What If You Only Thought You Were Gay? | GQ

Contents:

• DEAR MARY: I THOUGHT I WAS GAY, BUT NOW I REALISE I’M NOT. HOW DO I ‘REVERSE E OUT’?
• WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?
• I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN
• PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT
• I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• AM I GAY OR BISEXUAL? QUIZ
• ‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• I'M GAY AND YOU'RE NOT: UNRSTANDG HOMOSEXUALY FEARS
• WHY DO EVERYONE THK I’M GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• AM I GAY, OR BI?
• I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN
• WHY DO EVERYONE THK I'M GAY?!
• IS ALLAN OM 'BARBIE' GAY? 5 REASONS TO THK HE MIGHT BE
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• I WAS TEAM DESANTIS BEFORE HIS DISGTG ANTI-GAY AD
• 'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY
• THREAD: MY HEADS TELLG ME I AM GAY, YET MENTALLY I AM NOT
• THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M GAY?
• GAY TT FOR MAL AG 12-16
• HER BOYIEND ISN'T GAY OR BI BUT HE IS SUCKG DICKS GLORY HOL
• THE GAY-O-METER! ?️‍? LGBTQ QUIZ
• I WAS TEAM DESANTIS BEFORE HIS DISGTG ANTI-GAY ADGONE TOO FARTO DESANTIS, IF YOU ARE GAY, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE A PART OF THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT.YVONNE DEAN-BAILEYUPDATED JUL. 05, 2023 12:28PM EDT / PUBLISHED JUL. 01, 2023 11:46PM EDT OPNMICHAEL M SANTIAGO/GETTY IMAGIN THEORY, I AM RON DESANTIS’ PERFECT VOTER. I AM A LIFELONG NSERVATIVE, I VEHEMENTLY OPPOSE ANY AND ALL COVID RTRICTNS, AND I AM PASSNATELY ANTI-TMP. WHAT ULD BE A MORE IAL VOTER FOR A NDIDATE LIKE DESANTIS?THERE’S ONE PROBLEM FOR DESANTIS, THOUGH: I AM A GAY WOMAN. AND I N’T STAND BEHD HIS ATTACKS AGAST THE LGBTQ+ MUNY.I WAS UNNIABLY ON TEAM DESANTIS BEFORE HIS MPAIGN SHARED WHAT ULD BE NSIRED THE MOST ANTI-LGBTQ+ AD RECENT HISTORY, BOASTG ABOUT ALL THE MEASUR HE’S SUPPORTED CRACKG DOWN ON THE LGBTQ+ MUNY. NOT ONLY DID DESANTIS SHOW THAT HE IS AS ANTI-LGBTQ+ AS THE MASTREAM MEDIA HAS ALLEGED, HE MA A MOCKERY OF ANY GOP NDIDATE THAT SHOWS AN TERT LGBTQ+ RIGHTS, SETTG THE WHOLE PARTY BACK S. DPE MY NSERVATIVE CRENTIALS, YOU ULDN’T PAY ME TO VOTE FOR THE FLORIDA ERNOR NOW. I AM A LBIAN AND DESANTIS HAS MA ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT HE DON’T WANT ANY LGBTQ+ NSERVATIV ON HIS TEAM BEE OF THEIR INTY. WHEN DESANTIS WAS TOYG WH THE IA OF NNG FOR PRINT, HE SOUND LIKE THE PERFECT NDIDATE: HE WAS TMP WHOUT THE TMPS. LTLE DID I KNOW DESANTIS WAS FARTHER TO THE RIGHT ON ISSU THAT MEANT THE MOST TO ME AND THE MORE THAN 70 PERCENT OF AMERINS WHO SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS.HE HAS MA CLEAR THE PAST FEW WEEKS THAT HE’S MORE TERTED APPEASG TWTER TROLLS WHO ABHOR ANY AMERIN WHO INTIFI AS LGBTQ+. TO DESANTIS, IF YOU ARE GAY, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE A PART OF THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT.A FEW YEARS AGO, I WOULDN’T HAVE BELIEVED THIS, BUT DESANTIS' RECENT ANTI-LGBTQ+ AD HAS PROVED THAT HE IS TO THE RIGHT OF TMP WHEN TO LGBTQ+ ISSU. IF TMP WAS SOMEONE WHO DON’T SUPPORT THE MOVEMENT, DESANTIS IS AN ALL-OUT HATER.MY GAYNS HAS NOTHG TO DO WH THE FACT THAT FLORIDA IS A BOOMG STATE AN OTHERWISE LACKLTER ENOMY. THAT BEG