Straight Women and Their Gay Hbands | Psychology Today

Contents:

• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• CAN A PERSON BE GAY AND STILL BE A CHRISTIAN?
• CAN YOU BE GAY AND CHRISTIAN?
• THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH
• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• SUPREME COURT L WORKERS N'T BE FIRED FOR BEG GAY OR TRANSGENR

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

McCoy for The New York TimHis Sexualy Don’t Defe Him, but It Can Set Him ApartEric Bach is an openly gay broadster for the Frericksburg Natnals. Three years earlier, while he was studyg journalism at Michigan State Universy, he had publicly e out as gay an say he wrote for the time of the say, he braced for a backlash, but nothg materialized. He worked his way up om ternships to full-time broadstg jobs, and while anyone wh an ter nnectn uld learn he was gay, nobody asked, and he did not say so aga publicly.

It was paful at the time — the worst thg that had happened to him as a gay man, he said — but has reced far enough to his memory that did not e to md an hourlong terview about his experienc as a gay broadster.

As far as Bach knows — and as far as many of his unterparts wh other teams are aware — there are no other openly gay broadsters the sport. McCoy for The New York TimBorn to BroadstLong before he knew he was gay, Bach knew he wanted to be a sports father was a ach, and a love of sports ran through the fay. ”)He began to accept that he was gay durg his sophomore year of high school, but wh that acceptance me worry.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

As a multisport athlete, Bach was often locker rooms filled wh chos of homophobic slurs and gay jok. ’”By the start of his sophomore year at Michigan State, Bach was ready to tell his parents that he was gay, tchg his father off guard but nfirmg what his mother had prevly assumed.

CAN A PERSON BE GAY AND STILL BE A CHRISTIAN?

He did each job to the bt of his abily, and his sexualy never me, he has found that there’s a difference between beg a gay man baseball and beg pletely fortable as one. That uncertaty mak him feel self-nsc a way he believ is mon for gay people mostly straight spac. “I feel like that’s the burn a lot of gay people live wh — tryg to be perfect for straight people, ” he job requir equent teractn wh the players and the achg staff — addn to his duti as play-by-play announcer, Bach also is the ma public relatns ntact for the team — and he said he hadn’t fully relaxed any of them.

The environment is not hostile, but Bach never fets that he is the only openly gay person the room. Mrer/Frericksburg NatnalsThat feelg is somewhat “self-flicted, ” Bach said, but he believ the solutn is to brg more openly gay people to sports and create a safe environment for those who are already there but have felt necsary to hi their League Baseball has touted self as a place of clivy. Billy Bean, an openly gay former player, was named the league’s first ambassador for cln 2014 and has sce been promoted to senr vice print and special assistant to Commissner Rob Maned.

In Febary, Anrson Comás, a mor leaguer the Chigo Whe Sox anizatn, me out as gay wh a post on Instagram, and the announcement was met wh public support om his club and some people around the cints suggt there is more work to be done. The Boston Red Sox lled up a mor leaguer, Matt Dermody, who had posted an anti-gay msage on Twter 2021, and Anthony Bass, a reliever for the Toronto Blue Jays, reposted a vio on social media that lled for boytts of L. “Those of that are this very small mory sports have to keep on havg the nversatns, keep on workg really ick’ hard to earn your spot this space, ” he aspir to be a gay person at home a big-league booth.

CAN YOU BE GAY AND CHRISTIAN?

McCoy for The New York TimA versn of this article appears prt on, Sectn A, Page 27 of the New York edn wh the headle: A Gay Broadster Climbs the Ladr, But It’s Been Lonely. Has a history of repeatedly sharg unfound nspiraci that man-ma chemils the environment uld be makg children gay or transgenr and g the femizatn of boys and masculizatn of girls. The basels claim that chemils – particularly tap water – uld turn people gay has gaed populary wh nspiracy theorists over the years, most memorably wh nservative rad host Alex Jon, who said chemils the water were “turng the igg’ ogs gay.

THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label.

Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex.

Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia. I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them. I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology.

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man. They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight. Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg.

SUPREME COURT L WORKERS N'T BE FIRED FOR BEG GAY OR TRANSGENR

Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such. In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. This populatn is the foc of his new and much-need book: Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?

Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay. He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men. A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me?

And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay. That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay.