What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?
• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH
• THE DAY I MET A ‘GAY NVERSN THERAPIST’
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• ‘EX-GAY’ MEN FIGHT BACK AGAST VIEW THAT HOMOSEXUALY CAN’T BE CHANGED
• OVERG THE SHAME OF BEG GAY
• “WHY DON’T GOD ANSWER PRAYERS TO TAKE AWAY GAY FEELGS?”
• KEV SPACEY FELT ‘PRSURED TO E OUT AS GAY’ AFTER SEXUAL MISNDUCT ALLEGATNS
• 17 RIGHTFUL WAYS ON HOW TO CURE BEG GAY ISLAM
• STOP SAYG “THAT’S SO GAY!”: 6 TYP OF MICROAGGRSNS THAT HARM LGBTQ PEOPLE
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• “THE DAY I DECID TO STOP BEG GAY”
• HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

Disregardg all evince that the ex-gay movement is credibly damagg to more than 90% of those who unrgo "treatment" (bee they clearly jt didn't believe God enough), Settg Captiv Free wants you to know that you were not "born this way.

" Homosexualy is a s that you need to purge om your system, and the only way to do is to follow their three-parts-a-day the app is only downloadable om Google Play (iTun and the 69, 822+ people who petned them don't believe nversn therapy for some reason), there is an abridged versn available on the mistry’s webse.

CAN PEOPLE STOP BEG GAY?

Change For the Right Reasons (the Glory Of God): After all, homosexualy is nothg but "lt, porn, and sexual immoraly, " ss that are applible only to gay people and never to straight on.

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

Realize That Beg Homosexual Mak You Feel Alone Fet that we told you to shut yourself away om most of the world, and ignore the ia that maybe gay people feel so alone bee of the discrimatory and hateful attus that they face, helped by people like .

The oppose mp argu that gays are "born that way, " and th that sexual reorientatn therapy is effective, as well as cel and the latter perspective hs closer to the mark, the science of sexualy supports a more measured stance.

There are no verified s of formerly gay people pletely riddg themselv of same-sex attractn, but do appear possible for some people who are predisposed to same-sex attractn to expand their sexual repertoire — velop attractns for oppose-sex partners as well, and even opt for the oppose sex exclively.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

As Diamond noted January the Archiv of Sexual Behavr, femal' sexual fluidy may emerge om the fdg that, across the board, they are sexually aroed by imag of both men and women (whereas men are typilly aroed only by members of their preferred sex) erotic plasticy may expla why women wh same-sex predisposns report better succs adjtg to heterosexual liftyl than gay men do. Sexual orientatn cements around puberty, and acrdg to Gelf Rieger, a sexual orientatn rearcher at Cornell Universy, " is que possible that there are several fluenc on formg a homosexual orientatn.

" If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet?

So-lled genome-wi associatn studi intified a gene lled SLITRK6, which is active a bra regn lled the diencephalon that differs size between people who are homosexual or heterosexual. While there is no sgle “gay gene, ” there is overwhelmg evince of a blogil basis for sexual orientatn that is programmed to the bra before birth based on a mix of geics and prenatal ndns, none of which the fet choos. They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do.

THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

"The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement. 6)START AFRESH:-Remove Yourself From Anythg Even Remotely Gay:Don’t watch porn (aga, ’s only a gay thg), don’t go on gay webs, and most of all, certaly don’t associate wh gay people.

Any of those thgs might make you feel like your homosexualy is a natural part of your inty and n be accepted by those around need, relote yourself to a new place and start ah. Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight. The laws the Bible were maly for health purpos - shunng homosexualy is right next to not gettg tattoos, not eatg pork, and not wearg mixed lens, but you n bet your bottom dollar all your neighbors do those thgs.

Article SummaryXIf you stggle wh acceptg your attractn to the same sex, know that beg gay is pletely normal and you n be proud of who you are by fdg support and embracg your dividualy.

