For lbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgenr people, realizg their sexual orientatn or genr inty and sharg that rmatn wh fay
Contents:
- CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
- WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX
- YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD
CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
Many young men intify as mostly straight — a sexual orientatn that is not que straight but also, they say, ls gay than bisexualy * gay experience but not gay *
So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label.
Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia. I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.
WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX
Unrstand health ncerns for gay men and other men who have sex wh men, and learn how to promote good health. * gay experience but not gay *
They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight. Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg.
YOU’RE NOT GAY: HOMOSEXUALY ANXIETY OCD
My last post scribed a populatn of mal who nsir themselv heterosexual, do not label themselv gay or bisexual, chew volvement wh the LGBT muny, are often married or romantilly volved wh an oppose-sex partner, and who engage sex wh mal or exprs the sire to do so. Due large part to the popularizatn of the topic the btsellg 2005 book On the Down Low: A Journey to the Liv of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep wh Men,[i] Lato and Ain-Amerin men are the primary subjects rearch wh non-gay intified MSM. One of the earlit studi, "The Bisexual and Non-Gay Attached Rearch Project" om the early 1990s, found that participants engagg same-sex sexual behavr but not intifyg as gay or bisexual scribed themselv as “kky,” “normal,” or “jt a guy.”[iii] A much more recent 2010 study nsisted of terviews wh heterosexually intified men who had engaged sexual activy wh another male the prev year; participants did not nsir this activy as discrepant wh their inty.
In tally, the men terviewed reported that if sexual activy between men was anonymo, experimental, ocsnal, or if substance e was volved, the act was not “gay.”.