What’s the right way to ask whether someone is gay? - Columbia Journalism Review

Contents:

• I ASKED GUYS WHEN THEY FIRST KNEW THEY WERE GAY
• IF I WAS GAYANDREAS WIJKPRODUCED BYANDREAS WIJK & CARL-PHILIP STRöMNOV. 11, 20221 VIEWER1 CONTRIBUTORIF I WAS GAY LYRICS[VERSE 1]IF I WAS GAY, WOULD I BEWHAT THEY SAY, JT A STEREOTYPE?IF I WAS GAY, HOW DO I GET TO HEAVENWHEN THERE'S "NO CHURCH  THE WILD"?[PRE-CHOS]TRIED TO BE HONTBUT HONTLY I N'TNO, I N'TIF LOVE IS THE SAMEWHY IS THIS NOT THE SAME THG?THE SAME THG[CHOS]I'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYWOULD I LIKE THE WAY FEELS?PICTURG HIS FACE, AND I LOSE A PIECE OF MEPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEELI'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYI'VE BEEN TRYG TO F KEPT A NDLE BURNG, A LAMP UNTO MY FEETPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEELYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE[VERSE 2]IF I WAS GAY, THERE WOULD BE NO IENDS LEFTAND I DON'T WANT THATIF I WAS GAY, MY MUM AND DAD WOULD TREAT MEAND I N'T HANDLE THAT SH[PRE-CHOS]TRIED TO BE HONTBUT HONTLY I N'TNO, I N'TIF LOVE IS THE SAMEWHY IS THIS NOT THE SAME THG?THE SAME THG[CHOS]I'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYWOULD I LIKE THE WAY FEELS?PICTURG HIS FACE, AND I LOSE A PIECE OF MEPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEELI'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYI'VE BEEN TRYG TO F KEPT A NDLE BURNG, A LAMP UNTO MY FEETPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEEL[BRIDGE]ALL THE TIME I'VE WASTEDTRYG TO REPLACETHE PART OF MYSELF THAT WAS KEEPG ME STRAIGHTIT JT MA ME A PRODUCT OF SO WHERE DO I F ?NOTHG N REPLACETHE SRS ON MY BODYCAN'T TALK TO NOBODY, I'M NUMB[CHOS]I'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYWOULD I LIKE THE WAY FEELS?PICTURG HIS FACE, AND I LOSE A PIECE OF MEPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEELEMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTHAVE THE SI SOP ON THIS SONG?SIGN UP AND DROP SOME KNOWLEDGESTART THE SONG BASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHO PRODUCED “IF I WAS GAY” BY ANDREAS WIJK?WHEN DID ANDREAS WIJK RELEASE “IF I WAS GAY”?WHO WROTE “IF I WAS GAY” BY ANDREAS WIJK?CREDSPRODUCED BYANDREAS WIJK & CARL-PHILIP STRöMWRTEN BYANDREAS WIJK & CARL-PHILIP STRöMRELEASE DATENOVEMBER 11, 2022TAGSPOPEXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE
• SHE ASKED ME IF I WAS GAY?
• WHAT DO MEAN IF A GIRL ASKS IF I AM GAY (PLEASE READ)
• WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE GAY?
• WHAT’S THE RIGHT WAY TO ASK WHETHER SOMEONE IS GAY?

I ASKED GUYS WHEN THEY FIRST KNEW THEY WERE GAY

It’s not until outsi factors like high school social prsure, relig tolerance and systemic homophobia e to play that the young people are led to believe those feelgs aren’t normal. I talked to a few of my gay iends about their experienc realizg they were attracted to men, if anyone had explaed homosexualy to them growg up and whether or not at any time they were nvced that beg gay was “wrong.

“I had no ia what beg gay was. I want to say around nth or tenth gra was when I started realizg I was gay. “There was never really a time that I thought beg gay was herently wrong.

IF I WAS GAYANDREAS WIJKPRODUCED BYANDREAS WIJK & CARL-PHILIP STRöMNOV. 11, 20221 VIEWER1 CONTRIBUTORIF I WAS GAY LYRICS[VERSE 1]IF I WAS GAY, WOULD I BEWHAT THEY SAY, JT A STEREOTYPE?IF I WAS GAY, HOW DO I GET TO HEAVENWHEN THERE'S "NO CHURCH  THE WILD"?[PRE-CHOS]TRIED TO BE HONTBUT HONTLY I N'TNO, I N'TIF LOVE IS THE SAMEWHY IS THIS NOT THE SAME THG?THE SAME THG[CHOS]I'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYWOULD I LIKE THE WAY FEELS?PICTURG HIS FACE, AND I LOSE A PIECE OF MEPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEELI'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYI'VE BEEN TRYG TO F KEPT A NDLE BURNG, A LAMP UNTO MY FEETPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEELYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE[VERSE 2]IF I WAS GAY, THERE WOULD BE NO IENDS LEFTAND I DON'T WANT THATIF I WAS GAY, MY MUM AND DAD WOULD TREAT MEAND I N'T HANDLE THAT SH[PRE-CHOS]TRIED TO BE HONTBUT HONTLY I N'TNO, I N'TIF LOVE IS THE SAMEWHY IS THIS NOT THE SAME THG?THE SAME THG[CHOS]I'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYWOULD I LIKE THE WAY FEELS?PICTURG HIS FACE, AND I LOSE A PIECE OF MEPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEELI'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYI'VE BEEN TRYG TO F KEPT A NDLE BURNG, A LAMP UNTO MY FEETPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEEL[BRIDGE]ALL THE TIME I'VE WASTEDTRYG TO REPLACETHE PART OF MYSELF THAT WAS KEEPG ME STRAIGHTIT JT MA ME A PRODUCT OF SO WHERE DO I F ?NOTHG N REPLACETHE SRS ON MY BODYCAN'T TALK TO NOBODY, I'M NUMB[CHOS]I'VE NEVER KISSED A BOYWOULD I LIKE THE WAY FEELS?PICTURG HIS FACE, AND I LOSE A PIECE OF MEPLAY ME ALL THE CLASSIC LOVE SONGS ON REPEATNONE OF THEM TALK ABOUT WHAT I FEELEMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTHAVE THE SI SOP ON THIS SONG?SIGN UP AND DROP SOME KNOWLEDGESTART THE SONG BASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHO PRODUCED “IF I WAS GAY” BY ANDREAS WIJK?WHEN DID ANDREAS WIJK RELEASE “IF I WAS GAY”?WHO WROTE “IF I WAS GAY” BY ANDREAS WIJK?CREDSPRODUCED BYANDREAS WIJK & CARL-PHILIP STRöMWRTEN BYANDREAS WIJK & CARL-PHILIP STRöMRELEASE DATENOVEMBER 11, 2022TAGSPOPEXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE

So yeah, I pretty much grew up thkg beg gay was wrong.

SHE ASKED ME IF I WAS GAY?

“I remember someone askg me fifth gra if I was gay and I said ‘y. I thk of beg gay, at least for me, as a spectm. I would say I’m like 80% gay.

“No one really explaed to me the ncept of homosexualy. I pretty much learned what meant to be gay through different social teractns wh kids at school or fay members who ma seem as if were bad or not ‘normal.

“When I was younger, people’s attus toward gay people were negative, so that fely hred me om beg myself at tim. I me to learn that my sometim-effemate behavr would lead others to know or thk I was gay.

WHAT DO MEAN IF A GIRL ASKS IF I AM GAY (PLEASE READ)

Overhearg the word ‘faggot’ thrown around by my classmat and fay members suggted to me that people didn’t like gay people, so I spent a lot of my childhood the ‘closet. “I kd of knew what beg gay was, but all I knew was that people were bullied for , and that, apparently, the Bible said was wrong. I refed to believe that God would make anyone gay.

People at church nvced me that was a choice, and actually ma me very homophobic bee I was so eaked out that another gay guys would thk I was gay and somehow out me, even though I was nvced at the time that I was straight. “Everythg I learned about beg gay was om my experienc middle school where everyone ma seem terrible and mocked you for . Beg gay is actually a ma reason that I’m no longer Christian.

The way that I treated myself and others out of fear of what the Bible ‘apparently’ said was disgtg, and I have seen other gay Christians do to me.

WHEN DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE GAY?

Beg asked if I was gay was my biggt fear, so I lied about all the time.

WHAT’S THE RIGHT WAY TO ASK WHETHER SOMEONE IS GAY?

It was dismissive at the very bt and seargly homophobic at worst.

In gra ne, I allowed myself to like a boy my gra who I was certa was also gay.