SAID, DESANTIS HAS MA ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT HE DO NOT SUPPORT GAY AMERINS REGARDLS OF WHETHER THEY SUPPORT HIS NSERVATIVE AGENDA.WHEN I FIRST ENUNTERED DESANTIS DURG HIS BOLD STANCE AGAST COVID MANDAT EARLIER THIS YEAR, I WAS GENERALLY PLEASED WH THE FLORIDA ERNOR. HE SEEMED JT LIKE WHAT NSERVATIV HAVE BEEN MISSG. BUT WHEN THE LEGISLATIVE SSN BROUGHT ISSU NCERNG LGBTQ+ RIGHTS TO THE FOREONT, MY EXCEMENT QUICKLY TURNED TO DISAPPOTMENT. IT BEME EVINT THAT DESANTIS WAS NOT THE CHAMPN OF DIVIDUAL EEDOMS AND RIGHTS THAT I HAD HOPED FOR.HIS ANTI-GAY RHETORIC AND ACTNS ARE NOT ONLY EPLY HURTFUL TO LGBTQ+ AMERINS LIKE MYSELF BUT ALSO TARNISH THE IMAGE OF THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT. AS A LIFELONG NSERVATIVE, I BELIEVE THE PRCIPL OF LIMED ERNMENT, PERSONAL RPONSIBILY, AND DIVIDUAL LIBERTI. YET, DESANTIS’ APPROACH TO LGBTQ+ ISSU GO AGAST THE VERY PRCIPL.BY EXCLUDG LGBTQ+ NSERVATIV AND ATTACKG THEIR RIGHTS, DESANTIS ALIENAT A SIGNIFINT PORTN OF HIS POTENTIAL BASE, EFFECTIVELY DRIVG AWAY VOTERS WHO SHARE MANY OF HIS OTHER NSERVATIVE BELIEFS. IT IS DISHEARTENG TO WNS A NDIDATE WHO ULD HAVE BEEN A UNG FORCE WH THE PARTY STEAD NTRIBUTG TO FURTHER DIVISIVENS.DESANTIS’ STANCE ON LGBTQ+ ISSU NOT ONLY NTRADICTS NSERVATIVE VALU BUT ALSO REFLECTS A SEVERE DISNNECT OM THE MAJORY OF AMERINS WHO SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS. ACRDG TO POLLS, OVER 70 PERCENT OF AMERINS SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE, AND THIS NUMBER NTU TO RISE. BY DISREGARDG SUCH A SIGNIFINT PORTN OF THE POPULATN, DESANTIS REVEALS A NCERNG LACK OF UNRSTANDG OF THE EVOLVG SOCIETAL NORMS AND VALU.AS A GAY WOMAN, MY SEXUAL ORIENTATN IS JT ONE ASPECT OF MY INTY, AND SHOULD NOT FE MY POLIL BELIEFS OR MY PLACE WH THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT. UNFORTUNATELY, DESANTIS SEEMS TO BELIEVE THAT ONE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN TERM THEIR WORTHS TO BE PART OF THE NSERVATIVE E. THIS DIVISIVE MENTALY DO NOT BO WELL FOR THE FUTURE OF THE REPUBLIN PARTY OR S CHANC OF SUCCS BROAR ELECTNS.THE REPUBLIN PARTY SHOULD STRIVE TO BE A BIG-TENT PARTY, EMBRACG DIVERSE PERSPECTIV AND VOIC. ALIENATG LGBTQ+ DIVIDUALS ONLY WEAKENS THE PARTY’S APPEAL AND RTRICTS S ABILY TO ATTRACT NEW SUPPORTERS. IT IS VAL FOR THE PARTY TO EVOLVE AND ADAPT TO THE CHANGG ATTUS OF THE AMERIN PEOPLE, RATHER THAN CLGG TO OUTDATED AND DISCRIMATORY VIEWS.DESANTIS MT REGNIZE THAT HIS ANTI-GAY RHETORIC IS NOT ONLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ AMERINS BUT ALSO TRIMENTAL TO THE VERY PRCIPL HE CLAIMS TO UPHOLD. IF HE TLY AIMS TO LEAD THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT AND BRG ABOUT POSIVE CHANGE FOR ALL AMERINS, HE MT ABANDON DIVISIVE TACTICS AND FOC ON POLICI THAT PROMOTE UNY AND CLIVY.SO FAR, HE IS ONLY LOSG EVERYDAY AMERINS, CLUDG MANY NSERVATIV LIKE MYSELF, THROUGH HIS DISGTG ANTI-GAY RHETORIC. HIS ATTACKS AGAST THE LGBTQ+ MUNY AND EXCLN OF LGBTQ+ NSERVATIV ARE NOT ONLY MORALLY WRONG BUT POLILLY MISGUID. THE REPUBLIN PARTY MT DISTANCE SELF OM SUCH HARMFUL BEHAVR AND STRIVE TO BE A PARTY THAT WEL ALL AMERINS, REGARDLS OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN. ONLY THEN N HOPE TO REPRENT THE TE VALU OF NSERVATISM AND GARNER THE SUPPORT NEED TO SUCCEED FUTURE ELECTNS. YVONNE DEAN-BAILEY

