAY AND IENDS, HE STILL FAC VASTATG SOCIAL DISCRIMATN. HE N LEGALLY BE EXCLUD OM ANY KD OF EMPLOYMENT, PUBLIC OR PRIVATE, BARRED BY LABOR UNNS, NIED HOG, MORTGAGE, CRED SURANCE, EVEN PUBLIC ACODATNS. IN ALL 50 STAT HE IS EMED UNF TO TEACH SCHOOL. IN EACH SE, HE IS JUDGED AS A WORKER, TENANT OR CTOMER NOT BY HIS CRENTIALS FOR SUCH ACTIVI, BUT BY HOW HE NDUCTS HIS PRIVATE LIFE.THE SUATN AT HARVARD IS NO BETTER. THE MOTN PASSED CHUL THIS WEEK REMENDG AN OFFICIAL NON-DISCRIMATN CLSE UNIVERSY POLICY IS AN IMPORTANT STEP FORWARD. BUT WE STILL HAVE FAR TO GO. THE EPISO THIS FALL WHICH THE GAY STUNTS ASSOCIATN WAS NIED ACCS TO STUNT REGISTRATN PACKETS DRAMATIZED THE REALY OF STUTNAL DISCRIMATN.THE ADMISTRATN IS NOT THE ONLY PROBLEM. STUNTS CTOMARILY FACE AND RIP DOWN POSTERS FOR GAY AND LBIAN EVENTS. LAST SPRG THEY HURLED TNTS, SULTS AND EVEN FOOD AT OTHER STUNTS ANNOUNCG GLAD DAY THE DG HALLS. ONE STUNT WAS EVEN ATTACKED--FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN HIS HOMOSEXUALY--WHILE CLEANG UP AFTER A GAY/LBIAN DANCE LAST APRIL. IN A MUNY AS TED AS OURS IS, THIS KD OF ABE IS HARD TO UNRSTAND. FOR A LEADG UNIVERSY THE UNED STAT AND THE WORLD, IS UNACCEPTABLE. IT IS TIME FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE TO REALIZE THAT WE MT CHANGE. IT IS WE WHO E THE SUFFERG OF GAY PEOPLE. OUR ATTUS E GUILT, SHAME, AND LONELS, AND OUR ACTNS E FEAR AND ALIENATN. AS THE MAJORY, WE N CHANGE THE SUATN. PUBLICLY, WE MT SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS. PRIVATELY, WE MT REALIZE THAT WE KNOW GAY PEOPLE. REVISG OUR ATTUS, EVEN SUCH SMALL WAYS AS HOW WE REFER TO GAYS, WILL MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELV AND ABOUT . AS SUCH CHANGE OCCURS, NOT ONLY WILL THE GAY PEOPLE OUR MIDST BEE UNBURNED, BUT THE RT OF WILL EELY ENJOY THE ENERGY AND TALENTS OF A TREMENDO GROUP OF PEOPLE.NATHAN S. SZANTON '83 LIV SOUTH {FONT-SIZE:16.5PX;LE-HEIGHT:26PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;MARG:1EM TO;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;}WANT TO KEEP UP WH BREAKG NEWS? 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- GAF HELP, I THK MY IEND IS GAY...
- CAN A STRAIGHT GUY ETHILLY ACCEPT ORAL SEX OM HIS GAY BUDDY?
- IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your iend is gay. There are some important thgs that you have to unrstand about this suatn before gog forward, however. Someone's sexualy is highly plex and highly... * i think one of my friends is gay *
For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to. If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.
Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny. The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together.
Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay? After all, most heterosexual guys have no tert watchg any porn unls there’s a woman your boyiend is tryg to hi his sexualy om you, ’s doubtful that he’ll openly watch gay porn while you’re around.
HOW TO DISCREETLY FD OUT IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS GAY
Someone's sexualy is personal, so 's important to rpect their privacy. However, you might want to know if a person is gay bee you're terted datg them or want to support them as a iend. Beg open wh them n be... * i think one of my friends is gay *
The only way you’ll know is to look at his search history, which is a pretty big vasn of his do he react if you offer to watch gay porn wh him? It’s a way of flectg spicn off of themselv and makg seem like they uld never be terted other to the way your boyiend talks about homosexualy.
So if your boyiend has a lot of gay iends, uld be bee he’s subnscly tryg to surround himself wh people like urse, plenty of straight guys have gay iends as well.
He has a gay datg app on his phoneEven if he hasn’t actually ed the app to hook up wh guys, he’s obvly cur and may be thkg about dog so the future.
17 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND IS SECRETLY GAY (& WHAT TO DO)
If you're readg this, there's a good chance you thk your boyiend might be gay. No doubt you're also feelg pretty nfed and wonrg how to al wh the suatn. It's a very sensive suatn to al wh, and you need to make sure you rpect his feelgs. But at the same time, you n't * i think one of my friends is gay *
Keep md that havg a datg app on his phone don’t mean he’s cheatg on you, but you serve to know if he’s actively lookg for other signs your boyiend is gayIt’s jt as important to unrstand all the signals that uld mistakenly lead you to believe your boyiend is gay. It’s possible he’s been wantg to have this nversatn wh you but hasn’t had the urage to brg though you may have seen many of the behavrs on this list, don’t throw them his face as a list of ‘evince’ that he’s secretly gay. It’s really no different om a heterosexual guy havg a preference for blons over big mistake you need to avoid is thkg that he’s still nfed or explorg his sexualy and will eventually e out as beg gay.
To be pletely hont, i'm que embarrassed at the fact that everyone thks that he is gay aNd i feel terrible for feelg that way bee i love him sooooo much! I wish i didnt re about what other people thought of him but i do, and i feel like that shows what kd of person i am if people thk my bf is gay if that mak any sense.
To start, let me clarify that I don’t have anythg agast anyone who is gay, fact, my s gay, and that has never changed the way I’ve seen her. Jt a uple days ago I told my iends about Gary, and as I told I jokgly said “yeah I asked for this du Gary’s snap at a cross untry meet one time, no homo tho”. Now I realize that ’s normal for dus to be weird out by that stuff when they first start to see girls as more than jt iends, but at the time I thought “Well, if straight guys like to jack to girls, and I don’t like the ia of jackg to them, then, the most obv ncln is that, I am a homosexual person”.
I’M PRETTY SURE MY IEND IS GAY. HOW DO I ASK HIM?
There’s a group of who hang out, and we are pretty sure that one of our iends is gay. We don’t re, we jt wish he wouldn’t hi if that’s the se. Should we ask him outright? * i think one of my friends is gay *
Addnally, I was a pretty chubby guy 7th gra and very self nsc, and when I’d look at myself the mirror and then look at a guy who was mcley and toned and jt better lookg objectively, I would thk to myself “man I’d like to have that body”, and then those thoughts turned to “bro your gay bee you like the way the dus and their bodi look”. I snapped out of that mdset pretty quickly bee I realized how stupid I was thkg, but I brought up to my iends a uple days ago and they never let me expla myself, and so now they jt thk I’m gay. So, my iends know all this about how I’m bad at talkg to girls, so they may see as I’m bad at talkg to girls bee I’m simply jt not to them, and that I’m to dus stead, and that I’m gay.
HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
Wonrg if a iend is gay, straight, or bisexual? Worried/hopg they might 'like' you? Take this tt & fd out before a misunrstandg hurts your iendship. * i think one of my friends is gay *
I’m very distrght bee the ia of word gettg around school (and pecially to the girls) that I’m gay or the ia of my buddi thkg Im a du that lik dus mak me crge.
But to actually be lockg ey wh Ellen and hold her, shakg hands as she said, "I'm gay, " on natnal televisn and for the first time, as she has shared outloud that way publicly, was such a profoundly extraordary and timate gift to that moment that I will forever be grateful for. " If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet? Article SummaryXIt might e as a b of a shock to fd out your bt iend is gay, but by supportg them and givg yourself time to get ed to , your iendship n be jt like was.
IS MY FRIEND GAY, STRAIGHT OR BISEXUAL ABOUT ME? QUIZ FOR BOYS
Are you unsure about your iend's sexualy? Then, take this "Is my iend gay quiz?" and we will reveal s answer to you. This is a quiz that c... * i think one of my friends is gay *
This ltle quiz I created is meant to tell you if one of your iends is gay, straight, or bisexual - and more importantly, if they like you like that or not. Thank you for makg this quiz really helped me figure out my iend was gay, After I did the tt shown he was gay and I asked him out he said y. That means, for example, that you n be transgenr but also straight (for stance, you might intify as a woman and feel attracted to men) or gay (e.
If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed. In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay.
IS MY FRIEND GAY QUIZ
* i think one of my friends is gay *
Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.
When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them. A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way.
HOW TO KNOW IF A GAY FRIEND LIK YOU (FOR MEN)
So lately I got the feelg that one of my olst school iends might be gay. I got the imprsn om fleetg ments and stuff. He never me out to... * i think one of my friends is gay *
So this is a way of bondg wh men—ironilly, through sex—and happens not bee the man is gay but bee he don’t know any other way to get this need met. Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh.
HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
Theory: Lbians get om their fathers, gay men om their mothers. * i think one of my friends is gay *
And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy. Assumg that you haven’t been dwellg unr a homophobic rock for the past 20 years, you’ll know thatgay, bisexual, transgenr and other non- heterosexual people are beg creasgly fortable about owng their inti and “g out” legimacy of sexual orientatns (note: not “preferenc”) is a sealed chapter.
IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
Is my hband gay? is an unthkable qutn to many wiv, and some hbands do turn out to be gay. Learn the signs of a gay hband. * i think one of my friends is gay *
Therefore, a person don’t jt ci to be is important that you not e the word “ci”, as impli that you are accg your iend of optg to be gay, makg them feel like they are at flt for the societal opprsn they enunter. ”Pop star Calum Stt talked to about beg an advote for LGBTQ youth, and how he unwds4 “How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never kissed a (member of the oppose genr)? I haven't told them bee I know where they stand on gay people; they thk gay marriage is an abomatn, and they thk beg gay is a choice as opposed to somethg you're born as.
Here’s gay and straight, which are rigid and bary, bisexual is an umbrella term, scribg everythg between, up to and cludg only havg one stance of same-sex attractn. But people get sred off by the label bee there’s still such a stigma attached to , by both the gay and straight we uld get rid of the heavy burn that wh bi-cursy, people like our buddy T here wouldn’t need to "totally eak out" if they have a stray same-sex attractn. If you’re all as close as you say, that uld be the e of some ser plitns your relatnship, bee while you may not see yourself as beg able to love another man, he as a gay man most likely buddy isn’t the only du wh a big stick out there.
HELP! MY ONLY FRIENDS ARE HOMOPHOBIC AND DON’T KNOW I’M GAY
If was me and I felt I wanted eper iendship wh said person I would repeatedly throw out nocuo ltle statements over time, about the importance of beg te to yourself and beg ol wh gay people jt to open that wdow ense was need.
A group of scientists suggted Tuday that homosexuals get that tra om their oppose-sex parents: A lbian will almost always get the tra om her father, while a gay man will get the tra om his heredary lk of homosexualy has long been tablished, but scientists knew was not a strictly geic lk, bee there are many pairs of intil tws who have differg sexuali.
Scientists om the Natnal Instute for Mathematil and Blogil Synthis say homosexualy seems to have an epigeic, not a geic thought to have some sort of heredary lk, a group of scientists suggted Tuday that homosexualy is lked to epi-marks — extra layers of rmatn that ntrol how certa gen are exprsed. In homosexuals, the epi-marks aren't erased — they're passed om father-to-dghter or mother-to-son, explas William Rice, an evolutnary blogist at the Universy of California Santa Barbara and lead thor of the study. "There is pellg evince that epi-marks ntribute to both the siary and dissiary of fay members, and n therefore feasibly ntribute to the observed faial herance of homosexualy and s low nrdance between [intil] tws, " Rice and his team created a mathematil mol that explas why homosexualy is passed through epi-marks, not geics.
ASK O'LEARY: I'M STRAIGHT BUT ATTRACTED TO A MALE FRIEND!{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}CULTUREBY TIM O'LEARYJUNE 5, 2014/4:13 PMBY TIM O'LEARYJUNE 5, 2014 / 4:13 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"ASK O'LEARY: I'M STRAIGHT BUT ATTRACTED TO A MALE FRIEND!","DATEPUBLISHED":"2014-06-05T20:13:53.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2014-06-05T20:13:53.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"TIM O'LEARY","KEYWORDS":"THE BACKLOT","ARTICLESECTN":"CULTURE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DEAR TIM,{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I’M A 23-YEAR-OLD STRAIGHT GUY, BUT NOW SOMETHG HAPPENED THAT MAK ME NOT SURE I N STILL LL MYSELF THAT. I WENT ON A MPG TRIP WH FIVE OF MY GUY IENDS LAST WEEKEND BEE ONE OF THEM WAS GETTG MARRIED. WE FIGURED WOULD BE OUR LAST HURRAH AS A GROUP OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ONE OF MY IENDS (WE’LL LL HIM PETE) IS GAY, AND THAT’S NEVER EVEN BEEN AN ISSUE FOR ANY OF . SO WE WERE MPG BY A LAKE, AND CID TO GO SKNY-DIPPG AT NIGHT. WHAT I LEARNED WAS THAT PETE WAS THE MOST WELL-ENDOWED OF THE GROUP, AND I ULDN’T STOP STARG AT HIM. HE SEEMED TO NOTICE, AND I SAW THAT HE WAS STARTG TO GET HARD, SO HE JT STAYED THE WATER FOR THE RT OF THE TIME WE WERE SWIMMG (EVEN THOUGH EVERYONE ELSE WAS G AND OUT).{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOTHG HAPPENED AFTER THAT, BUT I N’T STOP THKG ABOUT HIS C@*K. I NEVER WANTED TO DO ANYTHG WH A GUY BEFORE, AND I N’T SEE MYSELF KISSG HIM OR HAVG SEX, BUT I’VE ACTUALLY FANTASIZED ABOUT GOG DOWN ON HIM. IS WEIRD TO JT WANT THAT AND ONLY THAT? AND DO THAT MEAN I’M BI? I’VE NEVER BEEN ATTRACTED TO A GUY AT ALL BEFORE, EVER. AND I THK ABOUT ALL THE GUYS I KNOW OR SEE ON TV AND FEEL NOTHG. THIS IS TOTALLY EAKG ME OUT. SO WHAT GIV?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WELL, IF YOU’RE CRAVG YOUR IEND’S DONG, T, I THK ’S SAFE TO SAY YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT 100% {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO IS THE NEXT STOP BI-TOWN?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOU’VE SPENT A LIFETIME LTG AFTER LADI AND LADY-BS, BUT ONLY GOT DISTRACTED BY ONE VERY SPECIAL AND UNIQUELY WELL-PROPORTNED FLH-PENDULUM. SURELY THAT N’T MEAN YOU’RE REALLY BI, RIGHT?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NO, TOTALLY DO-- AND THAT'S OKAY. HERE’S {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}UNLIKE GAY AND STRAIGHT, WHICH ARE RIGID AND BARY, BISEXUAL IS AN UMBRELLA TERM, SCRIBG EVERYTHG BETWEEN, UP TO AND CLUDG ONLY HAVG ONE STANCE OF SAME-SEX ATTRACTN. BUT PEOPLE GET SRED OFF BY THE LABEL BEE THERE’S STILL SUCH A STIGMA ATTACHED TO , BY BOTH THE GAY AND STRAIGHT {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IF WE ULD GET RID OF THE HEAVY BURN THAT WH BI-CURSY, PEOPLE LIKE OUR BUDDY T HERE WOULDN’T NEED TO "TOTALLY EAK OUT" IF THEY HAVE A STRAY SAME-SEX ATTRACTN. BEE HERE’S THE THG: THE LE BETWEEN STRAIGHT AND BI (OR GAY AND BI) IS RAZOR TH. IT’S A ACTN OF A CENTIMETER. I’M NOT SAYG EVERY SGLE BRO-IT OF BROS IS SECRETLY HANKERG FOR THE KNOB. I’M JT SAYG IF HE DO ACCINTALLY FALL FACE-DOWN ON HIS BT BRO’S LAP, ’S NOT REALLY THAT BIG OF A AL, AND SHOULDN’T NECSATE A HUGE CRISIS OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO MY ADVICE TO YOU, T? TREAT YOUR SUDN TERT AS YOU WOULD ANY OTHER SUDN TERT: DULGE AND SEE WHAT YOU THK. I’M NOT SAYG HOOK UP WH YOUR MEAT-PACKG IEND, THOUGH. IF YOU’RE ALL AS CLOSE AS YOU SAY, THAT ULD BE THE E OF SOME SER PLITNS YOUR RELATNSHIP, BEE WHILE YOU MAY NOT SEE YOURSELF AS BEG ABLE TO LOVE ANOTHER MAN, HE AS A GAY MAN MOST LIKELY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}YOUR BUDDY ISN’T THE ONLY DU WH A BIG STICK OUT THERE. FD ANOTHER AND GO TO TOWN. YOU MIGHT LIKE , AND WANT TO DO AGA. OR YOU MIGHT FD S REALLY NOT FOR YOU. EHER WAY, WON'T FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGE ANYTHG ABOUT WHO YOU {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HEY TIM,{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WRG QUTN HERE. I JT GRADUATED OM LLEGE WH A GREE CREATIVE WRG AND FEEL KD OF LOST. I’VE WRTEN A FEW NOVELLAS THAT I DON’T FEEL ARE UP TO PAR WH BOOKS I’VE READ, BUT AREN’T TOO BAD. MY QUTN TO YOU IS: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN ’S TIME TO GIVE UP ON A PROJECT AND MOVE ON? SHOULD I JT LET THE OLD NOVELLAS GO AND WORK ON SOMETHG NEW, OR SHOULD I WORK ON WHAT I HAVE? I’M ALSO WORRIED THEY’RE A LTLE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOT QUE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HERE’S AN ANSWER THAT SHOULD TRATE YOU: DO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}FIRST OF ALL, YOU SHOULD PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK FOR FISHG ANYTHG, BEE THAT AND OF SELF N SEEM IMPOSSIBLE. BUT YOU DID ! YAY YOU!{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}NOW, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS WORK ON SOMETHG NEW TO KEEP YOUR JUIC FLOWG, BUT NEVER GIVE UP ON AN OLD PROJECT. I'LL GIVE YOU A TOTALLY DULGENT EXAMPLE. FOUR YEARS AGO, MY BUDDY JOSH BERRFORD (OF TV’S DANTE’S COVE) ASKED ME TO WRE A PILOT FOR HIM. SOMEHOW HE ME UP WH THE IA OF WEREWOLV ON A TROPIL ISLAND, AND BASILLY JT LEFT ME TO DO WHAT I DO, WHICH IS TRY TO WRE LIKE I'M DOG MY BT JOSS WHEDON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I ACTUALLY ME UP WH A SCRIPT I WAS PRETTY HAPPY WH, BUT OVER TIME LOST THE DRIVE TO KEEP PHG AT . MY BUDDY, ON THE OTHER HAND, KEPT AT AND YTERDAY THE SAG FOUNDATN HELD AN DTRY READG OF THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE POT, BEYOND TOTALLY BRAGGG? NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR PROJECTS, BEE YOU NEVER KNOW WHICH ON MIGHT BE THE BREAKOUTS. JT BE SURE TO ALWAYS BE WORKG ON SOMETHG NEW AT THE SAME TIME, TO KEEP YOUR JUIC FLOWG. AND REMEMBER, REVISN, REVISN, {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}HEY TIM,{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THIS IS BUGGG ME AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHO ELSE TO ASK. NOW THAT THEY MA MALEFICENT, WHO’S NEXT? URSULA THE SEA WCH? SR? WHY IS DISNEY G EVERYTHG WH GRTY REBOOTS?{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DISNEY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I HAVEN’T ACTUALLY SEEN MALEFICENT YET - I’VE BEEN TOO BY SHAMELSLY PLUGGG MY OWN PROJECTS (SEE ABOVE) - BUT I DON’T SEE AS DISNEY G EVERYTHG. I SEE AS NEW WRERS EXPLORG IAS CREATED BY PAST WRERS AND SPNG TO SOMETHG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}OR, AS I LIKE TO LL - {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THOUGH SHE WASN’T THE FIRST TO DO , THE MAJOR AWARD FOR "RE-IMAGGS OM THE VILLA’S POT OF VIEW" WOULD HAVE TO GO TO MARN ZIMMER BRADLEY FOR HER EPIC SP ON ARTHURIAN LEGEND, THE MISTS OF AVALON, TOLD LARGELY THROUGH THE EY OR MAN LE FEY. AND THEN, TWELVE YEARS LATER, GREGORY MAGUIRE STCK GOLD WHEN HE DID THE SAME THG WH THE WIZARD OF OZ AND ME UP WH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANYWAY, MY POT IS THAT WRERS HAVE ALWAYS BEGGED, BORROWED, AND STOLEN - MOSTLY STOLEN - OM OTHER WRERS WHO HAVE E BEFORE THEM. IT’S HOW THE WHOLE NCEPT OF WRG BEGAN, IF YOU WANT TO GET SUPER-NERDY-AMIC ABOUT . STORI WERE FIRST TOLD THROUGH THE ORAL POETIC TRADN, PASSED DOWN BY WORD OF MOUTH, EACH TELLER ADDG THEIR OWN TWIST. AND AS WE N SEE WH MALEFICENT, THAT’S STILL HAPPENG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SO HERE’S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO, DL. REMEMBER THAT 55 YEARS AGO, AT THE TIME WAS MA, SLEEPG BETY WASN’T A CLASSIC WH S OF INOGRAPHY EMBEDD TO . IT WAS JT A BRAND NEW MOVIE THAT HAD THE DACY TO REVENT AN AGE-OLD FAIRY TALE FOR A NEW {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}KDA LIKE MALEFICENT IS DOG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MORE OF THE LUMN FORMERLY KNOWN AS ASK JT! HERE. {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}TO ASK TIM A QUTN, EMAIL HIM AT (AND TRY TO KEEP TO THREE PARAGRAPHS OR LS). OR YOU N BE SUPER TECH-SEXY AND ASK VIA {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}THE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS
Evolutnarily speakg, if homosexualy was solely a geic tra, scientists would expect the tra to eventually disappear bee homosexuals wouldn't be expected to reproduce.
But bee the epi-marks provi an evolutnary advantage for the parents of homosexuals: They protect fathers of homosexuals om unrexposure to ttosterone and mothers of homosexuals om overexposure to ttosterone while they are gtatn. "The epi-marks protect fathers and mothers om excs or unrexposure to ttosterone — when they rry over to oppose-sex offsprg, n e the masculizatn of femal or the femizatn of mal, " Rice says, which n lead to a child beg gay. Rice not that the markers are "highly variable" and that only strong epi-marks will rult a homosexual scientists have long spected some sort of geic lk, Rice says studi attemptg to expla why people are gay have been few and far between.
" Homosexual behavr has been observed black swans, pengus, sheep, and other animals, he 's mol still needs to be tted on real-life parent-offsprg pairs, but he says this epigeic lk mak more sense than any other explanatn, and that his team has mapped out a way for other scientists to tt their work. Bee there are creasg numbers of kids who are “out, ” I am advisg every parent to prepare a stunt advance when—not if—they have a relatively close associatn wh someone who is a clared homosexual or who is tryg to live as the oppose sex. A suatn may arise tomorrow where the rint of the dorm room next door, or a lab partner, or the person who works the same shift at the pizza parlor, or the brother of your child’s bt iend, may announce he or she is “gay, ” "non-bary, " or the oppose sex.
I THK MY IEND IS GAY. HELP ME GAY-GAF!
Several parents have lled and tearfully related their experienc about a child who was eventually drawn to a homosexual relatnship this way, when there was no prev sign of same sex attractn. And of urse, you should never allow your child to bee close to an adult who is a homosexual, even if that person is a relative, nor to a male intifyg as a female or vice versa.
A sual relatnship may pose ltle risk, but the closer the iendship, the more fluence this person will have on your son or dghter’s beliefs about homosexualy, and about masculy and femy. And have been told by loyal iends of homosexuals that they really believe their iends’ claim that he or she was “born that way” or "born the wrong sex body. Your child will hear the assertn over and over that the iend is not only well-adjted, but sure that he uld never be anythg other than homosexual, or is really trapped the wrong sex body.
SCIENTISTS MAY HAVE FALLY UNLOCKED PUZZLE OF WHY PEOPLE ARE GAY
The long-term evince is that homosexualy and genr nfn arise out of dysfunctn, cludg experienc like child sexual abe, poor relatnships wh parents (pecially the same sex parent), and peer difficulti. The claim once ma about the elive “gay gene” has been quietly dropped by most of the pro-homosexual anizatns, bee n’t be supported by science.
Rather than beg jt a set percentage of people, homosexualy is stead one of a feteria selectn of behavrs that adolcents pecially are now tryg. The more I rearched the current trends about what actually go on among homosexuals and "transgenrs" and what their claims are, the more clear the Gospel beme.
IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
But olr, strongly –ground stunts n share the Gospel wh a homosexual iend, beg reful not to ndone their behavr, nor to discred other Christians who believe what God’s Word teach. Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay? " Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men.
Like some gaffers before me told you, jt let a uple of gay-iendly ment out, jt let him know you'll support him whenever he out (if he out) and that should be enough. Don't imply anythg, don't even look at him too hard, but jt say how you feel, and hopefully that seed gets put to his head if he's actually gay.
WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND TELLS YOU HE'S {FONT-SIZE:20PX;LOR:#999;FONT-STYLE:ALIC;MARG:0PX;MARG-TOP:10PX;}THE EDUTN OF A STRAIGHT {GRID-ROW-START:2;GRID-LUMN-START:2;GRID-LUMN-END:3;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{GRID-LUMN-START:1;GRID-LUMN-END:2;}}{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;MARG-BOTTOM:5PX;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;} IMG{PADDG-RIGHT:7PX;}BY {LOR:#BA0600;}NATHAN S. {BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;}{DISPLAY:NONE;}@MEDIA (MAX-WIDTH:950PX){{BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;DISPLAY:BLOCK;PADDG-TOP:20PX;PADDG-BOTTOM:20PX;MARG-TOP:20PX;BORR-TOP:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-BOTTOM:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;}}{DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;FLEX-DIRECTN:LUMN;WIDTH:TO;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;POSN:-WEBK-STICKY;POSN:STICKY;TOP:70PX;-WEBK-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-MS-FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;FLEX-DIRECTN:ROW;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;POSN:UNSET;} {DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG:0PX;} > SPAN{WIDTH:35PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR-RADI:50%;} SVG{WIDTH:25PX !IMPORTANT;HEIGHT:35PX !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EMAIL > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PRT > SPAN, .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_LK > SPAN{BACKGROUND-LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_UNTER .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_EXPAND{WIDTH:35PX;HEIGHT:35PX;MARG:0PX;PADDG:0PX;BACKGROUND:NONE;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;BORR:1PX SOLID #EBEBEB;BORR-RADI:50%;LOR:#EBEBEB !IMPORTANT;} .ADDTHIS_BUTTON_PACT{DISPLAY:NONE !IMPORTANT;} {MARG:0PX 5PX;}{POSN:RELATIVE;WIDTH:100%;} P{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;} OL{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;FONT:17PX/25PX GEIA,SERIF;PADDG-LEFT:80PX;} P A, OL A, P A:VISED, OL A:VISED{LOR:#BA0600;-WEBK-TRANSN:0.3S ALL;TRANSN:0.3S ALL;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} P A:HOVER, OL A:HOVER{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} H1, H2, H3, H4, H5, H6{MAX-WIDTH:600PX;MARG:0PX TO;PADDG:0PX 20PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MARG-TOP:1EM;MARG-BOTTOM:1EM;LOR:#7B1B18;}GAY PEOPLE ARE ENGAGED AN ONGOG STGGLE TO HAVE THEIR RIGHTS REGNIZED AND RPECTED. AS A STRAIGHT PERSON TALKG PRIMARILY TO OTHER STRAIGHTS. I HOPE TO SUPPORT ALL WHO ARE OPPRSED BEE OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN. THE FOC ON GAY MEN AS OPPOSED TO LBIANS IS ONLY A REFLECTN OF MY PERSONAL KNOWLEDGE.A YEAR AGO, NO ONE I KNEW WAS OPENLY GAY. MY NTACT WH HOMOSEXUALY UNTIL THEN WAS PROBABLY QUE STANDARD. WHEN I WAS SEVEN, MY MOTHER TALKED TO ME ABOUT PEOPLE LLED "FAIRI." SHE WARNED ME TO WATCH OUT FOR THEM, EXPLAG THAT THEIR EXISTENCE WAS A PY FOR THEM AND A NUISANCE FOR THE RT OF . FROM THEN ON, THE ISSUE WAS ABSENT OM NVERSATN AT HOME, EXCEPT WHEN SOMETHG ABOUT ANA BRYANT ME ON THE NEWS. WE ALL REGARD ANA AS SOMEWHAT OFF THE WALL, BUT NOT OUT OF ANY EPLY FELT VIEWS ON HOMOSEXUALY. AT SCHOOL, THE WORDS "GAY" AND "FAG" WERE ED ONLY AS SULTS TO STUNTS SO AWKWARD OR UNPOPULAR THAT THE TERM "WIMP" WOULD NOT DO. HOMOSEXUALY WAS SPOTLIGHTED ONLY ONCE: WHEN THE WOMEN'S STUDI CLASS VED A LBIAN TO SPEAK AND HALF THE PARENTS LLED UP TO PLA.THE FLUENC HELPED TO SHAPE MY VIEW OF HOMOSEXUALY. LIKE THE RT OF SOCIETY, I VIEWED THEM AS UNNATURAL AND DISGTG. I SAW HOMOSEXUALY AS RPTN OF "REAL" SEXUALY, AN UNFORTUNATE ELEMENT TO BE RTRICTED OR SUPRSED WHERE POSSIBLE. AND SPE THE STANDARD JOK, EP DOWN HOMOSEXUALY MA ME VERY UNFORTABLE.* * *ONE MORNG LAST SPRG, A POSTER ON MY DOOR SAID "DO YOU KNOW THAT SOMEONE YOU RE ABOUT IS GAY?" AS I WALKED TO BREAKFAST, I RAN MY MD OVER PEOPLE I RED ABOUT. CONCLUDG POSIVELY THAT NOT ONE WAS GAY. I DISMISSED THE SIGN AS PROPAGANDA FOR THE G GAY/LBIAN AWARENS DAY (GLAD).THAT NIGHT, ONE OF MY CLOST IENDS SAT ME DOWN TO TALK. THIS SELF WAS STRANGE, BEE WE UALLY TALKED QUE NATURALLY ON ANY SUBJECT. THE SUATN BEME MORE PECULIAR AS I WATCHED HIM. I HAD NEVER SEEN HIM SO NERVO. HE ULDN'T STICK TO ONE TOPIC OF NVERSATN. FALLY, AFTER A VERY LONG AND PAED TRODUCTN, HE TOLD ME HE WAS GAY. HE HAD KNOWN THIS THROUGHOUT OUR IENDSHIP.I DID MY BT TO SEEM LLECTED, BUT SI I WAS A MASS OF SHOCK AND NFN. I TRIED TO APPEAR OL AND THEN TOOK THE FIRST OPPORTUNY TO LEAVE I NEED TIME TO THK ABOUT THIS ALONE. AS I SAT ON A BENCH AND TRIED TO RELAX, I BEGAN TO THK HERENTLY: "THIS IS AN ENORMO THG; HOW ULD I NOT HAVE KNOWN ?" "WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME BEFORE?" "HOW MUCH DO THIS AFFECT HIS THOUGHTS AND ACTNS?" "HOW DO THIS MEAN HE SE ME?" "I FD HOMOSEXUALY REPULSIVE; HOW N A CLOSE IEND BE HOMOSEXUAL?" "I KNOW WHAT GAYS ARE LIKE: HOW N HE BE ONE?"MY IEND'S FACE SUDNLY ME TO FOC. I ULD STILL SEE HIM RIGHT ONT OF RACE. I ULD SEE HIM QUIVER AS HE BRACED FOR ME TO REACT. THERE WAS MY OWN IEND, WAG FOR ME TO REJECT HIM. REJECT... THIS MA ME THK OF OUR IENDSHIP. I REMEMBERED TIM WE HAD SPENT TOGETHER; TAST WE HAD SHARED, NEEDS WE HAD FILLED FOR EACH OTHER. AND HE HAD BEEN GAY ALL THE WHILE... BUT HADN'T THE TIM BEEN JT AS GOOD? IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE THEY HAD. AND ULDN'T THEY BE EQUALLY GOOD THE FUTURE? WHY NOT? THE ONLY DIFFERENCE NOW WAS THAT I KNEW SOMETHG THAT HAD ALWAYS BEEN TE.MY THOUGHTS TURNED TO HIS POT OF VIEW. I GRIMACED, REMEMBERG TIM THAT HOMOSEXUALY HAD E UP NVERSATN. WHAT AN ACTOR HE HAD BEEN! HE HAD LGHED AT THE SAME JOK AND PROFSED THE SAME ATTUS AS I HAD. IN GROUPS OF GUYS HE HAD RATED THE GIRLS ALONG WH EVERYONE ELSE.I REALIZED HOW ALONE HE OFTEN MT FEEL. UNABLE TO BE HIS TE SELF, ED NDNED TO HATE THAT TE SELF, HE HAS TO AL NSTANTLY PRETENS. SUDNLY, I WANTED TO TALK TO {DISPLAY:BLOCK;MARG:0PX TO;WIDTH:100%;MAX-WIDTH:100%;BACKGROUND:TRANSPARENT;PADDG:10PX 0PX;} {FONT-FAY:'COLABORATE LIGHT','LUCIDA SANS UNI',SANS-SERIF;LOR:#333333;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;FONT-SIZE:0.7EM;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;DISPLAY:BLOCK;} {WIDTH:-WEBK-F-NTENT;WIDTH:-MOZ-F-NTENT;WIDTH:F-NTENT;MARG:0PX TO;TEXT-ALIGN:CENTER;}ADVERTISEMENTWHEN I WENT TO SEE HIM THAT NIGHT, I KNEW THE ISSUE WOULD AFFECT ME OM THEN ON. I HAD TAKEN A STRONG FIRST STEP BY WORKG THROUGH MOST OF MY FEELGS ABOUT HIS HOMOSEXUALY. YET I STILL FELT THREATENED MYSELF. SOMETHG NAGGED EP SI THAT IF I THOUGHT OR TALKED ABOUT TOO MUCH, THIS GAYNS MIGHT SPREAD TO ME TOO, OR SRIER, EXPOSE SOMETHG ALREADY THERE. BUT IF I WANTED TO KEEP MY IEND, HOWEVER NERVO I WAS. I HAD TO FACE SUCH POSSIBILI.I AM LUCKY THAT I DID. LEARNG ABOUT THIS ISSUE CHANGED AND ENRICHED ME WAYS THAT I ULD NOT HAVE IMAGED. MY IEND, LIGHTED NOT ONLY THAT WE WERE AS CLOSE AS BEFORE, BUT THAT I WAS TERTED UNRSTANDG HOMOSEXUALY BETTER, TRODUCED ME TO HIS GAY IENDS. WH THIS NEW AWARENS, I DISVERED THAT SEVERAL HIGH SCHOOL IENDS WERE ALSO GAY AND HAD KNOWN ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL. THIS FLOOD OF NEW KNOWLEDGE STROYED MOST OF MY MISNCEPTNS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY. FEARS AND PREJUDIC, HOWEVER, TOOK LONGER; DISPELLG THEM REQUIR A URAGE AND EFFORT BEYOND SIMPLY ACQUIRG KNOWLEDGE. THIS WHOLE PROCS OF TN HAS LED ME TO THE FOLLOWG NCLNS ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY.HOSTILY TO HOMOSEXUALY STEMS LARGELY OM SECURY AND IGNORANCE. LIKE ALL PREJUDICE, OURS AGAST GAYS IS NOT BASED ON RATNAL REASONG. I BELIEVE STEMS LARGELY OM SECURY, OM A EP FEAR THAT WE MAY BE OR BEE GAY OURSELV. FOR SOME, GREAT AFFECTN FOR A IEND OF THE SAME SEX MAY E THIS WORRY. FOR OTHERS, MAY BE LS NSC. BUT, SOCIAL ATTUS TOWARD HOMOSEXUALY MAGNIFY THIS WORRY TO A HORROR. SOME RPOND TO WH RISN OR HOSTILY TO GAYS, HOPG THIS WILL REAFFIRM THEIR HETEROSEXUALY. BUT MOST SIMPLY TRY TO CROWD ANY THOUGHT OF HOMOSEXUALY OUT OF THEIR HEADS. THAT CREAT ANOTHER SOURCE OF HOSTILY TO GAYS: IGNORANCE. SHUTTG HOMOSEXUALY OUT OF OUR WORLD FOSTERS THE SAME FEAR AND MISTST OF THE ALIEN THAT HAS ALWAYS LED PEOPLE TO HATE EACH OTHER. OUR PREJUDICE AGAST GAY PEOPLE WILL LGER AS LONG AS THEY ARE UNFAIAR. ONLY EE TERACTN WH THEM WILL SHOW THAT THEY ARE PEOPLE JT LIKE OURSELV.HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT NTAG. ASSOCIATG WH GAY PEOPLE WILL NOT MAKE YOU GAY; N ONLY BRG OUT HOMOSEXUAL TENNCI IF THEY ALREADY EXIST. FOR ME, LEARNG ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY STRENGTHENED RATHER THAN NFED MY SEXUAL INTY. BEE I UNRWENT SUCH AN TENSE EXAMATN OF THIS SUBJECT AND MY FEELGS ABOUT . I HAD LTLE DOUBT ONCE I HAD FISHED. HAD I BEEN GAY, SUCH HARD THKG WOULD ONLY HAVE HELPED ME UNRSTAND MYSELF. SO NTACT WH HOMOSEXUALY WILL NOT CHANGE OUR SEXUAL INTY, ONLY CLARIFY .HOMOSEXUALY IS A VALID FORM OF LOVE. WHAT STCK ME MOST LEARNG ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL RELATNSHIP IS THE AMAZG SIARY TO STRAIGHT ON THE FEELGS AND EMOTNS THEY VOLVE. WHOUT THE NAM AND PRONOUNS, A SCRIPTN OF A GAY AFFAIR IS LERALLY DISTGUISHABLE OM THAT OF A STRAIGHT ONE. ADVICE I MIGHT GIVE TO A GAY MAN ABOUT A ROMANCE IS EQUALLY APPLIBLE TO A STRAIGHT WOMAN. SEEG HOW NATURAL AND BETIFUL A GAY RELATNSHIP N BE HAS NVCED ME THAT IS NOT ANY WAY A PERVERSN, RPTN OR MISE OF SEXUALY. IT IS SIMPLY AN ALTERNATIVE. THERE IS A PACY TO LOVE ALL PEOPLE, AND A STANDARD LIMG SEXUAL NTACT TO OPPOSE SEX IS AT BT ARTIFICIAL, AT WORST VERY CEL TO THOSE WHO ARE NOT PART OF THE NORM THAT CREATED . ESPECIALLY THE PRSURED AND SOMETIM LONELY ATMOSPHERE OF LLEGE, ANY KD OF REAL AFFECTN IS VALUABLE. WE SHOULD RE MORE THAT EXISTS THAN BETWEEN WHOM.CRICS OF HOMOSEXUALY ADM MAY BE AS PERSONALLY FULFILLG AS HETEROSEXUALY. BUT THEY CLAIM IS SOCIALLY UNSIRABLE BEE THE GAY LIFTYLE PRECLUS THE JOY OF THE FAY AND UNRM A SOCIAL STCTURE BASED ON THE FAY UN. HOMOSEXUALY SHOULD TH BE DISURAGED LT ENTICE ANY HONT HETEROSEXUALS. THERE ARE TWO PROBLEMS WH THIS ARGUMENT. FIRST, IF FAY LIFE REALLY IS PREFERABLE, MOST PEOPLE WILL CHOOSE . OPPRSG SOMEONE TO AN UNWANTED LIFTYLE BEE HE WILL ENJOY MORE IS ILLOGIL. SEND, MANY OF TODAY'S HETEROSEXUAL UPL CI NOT TO HAVE FAI. ALTHOUGH THEY ARE AS GUILTY AS GAYS OF THREATENG THE FAY LIFTYLE, WE DO NOT PERSECUTE THEM.HOMOSEXUALY IS NOT A PHASE. MANY HETEROSEXUALS BELIEVE THAT GAY PEOPLE CHOOSE THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN OR ARE SIMPLY "GOG THROUGH A PHASE." THIS IS OFTEN ED TO JTIFY DISCRIMATN, HOPG WILL "BRG THEM AROUND" TO HETEROSEXUALY. IT WON'T. ALL THE GAY PEOPLE I HAVE QUTNED ON THIS KNEW THEY WERE GAY AT QUE A YOUNG AGE AND EXPECT ALWAYS TO REMA SO. THOUGH NONE N SAY IS BLOGILLY TERMED, THEY ALL REGARD THEIR HOMOSEXUALY AS MUCH MORE THAN A STATE OF MD. IT IS AN SENTIAL PART OF THEM. CLEARLY, PERSECUTG THEM WILL NOT DUCE THEM TO CHANGE, ONLY E THEM TO SUFFER.GAY PEOPLE DO NOT PLACE UNDO EMPHASIS ON SEX. HOMOSEXUALS ARE DIFFERENTIATED AS A GROUP BY THEIR SEXUAL HABS. UNFORTUNATELY, THIS FOSTERS THE IMPRSN THAT THEY ARE OVERSEXED OR SEXUALLY PERVERTED, SADO-MASOCHISTS, OR CHILD MOLTERS.THIS NOTN IS AS UNFOUND AS IS HARMFUL. GAY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN FOUND STATISTILLY LS LIKELY TO MOLT CHILDREN THAN STRAIGHT PEOPLE, AND NO MORE VLENT OR UNBALANCED THAN ANYONE ELSE. NOR IS SEX THE FOC OF MOST GAYS' LIV. FOR THE ON I KNOW, HAS S PLACE AMONG AMICS, EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVI AND IENDSHIPS. ONCE WE INTIFY PEOPLE BY THEIR PERSONALI AND TERTS STEAD OF THEIR PRIVATE LIV, WE WILL PUT THIS ISSUE PROPER PERSPECTIVE.THE GAY STEREOTYPE IS DAMAGG. THE GREATT SHOCK TO MY NAIVETE ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY WAS FDG OUT HOW MON IS. STUDI TO TERME EXACTLY HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE GAY NSISTENTLY SETTLE AROUND 10 PER CENT OF THE POPULATN. THIS MEANS THERE ARE 20 TO 25 LN GAY AMERINS. THE 10-PER-CENT FIGURE AT FIRST SEEMED TO ME IMPOSSIBLE BEE SO FEW PEOPLE. I KNEW F THE IMAGE I HAD OF A GAY PERSON. I HAVE SCE REALIZED THAT THE VAST MAJORY OF GAY PEOPLE DO NOT F THIS IMAGE. THE ARE THE GAYS WE DO NOT PERCEIVE. THEY E OM ALL SECTORS OF SOCIETY AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHG MON SEXUAL PREFERENCE. ONLY A SMALL PERCENTAGE FEEL FORTABLE ENOUGH TO BE OPEN ABOUT THEIR HOMOSEXUALY. IT IS SENTIAL TO REALIZE HOW LARGE AND VAR A GROUP THE PEOPLE ARE, AND HOW MANY OF OUR IENDS ARE AMONG THEM. OTHERWISE WE WILL NOT UNRSTAND WHOM OUR PREJUDICE STRIK.ADVERTISEMENTTHE RELIG ARGUMENT AGAST HOMOSEXUALY IS HYPOCRIL. AMONG THE THOANDS OF L AND LAWS THE OLD TTAMENT IS FOUND, "THOU SHALT NOT LIE WH MANKD, AS WH WOMANKD: IS ABOMATN." (LEVIC 18:22). FOR SOME, THIS STATEMENT IS SUFFICIENT TO VOKE THE MORAL THORY OF GOD AGAST HOMOSEXUALY BUT THIS IS CLEARLY A SE OF SELECTIVE E OF HIS WORD. THE SAME BOOK OF THE BIBLE ALSO TEACH MEN NOT TO HARVT THE RNERS OF THEIR FIELDS AND NOT TO TOUCH A WOMAN FOR EIGHT DAYS AFTER SHE MENSTAT. YET WE NSIR THE LAWS "OUTDATED" AND IGNORE THEM--FOR GOOD REASON. RUL AGAST HOMOSEXUALY AND MASTURBATN ALSO PLAYED AN IMPORTANT ROLE PRERVG THE SPECI. BUT NOW THAT WE HAVE THE OPPOSE POPULATN PROBLEM, THE L SHOULD BE NSIRED AS OBSOLETE AS THE OTHERS.THE ISSUE OF BIRTH NTROL IS STCTIVE HERE. ITS PRACTICE IS ALSO FORBIDN BY A LERAL TERPRETATN OF THE BIBLE, YET WE DO NOT PERSECUTE THOSE WHO E . IN FACT, MANY ERS ARE THE SAME ON WHO NMN HOMOSEXUALY AS UNGODLY. THIS SELECTIVE PIETY IS THE BAST HYPOCRISY.GAYS ARE OPPRSED. THE EARLY LIFE OF EVERY GAY IS FILLED WH TNTS OF "FAG" AND "QUEER." THE TEACH HIM TO HATE WHAT HE IS. THEY MAKE ADMISSN OF HIS HOMOSEXUALY TO HIMSELF A CSHG BLOW. THE GAY WH ENOUGH URAGE TO STEP OUT OF HIS CLOSET IS ALSO OPPRSED. HE IS OSTRACIZED BY MANY OF HIS IENDS, OFTEN PLETELY REJECTED BY HIS IENDS, OFTEN PLETELY REJECTED BY HIS FAY, REGARD AS MISGUID OR MENTED BY THE RT OF SOCIETY, HARASSED, RIDICULED, AND SOMETIM EVEN PHYSILLY ATTACKED. EVEN IF A GAY IS ACCEPTED BY HIS FAY AND IENDS, HE STILL FAC VASTATG SOCIAL DISCRIMATN. HE N LEGALLY BE EXCLUD OM ANY KD OF EMPLOYMENT, PUBLIC OR PRIVATE, BARRED BY LABOR UNNS, NIED HOG, MORTGAGE, CRED SURANCE, EVEN PUBLIC ACODATNS. IN ALL 50 STAT HE IS EMED UNF TO TEACH SCHOOL. IN EACH SE, HE IS JUDGED AS A WORKER, TENANT OR CTOMER NOT BY HIS CRENTIALS FOR SUCH ACTIVI, BUT BY HOW HE NDUCTS HIS PRIVATE LIFE.THE SUATN AT HARVARD IS NO BETTER. THE MOTN PASSED CHUL THIS WEEK REMENDG AN OFFICIAL NON-DISCRIMATN CLSE UNIVERSY POLICY IS AN IMPORTANT STEP FORWARD. BUT WE STILL HAVE FAR TO GO. THE EPISO THIS FALL WHICH THE GAY STUNTS ASSOCIATN WAS NIED ACCS TO STUNT REGISTRATN PACKETS DRAMATIZED THE REALY OF STUTNAL DISCRIMATN.THE ADMISTRATN IS NOT THE ONLY PROBLEM. STUNTS CTOMARILY FACE AND RIP DOWN POSTERS FOR GAY AND LBIAN EVENTS. LAST SPRG THEY HURLED TNTS, SULTS AND EVEN FOOD AT OTHER STUNTS ANNOUNCG GLAD DAY THE DG HALLS. ONE STUNT WAS EVEN ATTACKED--FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN HIS HOMOSEXUALY--WHILE CLEANG UP AFTER A GAY/LBIAN DANCE LAST APRIL. IN A MUNY AS TED AS OURS IS, THIS KD OF ABE IS HARD TO UNRSTAND. FOR A LEADG UNIVERSY THE UNED STAT AND THE WORLD, IS UNACCEPTABLE. IT IS TIME FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE TO REALIZE THAT WE MT CHANGE. IT IS WE WHO E THE SUFFERG OF GAY PEOPLE. OUR ATTUS E GUILT, SHAME, AND LONELS, AND OUR ACTNS E FEAR AND ALIENATN. AS THE MAJORY, WE N CHANGE THE SUATN. PUBLICLY, WE MT SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS. PRIVATELY, WE MT REALIZE THAT WE KNOW GAY PEOPLE. REVISG OUR ATTUS, EVEN SUCH SMALL WAYS AS HOW WE REFER TO GAYS, WILL MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELV AND ABOUT . AS SUCH CHANGE OCCURS, NOT ONLY WILL THE GAY PEOPLE OUR MIDST BEE UNBURNED, BUT THE RT OF WILL EELY ENJOY THE ENERGY AND TALENTS OF A TREMENDO GROUP OF PEOPLE.NATHAN S. SZANTON '83 LIV SOUTH {FONT-SIZE:16.5PX;LE-HEIGHT:26PX;BOX-SIZG:NTENT-BOX;MAX-WIDTH:600PX;PADDG:0PX 20PX;MARG:0PX TO;MARG:1EM TO;} A{LOR:#7B1B18;}WANT TO KEEP UP WH BREAKG NEWS? 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I'm sgle, I very rarely go on dat or partake the gay scene so apart om my porn llectn 's not that big part of my life, and there isn't that much to talk about. It jt feels weird to start a nversatn wh "Hi I'm gay", but then after a while starts feelg a b silly that someone close to you still don't know.
GAF HELP, I THK MY IEND IS GAY...
So to the OP I gus I'd remend tryg to work some gay topics to the discsns, whhout beg obv and maybe he'll fd easier to e out if he is gay. If you guys are good iends, is most likely that he's actively htg to you that he *is* gay - other words, he wants you to be the first to ask.
If one of my iends were gay, out of rpect to him I probably would not talk about my -workers massive ts or how I got to third base wh random bar chick last Saturday. If he is gay, but still wrtlg wh the ia, or nyg , or otherwise ashamed of , there's no tellg what nsequenc the qutn might have on our iendship.
CAN A STRAIGHT GUY ETHILLY ACCEPT ORAL SEX OM HIS GAY BUDDY?
The only reason I red to ask is, a good portn of our nversatns at work (he was a worker) tend to revolve around ladi and their var bodyparts, and 's not somethg I would discs wh a gay man bee I would image a gay man would fd that subject as appealg as I would fd the reversed subject. Personally, I wouldn't ask if he were gay eher, but if I were you, I'd try to make sure your iend knows you're a person who has no problem havg gay iends. I had a bad out to two of my bt iends about 5 years ago that I knew sce middle school (I'm 29 now) -- both totally straight, neher had any ia I was gay, and their reactns were tough.
I me out to two of my bt iends about 5 years ago that I knew sce middle school (I'm 29 now) -- both totally straight, neher had any ia I was gay, and their reactns were tough. So image my relief when the other day he actually thumbs up/like the "Gays NY n get married" news that someone else on his iends list posted on Facebook. As a girl who is ocsnally attracted to girls I n tell you that often the girls who I want to look like are not the same as the on that I would go gay for.
IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
Homosexualy was spotlighted only once: when the women's studi class ved a lbian to speak and half the parents lled up to fluenc helped to shape my view of homosexualy. Somethg nagged ep si that if I thought or talked about too much, this gayns might spread to me too, or srier, expose somethg already there.
My iend, lighted not only that we were as close as before, but that I was terted unrstandg homosexualy better, troduced me to his gay iends. For some, this statement is sufficient to voke the moral thory of God agast homosexualy But this is clearly a se of selective e of His word. The episo this fall which the Gay Stunts Associatn was nied accs to stunt registratn packets dramatized the realy of stutnal admistratn is not the only problem.