What’s the right way to ask whether someone is gay? - Columbia Journalism Review

Contents:

• HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE GAY, STRAIGHT, OR SOMETHG BETWEEN?
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• LONGEST GAY TEST!
• AM I GAY? QUIZ – 100% RELIABLE TT
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• I’M GAY, BUT I’M AAID TO E OUT. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
• THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH
• “HELP! I’M A GAY CHRISTIAN”
• I AM GAY AND I'M LOVE WH A STRAIGHT, WHAT N I DO?
• HOW TO BEHAVE AROUND GAY PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT THEM
• BEG GAY AND HAVG A ROOMMATE, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
• WHAT’S THE RIGHT WAY TO ASK WHETHER SOMEONE IS GAY?
• ‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’
• I THK I AM GAY AND I NEED HELP TO CONVERT TO HETEROSEXUAL?
• MY SPOE ME OUT AS GAY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE GAY, STRAIGHT, OR SOMETHG BETWEEN?

In a society where most of are expected to be straight, n be difficult to take a step back and ask whether you’re gay, straight, or somethg ’re the only person who n figure out what your orientatn tly is.

You don’t have to fulfill certa “creria” to qualify as gay, straight, bisexual, or anythg is an aspect of your inty, not a job applitn — and you n intify wh whatever term fs you!

” Plenty of people thought they were one thg for the first half of their life, only to fd that wasn’t ’s also possible to thk you’re gay when you’re actually bi, or thk you’re bi when you’re actually gay, for example. Keep md that even if you have a sexual experience wh someone of the same genr or another genr, that don’t necsarily mean that you’re gay. That means, for example, that you n be transgenr but also straight (for stance, you might intify as a woman and feel attracted to men) or gay (e.g., if you intify as a woman and are attracted to other women).

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed.

When down to , there is no reliable "Am I Gay tt", so the only way to know that you are gay (fn of gay) is to look wh yourself to terme your own thoughts and feelgs towards others of the same sex. Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr.

LONGEST GAY TEST!

Even if some of the wilst adventur wh your girliend don’t exce you and the image of another man shirtls or a naked photo exc you to the re, then there are chanc that you might be gay.

AM I GAY? QUIZ – 100% RELIABLE TT

I pray and fast regularly, i am straight but the problem is that i am homosexual, i first was thkg of my father, i thk i beme homosexual geilly, i see ually bad pictur, but i want to give up, i never done any sex my life, i really am aaid of god, and i always pray for him to help me. For the harm ed by fallg to this great s is not limed to punishment the Hereafter, rather go beyond that and a part of the punishment may happen this world; even if is nothg more than the regret and feelgs of guilt that rult om , that is enough, so how about if that is acpanied by curable fatal diseas which the doctors are agreed are wispread among homosexuals and are ed by the perverted practic? While g out — tellg people you’re gay — n be a great experience for teens who have support om their fai and muni, sounds like you may not have this kd of acceptance.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

In the meantime, the webse OutProud has rmatn, rourc, and support for lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr teens who are g out or thkg of g out.

There was a recent high profile story the news about an 11-year-old boy who mted suici, apparently bee he uld no longer tolerate beg lled “gay. In addn, sexual orientatn is not jt about who you have feelgs for, 's also about how you thk of yourself (as, straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, or somethg else), and how you actually behave.

The world tells you that you have two choic: Accept that you’re gay and fd a way to be a gay Christian even though the Bible says not to, or be alone and lonely forever. I thk that the reason gay people are so much pa isn’t bee the world hat gays and is homophobic, which is the polilly rrect explanatn you get the days, but ’s bee somethg went wrong and ’s paful not to be able to relate rrectly and healthily to people of the oppose sex. She is a equent speaker for MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) and Stonecroft Mistri (Christian Women's Connectns), and serv on the board of Livg Hope Mistri, a Christ-centered outreach to those alg wh unwanted homosexualy.

I’M GAY, BUT I’M AAID TO E OUT. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Those lov are like fallg love wh a teacher, or a straight fallg love wh a gay, or fallg love wh a married person, or fallg love wh a sger or an actor. But you need to know that if the person dont want to do somethg wh you, you need to pass no matter have to rpect that the person you like is straight jt like how he rpect and accept you beg Gay. J suggts that some men are "born nuchs, " an ancient term for beg gay, that the people are part of God's natural orr, and heterosexual marriage is not the right path for everyone.

THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

In some s, this might perta to their relig beliefs, but you might also unver a eper, or more personal reason that they are agast gay people. Also, if your parents are extremely homophobic, you may need to take preutns to protect your own emotnal well-beg and ensure you will still have a home and fancial support spe their beliefs. Homophobia manifts along a spectm; some people merely betray a d disfort toward the ia of gay love, while others let their tolerance rry them to acts of verbal or physil abe.

" Often, when someone gets their words put back to their fac, they will back off – or at least see how you're terpretg what they said as homophobia.

“HELP! I’M A GAY CHRISTIAN”

Article SummaryXIf you have to al wh homophob, first remd yourself that there's nothg wrong wh lovg someone of the same genr and that you don't have to engage wh people who treat you this way. Instead of givg a homophobic bully the reactn they want, for example, you uld walk away or ask a supervisor, like a school unselor or HR manager, to step . You n't ask a teacher or a parent or your bt iend or Google or even Seventeen and get a "y" or a "no." And while would be so nice to shake a magic 8 ball and get some clary here, 's actually ccial for you to e to the answer all on your own.Here are some thgs to keep md if you're thkg you might be gay:You're not alone.If you're thkg that you might be gay, then know that you have a whole built- support group of wonrful and diverse people who are jt wag to meet you.

I AM GAY AND I'M LOVE WH A STRAIGHT, WHAT N I DO?

Everyone is wele to the table, and you're bound to meet some pretty credible humans once you take a seat.It's ok if you don't have answers.There's a huge leap om "I feel a ltle different" to "I'm a mascule-of-center genrqueer gay woman." I remember kissg girls high school, and then llege, but havg boyiends along the way. Dig to !Know where you n go to get support.You might be wonrg if you're gay, but you don't have anyone your life to turn to wh qutns and ncerns. Read up on the difference between thgs like genr inty and sexual orientatn so you n get a better grasp of what's gog on your head and heart.Here are a few other anizatns where you n fd supportive muni and so much more:The Trevor Project: A natnal anizatn providg crisis terventn and suici preventn servic to lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr and qutng (LGBTQ) young people ag 13-24.

It Gets Better Project: A nonprof anizatn wh a missn to uplift, empower, and nnect lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer youth around the globe.Trans Lifele: A non-prof dited to the well beg of transgenr people.Want to learn more about g out?

HOW TO BEHAVE AROUND GAY PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT THEM

It is not jt the nventnally forbidn “gay” qutn, but the media’s approach to privacy general, s ambiguy over how to appropriately e social media as a reportg tool, and s vague ame for evaluatg what the standard for “objective” ought to be.

Steven Petrow, a lumnist for The Washgton Post and former print of the Natnal Lbian and Gay Journalist Associatn, says, “For all too long, journalists have thought that qutns about someone’s sexual orientatn were off the grid—not to do so renrs LGBT people visible, which has other nsequenc, too. That's a term ed to scribe a person's physil and romantic attractn to other tak a look at what means to be lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr.

Dpe the prejudice some gay people may experience, most people say they felt relieved, happy, and more nfint after they me md, g out don't mean tellg everyone you know that you are gay.

BEG GAY AND HAVG A ROOMMATE, WHAT SHOULD I DO?

If your parents ntue to have a hard time acceptg your homosexualy or genr inty, anizatns such as Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG) are available to the past, people today are more acceptg of differenc, particularly homosexualy.

—and we n sometim sense early on that somethg about our ternal experience feels the fifth gra, when a iend of me sneered that I was gay as an sult, I thought maybe I had land on a name for what I felt. Eventually, this led me the oppose directn of what you might assume: My sexual boredom and sometim even disgt wh the men I dated led me to believe I was, and always had been, super gay after, my early 20s, I threw myself a new directn and got eply volved my lol queer muny. I tried donng a “homoflexible” label for a few years, but two boyiends later I had to s back and take a good look at my inty and why my perceptn of kept shiftg seemgly so I didn’t unrstand as I tried on the different labels was that isn’t simply our behavr that dictat who we are.

WHAT’S THE RIGHT WAY TO ASK WHETHER SOMEONE IS GAY?

A gay person is someone who is attracted to people of their same genr, and the term is often ed to scribe men who are attracted to other men.

Jt for funI'm spic that I may be gayI've never had a csh on anyone, and am unsure where I lie on the spectm of sexualyWhat would your ial partner be if you two are gog to spend a week on an island?

Havg sex wh the person I love mostCuddlg wh the person I love mostJt beg next to the person I love mostHangg out wh iends / beg aloneHow would you feel if your bt iend me out as gay? You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change. I me out at a nservative Christian llege the US and was a gay relatnship for around two years wh a basketball player who end up marryg a woman.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

Well, you mt have been gay the whole time, some might thk, and bee of some relig shame, you cid to lie to yourself and experiment wh a girl. But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup.

I THK I AM GAY AND I NEED HELP TO CONVERT TO HETEROSEXUAL?

Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to.

MY SPOE ME OUT AS GAY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy. ”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns.