I married a gay man | SELF

i married a gay man

Jt when I felt nfint enough to date aga, I thought I had met Mr. Right. He turned out to be hidg a major secret (he was gay), and my heart was broken aga.

Contents:

I’M A STRAIGHT WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GAY MAN

He’s also always been hont about beg gay and has never hidn om me.

Our son took the news very well and don’t re that his father was gay. I’ve asked my hband about , and he nfirms that he’s gay, not bisexual.

I MARRIED A GAY MAN

I have doubts that he might leave me someday for a gay relatnship like he did his ex-wife. Would you nsir him bisexual or gay?

I thk your hband que clearly nsirs himself gay, which is far more relevant to your marriage than my asssment of his sense of self.

The qutn of how he se his gayns relatn to his two marriag to women, specifilly his current marriage to you, is both more salient and open-end, so I’d suggt you start by askg him to share more of his thoughts on the subject wh you. That will get you a lot further than tryg to figure out if your hband is “really” bisexual (and, implicly, whether that means you n safely hope he won’t leave you for someone else) or “really” gay (and, implicly, whether you have to fear that he’s gog to break up wh you for another man).

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

” His gayns isn’t somethg you n ntralize by beg a sufficiently good or extra-lovg wife. "It's nobody that I knew� was mostly oral sex� jt happened� At gay bars, there are back rooms wh hol the walls�" A wave of nsea swept over me as I listened to his agonized nfsn. At that moment, I felt as if I were standg alone the world, stripped of all digny, wh a big sign on me that read movie Brokeback Mounta turned a spotlight on gay men who lead double liv, havg sex wh other men while they are married to women.

That means there are a large number of women who have no ia what their hband do perdilly see stori about married men public life who are gay or have been implited homosexual behavr—such as Senator Larry Craig (R—Idaho), who was arrted last summer for allegedly solicg a male police officer an airport bathroom, and former New Jersey ernor Jam McGreevey, who proclaimed that he was a "gay Amerin" when he announced his rignatn om office.

Bee I've lived are so many obv qutns for a wife like me: Didn't I realize he was gay? Early our relatnship, Chris told me he'd had homosexual experienc as a teenager but assured me was youthful cursy.

THE DEVASTATG WAY I DISVERED I MARRIED A GAY MAN

I didn't thk there was anythg wrong wh beg gay—I have an openly gay . But I also didn't believe that a gay man would ever be attracted to a straight woman, and I was naive—too naive to see why a homosexual man would marry and spend years lyg to his wife, his iends, his fay and begngI was a 19-year-old llege hman Kentucky when I met Chris. Chris's father was a Southern Baptist mister who preached fire and brimstone, and Chris was tght that beg gay was the ultimate s—an absolute sentence to unual thgs happened on our first date.

Then, after he kissed me good-night, he shocked me aga, sayg, "No matter what you hear, I'm not gay. " In fact, I had heard other stunts say that everyone his aterny was gay. But the world we lived , people often claimed a guy was gay if he wasn't a jock or really macho, so I didn't want to judge someone bee of who his iends were and what he did.

SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON

Bis, he'd taken a girl—me—out on a date, so how uld he be gay?

At a party wh his work iends, I got to an argument wh a woman who'd been drkg, and she said, out of the blue, "Well, at least my hband's not gay. Later that eveng, when I told Chris what happened, he remd me that he'd always been teased about beg gay, but he assured me, "It's not te.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* I MARRIED A GAY MAN

'Did I ever really know him?': the women who married gay men | LGBTQ+ rights | The Guardian .

TOP