DEAR MARY: I THOUGHT I WAS GAY, BUT NOW I REALISE I’M NOT. HOW DO I ‘REVERSE E OUT’?

’”From the Edors of DetailsDpe the sistence of many—straight and gay—that swchg between sexual preferenc n’t technilly happen, Rothenberg isn’t the only man to have believed he was homosexual before cidg that he was wrong. And they’re not the type who hi gay urg public while privately trottg off to the lol Andrew Br, who grew up Milwkee, was all about girls—until he had sex wh a guy at the end of his senr year of high school.

When he later fell love wh a woman (who was at the time a lbian) and realized he was straight, he didn’t rm anyone that he’d been wavg that rabow flag although there aren’t statistics to show how many men go through a siar sexual shift, anecdotal evince suggts that some men who nsir themselv to be gay experience this kd of change not bee of sexual experimentatn or peer prsure but bee they ci that they want to sleep wh women stead of Ethan Robson (not his real name), a 37-year-old film edor om Los Angel, chasg women durg his post-llege years beme a chore. “I’ve only n across men who me out of the closet and pursued their gay inty but uldn’t whstand the prsur of fay and society so returned to beg closeted and heterosexual relatnships, ” says Ian Kerner, Ph.

However, along the l of sexualy beg fluid, I feel that while there are certaly people who are jt attracted to people of the same genr or a different genr (or asexual), most people fall somewhere on a broad spectm between gay and straight (and beyond!

WHAT IF YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY?

Speakg of articl, I'd also suggt readg The Makgs of a Homo on a young guy intifyg as gay (I realize you are beyond this step your personal journey, but you still might fd tertg) and well as Makg Sense of Sexual Media.

Gay, straight, bi or beyond, the articl Supermol: Creatg & Nurturg Your Own Bt Relatnship Mols and Pothol & Dead Ends: Relatnship Roadblocks to Look Out For brg up important relatnship nsiratns.

Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr.

I THOUGHT I WAS GAY BUT NOW I'M QUTNG MY ORIENTATN

” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight). I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt. The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight).

—and we n sometim sense early on that somethg about our ternal experience feels the fifth gra, when a iend of me sneered that I was gay as an sult, I thought maybe I had land on a name for what I felt.

PEOPLE THK I'M GAY... BUT I'M NOT

Eventually, this led me the oppose directn of what you might assume: My sexual boredom and sometim even disgt wh the men I dated led me to believe I was, and always had been, super gay after, my early 20s, I threw myself a new directn and got eply volved my lol queer muny. I tried donng a “homoflexible” label for a few years, but two boyiends later I had to s back and take a good look at my inty and why my perceptn of kept shiftg seemgly so I didn’t unrstand as I tried on the different labels was that isn’t simply our behavr that dictat who we are. Mmm i jt got disappoted, i thought i uld be bi but i jt end up nfirmg that i'm gay by this quiz, well i jt believe that i uld be bi bee i have many sexual fantasi about women and enjoy them.

Ummm I thk the quiz thks I'm a boy for some ron lled me sir many tim I'm so nfed I got straight and said that I'm all for the girls but I'm not a boy I'm a girl so do that mean I'm gay?

I’VE INTIFIED AS GAY FOR YEARS. NOT ANYMORE.

You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change.

But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup. Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to. ” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy.

”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns. “Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame. ”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay. In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance.

AM I GAY OR BISEXUAL? QUIZ

“It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists. Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins.

And when I published my say on choosg to be gay, an irate Amerin lbian activist wrote me that had “jt been nfirmed” to her that my wrg was “directly rponsible for four gay aths Rsia.

There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure. The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors.

”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way? Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at. ”The other problem wh Born This Way science is summed up nicely by Simon Copland: “Scientists are askg whether homosexualy is natural when we n’t even agree exactly what homosexualy is.

” Our sir may exprs themselv many different ways that do not all nform to existg notns of ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ is one of the bt takeaways of Ward’s Not Gay, a peratg analysis of sex between straight whe men. ”Gay or not, our sir are oriented and re-oriented throughout our liv (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In fact, the straight-intified men Ward studied for her book sometim found themselv suatns that sparked the sire for homosexual sex: aterni, ployments, public rtrooms, etc. I’m claimg that at some pot durg llege, my sexual and romantic sir beme reoriented toward menThkg back to my llege romanc wh women and men, I n beg to unrstand how my own experienc might have helped me to ‘cultivate’ my sire for homosexualy.

I want to be very clear: I’m not claimg I simply began to ‘grow to’ my homosexualy, or that as I beme more fortable wh beg gay, I allowed myself the eedom to exprs what had always been latent wh me. “Limg our unrstandg of any plex human experience is always gog to be worse than allowg to be plited, ” he gay rights activists pared sexualy to relign - a ccial part of our life that we should be ee to practise however we like (Cred: Ignac Lehamann)So what are we to do wh the Born This Way rhetoric? “That’s a very narrow unrstandg of what jtice looks like, ” says about the ncern that homophob will want to ‘enurage’ gay people to be straight if there’s no blogil basis for sexualy?

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

”Acrdg to surveys, ls than half of Generatn Z intify as "100% heterosexual", suggtg more and more people have embraced their sexual fluidy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Perhaps is time to look to the begng of the gay rights movement.

I'M GAY AND YOU'RE NOT: UNRSTANDG HOMOSEXUALY FEARS

“Then there was a shift, and the lears of the movement chose to jump on board wh a ls nuanced argument that people already unrstood: jt like race, people are born wh their homosexualy.

I’m thankful for a new generatn that is pable of imagg sexualy a way that transcends the gay/straight bary, that uldn’t re ls about what happened to their bodi and mds to make them who they are today.

WHY DO EVERYONE THK I’M GAY?

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia. I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight. As of this wrg I have been bombard by threads, private msag, e-mail, and stant msag by straight folks terrified that they are gay (and a very small number of gay and bisexual folks terrified that they, too, are not their real sexual orientatn). Neverthels, is sufficiently wispread to warrant more specialists the field, more media exposure, and more unrstandg among therapists relativ, iends, and, pecially, gay people who give the wrong advice.

