Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• AM I GAY OR NOT QUIZ?
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• AM I GAY?
• AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex.

AM I GAY OR NOT QUIZ?

Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia. I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.

I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man. They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight.

Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg. Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

Wh this tt, you n fd out where you lie on the spectm of heterosexual, homosexual, allosexual, and asexual. Jt for funI'm spic that I may be gayI've never had a csh on anyone, and am unsure where I lie on the spectm of sexualyWhat would your ial partner be if you two are gog to spend a week on an island?

Havg sex wh the person I love mostCuddlg wh the person I love mostJt beg next to the person I love mostHangg out wh iends / beg aloneHow would you feel if your bt iend me out as gay? Sce 1975, APA has lled on psychologists to take the lead removg the stigma of mental illns that has long been associated wh lbian, gay, and bisexual orientatns.

AM I GAY?

The prejudice and discrimatn that people who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual regularly experience have been shown to have negative psychologil effects.

This page provis accurate rmatn for those who want to better unrstand sexual orientatn and the impact of prejudice and discrimatn on those who intify as lbian, gay, or bisexual. In the Uned Stat the most equent labels are lbians (women attracted to women), gay men (men attracted to men), and bisexual people (men or women attracted to both sex).

People n be celibate and still know their sexual orientatn—be lbian, gay, bisexual, or heterosexual. Different lbian, gay, and bisexual people have very different experienc regardg their sexual orientatn. Some people know that they are lbian, gay, or bisexual for a long time before they actually pursue relatnships wh other people.

AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?

Prejudice and discrimatn make difficult for many people to e to terms wh their sexual orientatn inti, so claimg a lbian, gay, or bisexual inty may be a slow procs. There is no nsens among scientists about the exact reasons that an dividual velops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lbian orientatn. Lbian, gay, and bisexual people the Uned Stat enunter extensive prejudice, discrimatn, and vlence bee of their sexual orientatn.

Intense prejudice agast lbians, gay men, and bisexual people was wispread throughout much of the 20th century. Public opn studi over the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s routely showed that, among large segments of the public, lbian, gay, and bisexual people were the target of strongly held negative attus.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

More recently, public opn has creasgly opposed sexual orientatn discrimatn, but exprsns of hostily toward lbians and gay men rema mon ntemporary Amerin society. In fact, bisexual dividuals may face discrimatn om some lbian and gay people as well as om heterosexual people.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

Severe antigay prejudice is reflected the high rate of harassment and vlence directed toward lbian, gay, and bisexual dividuals Amerin society. Numero surveys dite that verbal harassment and abe are nearly universal experienc among lbian, gay, and bisexual people. Also, discrimatn agast lbian, gay, and bisexual people employment and hog appears to rema wispread.

The HIV/AIDS panmic is another area which prejudice and discrimatn agast lbian, gay, and bisexual people have had negative effects. Early the panmic, the assumptn that HIV/AIDS was a “gay disease” ntributed to the lay addrsg the massive social upheaval that AIDS would generate. The associatn of HIV/AIDS wh gay and bisexual men and the accurate belief that some people held that all gay and bisexual men were fected served to further stigmatize lbian, gay, and bisexual people.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

On the social level, prejudice and discrimatn agast lbian, gay, and bisexual people are reflected the everyday stereotyp of members of the groups.

The stereotyp persist even though they are not supported by evince, and they are often ed to exce unequal treatment of lbian, gay, and bisexual people. For example, limatns on job opportuni, parentg, and relatnship regnn are often jtified by stereotypic assumptns about lbian, gay, and bisexual people.