Savage Love: I Am a Lonely, Agg Gay Man; What Should I Do? - Coachella Valley Inpennt

i am a gay what should i do

Men beg attracted to another man emotnally, physilly, and mentally are known as gays. Fd out if you're gay wh our quiz.

Contents:

AM I GAY?

Are you qutng your sexualy? Fd out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what the terms mean and if they apply to you. * i am a gay what should i do *

Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr.

Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight. Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are. The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

* i am a gay what should i do *

You may regret the acceptance of your orientatn the future, pecially if you're a part of the world where the gay muny is beg prosecuted by a specific culture.

Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy.

Even if some of the wilst adventur wh your girliend don’t exce you and the image of another man shirtls or a naked photo exc you to the re, then there are chanc that you might be gay. If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed. While g out — tellg people you’re gay — n be a great experience for teens who have support om their fai and muni, sounds like you may not have this kd of acceptance.

AM I GAY? QUIZ – 100% RELIABLE TT

I am a gay man my late 50s and have never been a relatnship. I am so lonely, and the paful empts I feel is beg absolutely unbearable. * i am a gay what should i do *

” Durg his rearch, Hobb found that, spe growg legal and social acceptance, a worryg percentage of gay men still stggle wh prsn, anxiety and suicidal iatn. “LAG isn’t the only gay guy who has aged out of the bar scene—so have I—and stggl to fd sex and pannship away om alhol and right swip, ” said Hobb.

In addn, sexual orientatn is not jt about who you have feelgs for, 's also about how you thk of yourself (as, straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, or somethg else), and how you actually behave.

” Jo a club or other muny projectThanks to Meetup, Bumble BFF, and lol Facebook groups, there are “bisexual baker meetups, ” “gay dodgeball teams, ” “pansexual pri march, ” and “‘Queer Eye’ watch parti. Homophobia manifts along a spectm; some people merely betray a d disfort toward the ia of gay love, while others let their tolerance rry them to acts of verbal or physil abe. " Often, when someone gets their words put back to their fac, they will back off – or at least see how you're terpretg what they said as homophobia.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

Unrstandg and navigatg your csh A csh is somethg special, and you should enjoy havg one! But when that csh is the same genr as you are, n be a b strsful stead. Do this mean you're gay? Should you tell them?... * i am a gay what should i do *

Article SummaryXIf you have to al wh homophob, first remd yourself that there's nothg wrong wh lovg someone of the same genr and that you don't have to engage wh people who treat you this way. Instead of givg a homophobic bully the reactn they want, for example, you uld walk away or ask a supervisor, like a school unselor or HR manager, to step . " If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet?

I’M GAY, BUT I’M AAID TO E OUT. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Y, datg as a gay, bi+, or pansexual man n be as msy, unfulfillg, and plited as "Queer As Folk" mak seem. But don't have to be! * i am a gay what should i do *

Article SummaryXIt might e as a b of a shock to fd out your bt iend is gay, but by supportg them and givg yourself time to get ed to , your iendship n be jt like was.

So, puttg out the box, you not beg heterosexual uld also mean that you’re homosexual, bisexual, asexual or even pansexual (a term that I jt learnt). " And while would be so nice to shake a magic 8 ball and get some clary here, 's actually ccial for you to e to the answer all on your are some thgs to keep md if you're thkg you might be gay:You're not you're thkg that you might be gay, then know that you have a whole built- support group of wonrful and diverse people who are jt wag to meet you.

SAVAGE LOVE: I AM A LONELY, AGG GAY MAN; WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Whether you are LGBTQ yourself or an ally, 's a near-certaty that you've crossed paths wh homophob. Homophobia manifts along a spectm; some people merely betray a d disfort toward the ia of gay love, while others let... * i am a gay what should i do *

Everyone is wele to the table, and you're bound to meet some pretty credible humans once you take a 's ok if you don't have 's a huge leap om "I feel a ltle different" to "I'm a mascule-of-center genrqueer gay woman. Read up on the difference between thgs like genr inty and sexual orientatn so you n get a better grasp of what's gog on your head and are a few other anizatns where you n fd supportive muni and so much more:The Trevor Project: A natnal anizatn providg crisis terventn and suici preventn servic to lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr and qutng (LGBTQ) young people ag 13-24.

It Gets Better Project: A nonprof anizatn wh a missn to uplift, empower, and nnect lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer youth around the Lifele: A non-prof dited to the well beg of transgenr to learn more about g out? Part of realizg you're gay, or bi, or trans, or non-bary, or anythg other than cisgenr and heterosexual is acceptg you’re different—and somewhat separated—om the majory.

At the time, there were no real gay role mols except for Graham Norton and Jack om Dawson's Creek—and I certaly didn't intify wh him bee I wasn't a football player. Addnally, a gay male therapist n spend time wh you talkg about shared gay muny norms, which n help you make cisns about what’s healthy for you and/or how you may want to modulate your behavr. Over the years I’ve worked wh gay male clients, I’ve found some men rentful of me based on ems that are important wh our muny: my succs, what I look like, my wardrobe, or—more signifintly—their assumptns about who I am based on their own projectns.

17 PIEC OF DATG ADVICE FOR GAY, BI, AND PANSEXUAL MEN

Here are some thgs to keep md if you're thkg you might be gay... * i am a gay what should i do *

Consirg seeg a therapist who isn’t gay n seem a ltle sry; gay men often make assumptns about a straight therapist’s level of fort wh the thgs the client wants to talk about. And fdg someone outsi of the gay muny who is fortable wh all aspects of a gay client’s life n be a profound and healg experience; I’ve often sent gay clients to non-gay therapists.

From my pot of view, 's tertg to explore the assumptns gay men have about straight therapists, and the assumptns they make about how therapists view them.

And sce we don’t live isolatn, a straight therapist n brg a perspective to the table that a gay therapist might not—they n speak out of their experience as a parent, for example. They might enter therapy for the first time wh a gay male therapist bee on some levels, as we’ve seen, the unrstandg of the gay muny may make seem easier to talk to a gay man. At other tim, perhaps later life, a gay client may choose a different, straight therapist based on other creria that are important to that particular moment.

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

Should a Christian attend the weddg of a gay uple? What factors should a Christian nsir if ved to attend a gay weddg? * i am a gay what should i do *

Even if a straight therapist has had few or no gay clients, they still might offer precisely what you need, and a rponse along the l of, “I haven’t had that many experienc, and maybe you’ll help me unrstand more” is actually pretty ial; you’ll both be engaged the procs.

Some would ntend that a Christian should have no qualms about attendg a gay weddg and that one’s prence at a gay weddg do not necsarily dite support for the homosexual liftyle.

I believe Rachel’s motivatn is to create a more welg and lovg environment the church for those who intify themselv as homosexuals, or who stggle wh homosexual sire. She seems to nvey that homosexual sir are not part of human brokenns, and that to pursue homosexual practic do not have any bearg on a person’s relatnship wh Christ.

I AM A GUY, AND I GET SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO OTHER MEN. AM I GAY?

Read “Mom, Dad… I’m Gay.” A Christian Parent’s Rponse by David Murray and more articl about Christian Life and Wiki on * i am a gay what should i do *

Send, Rachel seems to intify everyone who tak the view that homosexual sir are part of broken human sfulns, and that homosexual actns are s, as bulli.

I THK I MIGHT BE GAY OR BI OR TRANS OR QUEER. WHAT DO I DO?

Here s a real pastoral qutn to nsir What place nbsp is there for nbsp the gay person the Catholic church nbsp Wh the warng om the archdce of Washgton D C that would pull out of social servic the cy rather than acce to a bill that would afford benefs to same * i am a gay what should i do *

Sixth, if your son agre that homosexualy is sful, and he wants to have victory over the temptatns, then there are many Gospel promis you n enurage him wh. However, if he says that he believ homosexualy to be okay and he’s cid to pursue , then while assurg him of your ntued love and re, you mt lovgly warn him of the spirual and physil dangers of homosexualy.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY

Rather I’d want him to see himself as creature ma God’s image, a man wh many parts to his inty, a person wh many gifts, a son wh a diverse character and personaly, one part of which, at least for the moment, is to have a homosexual sir.