Watchg tro vios to Jiu Jsu I found myself thkg "I'm not sure I'm fortable wh all that body ntact, what if they notice I'm embarrassed, what if I get paired wh someone I fd attractive, what if someone works out I'm gay, and has an issue wh and thks I have some other motive for beg there". When down to , there is no reliable "Am I Gay tt", so the only way to know that you are gay (fn of gay) is to look wh yourself to terme your own thoughts and feelgs towards others of the same sex. More about Sheryl Gay StolbergA versn of this article appears prt on, Sectn A, Page 15 of the New York edn wh the headle: Virologists Deny to Panel That Fci Swayed Report Agast Lab Leak Theory.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

While we technilly don't know if Allan is gay (and perhaps Allan himself don't know yet—after all, g out is a long, difficult procs pecially if you don't have queer role mols to look up to), I strongly believe that he is. Also, a movie that is so heavily addrsg genr and romance and that clus such a massive st, mak sense that there would be a gay character the then begs the qutn, why isn't Allan explicly gay the movie?

AM I GAY, OR BI?

We jt don't for me, I am choosg to believe that Allan is wish fulfillment for all of the ltle gay boys of the world, who jt wanted to hang out wh Barbie her Dream Hoe, play drs up, and stay as far away om sports as humanly 's to Allan, a gay in the is now playg theaters.

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight. The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs. Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy.

But to actually be lockg ey wh Ellen and hold her, shakg hands as she said, "I'm gay, " on natnal televisn and for the first time, as she has shared outloud that way publicly, was such a profoundly extraordary and timate gift to that moment that I will forever be grateful for. Ltle did I know DeSantis was farther to the right on issu that meant the most to me and the more than 70 percent of Amerins who support gay has ma clear the past few weeks that he’s more terted appeasg Twter trolls who abhor any Amerin who intifi as LGBTQ+. That beg said, DeSantis has ma abundantly clear that he do not support gay Amerins regardls of whether they support his nservative I first enuntered DeSantis durg his bold stance agast COVID mandat earlier this year, I was generally pleased wh the Florida ernor.

WHY DO EVERYONE THK I'M GAY?!

It beme evint that DeSantis was not the champn of dividual eedoms and rights that I had hoped anti-gay rhetoric and actns are not only eply hurtful to LGBTQ+ Amerins like myself but also tarnish the image of the nservative movement. By disregardg such a signifint portn of the populatn, DeSantis reveals a ncerng lack of unrstandg of the evolvg societal norms and a gay woman, my sexual orientatn is jt one aspect of my inty, and should not fe my polil beliefs or my place wh the nservative movement. If he tly aims to lead the nservative movement and brg about posive change for all Amerins, he mt abandon divisive tactics and foc on polici that promote uny and far, he is only losg everyday Amerins, cludg many nservativ like myself, through his disgtg anti-gay rhetoric.

“There’s this stereotype as well about straight women leadg gay women or bisexual women on, which is an awful thg to do and I gus I’m worried that maybe that would be what I was dog, ” Leila says. I still get a b sad when I hear people sayg, I’m nfed, bee you’re beg ma to feel nfed bee of all the msag and all the stuff out there and so good to hear about TikTok and social media and fdg your tribe, ” Maria are few of those ‘stale stereotyp’ you might have heard about bi/pan people before: “you’re jt gay and too sred to e out”, “you’re jt tryg out”, “’s a phase”, “you’re greedy”, “you n’t ci”, “you’ve gone gay”, “you’ve gone back to beg straight” do we thk the thgs? “The assumptn that straight is better or healthier is somethg I’m challengg wh myself, ” she Dan Sydney has found his clan now, the biphobia and homophobia of his upbrgg are hard to shake off.

The experience of attractn to multiple genrs is super mon even if self-intifyg as bisexual, pansexual, polysexual etc is ls mon, ” Josh maybe everyone really is a b gay/straight/who r?

IS ALLAN OM 'BARBIE' GAY? 5 REASONS TO THK HE MIGHT BE

24, 2014— -- Steven Brodsky, a psychologist who specializ obssive-pulsive disorr, says that at any one time he has a "handful" of clients who are straight and spect that they are gay.

Brodsky said a prev therapist had misdiagnosed his patient as gay, and at the patient's requt, sent him off to reparative therapy, a ntroversial method that has not been proven to be effective and n be harmful. Jack Drcher, a noted New York Cy psychiatrist who is nsired an expert gay and lbian mental health and treats patients for OCD, agreed that "beg worried that one might be gay is not the same thg as beg gay. ""A person wh OCD who has is havg tsive thoughts about whether or not he is gay, is not gay, the sense that he has not rporated a homosexual orientatn any mimally affirmg way to his inty, " said Drcher.

"Also, if he is not actually attracted to people of the same sex, do not masturbate to fantasi of people of the same sex, is not really aroed by same sex pornography, then is hard to make the se that he has a homosexual orientatn.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Another was heterosexual and feared he had agreed wh Brodsky that some therapists may miss an OCD diagnosis, but "the most likely e of that is not that they are too gay-affirmg but that they lack trag regnizg the symptoms of OCD.

I am married and have 2 children have looked at someone and thought they were pretty and had a good holiday I have seen good lookg younger men and thought, how attractive they are and what a good body they have, but this do not make me a you have somethg agast Gay people? About halfway through high school, I got volved the LGBT+ muny when I beme open about my sexualy, and I learned about non-bary genrs and genrfluidy through my school's gay-straight alliance. I wouldn't have any problems wh this—I dated women for ten years prr to him—but he emphatilly swears he's straight and often pots out that he don't like gay porn, he don't like to see gay men beg affectnate, etc.

But sure, GLORY, this may be a fetishistic sire on your boyiend's part or he uld be the tit b bisexual and this is how your boyiend exprs his ty b of bisexualy and only his unrolved homophobia/biphobia prevents him om nceivg of himself as bisexual. But the fact your boyiend don't like to see gay men beg affectnate smacks ls of, "Not gay or bi, not at all gay or bi, nothg to see here, " and more of, "Internalized homophobia and other issu and possibly bi or maybe even gay.

I WAS TEAM DESANTIS BEFORE HIS DISGTG ANTI-GAY AD

So while I want to acknowledge the existence, the lived experience, and the validy of straight boys who like to suck ck but who are no other way attracted to men, this tail—your boyiend's disfort around gay men—uld be a sign that somethg else is gog on wh him. It was a shty, selfish thg to do and you have a right to be angry about , GLORY, and you aren't obligated to put up wh this sh jt bee he's explorg his sexualy or stgglg wh ternalized homophobia/biphobia.

'HOMOSEXUAL OCD': STRAIGHT MEN WHO SPECT THEY ARE GAY

THREAD: MY HEADS TELLG ME I AM GAY, YET MENTALLY I AM NOT

THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M GAY?

