So you thk your son is gay? Don't ask. Let him tell you - The Globe and Mail

Contents:

• YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY
• THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY
• I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY
• SO YOU THK YOUR SON IS GAY? DON'T ASK. LET HIM TELL YOU
• THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

For straight parents, havg a child reveal that he is gay n be a jolt. You might ask how long he or she has known, and why he feels he is gay, bi, or trans, suggts Jonathan Tobk, M.

D., a psychiatrist private practice New York Cy and the -thor of When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need to Know. You n fd one through the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists.

Take the extra step and show your child that you are terted beg the parent of a gay child.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

Edute yourself on what means to be gay, lbian, bisexual or transgenr. PFLAG, or Parents for Lbians and Gays, which now has a group for transgenr youth, and holds natnwi chapters and meetgs;. When parents learn that their child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, they n experience a range of emotns.

MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

As a matter of fact, you might someday look back and fd that you are grateful for the experience of havg a gay or lbian child.

Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups. If you jt found out your child is gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr, you may be thkg that such ias are prepostero.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR SON IS GAY

The tstworthy nfidants let them vent but also rrected some of the misperceptns they absorbed om society, such as that gay people are lonely, unhappy, promiscuo, not fay-oriented, unable to have children, or sted for an unhappy life. Contact Parents, Fay, and Friends of Lbians and Gays (PFLAG). List of Helpful Books for Parents of Gay and Lbian Children.

Straight Parents Gay Children: Keepg Fai Together (revised edn). Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lbians, and Gays Talk About Their Experienc. Somethg to Tell You: The Road Fai Travel when a Child is Gay.

Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child.

THIS IS HOW I FELT WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

Fortunate Fai: Catholic fai wh lbian dghters and gay sons. Mom, Dad, I'm Gay: How Fai Negotiate Comg Out.

I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. I had spected at tim that he was gay.

SO YOU THK YOUR SON IS GAY? DON'T ASK. LET HIM TELL YOU

Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No! San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

THIS IS HOW I REALLY REACTED WHEN MY SON TOLD ME HE WAS GAY

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this. Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok.

Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace. " How do they pict gay people?

React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay. They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do.