A nversatn about open and monogamo marriage, for gay men and for all.
Contents:
- I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN
- A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
- SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON
I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN
He’s also always been hont about beg gay and has never hidn om me. Our son took the news very well and don’t re that his father was gay. I’ve asked my hband about , and he nfirms that he’s gay, not bisexual.
I have doubts that he might leave me someday for a gay relatnship like he did his ex-wife. Would you nsir him bisexual or gay?
A GUI FOR GAY MEN ON BOTH OPEN AND MONOGAMO MARRIAGE
I thk your hband que clearly nsirs himself gay, which is far more relevant to your marriage than my asssment of his sense of self. The qutn of how he se his gayns relatn to his two marriag to women, specifilly his current marriage to you, is both more salient and open-end, so I’d suggt you start by askg him to share more of his thoughts on the subject wh you. That will get you a lot further than tryg to figure out if your hband is “really” bisexual (and, implicly, whether that means you n safely hope he won’t leave you for someone else) or “really” gay (and, implicly, whether you have to fear that he’s gog to break up wh you for another man).
” His gayns isn’t somethg you n ntralize by beg a sufficiently good or extra-lovg wife. I had the opportuny to talk wh psychotherapist and thor Michael Dale Kimmel about his new book, The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage. MOC: Tell me about The Gay Man's Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage.
MDK: I began offerg workshops for gay, bisexual, and transgenr men about eighteen years’ ago, and after a uple of years there were always a few guys who me up to me and said ( whispered ton), “You’ve got to put this stuff a book. While there are lots of books about how to plan your gay weddg, there were virtually none that addrs what to do after the honeymoon is over (lerally and figuratively).
SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON
” — regard to gay marriage — to be ntroversial. The Gay Man’s Gui to Open and Monogamo Marriage dar to ask the qutn: is monogamy or an open relatnship (or a batn of both) the bt way to stcture your marriage? Same-sex marriage has been a long time g – a few thoand years or so - and now that ’s fally here, many gay, bisexual and transgenr men may thk that ’s a bad ia to “rock the boat” by discsg the kds of ias that this book prents.
I believe that now is the perfect time to qutn what gay marriage n, should and will be, while is still relatively new, h and malleable. MDK: I have been givg workshops on “monogamy or open relatnship” for many years, long before gay marriage was legal. While marriage wasn’t a possibily then, the qutns those workshops were basilly the same as those this book: as gay men, do we choose the monogamy of heterosexual marriage as our mol, or do we prefer an open marriage?
And yet, most gay marriag emulate whout much thought, assumg that ’s the “right” way to be married. As a psychotherapist for gay upl for many years’ now, ’s been que clear to me that “handbooks” for heterosexual marriage don’t really apply to our marriag several signifint ways: our marriag are more “signed” than “assumed. As gay men, we are ed to fg our own paths and fg our relatnships on our own terms.