GAY TT FOR MAL AG 12-16

HER BOYIEND ISN'T GAY OR BI BUT HE IS SUCKG DICKS GLORY HOL

THE GAY-O-METER! ?️‍? LGBTQ QUIZ

I WAS TEAM DESANTIS BEFORE HIS DISGTG ANTI-GAY ADGONE TOO FARTO DESANTIS, IF YOU ARE GAY, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE A PART OF THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT.YVONNE DEAN-BAILEYUPDATED JUL. 05, 2023 12:28PM EDT / PUBLISHED JUL. 01, 2023 11:46PM EDT OPNMICHAEL M SANTIAGO/GETTY IMAGIN THEORY, I AM RON DESANTIS’ PERFECT VOTER. I AM A LIFELONG NSERVATIVE, I VEHEMENTLY OPPOSE ANY AND ALL COVID RTRICTNS, AND I AM PASSNATELY ANTI-TMP. WHAT ULD BE A MORE IAL VOTER FOR A NDIDATE LIKE DESANTIS?THERE’S ONE PROBLEM FOR DESANTIS, THOUGH: I AM A GAY WOMAN. AND I N’T STAND BEHD HIS ATTACKS AGAST THE LGBTQ+ MUNY.I WAS UNNIABLY ON TEAM DESANTIS BEFORE HIS MPAIGN SHARED WHAT ULD BE NSIRED THE MOST ANTI-LGBTQ+ AD RECENT HISTORY, BOASTG ABOUT ALL THE MEASUR HE’S SUPPORTED CRACKG DOWN ON THE LGBTQ+ MUNY. NOT ONLY DID DESANTIS SHOW THAT HE IS AS ANTI-LGBTQ+ AS THE MASTREAM MEDIA HAS ALLEGED, HE MA A MOCKERY OF ANY GOP NDIDATE THAT SHOWS AN TERT LGBTQ+ RIGHTS, SETTG THE WHOLE PARTY BACK S. DPE MY NSERVATIVE CRENTIALS, YOU ULDN’T PAY ME TO VOTE FOR THE FLORIDA ERNOR NOW. I AM A LBIAN AND DESANTIS HAS MA ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT HE DON’T WANT ANY LGBTQ+ NSERVATIV ON HIS TEAM BEE OF THEIR INTY. WHEN DESANTIS WAS TOYG WH THE IA OF NNG FOR PRINT, HE SOUND LIKE THE PERFECT NDIDATE: HE WAS TMP WHOUT THE TMPS. LTLE DID I KNOW DESANTIS WAS FARTHER TO THE RIGHT ON ISSU THAT MEANT THE MOST TO ME AND THE MORE THAN 70 PERCENT OF AMERINS WHO SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS.HE HAS MA CLEAR THE PAST FEW WEEKS THAT HE’S MORE TERTED APPEASG TWTER TROLLS WHO ABHOR ANY AMERIN WHO INTIFI AS LGBTQ+. TO DESANTIS, IF YOU ARE GAY, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE A PART OF THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT.A FEW YEARS AGO, I WOULDN’T HAVE BELIEVED THIS, BUT DESANTIS' RECENT ANTI-LGBTQ+ AD HAS PROVED THAT HE IS TO THE RIGHT OF TMP WHEN TO LGBTQ+ ISSU. IF TMP WAS SOMEONE WHO DON’T SUPPORT THE MOVEMENT, DESANTIS IS AN ALL-OUT HATER.MY GAYNS HAS NOTHG TO DO WH THE FACT THAT FLORIDA IS A BOOMG STATE AN OTHERWISE LACKLTER ENOMY. THAT BEG SAID, DESANTIS HAS MA ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT HE DO NOT SUPPORT GAY AMERINS REGARDLS OF WHETHER THEY SUPPORT HIS NSERVATIVE AGENDA.WHEN I FIRST ENUNTERED DESANTIS DURG HIS BOLD STANCE AGAST COVID MANDAT EARLIER THIS YEAR, I WAS GENERALLY PLEASED WH THE FLORIDA ERNOR. HE SEEMED JT LIKE WHAT NSERVATIV HAVE BEEN MISSG. BUT WHEN THE LEGISLATIVE SSN BROUGHT ISSU NCERNG LGBTQ+ RIGHTS TO THE FOREONT, MY EXCEMENT QUICKLY TURNED TO DISAPPOTMENT. IT BEME EVINT THAT DESANTIS WAS NOT THE CHAMPN OF DIVIDUAL EEDOMS AND RIGHTS THAT I HAD HOPED FOR.HIS ANTI-GAY RHETORIC AND ACTNS ARE NOT ONLY EPLY HURTFUL TO LGBTQ+ AMERINS LIKE MYSELF BUT ALSO TARNISH THE IMAGE OF THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT. AS A LIFELONG NSERVATIVE, I BELIEVE THE PRCIPL OF LIMED ERNMENT, PERSONAL RPONSIBILY, AND DIVIDUAL LIBERTI. YET, DESANTIS’ APPROACH TO LGBTQ+ ISSU GO AGAST THE VERY PRCIPL.BY EXCLUDG LGBTQ+ NSERVATIV AND ATTACKG THEIR RIGHTS, DESANTIS ALIENAT A SIGNIFINT PORTN OF HIS POTENTIAL BASE, EFFECTIVELY DRIVG AWAY VOTERS WHO SHARE MANY OF HIS OTHER NSERVATIVE BELIEFS. IT IS DISHEARTENG TO WNS A NDIDATE WHO ULD HAVE BEEN A UNG FORCE WH THE PARTY STEAD NTRIBUTG TO FURTHER DIVISIVENS.DESANTIS’ STANCE ON LGBTQ+ ISSU NOT ONLY NTRADICTS NSERVATIVE VALU BUT ALSO REFLECTS A SEVERE DISNNECT OM THE MAJORY OF AMERINS WHO SUPPORT GAY RIGHTS. ACRDG TO POLLS, OVER 70 PERCENT OF AMERINS SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE, AND THIS NUMBER NTU TO RISE. BY DISREGARDG SUCH A SIGNIFINT PORTN OF THE POPULATN, DESANTIS REVEALS A NCERNG LACK OF UNRSTANDG OF THE EVOLVG SOCIETAL NORMS AND VALU.AS A GAY WOMAN, MY SEXUAL ORIENTATN IS JT ONE ASPECT OF MY INTY, AND SHOULD NOT FE MY POLIL BELIEFS OR MY PLACE WH THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT. UNFORTUNATELY, DESANTIS SEEMS TO BELIEVE THAT ONE’S SEXUAL ORIENTATN TERM THEIR WORTHS TO BE PART OF THE NSERVATIVE E. THIS DIVISIVE MENTALY DO NOT BO WELL FOR THE FUTURE OF THE REPUBLIN PARTY OR S CHANC OF SUCCS BROAR ELECTNS.THE REPUBLIN PARTY SHOULD STRIVE TO BE A BIG-TENT PARTY, EMBRACG DIVERSE PERSPECTIV AND VOIC. ALIENATG LGBTQ+ DIVIDUALS ONLY WEAKENS THE PARTY’S APPEAL AND RTRICTS S ABILY TO ATTRACT NEW SUPPORTERS. IT IS VAL FOR THE PARTY TO EVOLVE AND ADAPT TO THE CHANGG ATTUS OF THE AMERIN PEOPLE, RATHER THAN CLGG TO OUTDATED AND DISCRIMATORY VIEWS.DESANTIS MT REGNIZE THAT HIS ANTI-GAY RHETORIC IS NOT ONLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ AMERINS BUT ALSO TRIMENTAL TO THE VERY PRCIPL HE CLAIMS TO UPHOLD. IF HE TLY AIMS TO LEAD THE NSERVATIVE MOVEMENT AND BRG ABOUT POSIVE CHANGE FOR ALL AMERINS, HE MT ABANDON DIVISIVE TACTICS AND FOC ON POLICI THAT PROMOTE UNY AND CLIVY.SO FAR, HE IS ONLY LOSG EVERYDAY AMERINS, CLUDG MANY NSERVATIV LIKE MYSELF, THROUGH HIS DISGTG ANTI-GAY RHETORIC. HIS ATTACKS AGAST THE LGBTQ+ MUNY AND EXCLN OF LGBTQ+ NSERVATIV ARE NOT ONLY MORALLY WRONG BUT POLILLY MISGUID. THE REPUBLIN PARTY MT DISTANCE SELF OM SUCH HARMFUL BEHAVR AND STRIVE TO BE A PARTY THAT WEL ALL AMERINS, REGARDLS OF THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN. ONLY THEN N HOPE TO REPRENT THE TE VALU OF NSERVATISM AND GARNER THE SUPPORT NEED TO SUCCEED FUTURE ELECTNS. YVONNE DEAN-BAILEY