THE DAY I MET A ‘GAY NVERSN THERAPIST’

I'm an out gay man, a edian, I -host the UK's biggt LGBTQ+ podst and regularly chat about sexualy and equaly both on TV, on stage and to our ternatnal podst dience - but I remember a moment when a 13-year-old me was ls nfint. We're nstantly hearg theori as to why LGBTQ+ people exist and at 13, surround by straight people, our predomantly heterosexual pla sowed a seed of doubt and shame my md about beg gay.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

I know I'm here as a reporter but I'm vulnerable - this is all so July 2018, the UK ernment published an LGBT Actn Plan which says wants to ban "harmful" gay nversn therapy across the UK. "It n be really tough to grow up as a gay kid and if someone me to you when you're feelg at your worst, g to terms wh who you are, and said, 'I have this magic wand that will make you better, do you want me to wave ? Former Christian sger Vicky Beechg spent most of her life tryg to supprs her own attractn to women and tried var forms of gay nversn therapy, om prayer and exorcisms to talkg therapy.

‘EX-GAY’ MEN FIGHT BACK AGAST VIEW THAT HOMOSEXUALY CAN’T BE CHANGED

In the r, I listen to Gloria GameThe founr of one of the US's biggt nversn therapy programm, McKrae Game, me out as gay earlier this year, and apologised for harmg generatns of stgglg to supprs his own homosexualy, Game found his Tth Mistry 1999, Spartanburg, South Carola, rebrandg 2013 as Hope for Wholens. Seventeen US stat have banned gay nversn therapy - most recently Mae, which took the step May this 's Sunday, and I meet Josh and his granny, Marie Hodgen, outsi All Souls Church Belfast.

Internalized homophobia -- self-shamg, self-hatred -- leads many gay men, and many queer people general, to recreate their closets long after they're "out" by shunng others, particularly those they nsir "flamboyant. This parable piece by lbian wrer Sarah Prager go through the lp of great gays who changed the world -- om ventor Alan Turg to Tchaikovsky, the poser, to the Renaissance pater and ventor Leonardo da Vci. There would be no ternalized self-hatred if no one had ever told you that beg gay is wrong, or that gay sex is disgtg, or that gay men n't feel real love, or that beg transgenr is fake, or that beg nonbary is a mental illns or a ll for attentn.

OVERG THE SHAME OF BEG GAY

If you thk a word like "gay" or "queer" works for you right now (aga, don't have to work for you forever -- labels do not e wh lifetime ntracts) and you're not ready to tell everyone, simply say out loud to yourself. Article SummaryXIn today’s society, n be hard to filter out hateful ias about people who are different, but wh some practice, you’ll be able to change your habs and stop beg homophobic.

“WHY DON’T GOD ANSWER PRAYERS TO TAKE AWAY GAY FEELGS?”

Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups. The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. Their persistence has led to a cultural change – some TV works now bleep the word jt like other curse folks still ll LGBT people “fags” or scribe somethg they fd stupid or distasteful as “gay.

KEV SPACEY FELT ‘PRSURED TO E OUT AS GAY’ AFTER SEXUAL MISNDUCT ALLEGATNS

Also, if your parents are extremely homophobic, you may need to take preutns to protect your own emotnal well-beg and ensure you will still have a home and fancial support spe their beliefs. He spent 17 years a doomed marriage while battlg his urg all day, he said, and dreamg about them all recent years, as he probed his childhood unselg and at men’s weekend retreats wh nam like People Can Change and Journey Into Manhood, “my homosexual feelgs have nearly vanished, ” Mr. Smh is one of thoands of men across the untry, often known as “ex-gay, ” who believe they have changed their most basic sexual sir through some batn of therapy and prayer — somethg most scientists say has never been proved possible and is likely an men are often closeted, fearg ridicule om gay advot who acce them of self-ceptn and, at the same time, fearg rejectn by their church muni as tated oddi.

”But many ex-gays have ntued to seek help om such therapists and men’s retreats, sayg their own experience is proof enough that the treatment n Bzer, 35, was so angered by the California ban, which will take effect on Jan.

17 RIGHTFUL WAYS ON HOW TO CURE BEG GAY ISLAM

He was tormented as a Christian teenager by his homosexual attractns, but now, after men’s retreats and an onle urse of reparative therapy, he says he feels glimmers of attractn for women and is thkg about datg. Bzer, who plans to seek a doctorate psychology and bee a therapist ex-gays guard their secret but quietly meet support groups around the untry, sharg ias on how to avoid temptatns or, perhaps, broach their past wh a female date.

