How to Cope When You're Gay and Lonely | GQ

Contents:

• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY
• GAY, MIDDLE-AGED, AND LONELY AS HELL
• 17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)
• SAVAGE LOVE: I AM A LONELY, AGG GAY MAN; WHAT SHOULD I DO?
• A GAY MAN AT MIDLIFE PONRS BEG LONELY AND ‘INVISIBLE’

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY

Part of realizg you're gay, or bi, or trans, or non-bary, or anythg other than cisgenr and heterosexual is acceptg you’re different—and somewhat separated—om the majory. Here he shar his journey to overe the sense of isolatn he felt growg up gay a small U. At the time, there were no real gay role mols except for Graham Norton and Jack om Dawson's Creek—and I certaly didn't intify wh him bee I wasn't a football player.

I felt like I was pletely on my rried on until I was 16, when I started gog out to gay bars my hometown. I ma one gay iend, who I'm actually close to now. For the first time I've been able to form a good group of gay iends and create my own support work.

I'd go on gay chatrooms but that was jt a facels nversatn wh someone who uld have been anyone. I thk if I'd had iends who were gay when I was growg up, my life would have been so different.

GAY, MIDDLE-AGED, AND LONELY AS HELL

I now know there were other kids at my school who were gay, but they didn't e out till much later. Q: I am a gay man my late 50s and have never been a relatnship. —Lonely Agg Gay.

Hobb is a reporter for HuffPost and recently wrote a mi-book-length piece tled “Together Alone: The Epimic of Gay Lonels. ” Durg his rearch, Hobb found that, spe growg legal and social acceptance, a worryg percentage of gay men still stggle wh prsn, anxiety, and suicidal iatn.

17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)

“LAG isn’t the only gay guy who has aged out of the bar scene—so have I—and stggl to fd sex and pannship away om alhol and right swip, ” said Hobb. Q: I’m a fortysomethg gay male. I see others, gay and straight, havg long-term relatnships, gettg engaged, gettg married, and mak me sad and jealo.

“At every age, every study, gay men are ls likely to be partnered, habg, or married than our straight and lbian unterparts. And ’s not jt gay men. Q: I am a 55-year-old gay male.

SAVAGE LOVE: I AM A LONELY, AGG GAY MAN; WHAT SHOULD I DO?

“Am I gay? Beg gay is really no big al.

A GAY MAN AT MIDLIFE PONRS BEG LONELY AND ‘INVISIBLE’

It’s the twenty first century and if someone’s gog to be a judgmental ltle hoe, then they don’t serve to be your v gay life.

So if you n relate to the signs then you’re actually gay (you jt don’t know yet).

One of your top ten experienc was at a Pri para where you were surround by the most tertg, fun strangers you have ever enuntered, and no one you knew was there to judge you, or the only people you knew there were gay.