The Ways Gay Men Are More Mascule Than They Realize | Psychology Today

Contents:

• LS OF A MAN? MASCULE HONOR BELIEFS FLUENCE PERCEPTNS OF HYPOTHETIL SONS (AND THEIR FATHERS) G OUT AS GAY
• THE WAYS GAY MEN ARE MORE MASCULE THAN THEY REALIZE
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• WHEN TO PROSTATE NCER, 'GAY MEN ARE ERASED,' PATIENTS SAY

LS OF A MAN? MASCULE HONOR BELIEFS FLUENCE PERCEPTNS OF HYPOTHETIL SONS (AND THEIR FATHERS) G OUT AS GAY

The quot scribe the ia of gay men beg perceived as feme and, therefore, not ftg to the genr norms of masculy and domance that men are expected to uphold wh society (Kilianski, 2003; Lobel, 1994; Parrott et al., 2008). Sce gay men have generally been viewed negatively throughout history (often stereotyped as feme and ls of a man), many straight men thk that beg perceived as gay is one of the biggt threats to their reputatn and masculy (Kilianski, 2003; Major et al., 1981; Parrott et al., 2008). Prev rearch suggts that while more religly fundamental and nservative iologi are associated wh a lack-of-support for gay people (Barn & Meyer, 2012; Lneman, 2004; Luguri et al., 2012; Rosik et al., 2007; Whley, 2009; Worthen et al., 2017), men are substantially ls likely than women to be favor of gay marriage wh a 7% difference support between men and women (Hall & La France, 2013; PRRI, 2020).

The genred differenc support levels are likely attributed to straight men not wantg to support gay men out of fear of beg perceived as gay themselv (Diefendorf & Bridg, 2020; Herek, 1988; Kane, 2006; Kilianski, 2003; Parrott et al., 2008; Sánchez et al., 2009). Expandg on prev rearch, we ran two studi to exame how mascule honor beliefs (a socially based reputatnal dividual difference variable; see Cohen & Nisbett, 1994; Cohen et al., 1996; O'Dea et al., 2017, O’Dea et al., 2018, O’Dea et al., 2019; Scier et al., 2018; Schiffer et al., 2020; Chalman et al., 2021) fluence perceptns of men's sons a hypothetil vigte-scenar g out as gay. Addnally, through another hypothetil vigte-scenar, we examed how third-party observers (participants) would perceive the father's rponse to his son g out as gay the vigte (supportg or rejectg him) and if a third-party observer would perceive the hypothetil father more negatively after learng that his son is gay.

Some other men often try to prove their masculy through behavrs such as braggg about sexual enunters wh women, engagg sexual acts wh women, participatg rough sports, and displayg acts of homophobia (Kroeper et al., 2014; Vanllo et al., 2008; Vanllo & Bosson, 2013), men adhere to the iology that one's manhood is prer and, therefore, feel the need to enforce and fend their masculy often hold higher levels of sexual prejudice and anti-gay attus (Falomir-Pichastor & Mugny, 2009; Kroeper et al., 2014). This behavr stems om the stereotyped-belief that gay men are ls mascule and, therefore, ls of a man (Falomir-Pichastor et al., 2019; Falomir-Pichastor & Mugny, 2009). Therefore, our studi, we examed the rol of both sexual prejudice and mascule honor beliefs predictg perceptns of hypothetil sons (and fathers of sons) who e out as gay, primarily g sexually prejudiced attus as a ntrol variable to see how much mascule honor uniquely predicted attus toward hypothetil sons (and their fathers) men Amerin society have been stereotyped to be feme and not as tough or strong as straight men (Blaza & Watks, 2000; Glick et al., 2007; Lobel, 1994; Major et al., 1981; Parrott, 2009).

THE WAYS GAY MEN ARE MORE MASCULE THAN THEY REALIZE

Due to the negative perceptns many people have toward gay men, many straight men who hold their masculy and strength to a high level of importance often feel the need to distance themselv om, or sult, gay men g anti-gay slurs to fend their own masculy (Bosson et al., 2009; Bosson & Vanllo, 2011; Gul & Uskul, 2020; Hunt et al., 2016; Parrott, 2009; Vanllo & Bosson, 2013). Ined, if a man do not adhere to tradnal genr norms created by society, people often assume he mt be gay (Diefendorf & Bridg, 2020; Hunt et al., 2016) hegemonic perspective has created a cultural iology that rerc the ia that male tras are nsired preferable society over feme tras (Diefendorf & Bridg, 2020; Kilianski, 2003) wh men often seekg societal domance over, or distance om, women and effemate men (Bucher, 2014; Connell & Mserschmidt, 2005; Diefendorf & Bridg, 2020; Kilianski, 2003; Parrott et al., 2015).

Sectn snippetsCurrent studi overviewExpandg on prev rearch, we examed how men higher mascule honor beliefs would perceive their hypothetil son g out as gay (Study 1) and how third-party observers perceive a hypothetil father whose son out as gay (Study 2). Consistent wh prev rearch, weStudy 1In Study 1, we examed how mascule honor beliefs would fluence the support or rejectn a father would have toward his son g out as gay. We hypothized that, while men higher mascule honor beliefs would have more negative perceptns of their son g out regardls of their exprsed masculy or femy, the relatnship and teractn between mascule honor andStudy 2In Study 2, we examed how dividual levels of mascule honor beliefs fluence third party observers' perceptns of a father and his son after his son out as gay.

Consistent wh Study 1 and our origal hypoth, we predicted that third-party observers higher mascule honor iologi would have more negative perceptns of the son and father after the son tells the father that he is gay.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

Addnally, we predicted that the third-party observers would be more favor of aDiscsnWe examed the relatnships between mascule honor beliefs, sexual prejudice, and perceptns of a son (and their fathers) after the son out as gay to his father.

Study 1 examed the levels of support or rejectn a father would have toward his son after he me out as gay and measured whether the perceived masculy or femy of the son would fluence acceptance. Study 2 examed the perceptns a third-party observer would have toward both a father and son after the son meConclnAcross 2 studi, we examed how men higher mascule honor beliefs would react to their son g out as gay and how third-party observers would perceive both the son and the father of the gay son.

We hypothized that higher levels of mascule honor beliefs would be posively associated wh negative perceptns of gay sons, higher expectatns for the father to reject the son's sexual orientatn, and more negative perceptns of fathers of gay sons. Gay men are liable to feel credibly secure over their masculy, a kd of ternalized homophobia that leads them to idolize 'masc 4 masc', 'gaybros' and [to] shame and opprs femme men. When you look at the tras and behavrs historilly intified wh masculy, subtractg s most nox and ultimately dysfunctnal forms, gay men embody them ways that have gone unregnized.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

Whether straight or gay, the male body produc 10-20 tim more ttosterone than the female body; builds our mcl, grows hair on our fac and chts, epens our voic, and affects our behavr. In a way that may at first seem untertuive, the gay man who draws attentn to himself by flagrantly drsg drag is behavg an extremely manly way by seekg drama.

I spect the difference gay and straight petivens n be attributed to how the study operatnalized that term: Anyone who thks that gay men aren’t highly petive has spent ltle time wh our muny. In The Velvet Rage, Alan Downs scrib life San Francis and regular viss to the Napa Valley hom of wealthy gay men he knew, each hoe more betiful than the last, the elegant dner parti that took days to prepare, their fabulo vatns, llectns of artwork, cloth, fy pools, and so on. Gay petivens and the way we sometim build our own self-teem at the expense of others leads to cliqu and sub-groups based on body type or social stat; n flict feelgs of shame for those who are left out – for “femm” who aren’t “masc” enough, for those who fall short of the “A Gay” list, for those ma to feel that they are losers.

” Ls is, of urse, yet another portra of a melancholy, well-off whe gay man — a foc which, when handled simplistilly, n feel a ltle rctive and narrow the broar missn to improve LGBTQ reprentatn fictn. Ls — the novel, not the man — is a Trojan horse, exposg the bld spots of the whe gay experience through an exploratn of the “plights” of a blond-haired, blue-eyed, past-his-prime twk. Movg to the mec of San Francis after llege, Ls was taken unr the wg of geni poet Robert Brownburn, an olr, wiser gay man who pampered him, showed him the queer rop, and unrstood when he evably left for someone younger.

WHEN TO PROSTATE NCER, 'GAY MEN ARE ERASED,' PATIENTS SAY

There’s some tth to this faça the whe gay male experience, where intifyg as LGBT — but rarely queer — is an opportuny to check off the mory box and eva cricism agast the whe patriarchy. He gratuoly rms a downtrodn Ls that his lack of lastg lerary succs isn’t bee he’s a bad wrer; ’s that his work don’t meet the gay non’s duty to provi spirg narrativ.

But the novel and s bumblg leadg man also serve as a potent remr to me and other young whe gay men that our journeys, while valid, are plagued wh self-importance. As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard.