I'm 43 – but I'm ma to feel like a dosr by younger gay men | Metro News

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• GAY MEN'S PREFERENC FOR "TOP" VS. "BOTTOM" CAN BE JUDGED BY THEIR FACE
• TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS"I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}CULTUREBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021/1:35 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:4912PX;WIDTH:7360PX;}GETTY IMAGSHOT A YOUNG UPLE HAVG AN ARGUMENT THE BEDROOM AT HOMEBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021 / 1:35 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"BOBBY BOX","KEYWORDS":"LOVE AND SEX","ARTICLESECTN":"CULTURE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN TO POSNAL PREFERENC, VERSATILY IS LARGELY REGARD AS THE MOST PROGRSIVE OPTN FOR QUEER MEN. STICKG TO THE BARY OF “TOP” AND “BOTTOM” N LIM WHAT ONE DO THE BEDROOM, AND QUEER FOLKS SHOULD FEEL EMPOWERED TO FUCK WHOEVER AND HOWEVER THEY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN THEORY, THIS THKG TRACKS, BUT DON’T ALWAYS HOLD UP PRACTICE. AFTER SPEAKG WH MANY GAY, BISEXUAL, AND QUEER MEN WHO INTIFY AS “TOTAL TOPS” OR “TOTAL BOTTOMS” (MEANG THEY HAVE NO SIRE TO DIVERSIFY THEIR POSNAL PREFERENCE), I'VE LEARNED ABOUT A NUMBER OF LEGIMATE REASONS ONE MAY HAVE NO TERT SWCHG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY, A 35-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN AND “G OUT ACH,” INTIFI AS A TOTAL TOP. HE HAS ONLY BOTTOMED ONCE HIS LIFE, AND ALTHOUGH WASN’T BAD, HE HAS “NO TERT” BEG VERSATILE. “I'M STRICTLY A TOP BEE BOTTOMG IS PAFUL, EASY AS THAT,” HE TELLS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY ALSO SAYS BOTTOMG IS “TIED TO SUBMISSN” FOR HIM, A MON ASSOCIATN AMONG QUEER MEN ROOTED TOXIC MASCULY. IN FACT, ONE STUDY FOUND TOPS ARE MOST LIKELY TO MANIFT HIGHER LEVELS OF TERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND MORE LIKELY TO REJECT A GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“REARCH DO SHOW THAT TOPS ARE MORE LIKELY TO INTIFY AS TRADNALLY MASCULE OR DOMANT, SO TOPPG MAY BE A PART OF THAT MASCULE OR DOMANT INTY,” DR. TREVOR HART, A CLIL PSYCHOLOGIST AND BEHAVRAL SCIENTIST FOCG ON THE SEXUAL AND MENTAL HEALTH OF MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN, TELLS LOGO.GETTY IMAGSAD GAY MAN HAVG PROBLEMS WH HIS BOYIEND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}FOR SELF-SCRIBED “REER BOTTOM” ROLANDO, 29, NFINCE PLAYS A LARGE PART HIS RIGID POSNAL PREFERENCE. “I DID TOP ONE TIME WH MY THEN-BOYIEND, BUT ’S NOT WHAT I LIKE OR EXCEL AT,” HE SAYS. “THAT, TURN, HAS CREATED A B OF ERTIA, WHERE BEE ’S WHAT I’VE DONE THE MOST, I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ROLANDO EXPLAS THAT EVEN WH A PARTNER HE LOVED, HE STILL EXPERIENCED CHALLENG LIKE STAYG HARD AND FDG A POSN THAT WORKED FOR BOTH HIM AND HIS PARTNER. “I'D SENTIALLY HAVE TO FD SOMEONE WHO IS WILLG TO AL WH A BEGNER-TOP, WH MY PERFORMANCE ANXIETY AND STAYG HARD, AND ALL FOR SOMETHG THAT ULTIMATELY DON’T EVEN FEEL THAT GOOD TO ME? I'D RATHER JT BOTTOM.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DR. HART’S REARCH, WHICH POLLED 205 GAY MALE PARTICIPANTS ON SUBJECTS LIKE SELF-LABELS AND SEXUAL BEHAVR, WAS PUBLISHED THE JOURNAL OF SEX REARCH 2003. HE UNVERED A NUMBER OF TERTG RRELATNS, CLUDG THAT VERSATIL SEEM TO ENJOY BETTER PSYCHOLOGIL HEALTH, WHICH ULD BE DUE TO THEIR GREATER SEXUAL SENSATN-SEEKG, RCED FEARS AROUND SEX, AND GREATER FORT WH A VARIETY OF ROL AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“ON THE OTHER HAND, TOTAL BOTTOMS MIGHT PERCEIVE TOPPG TO BE TOO DOMANT OR UNFORTABLE, OR THAT THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PERFORM, TO HAVE AN ASM, OR TO PLEASURE THEIR PARTNER WHILE TOPPG,” HART {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SHAME ASSOCIATED WH PENIS SIZE OR SHAPE WAS ANOTHER PREVAILG FACTOR AMONG THE MEN I TERVIEWED. “THE MA REASON I DON’T TOP IS BEE MY DICK ISN’T REALLY SHAPED A WAY THAT MAK FORTABLE,” BNO, A 23-YEAR-OLD WHO HAS ONLY TOPPED ONCE, SHAR. “IT’S ALMOST STRAIGHT UP AND DON’T LIKE TO BEND OUTWARD OR FORWARD WHEN FULLY HARD. I ALSO DON’T EXPERIENCE AS MUCH SENSATN AS I THK MOST PEOPLE DO, SO ’S JT UNFORTABLE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEN THE PRSURE OM SIZE QUEENS. REARCH PUBLISHED THE ARCHIV OF SEXUAL BEHAVR 2010 FOUND THAT THE SMALLER SOMEBODY PERCEIVED THE SIZE OF THEIR PENIS, THE MORE LIKELY THEY WERE TO INTIFY AS A BOTTOM. AFTER SURVEYG 1,065 GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN, ONLY 29.2% OF TOPS FALL UNR “BELOW AVERAGE” PENIS SIZE, PARED TO 32% OF VERSATIL AND 39% OF BOTTOMS. CONVERSELY, THE BIGGER THEIR PERCEIVED PENIS SIZE, THE MORE LIKELY SUBJECTS WERE TO INTIFY AS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}REARCHERS NCLUD MASCULY WAS YET AGA A POTENTIAL FACTOR SCE ONE’S PENIS SIZE IS OFTEN ACCURATELY REGARD AS A SYMBOL OF ONE’S GREE OF MASCULY, AND JUDGEMENT OM SEXUAL PARTNERS MIGHT MAKE SOMEONE WH AN AVERAGE OR SMALLER-THAN-AVERAGE PENIS LS NFINT TOPPG.GETTY IMAGMAN'S HAND HOLDS H RIPE EGGPLANT ON A WHE BACKGROUND. HARVTG NCEPT. AN ALLEGORY ON THE SIZE OF MALE SEX OGANS. SIZE PARISON. IMAG FOR THE MALE DOCTOR'S {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INFLEXIBLE POSNAL PREFERENC N ALSO STEM OM TRMATIC SEXUAL EXPERIENC. INGO, 50, WAS AN ABIVE RELATNSHIP FOR 18 MONTHS AND SAYS HE WAS SEXUALLY ASSLTED THROUGHOUT. HE NOW INTIFI AS A TOTAL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“IT WAS A MIX OF ERCN, THREATS TO THROW ME OUT AND LL MY GRANDFATHER TO SPILL ALL THE TAILS OF OUR SEX LIFE,” HE TELLS LOGO. “THE KICKER WAS THAT HE HIMSELF WAS A BOTTOM MOST OF HIS LIFE, SO RETROSPECT, I ASSUME THAT WAS AN EARLY EXAMPLE OF AN INTY CRISIS BORRG ON FALSE IAS OF MASCULY ON HIS END.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INGO HAS TRIED BOTTOMG THE 30 YEARS SCE THAT ABIVE RELATNSHIP, BUT HE WASN'T ABLE TO ENJOY EVEN WH ANOTHER PAST PARTNER HE TSTED. “I SOMETIM WONR IF THERE WAS SOMETHG TAKEN AWAY OM ME,” HE ADMS AFTER A PSE. “BUT THE CURSY AND THE WISH TO EXPERIMENT WENT UP SMOKE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE ARE JT A FEW OF THE MANY MSAG I RECEIVED OM TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS WHO WERE GRAC WH THEIR VULNERABILY. AND WHILE ONE MIGHT LOGILLY ASSUME THAT SOMEONE’S SEXUAL PREFERENCE IS TERMED BY THEIR LIK AND DISLIK THE BEDROOM, REARCH AND TTIMONY SUGGTS IS NOT THAT SIMPLE. EVEN AMONG THE RELATIVELY SMALL SAMPLG OF TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS I TERVIEWED, MOST NFSED THEY’D ONLY TRIED THE OPPOSG POSN ONCE OR A FEW {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INTRIGUED, I ASKED HART IF HE THKS SOCIAL PRSUR MIGHT ECLIPSE ONE’S ACTUAL ENJOYMENT THEIR INTI. HE SAYS IS LIKELY TE FOR A LOT OF MEN. “IF A GUY HAS NCERNS ABOUT KEEPG ERECTNS OR ABOUT PLEASURG HIS PARTNER AS A TOP, HE IS UNLIKELY TO TOP. THIS IS ALSO THE SE FOR GUYS WHO’VE BEEN TOLD THEY AREN’T GREAT AT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}STRIPPED OF ALL NUANCE, NVENTNAL IAS OF WHAT IS “MASCULE” APPEAR TO PLAY A LARGE ROLE HOW QUEER MEN HAVE SEX. WHETHER THIS MANIFTS OUR NFINCE, OUR PERCEPTN OF SIZE, OR THE REPERCSNS OF A PAST PARTNER'S OWN TERNALIZED BIAS, SEEMS MOST OF ARE WILLG AND OPEN TO BE MORE VERSATILE. WE JT LACK THE SELF-ASSURANCE TO ACT ON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AT THE END OF THE DAY, SEX IS BT WHEN YOU DO WHAT MAK YOU MOST FORTABLE, SO SET BOUNDARI AND DO YOU. BUT PERHAPS THE RMATN ABOVE WILL MAKE SOME RENSIR WHY THEY AREN’T OPEN TO EXPERIENCG A FULLER SPECTM OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}LOVE AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS
• I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

GAY MEN'S PREFERENC FOR "TOP" VS. "BOTTOM" CAN BE JUDGED BY THEIR FACE

Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay rd, a Harry Potter–like ceremony occurs where, stead of the Sortg Hat, a giant magil butt plug divis all gay men to two ho: tops or is clearly not the se, pecially for those people who nsir themselv versatile (HIYA).

The two subdivisns have their own l, stereotyp, and -jok, and n sometim seem as if they’re at war wh each other, rather than both workg together for mutual sexual of this n make tryg different thgs dntg, pecially if you’re a baby gay venturg to this world for the first time.

TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS"I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}CULTUREBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021/1:35 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:4912PX;WIDTH:7360PX;}GETTY IMAGSHOT A YOUNG UPLE HAVG AN ARGUMENT THE BEDROOM AT HOMEBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021 / 1:35 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"BOBBY BOX","KEYWORDS":"LOVE AND SEX","ARTICLESECTN":"CULTURE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN TO POSNAL PREFERENC, VERSATILY IS LARGELY REGARD AS THE MOST PROGRSIVE OPTN FOR QUEER MEN. STICKG TO THE BARY OF “TOP” AND “BOTTOM” N LIM WHAT ONE DO THE BEDROOM, AND QUEER FOLKS SHOULD FEEL EMPOWERED TO FUCK WHOEVER AND HOWEVER THEY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN THEORY, THIS THKG TRACKS, BUT DON’T ALWAYS HOLD UP PRACTICE. AFTER SPEAKG WH MANY GAY, BISEXUAL, AND QUEER MEN WHO INTIFY AS “TOTAL TOPS” OR “TOTAL BOTTOMS” (MEANG THEY HAVE NO SIRE TO DIVERSIFY THEIR POSNAL PREFERENCE), I'VE LEARNED ABOUT A NUMBER OF LEGIMATE REASONS ONE MAY HAVE NO TERT SWCHG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY, A 35-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN AND “G OUT ACH,” INTIFI AS A TOTAL TOP. HE HAS ONLY BOTTOMED ONCE HIS LIFE, AND ALTHOUGH WASN’T BAD, HE HAS “NO TERT” BEG VERSATILE. “I'M STRICTLY A TOP BEE BOTTOMG IS PAFUL, EASY AS THAT,” HE TELLS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY ALSO SAYS BOTTOMG IS “TIED TO SUBMISSN” FOR HIM, A MON ASSOCIATN AMONG QUEER MEN ROOTED TOXIC MASCULY. IN FACT, ONE STUDY FOUND TOPS ARE MOST LIKELY TO MANIFT HIGHER LEVELS OF TERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND MORE LIKELY TO REJECT A GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“REARCH DO SHOW THAT TOPS ARE MORE LIKELY TO INTIFY AS TRADNALLY MASCULE OR DOMANT, SO TOPPG MAY BE A PART OF THAT MASCULE OR DOMANT INTY,” DR. TREVOR HART, A CLIL PSYCHOLOGIST AND BEHAVRAL SCIENTIST FOCG ON THE SEXUAL AND MENTAL HEALTH OF MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN, TELLS LOGO.GETTY IMAGSAD GAY MAN HAVG PROBLEMS WH HIS BOYIEND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}FOR SELF-SCRIBED “REER BOTTOM” ROLANDO, 29, NFINCE PLAYS A LARGE PART HIS RIGID POSNAL PREFERENCE. “I DID TOP ONE TIME WH MY THEN-BOYIEND, BUT ’S NOT WHAT I LIKE OR EXCEL AT,” HE SAYS. “THAT, TURN, HAS CREATED A B OF ERTIA, WHERE BEE ’S WHAT I’VE DONE THE MOST, I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ROLANDO EXPLAS THAT EVEN WH A PARTNER HE LOVED, HE STILL EXPERIENCED CHALLENG LIKE STAYG HARD AND FDG A POSN THAT WORKED FOR BOTH HIM AND HIS PARTNER. “I'D SENTIALLY HAVE TO FD SOMEONE WHO IS WILLG TO AL WH A BEGNER-TOP, WH MY PERFORMANCE ANXIETY AND STAYG HARD, AND ALL FOR SOMETHG THAT ULTIMATELY DON’T EVEN FEEL THAT GOOD TO ME? I'D RATHER JT BOTTOM.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DR. HART’S REARCH, WHICH POLLED 205 GAY MALE PARTICIPANTS ON SUBJECTS LIKE SELF-LABELS AND SEXUAL BEHAVR, WAS PUBLISHED THE JOURNAL OF SEX REARCH 2003. HE UNVERED A NUMBER OF TERTG RRELATNS, CLUDG THAT VERSATIL SEEM TO ENJOY BETTER PSYCHOLOGIL HEALTH, WHICH ULD BE DUE TO THEIR GREATER SEXUAL SENSATN-SEEKG, RCED FEARS AROUND SEX, AND GREATER FORT WH A VARIETY OF ROL AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“ON THE OTHER HAND, TOTAL BOTTOMS MIGHT PERCEIVE TOPPG TO BE TOO DOMANT OR UNFORTABLE, OR THAT THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PERFORM, TO HAVE AN ASM, OR TO PLEASURE THEIR PARTNER WHILE TOPPG,” HART {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SHAME ASSOCIATED WH PENIS SIZE OR SHAPE WAS ANOTHER PREVAILG FACTOR AMONG THE MEN I TERVIEWED. “THE MA REASON I DON’T TOP IS BEE MY DICK ISN’T REALLY SHAPED A WAY THAT MAK FORTABLE,” BNO, A 23-YEAR-OLD WHO HAS ONLY TOPPED ONCE, SHAR. “IT’S ALMOST STRAIGHT UP AND DON’T LIKE TO BEND OUTWARD OR FORWARD WHEN FULLY HARD. I ALSO DON’T EXPERIENCE AS MUCH SENSATN AS I THK MOST PEOPLE DO, SO ’S JT UNFORTABLE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEN THE PRSURE OM SIZE QUEENS. REARCH PUBLISHED THE ARCHIV OF SEXUAL BEHAVR 2010 FOUND THAT THE SMALLER SOMEBODY PERCEIVED THE SIZE OF THEIR PENIS, THE MORE LIKELY THEY WERE TO INTIFY AS A BOTTOM. AFTER SURVEYG 1,065 GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN, ONLY 29.2% OF TOPS FALL UNR “BELOW AVERAGE” PENIS SIZE, PARED TO 32% OF VERSATIL AND 39% OF BOTTOMS. CONVERSELY, THE BIGGER THEIR PERCEIVED PENIS SIZE, THE MORE LIKELY SUBJECTS WERE TO INTIFY AS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}REARCHERS NCLUD MASCULY WAS YET AGA A POTENTIAL FACTOR SCE ONE’S PENIS SIZE IS OFTEN ACCURATELY REGARD AS A SYMBOL OF ONE’S GREE OF MASCULY, AND JUDGEMENT OM SEXUAL PARTNERS MIGHT MAKE SOMEONE WH AN AVERAGE OR SMALLER-THAN-AVERAGE PENIS LS NFINT TOPPG.GETTY IMAGMAN'S HAND HOLDS H RIPE EGGPLANT ON A WHE BACKGROUND. HARVTG NCEPT. AN ALLEGORY ON THE SIZE OF MALE SEX OGANS. SIZE PARISON. IMAG FOR THE MALE DOCTOR'S {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INFLEXIBLE POSNAL PREFERENC N ALSO STEM OM TRMATIC SEXUAL EXPERIENC. INGO, 50, WAS AN ABIVE RELATNSHIP FOR 18 MONTHS AND SAYS HE WAS SEXUALLY ASSLTED THROUGHOUT. HE NOW INTIFI AS A TOTAL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“IT WAS A MIX OF ERCN, THREATS TO THROW ME OUT AND LL MY GRANDFATHER TO SPILL ALL THE TAILS OF OUR SEX LIFE,” HE TELLS LOGO. “THE KICKER WAS THAT HE HIMSELF WAS A BOTTOM MOST OF HIS LIFE, SO RETROSPECT, I ASSUME THAT WAS AN EARLY EXAMPLE OF AN INTY CRISIS BORRG ON FALSE IAS OF MASCULY ON HIS END.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INGO HAS TRIED BOTTOMG THE 30 YEARS SCE THAT ABIVE RELATNSHIP, BUT HE WASN'T ABLE TO ENJOY EVEN WH ANOTHER PAST PARTNER HE TSTED. “I SOMETIM WONR IF THERE WAS SOMETHG TAKEN AWAY OM ME,” HE ADMS AFTER A PSE. “BUT THE CURSY AND THE WISH TO EXPERIMENT WENT UP SMOKE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE ARE JT A FEW OF THE MANY MSAG I RECEIVED OM TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS WHO WERE GRAC WH THEIR VULNERABILY. AND WHILE ONE MIGHT LOGILLY ASSUME THAT SOMEONE’S SEXUAL PREFERENCE IS TERMED BY THEIR LIK AND DISLIK THE BEDROOM, REARCH AND TTIMONY SUGGTS IS NOT THAT SIMPLE. EVEN AMONG THE RELATIVELY SMALL SAMPLG OF TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS I TERVIEWED, MOST NFSED THEY’D ONLY TRIED THE OPPOSG POSN ONCE OR A FEW {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INTRIGUED, I ASKED HART IF HE THKS SOCIAL PRSUR MIGHT ECLIPSE ONE’S ACTUAL ENJOYMENT THEIR INTI. HE SAYS IS LIKELY TE FOR A LOT OF MEN. “IF A GUY HAS NCERNS ABOUT KEEPG ERECTNS OR ABOUT PLEASURG HIS PARTNER AS A TOP, HE IS UNLIKELY TO TOP. THIS IS ALSO THE SE FOR GUYS WHO’VE BEEN TOLD THEY AREN’T GREAT AT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}STRIPPED OF ALL NUANCE, NVENTNAL IAS OF WHAT IS “MASCULE” APPEAR TO PLAY A LARGE ROLE HOW QUEER MEN HAVE SEX. WHETHER THIS MANIFTS OUR NFINCE, OUR PERCEPTN OF SIZE, OR THE REPERCSNS OF A PAST PARTNER'S OWN TERNALIZED BIAS, SEEMS MOST OF ARE WILLG AND OPEN TO BE MORE VERSATILE. WE JT LACK THE SELF-ASSURANCE TO ACT ON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AT THE END OF THE DAY, SEX IS BT WHEN YOU DO WHAT MAK YOU MOST FORTABLE, SO SET BOUNDARI AND DO YOU. BUT PERHAPS THE RMATN ABOVE WILL MAKE SOME RENSIR WHY THEY AREN’T OPEN TO EXPERIENCG A FULLER SPECTM OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}LOVE AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

”Miller argu that gay men should exame their relatnship wh power. But I believe that many gay men pick one si, stick to , and that some of those dividuals choose toppg—you’ll have seen their profil markg them as “masc dom tops” on the apps—bee of s ti to tradnal Miller explas, there are outsi forc that, datg back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men om tly diggg to what sexual behavrs we might actually enjoy. “What I mean by that, ” he says, “is that cultural forc wh the gay muny prize toppg over bottomg.

“Wh bottomg there is the perceptn that you're givg up your masculy bee receivg a penis is somethg that women do, ” Miller Chris Whe, an expert health promotn and the director and prcipal vtigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network San Francis, tak this one step further. ”To be (fucked) or not to be (fucked) shouldn’t always be the qutnAcrdg to a 2011 study by The Journal of Sexual Medice that surveyed 25, 000 gay men Ameri about their last sexual enunters, only 36 percent said they had bottomed and 34 percent said they had, realy, we’re not actually fuckg all that much. It’s been known for a while that tak ls than a send for people to e their ternal “gaydar” to ci if they thk a man is homosexual or heterosexual, and such snap judgements tend to be right.

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

But n facial differenc be ed to distguish between different typ of gay men — specifilly, those who fe themselv as “tops” vers “bottoms”?

The participants were asked to look at 200 photographs of gay men found on an onle datg se (100 tops, 100 bottoms) and tegorize them as tops or bottoms. ”Accurate Intifitn of a Preference for Insertive Vers Receptive Interurse om Static Facial Cu of Gay Men“In terurse between men, one of the partners typilly assum the role of an sertive partner (top) while the other assum a receptive role (bottom). Although some rearch suggts that the perceptns of potential partners’ sexual rol gay men’s relatnships n affect whether a man will adopt the role of top or bottom durg sexual terurse, remas unclear whether sexual rol uld be perceived accurately by naïve observers.

While not everyone subscrib to those labels, for many queer people, and pecially gay men, llg yourself a top, bottom, or vers n be a way to help fd potential partners and hookups. The nonbary actor and mol posted an Instagram story back 2020 showg a "gay stg alignment chart" wh a red arrow potg towards the "top" posn and the words "this is how I was stg when I read this meme. Grdr has released statistics om the sexual explos of the lns of gay, bi, trans, and queer folks who e the app each month to reveal which untri have the most tops, bottoms, and versas.