No One Knows I’m Gay. Should I Tell People Now? - The Atlantic</tle><meta name="scriptn" ntent="I’ve gone through life pretendg, and my heart ach."/><meta property="kx:tle" ntent="No One Knows I’m Gay. Should I Tell People Now? - The Atlantic"/><meta property="kx:scriptn" ntent="I’ve gone through life pretendg, and my heart ach."/><lk rel="nonil" href="><lk rel="image_src" href="><meta property="article:thor" ntent="><meta name="thor" ntent="Lori Gottlieb"/><lk rel="ia:markup_url" href="><meta property="article:publisher" ntent="><meta property="article:opn" ntent="false"/><meta property="article:ntent_tier" ntent="metered"/><meta property="article:tag" ntent="fay"/><meta property="article:sectn" ntent="Fay"/><meta property="article:published_time" ntent="2019-11-25T12:00:00Z"/><meta property="article:modified_time" ntent="2022-04-06T21:32:43Z"/><meta name="robots" ntent="x, follow, max-image-preview:large"/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="Dear Therapist: I Will Probably Take the Secret of My Sexualy to the Grave"/><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="I’ve gone through life pretendg, and my heart ach."/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta property="og:type" ntent="article"/><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image"/><lk rel="alternate" type="applitn/rss+xml" tle="The Atlantic" href="/feed/all/"/><lk rel="alternate" type="applitn/rss+xml" tle="Bt of The Atlantic" href="/feed/bt-of/"/><meta name="referrer" ntent="unsafe-url"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-pable" ntent="y"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-stat-bar-style" ntent="black"/><meta name="apple-mobile-web-app-tle" ntent="The Atlantic"/><meta name="keywords" ntent="ache of an rcerated self, male iends, good iends, people, medil advice, nvenient tth, solary , elrly mother, secret of my sexualy, male boss, te self, good news, md people, iends, female partner, solary nfement, basic human need, great relief, 65-year-old man, particular week, number of people, right girl, profsnal medil advice, tth, send self, eper level, others, likely feel, mental-health, heart ach, sexual orientatn, emotnal toll, love, signifint parture, medil ndn, difficult posn, Dear Therapist, Therapist, works of iends, available men, origal self, advice of your physician, letter, eded versn, exact oppose, mom, rmatnal purpos, self, old age, te self stays" emID="#keywords"/><meta name="news_keywords" ntent="ache of an rcerated self, male iends, good iends, people, medil advice, nvenient tth, solary , elrly mother, secret of my sexualy, male boss, te self, good news, md people, iends, female partner, solary nfement, basic human need, great relief, 65-year-old man, particular week, number of people, right girl, profsnal medil advice, tth, send self, eper level, others, likely feel, mental-health, heart ach, sexual orientatn, emotnal toll, love, signifint parture, medil ndn, difficult posn, Dear Therapist, Therapist, works of iends, available men, origal self, advice of your physician, letter, eded versn, exact oppose, mom, rmatnal purpos, self, old age, te self stays"/><meta name="" ntent="ar-therapist,fay,artherapist"/><meta name="" ntent="Lori Gottlieb"/><meta name="" ntent="2019-11-25T12:00:00Z"/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><lk rel="preload" as="font" type="font/woff2" href=" crossorig=""/><script type="applitn/ld+json">{"@ntext":","@type":"NewsArticle","headle":"No One Knows I’m Gay. Should I Tell People Now?","alternativeHeadle":"Dear Therapist: I Will Probably Take the Secret of My Sexualy to the Grave","scriptn":"I’ve gone through life pretendg, and my heart ach.","url":","datePublished":"2019-11-25T12:00:00Z","dateModified":"2022-04-06T21:32:43Z","isAccsibleForFree":false,"hasPart":{"@type":"WebPageElement","isAccsibleForFree":false,"cssSelector":".article-ntent-body"},"publisher":{"@id":"},"maEntyOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"},"image":[{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":720},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":405},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1080},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1080},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1200},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":900},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":1600},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":900},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":960},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"url":"},{"@type":"ImageObject","width":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"height":{"@type":"QuantativeValue","unCo":"E37","value":540},"url":"}],"thor":[{"@type":"Person","name":"Lori Gottlieb","sameAs":"}],"articleSectn":"Fay"}</script><lk rel="preload" as="image" href=" imageSrcSet=" 750w, 828w, 960w, 976w, 1952w" imageSiz="(m-width: 976px) 976px, 100vw"/><meta name="next-head-unt" ntent="62"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-g=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href=" data-n-p=""/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="><lk rel="preload" href=" as="style"/><lk rel="stylheet" href="><noscript data-n-css=""></noscript><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/><lk rel="preload" href=" as="script"/></head><body><div id="__next"><div data-tegory="story page"><div></div><nav class="Nav_root___6bX9" aria-labelledby="se-navigatn" data-tegory="Se Nav" data-event-module="se nav" id="ma-navigatn"><div class="Nav_maNav__yofcm"><a href="#ma-ntent" class="Nav_skipLk__Evjjd">Skip to ntent</a><h2 id="se-navigatn" class="Nav_visuallyHi__AbSDF">Se Navigatn</h2><div class="Nav_flexContaer__Q3LKQ"><ul class="Nav_leftContaer__cPQgJ"><li class="Nav_navListItem__cEyWT Nav_visuallyHiOnMobile__hxCGG"><a href=" class="Nav_navLk__5SUAA"><svg xmlns=" viewBox="0 0 87.83 134" class="Nav_bigA__XvGGC"><tle>The Atlantic

i am not happy being gay

23 Dec 2024

Contents:

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?
YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

If the sufferer is heterosexual, then the thought may be that they are homosexual. If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight. ” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight).

For those wh thoughts of beg homosexual, part of the distrs mt surely be social orig.

Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng. I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt. Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg.

ARE GAY MEN HAPPIER THAN STRAIGHT MEN?

Observg themselv for evince of “lookg, ” talkg, walkg, drsg, or gturg like someone who is eher gay or straight.

Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person.

YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD

Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to. Do you thk I uld be gay (or straight)? How n I tell if I’m really gay (or straight)?

Can you sudnly turn to a homosexual (or heterosexual) even if you have never felt or acted that that way?

BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM I AM NOT HAPPY BEING GAY

You’re Not Gay: Homosexualy Anxiety OCD - OCD Rource Center.