When Gay Men (Mis)Marry Straight Women: Bonnie Kaye's Story | Psychology Today

Contents:

• I AM GAY AND I'M LOVE WH A STRAIGHT, WHAT N I DO?
• WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

I AM GAY AND I'M LOVE WH A STRAIGHT, WHAT N I DO?

But many people assume sexual orientatn is fairly stable—that whether you’re gay or straight, you’re “born this way, ” and that’s what you’ll be fely isn’t always the se. This is pecially te for men; while bisexualy among women is slightly more socially acceptable (albe bee ’s fetishized and often viewed as an "experiment"), men often have to ntend wh the belief that bisexualy, as Carrie once put on Sex and the Cy, is “a p stop on the way to gay town. Studi show that bisexual people are at a higher risk of prsn, anxiety, and experiencg vlence than their gay, lbian, and heterosexual unterparts.

I am gay and I'm love wh a straight, what n I do?

If you are gay and you are love wh a straight person, there is nothg you n really do. The club of gay people who have been love wh a straight. But do really make a difference if they are straight or gay, if at the end of the day they are someone who is not attracted to you?

WHEN GAY MEN (MIS)MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN: BONNIE KAYE'S STORY

Those lov are like fallg love wh a teacher, or a straight fallg love wh a gay, or fallg love wh a married person, or fallg love wh a sger or an actor. But you need to know that if the person dont want to do somethg wh you, you need to pass no matter have to rpect that the person you like is straight jt like how he rpect and accept you beg Gay. I recently spoke wh Bonnie Kaye, thor of Straight Wiv, Shattered Liv: Stori of Women wh Gay Hbands, among other books, and host of Bonnie Kaye’s Straight Wiv Talk Show on BlogTalkRad.

Bonnie has spent much of her adult life first livg wh and attemptg to love a gay hband and then helpg other women the same mis-marriage suatn. Bee I know untls gay men who were once married to straight women, wh varyg gre of short and longer-term happs and misery, I wanted to discs this topic, and I wanted to do so om the straight wiv’ perspective. Our discsn was wi-rangg, begng wh her own marriage to a gay man and progrsg to how she was able to move on post-marriage, eventually beg a rock for other women siar suatns.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

So if somebody told me they’d tried somethg but they didn’t like , there would be no reason for me to thk that the person was gay. But I certaly didn’t want to marry a gay man.

He was a karate teacher, martial arts, a strong guy, looked like Sylvter Stallone, and gay was not one of the issu I thought about wh him. There were issu wh him om the start, but nothg to make me thk that he might be gay. Then somebody who was part of my social work rmed me, a uple of weeks before we were supposed to get married, that he had spicns that Robert was gay.

I thought, “How uld he be gay? Gay men have gaydar. The bottom le is, he was actively gay.