The theori, which have also been adopted by nservative relig opponents of gay marriage, hold that male homosexualy emerg om fay dynamics — often a distant father and an overbearg mother — or om early sexual abe. Spzer, publicly repudiated as valid his own 2001 study suggtg that some people uld change their sexual orientatn; the study had been wily ced by fenrs of the this summer, the ex-gay world was nvulsed when Alan Chambers, the print of Exod Internatnal, the largt Christian mistry for people fightg same-sex attractn, said he did not believe anyone uld be rid of homosexual Nilosi, a psychologist and clil director of the Thomas Aquas Psychologil Clic Enco, Calif., which he scrib as the largt reparative therapy clic the world, disagreed. “I believe that all people are heterosexual but that some have a homosexual problem, and some of the people attempt to rolve their nflict by adoptg a socpolil label lled ‘gay.

STOP SAYG “THAT’S SO GAY!”: 6 TYP OF MICROAGGRSNS THAT HARM LGBTQ PEOPLE

Jeremy, who did not want his last name prted to avoid embarrassg his parents, said that om his teens until three years ago he lived as a gay man, at tim havg sex almost daily. Crics like Wayne Ben, the executive director of Tth Ws Out, which fights antigay bias, liken such therapy to fah healg, wh apparent effects that later fa also pot out that the failur of such therapy are seldom reported.

Swaim is unemployed and liv wh his parents Orange County, Calif., where his father is a pastor of the Evangelil Friends Church of the tried the gay life, but “ jt don’t settle wh me, ” he said, and ultimately cid “there’s got to be a way to heal this afflictn. I also have ught myself on very few ocsns when I was younger (not so much now thankfully) when tellg someone ‘I am gay’ I would say a quieter tone so as not to draw attentn. So om then on I answered hontly and tell them before they asked me that y, I was datg this great guy and the embarrassed feelgs would subsi and I would feel more a kid growg up Mayo the early 1980’s I heard the term gay beg ed but always a negative manner.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

I never talked about girls, didn’t follow an English football team, talked more to girls as I felt more relaxed around them as they were not llg me gay, queer, homo, well at the begng they didn’t. Even up to my early 20’s as I spoke to people about beg gay I would say if someone offered me a tablet to be straight I would take two so I uld be like the rt of the lads out there, to f , to fa to the background, to be one of the mak me feel ls than, not good enough, not handsome enough, not smart enough. I thank God today for makg me the person I am now, I was meant to be a gay man livg this betiful yet plex world and now I am embracg my differenc, my quirks, the quali that make me who I am.

I know right now you might thk this is so huge but you have so many other great quali that make you who you are and beg gay is jt one of someone did have a tablet that uld turn me om gay to straight, I would take that tablet and flg so damn far away.

“THE DAY I DECID TO STOP BEG GAY”

This is an article for another day, but so many of ternalise this shame when we never we n be is te to ourselv, rpect others and most importantly rpect and love ourselv, and then we n make posive chang this betiful yet plex world of rmatn BeLonG To is the natnal anisatn for Lbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgenred (LGBT) young people, aged between 14 and 23 – Contact for more you need help please talk to iends, fay, a GP, therapist or one of the ee nfintial helple servic. I was readg your article about Gay Teen Suicis and Bullyg, about how some people pray and pray for God to take away their gay feelgs and there is a reason that he don’t that they don’t know about. No one is born gay; we are such plex creatur, beg ma the image of God, that feelgs, attus and beliefs are shaped over time by our life experienc, and filtered through our temperaments.

She is a equent speaker for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and Stonecroft Mistri (Christian Women's Connectns), and serv on the board of Livg Hope Mistri, a Christ-centered outreach to those alg wh unwanted homosexualy.

HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS

He told jurors he had been ‘prsured’ to e out as gay (Picture: EPA)At the time of the allegatns, Spacey had issued a statement g out as gaywhich he said ‘upset’ the LGBTQ+ muny. Through his anizatn, Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy, he ed psychoanalysis, which volved a number of c psychologil methods, to try to replace homosexual sir wh heterosexual on. Durg the boy’s first ssn, the so-lled therapist attempted to brawash Sam by fillg his head wh this type of garbage: “I want you to know that you’re gay, and all gay people have AIDS.

Acrdg to several Mlim scholars, cludg Abu Bakr As Shiddiq, ‘Ali ibn Abi Thalib, Khalid ibn al Walid, ‘Abdulah ibn al Zubayr, ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbaas, Ishaaq ibn Raahawayh, and Imam Ahmad, gay is one of the biggt a Mlim uld have ever done, so that the punishment should be a lot severe than those who m adultery.