Tell: An Intimate History of Gay Men the Milary | GQ

Contents:

• I THOUGHT I COULD SERVE AS AN OPENLY GAY MAN THE ARMY. THEN CAME THE DEATH THREATS.
• I'M A GAY ARMY OFFICER—QUEER TROOPS MT FIGHT BACK
• US ARY LIFTS BAN ON OPENLY GAY TROOPS
• TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY

I THOUGHT I COULD SERVE AS AN OPENLY GAY MAN THE ARMY. THEN CAME THE DEATH THREATS.

Half a after the repeal of don’t ask, don’t tell, most lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr service members still felt reluctant to be open about their sexualy wh their lleagu and cha of mand, acrdg to a study released late study, published by the journal Sexualy Rearch and Social Policy, found that 59 percent of rponnts did not feel fortable beg out at work, eher bee of reer repercsns or bee of the burn of beg a token rponsible for tg their peers. ”Dpe the orrs om above, many veterans publicly opposed the 2011 repeal of the ban on gay, lbian and bisexual service for troops who had grown up that environment, the policy’s mise did not flip a swch terms of fort level ― theirs or their lleagu.

“The stctor was reported to e the pejorative term ‘fags’ durg class, disclose other people’s sexual mory inty to his stunts whout their permissn, and munite that he believed sexual mori were more promiscuo than heterosexuals, ” acrdg the the study, based on a rponse om a gay soldier. I am about to be put on a board for major and I do not want to not even have that opportuny to put myself where they n easily be like, ‘Get rid of this guy; if we have to cut 55 percent of the officers up for , he’s one of the easy on we n jt fd a reason to jt ver [ourselv], ' " said one rponnt, a gay Mare.

I'M A GAY ARMY OFFICER—QUEER TROOPS MT FIGHT BACK

“I had a few iends there [ trag] that I got to know pretty well, but I knew a uple of them had some pretty strong relig backgrounds and I did not really feel like ttg the waters at that pot, ” one rponnt, a gay soldier, said. I’m like well, the bt way to keep people om beg homophobic is to have them have someone that they know and rpect, who is gay, ” one sailor said.

"An employer who fir an dividual for beg homosexual or transgenr fir that person for tras or actns would not have qutned members of a different sex, ” Jtice Neil Gorsuch wrote the cisn.

In rponse, and apparently to monstrate his petency his assigned posn, the nonmissned officer had taken upon himself to approach the person he nsired cled toward mtg a siar offense the future: me, the only openly gay soldier my un. Together we approached our un’s learship, where she sisted that the ments had stemmed om the reprentative’s own homophobic feelgs and remend that he be reprimand and removed om his posn as the un’s sexual harassment watchdog.

US ARY LIFTS BAN ON OPENLY GAY TROOPS

But by then was hard to ignore the anxiety I felt durg required social activi — “mandatory fun, ” as ’s lled the ary — or the tensn om my fellow moment I cid to bee a soldier and the moment I chose to live openly as a gay man occurred so closely time that ’s hard to remember which me first. It was still four months before the repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell, ” a double-edged policy prohibg askg any service member about his or her sexualy while enforcg a ban on openly gay service members. A uple were more elaborate: tailed scriptns of what might happen to me if I was ught alone, and proclamatns about the wrongns of gays the ary.

TELL: AN INTIMATE HISTORY OF GAY MEN THE MILARY

There are moments when feels wrong to claim my stat as a veteran; as if beg gay ma me ls of a soldier and somehow validated my service.

Every memory evok an emotn: rage that I had to serve wh a nstant sense of fear of my fellow soldiers; paralyzg sadns for those who endured ab worse than I n know; and, the worst, guilt over the service members — gay or straight or transgenr — who died while servg the ary while my body is still whole. I was one of few soldiers who joed the service before graduatg high school, but the admistratn at the time, which I believe was homophobic, chose to act as if I never existed bee of my queer hate that I experienced growg up on Long Island was my first enunter wh how others would treat me as a queer soldier.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell – the US ary's 18-year ban on openly gay and lbian service personnel – has officially been repealed, herg a new era for the untry's armed a statement Print Barack Obama weled the end of a policy that he said had forced gay and lbian members to "lie about who they are" repeal, which took effect om midnight on Tuday, was celebrated as "momento news" by gay lobby groups across the US, who have long fought agast the policy, and among the ary's timated 65, 000 servg gay and lbian servicemen and said he was nfint that liftg the ban would enhance natnal secury. "As of today, our armed forc will no longer lose the extraordary skills and bat experience of so many gay and lbian service members.