But I would ask his permissn to let the pastor know about his suatn bee I’d want to urge the pastor to greater sensivy towards those stgglg wh homosexualy. Like Rachel, I too have wced and crged as preachers have nmned homosexualy as if is an unfiveable abomatn that only weird and wicked people outsi of church stggled wh. Assumg that you haven’t been dwellg unr a homophobic rock for the past 20 years, you’ll know thatgay, bisexual, transgenr and other non- heterosexual people are beg creasgly fortable about owng their inti and “g out” legimacy of sexual orientatns (note: not “preferenc”) is a sealed chapter.

Therefore, a person don’t jt ci to be is important that you not e the word “ci”, as impli that you are accg your iend of optg to be gay, makg them feel like they are at flt for the societal opprsn they enunter. ”Pop star Calum Stt talked to about beg an advote for LGBTQ youth, and how he unwds4 “How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never kissed a (member of the oppose genr)? You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change.

IF YOU’RE GAY, SHOULD YOU SEE A GAY THERAPIST?

But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup.

Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to.

” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy. ”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

“Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy.

” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame. ”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay. Patrick Grzanka, Assistant Profsor of Psychology at Universy of Tennsee, for stance, has shown that some people who believe that homosexualy is nate still hold negative views of gays.

In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance. “It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists.

QUIZ: WHAT TYPE OF GAY AM I?

Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins. And when I published my say on choosg to be gay, an irate Amerin lbian activist wrote me that had “jt been nfirmed” to her that my wrg was “directly rponsible for four gay aths Rsia. There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected.

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure. The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors. ”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time.

SHOULD A CHRISTIAN ATTEND THE WEDDG OF A GAY UPLE?

” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way?

“MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE

Another landmark paper on the origs of homosexualy was published 1993 by a geicist named Dean Hamer, who was terted to learn whether homosexualy uld be hered. Begng om his observatn that there are more gay relativ on a mother’s si than a father’s, Hamer turned his attentn to the X chromosome (which is passed on by the mother).

Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at. ”The other problem wh Born This Way science is summed up nicely by Simon Copland: “Scientists are askg whether homosexualy is natural when we n’t even agree exactly what homosexualy is. ” Our sir may exprs themselv many different ways that do not all nform to existg notns of ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ is one of the bt takeaways of Ward’s Not Gay, a peratg analysis of sex between straight whe men.

”Gay or not, our sir are oriented and re-oriented throughout our liv (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In fact, the straight-intified men Ward studied for her book sometim found themselv suatns that sparked the sire for homosexual sex: aterni, ployments, public rtrooms, etc. Ward thks this qutn is the next ontier of queer I first said I chose to be gay, a queer Amerin journalist challenged me to name the time and date of my choice.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

I’m claimg that at some pot durg llege, my sexual and romantic sir beme reoriented toward menThkg back to my llege romanc wh women and men, I n beg to unrstand how my own experienc might have helped me to ‘cultivate’ my sire for homosexualy. I want to be very clear: I’m not claimg I simply began to ‘grow to’ my homosexualy, or that as I beme more fortable wh beg gay, I allowed myself the eedom to exprs what had always been latent wh me.

AM I GAY OR STRAIGHT? MAYBE THIS FUN QUIZ WILL TELL ME

“Limg our unrstandg of any plex human experience is always gog to be worse than allowg to be plited, ” he gay rights activists pared sexualy to relign - a ccial part of our life that we should be ee to practise however we like (Cred: Ignac Lehamann)So what are we to do wh the Born This Way rhetoric? “That’s a very narrow unrstandg of what jtice looks like, ” says about the ncern that homophob will want to ‘enurage’ gay people to be straight if there’s no blogil basis for sexualy? It don’t take too much creativy to image a scenar which homophobic parents, upon beg rmed their fet has ‘the gay gene’, choose what to them may seem the lser of two evils: abortn.

WHAT SHOULD A GAY CATHOLIC DO?

”Acrdg to surveys, ls than half of Generatn Z intify as "100% heterosexual", suggtg more and more people have embraced their sexual fluidy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Perhaps is time to look to the begng of the gay rights movement. “Then there was a shift, and the lears of the movement chose to jump on board wh a ls nuanced argument that people already unrstood: jt like race, people are born wh their homosexualy.

More than a third chose a number between one and rponse to the poll, one of my Facebook iends quipped about how natural selectn mt be workg overtime, what wh makg all of gay! I’m thankful for a new generatn that is pable of imagg sexualy a way that transcends the gay/straight bary, that uldn’t re ls about what happened to their bodi and mds to make them who they are today.

ONE OF MY STUNTS US ANTI-GAY SLURS AROUND ME

The olr I got, the ls nfint I felt how well I knew myself, and the more I looked outward for anythg that might provi retrospect, maybe I should have known who I was the first time I went lookg for a quiz lled “Am I gay?

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

I didn’t know I uld try somethg new before knowg I wanted and off throughout my 20s I had wished I were gay bee then I would have an explanatn for why men and me didn’t mix romantilly. C., that would pull out of social servic the cy rather than acce to a bill that would afford benefs to same-sex spo, a qutn, too long neglected, aris for the whole church: What is a gay Catholic supposed to do life?

If you accept the church's teachg on celibacy for gays, and feel a ll to enter a semary or relig orr, you nnot--even if you sire the celibate life. A gay layman I know who serv an important role a dce (and even wr some of his bishop's statements on social jtice) has a solid theologil tn and sir to serve the church, but fds impossible to be open the face of the bishop's repeated disparagg remarks about gays.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* I AM A GAY WHAT SHOULD I DO

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1rvucsk">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.25rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-1rvucsk exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>Am I Gay?<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 1fyfv5q">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.375rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-1fyfv5q exadjwu8"><p>Let's get real about sexualy.</p></div><style data-emotn="css 7lmlrx">{marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;} span{le-height:1.6;}</style><div class="css-7lmlrx exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css rkt8">{font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><addrs class="css-rkt8 ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css q8brce">{paddg-right:0.3125rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05em;text-transform:upperse;}</style><span class="css-q8brce ehvvd9m1"><style data-emotn="css 1sa04t">{borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;marg-right:0.3125rem;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Alison Caporimo" tle="Headshot of Alison Caporimo" width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/17433/alison-porimo/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Alison Caporimo</a></span><style data-emotn="css w0ebia">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-w0ebia exadjwu6">Updated: Jun 2, 2021</time></addrs></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - (1rem * 2));marg-left:1rem;marg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 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whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in</tle><sc>The triangle in that dit to play</sc><path d="M22 12 7 20.66V3.34L22 12Z"></path></svg></button><style data-emotn="css 157wciq">{width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;cursor:poter;}</style><style data-emotn="css g939jb">{width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;cursor:poter;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="preview for Is Virgy Even a Real Thg? | Seggs Ed wh Hayl | Seventeen" tle="Vio player poster image" width="2000" height="1000" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="e1f7ylgd5 css-g939jb exi4f7p0" /></div></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css z6i669">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-z6i669 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css 18vfmjb">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">"Am I gay?" It sounds like such a simple qutn, but fdg the answer n be so much trickier than you might thk. Why? Bee 's a qutn only you n answer. You n't ask a teacher or a parent or your bt iend or Google or even Seventeen and get a "y" or a "no." And while would be so nice to shake a magic 8 ball and get some clary here, 's actually ccial for you to e to the answer all on your own.</p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Here are some thgs to keep md if you're thkg you might be gay:</p><style data-emotn="css 10bmbge">{font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="2" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">You're not alone.</h2><p data-no-id="3" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">If you're thkg that you might be gay, then know that you have a whole built- support group of wonrful and diverse people who are jt wag to meet you. What's tly betiful about beg the LGBTQ muny is that is so expansive. It clus people of every race and relign. Your body n be any size and you n be gay. You n be disabled and be gay. Everyone is wele to the table, and you're bound to meet some pretty credible humans once you take a seat.</p><h2 data-no-id="5" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">It's ok if you don't have answers.</h2><p data-no-id="6" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">There's a huge leap om "I feel a ltle different" to "I'm a mascule-of-center genrqueer gay woman." I remember kissg girls high school, and then llege, but havg boyiends along the way. I kept wag to be h by some bolt of lighteng that would show me that I was unniably, 100%, totally, purely gay. But, tbh, the procs was a lot quieter than that. I kissed girls and I liked , but I still liked guys. And then I actually dated a girl, and I realized that felt the same as datg a guy but better. And then I thought, 'Huh. I mt be gay.' Jt like that. </p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="7" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css qsosw3">{borr:th solid #CDCDCD;marg-top:1.875rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;paddg:1.25rem;}</style><asi class="css-qsosw3 e6pr2lz5"><style data-emotn="css 1q3cish">{display:block;font-weight:bold;marg:0rem;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.05rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-1q3cish e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 8lle59">{max-width:lc(100% - 120px - .625rem);}</style><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Story</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css c4s2gi">{paddg:0rem;marg:0rem;list-style:none;}</style><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><style data-emotn="css 1uquqpo">{borr-bottom:none;lor:#000000;font-fay:GTWalsheim,Helveti,sans-serif;font-weight:bold;marg-bottom:0.3125rem;paddg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:1rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;}</style><li class="css-1uquqpo e6pr2lz2"><style data-emotn="css 1bn7a5e">{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webk-jtify-ntent:flex-start;jtify-ntent:flex-start;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><a href="/celebry/g27228640/bisexual-celebri/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="29 Celebri Who Have Come Out as Bisexual" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 1l0u1">{marg-right:0.625rem;height:to;}</style><img src="" alt="bisexual celebri" tle="29 Celebri Who Have Come Out as Bisexual" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">29 Celebri Who Have Come Out as Bisexual</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="8" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">And you know what? The world didn't end and I didn't feel like a totally different person — I jt felt like I had taken a small step towards who I tly am si. And that feels good. And ever sce that day, there have been a ln more steps as I've acquired more language to scribe myself and my inty. As long as you're listeng to yourself, you n't go wrong.</p><h2 data-no-id="9" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">Your feelgs might change, and they might not.</h2><p data-no-id="10" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Comg out for the first time n feel so fal, but 's actually not the end ('s jt the begng!). You're gog to e out so much the urse of your life ( llege, on dat, when you meet new people, etc.), and each time you do, you get to fe where you are wh your inty that moment.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="11" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><asi class="css-qsosw3 e6pr2lz5"><h6 class="css-1q3cish e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Story</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><li class="css-1uquqpo e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/g32577915/lgbtq-pri-flags/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Celebrate Pri Month Wh 21 LGBTQ+ Pri Flags" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="pri flags" tle="Celebrate Pri Month Wh 21 LGBTQ+ Pri Flags" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Celebrate Pri Month Wh 21 LGBTQ+ Pri Flags</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="12" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">And, while we're on the topic, cut yourself a ltle slack the g out partment, ok? Can you image if every feelg you had at the age of 12 beme somethg that was set stone? If that were te, you'd be a vet wh a purple race r and a bet full of Sour Patch kids wonrg how you got to this pot your life. Thgs change and evolve as you grow, and that's 100% ok. What your sexual orientatn or genr inty feels like today might not be how will feel 1 year or 10 years. Don't punish yourself for dog the legwork to figure out who you are.</p><h2 data-no-id="13" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">Your safety first.</h2><p data-no-id="14" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Your safety means everythg, and sometim beg out might make you feel like a target. If 's ever unsafe for you to be out, take that to nsiratn. You're not beg unte to yourself if you are a suatn where self-prervatn is necsary. There will always be time to e out. If you feel unsafe, 's perfectly fe to wa out.</p><h2 data-no-id="15" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">Brg queer voic to your life.</h2><p data-no-id="16" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Comg out n feel very lonely at first. If you fd that you're not a posn to e out publicly and you feel isolated as a rult of that, try to rporate queer voic to your private life. For example, listen to podsts like <style data-emotn="css lec2h6">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;background-image:lear-gradient( to bottom, rgba(241, 220, 225, 1), rgba(241, 220, 225, 1));-webk-background-posn:0 100%;background-posn:0 100%;background-repeat:repeat-x;-webk-background-size:0 0;background-size:0 0;paddg-top:0.05rem;paddg-bottom:0.05rem;}{lor:#000000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;-webk-background-size:.625rem 3.125rem;background-size:.625rem 3.125rem;}</style><a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Nancy" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">Nancy</a> and fd iendship credible hosts who provi sight to issu and ias that are important to you. Read a book that highlights a dimensnal queer narrative (you n fd a list of them <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="here" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">here</a>) and bge-watch <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="TV shows that feature pellg LGBTQ characters" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">TV shows that feature pellg LGBTQ characters</a>. Queer culture is a thg of bety. Dig to !</p><h2 data-no-id="17" class="body-h4 css-10bmbge et3p2gv0">Know where you n go to get support.</h2><p data-no-id="18" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">You might be wonrg if you're gay, but you don't have anyone your life to turn to wh qutns and ncerns. Fret not, iend. There are so many credible rourc where you n fd support. For one, check out <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="GLAAD" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">GLAAD</a>, the world’s largt LGBTQ media advocy anizatn, to fd out how you n get volved your muny. Also, take a look at their <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="glossary of terms" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">glossary of terms</a>. As we all know, 's so hard to scribe what you're feelg when you don't have the language to pture . Read up on the difference between thgs like <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="genr inty and sexual orientatn" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">genr inty and sexual orientatn</a> so you n get a better grasp of what's gog on your head and heart.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="19" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><asi class="css-qsosw3 e6pr2lz5"><h6 class="css-1q3cish e6pr2lz3"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Story</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><li class="css-1uquqpo e6pr2lz2"><a href="/life/a36557260/trans-nonbary-teens-genrol-kids-book-pri-2021/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="What We Know About A Kids Book About x GenrCool " data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><img src="" alt="genrol bundle books a kids book about pri lgbtq clive transgenr nonbary" tle="What We Know About A Kids Book About x GenrCool " width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">What We Know About A Kids Book About x GenrCool </span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="20" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Here are a few other anizatns where you n fd supportive muni and so much more:</p><style data-emotn="css 1rk79nl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;marg:0.9375rem 0 0 0.625rem;paddg:0 0 0 1.25rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:0.9375rem 0;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-style:alic;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;} li{paddg-bottom:0.625rem;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} li::marker{lor:#323232;}</style><ul data-no-id="21" class="css-1rk79nl et3p2gv0"><li><a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="The Trevor Project" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">The Trevor Project</a>: A natnal anizatn providg crisis terventn and suici preventn servic to lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr and qutng (LGBTQ) young people ag 13-24.</li><li> <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="It Gets Better Project" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">It Gets Better Project</a>: A nonprof anizatn wh a missn to uplift, empower, and nnect lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer youth around the globe.</li><li><a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Trans Lifele" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">Trans Lifele</a>: A non-prof dited to the well beg of transgenr people.</li></ul><p data-no-id="22" class="css-18vfmjb et3p2gv0">Want to learn more about g out? Watch this vio below and follow Seventeen's LGBTQ-foced social channel <em>Here</em> on <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Facebook" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">Facebook</a> and <a href=" data-href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Instagram" class="body-lk css-lec2h6 et3p2gv0">Instagram</a>.</p><style data-emotn="css 1v2eakg">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:90%;}}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:95%;}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:75%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:65%;}}</style><div data-no-id="23" data-teractive="VioPlayer-1" class="embed aspect-rat-16x9 css-1v2eakg e3dq3y0"><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in .

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