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Polikoff</a> and <a href="/ntributors/From+The+Book+Beyond+%28Straight+And+Gay%29+Marriage" class="font-semibold text-gray-500 hover:text-primary">From The Book Beyond (Straight And Gay) Marriage</a></span></div> </div> <div class="mt-4 w-48 mx-to"> <div class="grid grid-ls-4 md:grid-ls-5 gap-1 prt:hidn"> <a href="mailto:?subject=It’s Not a Gay Thg…& rel="noopener" class="flex ems-center jtify-center bg-[#5fb281] hover:bg-[#5fb281] hover:bg-opacy-75 text-whe p-1 round-full w-7"> <span class="sr-only">Email</span> <svg class="w-5 h-5 md:w-5.5 md:h-5.5" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns="><path stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" stroke-width="2" d="M3 8l7.89 5.26a2 2 0 002.22 0L21 8M5 19h14a2 2 0 002-2V7a2 2 0 00-2-2H5a2 2 0 00-2 2v10a2 2 0 002 2z"></path></svg> </a> <a href=" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="ems-center jtify-center bg-[#5b8cba] hover:bg-[#5b8cba] hover:bg-opacy-75 text-whe p-1 round-full hidn md:flex w-7"> <span class="sr-only">Prt</span> <svg class="w-5 h-5 md:w-5.5 md:h-5.5 text-[#5b8cba] hover:text-[#5b8cba]" fill="transparent" stroke="#fff" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns="><path stroke-lep="round" stroke-lejo="round" stroke-width="2" d="M17 17h2a2 2 0 002-2v-4a2 2 0 00-2-2H5a2 2 0 00-2 2v4a2 2 0 002 2h2m2 4h6a2 2 0 002-2v-4a2 2 0 00-2-2H9a2 2 0 00-2 2v4a2 2 0 002 2zm8-12V5a2 2 0 00-2-2H9a2 2 0 00-2 2v4h10z"></path></svg> </a> <a href=" target="_blank" rel="noopener" class="flex ems-center jtify-center text-[#1877F2] hover:text-[#1877F2] hover:text-opacy-75"> <span class="sr-only">Facebook</span> <svg class="w-6 h-6 md:w-7 md:h-7" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns="><tle>Facebook</tle><path d="M24 12.073c0-6.627-5.373-12-12-12s-12 5.373-12 12c0 5.99 4.388 10.954 10.125 11.854v-8.385H7.078v-3.47h3.047V9.43c0-3.007 1.792-4.669 4.533-4.669 1.312 0 2.686.235 2.686.235v2.953H15.83c-1.491 0-1.956.925-1.956 1.874v2.25h3.328l-.532 3.47h-2.796v8.385C19.612 23.027 24 18.062 24 12.073z"/></svg> </a> <a href="// Not a Gay Thg…" data-p-do="buttonP" data-p-ctom="te" class="flex ems-center jtify-center text-[#BD081C] hover:text-[#BD081C] hover:text-opacy-75"> <span class="sr-only">Ptert</span> <svg class="w-6 h-6 md:w-7 md:h-7" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns="><path d="M12.017 0C5.396 0 .029 5.367.029 11.987c0 5.079 3.158 9.417 7.618 11.162-.105-.949-.199-2.403.041-3.439.219-.937 1.406-5.957 1.406-5.957s-.359-.72-.359-1.781c0-1.663.967-2.911 2.168-2.911 1.024 0 1.518.769 1.518 1.688 0 1.029-.653 2.567-.992 3.992-.285 1.193.6 2.165 1.775 2.165 2.128 0 3.768-2.245 3.768-5.487 0-2.861-2.063-4.869-5.008-4.869-3.41 0-5.409 2.562-5.409 5.199 0 1.033.394 2.143.889 2.741.099.12.112.225.085.345-.09.375-.293 1.199-.334 1.363-.053.225-.172.271-.401.165-1.495-.69-2.433-2.878-2.433-4.646 0-3.776 2.748-7.252 7.92-7.252 4.158 0 7.392 2.967 7.392 6.923 0 4.135-2.607 7.462-6.233 7.462-1.214 0-2.354-.629-2.758-1.379l-.749 2.848c-.269 1.045-1.004 2.352-1.498 3.146 1.123.345 2.306.535 3.55.535 6.607 0 11.985-5.365 11.985-11.987C23.97 5.39 18.592.026 11.985.026L12.017 0z"/></svg> </a> <a href=" Not a Gay Thg… class="flex ems-center jtify-center text-[#1DA1F2] hover:text-[#1DA1F2] hover:text-opacy-75"> <span class="sr-only">Twter</span> <svg class="w-6 h-6 md:w-7 md:h-7" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns="><tle>Twter</tle><path d="M23.953 4.57a10 10 0 01-2.825.775 4.958 4.958 0 002.163-2.723c-.951.555-2.005.959-3.127 1.184a4.92 4.92 0 00-8.384 4.482C7.69 8.095 4.067 6.13 1.64 3.162a4.822 4.822 0 00-.666 2.475c0 1.71.87 3.213 2.188 4.096a4.904 4.904 0 01-2.228-.616v.06a4.923 4.923 0 003.946 4.827 4.996 4.996 0 01-2.212.085 4.936 4.936 0 004.604 3.417 9.867 9.867 0 01-6.102 2.105c-.39 0-.779-.023-1.17-.067a13.995 13.995 0 007.557 2.209c9.053 0 13.998-7.496 13.998-13.985 0-.21 0-.42-.015-.63A9.935 9.935 0 0024 4.59z"/></svg> </a></div> </div> </div> <div class="max-w-8xl mx-to px-6 lg:px-8 grid grid-ls-1 md:grid-ls-[1,300px] gap-6"> <div class="l-span-1 md:l-span-to"> <div class="w-full"> <div class="w-full"></div><div class="w-full mb-8"><div class="sgle_article_image_wrap round-b-lg"><div class="sgle_article_image_wi lg:!w-1/2 lg:!mx-to"> <img width="275" height="225" class="lazy round-lg" data-src=" srcset=" 480w, 1000w, 4000w" alt="article image"/> <div class="photo_cred"><span>image by Rachel Ann Ldsay</span></div> </div></div></div> </div> <article id="article_ntent" class="prose prose-primary prose-base md:prose-lg prose-headgs:font-semibold prt:prose-sm text-[#222222] marker:text-[#222222] max-w-none mx-to lg:mx-36"> <p><em>This article is part of a package on rethkg marriage. For more read</em><a href="><em>…or is ?</em></a>—<em>ttimonials and portras om same-sex upl nied the benefs of marriage.</em></p><p>A nsumer of current news might image that accs to same-sex marriage is the most ntted issue ntemporary fay policy, and that marriage is the only cure for the disadvantag lbian and gay fai face. Both of the observatns would be wrong. The most ntted issue ntemporary fay policy is whether married-uple fai should have “special rights” not available to other fay forms. Exclud fai clu unmarried upl of any sexual orientatn, sgle-parent hoeholds, extend-fay uns, and any other nstellatn of dividuals who form relatnships of emotnal and enomic terpennce that do not nform to the one-size-fs-all marriage mol. No other Wtern untry, cludg those that allow same-sex upl to marry, creat the rigid dividg le between the law for the married and the law for the unmarried that exists the Uned Stat.</p><p>I propose fay law reform that would regnize all fai’ worth. Marriage as a fay form is not more important or more valuable than other forms of fay, so the law should not give more value. Coupl should have the choice to marry based on the spirual, cultural, or relig meang of marriage their liv; they should never have to marry to reap specific and unique legal benefs. I support the right to marry for same-sex upl as a matter of civil rights law. But I oppose discrimatn agast upl who do not marry, and I advote solutns to the needs all fai have for enomic well-beg, legal regnn, emotnal peace of md, and muny rpect.</p><p>Bonnie Cord graduated om law school and began workg at a ernment agency. She bought a home wh her male partner the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountas Virgia. When she applied to take the Virgia bar exam–a tt necsary to obta the right to practice law the state–a judge led that her unmarried habatn ma her morally unf to do so.</p><p>Catra Grav was drivg her r behd a motorcycle driven by Brett Ennis, the man wh whom she had been livg for seven years. A r failed to stop at a stop sign and h Brett’s motorcycle; Brett was thrown onto the pavement. Catra saw the accint, stopped her r, and ran to Brett, who had suffered trma to his head and was bleedg om the mouth. He died the next day. When Catra sued the driver for negligent flictn of emotnal distrs, the urt dismissed her lawsu bee she was not related to Brett by blood or marriage.</p><p>Olivia Shelltrack and Fondray Lovg had lived together for 13 years when they bought a five-bedroom home Black Jack, Missouri. They moved wh their two children and a third child om Olivia’s prev relatnship. The cy nied them an occupancy perm bee s zong laws prohib more than three people unrelated by blood, marriage, or adoptn om livg together.</p><p>The are heterosexual upl and they uld marry. But they shouldn’t have to. Bonnie’s choice to live wh an unmarried partner bore no relatnship to her abily to practice law. Catra’s anguish would have been no different had Brett been her spoe. The proper zong ncerns of Black Jack, Missouri, do not turn on whether Olivia and Fondray marry.</p><p>Extendg legal rights and obligatns to unmarried upl, as many Wtern untri do, is a start, but is not enough. “Coupl,” meang two people wh a mment ground on a sexual affiliatn, should not be the only un that unts as fay.</p><p>Consir the exampl:</p><p>As a foster child, Jason was placed wh married parents, Daniel and Mary Lou, who divorced two years later. Jason then lived wh Mary Lou and vised Daniel, who also paid child support. When Mary Lou and Daniel petned to adopt Jason, the urt led that unmarried adults uld not adopt a child together.</p><p>Two sisters England, Joyce, 88, and Sybil, 80, have lived together all their liv. They grew up on a 30-acre farm and worked on the land. They moved away for about 15 years but returned 1965, built a home on the land, and leased the farm. They live off the rental e. Each has a will namg the other as beneficiary. When the first sister di, the 40 percent herance tax will make necsary for the survivor to sell the land and move. The survivor of a heterosexual married uple or a registered same-sex civil partnership would not have to pay this tax.</p><p>Maria Sierotowicz, 59, had been livg the same one-bedroom subsidized hog un Brooklyn sce 1984. Her mother, who lived wh her, passed away 1990. Ten years later, her 81-year-old father returned to the Uned Stat om Poland and moved wh her so that she uld re for him. Maria followed procr and requted that he receive permissn to jo her Sectn 8 hoehold. Her requt was nied bee he wasn’t her spoe and his prence would make her un “overcrowd.” Maria received a notice termatg her Sectn 8 subsidy.</p><p>Marriage nnot be the solutn to the problems. Jason’s parents tried marriage; didn’t work for them. They need to be able to adopt Jason as two unmarried parents (if a judge fds that such an adoptn is Jason’s bt terts). Sybil and Joyce are a fay, but not a fay based on marriage or even on a marriage-like relatnship. They are a long-term, terpennt un, and they need–perhaps more than many spo do–the fancial advantag currently extend only to spo. If Maria had married, her hband tomatilly would have received permissn to live wh her. Instead she wants to re for someone who is unable to re for himself. She needs occupancy l that do not stand her way.</p><p>It is possible to envisn fay law and policy whout marriage beg the rigid dividg le between who is and who is out. Keepg the state out of marriage entirely, makg marriage only a relig, cultural, and spirual matter, would be one way to acplish this. But the law would still have to terme how to allote rights and rponsibili fai and when relatnships among people would create entlements or obligatns.</p><p> This necsy, upled wh the disptn of expectatns that endg the state’s volvement marriage would produce, suggts another approach.</p><p>I ll this approach valug all fai. The most important element implementg this approach is intifyg the purpose of a law that now grants marriage unique legal nsequenc. By unrstandg a law’s purpose, we n intify the relatnships that would further that purpose whout creatg a special stat for married upl.</p><p>Sweepg legal chang the late 1960s and early 1970s altered the signifince of marriage and laid the groundwork for a more pluralistic visn. Those chang grew out of cultural and polil shifts, cludg femism and other social-change movements; greater accs to birth ntrol and acceptance of sex outsi marriage; and creased dissatisfactn wh marriage. The legal chang clud creased penalti on nonmaral sex, pecially an end to discrimatn agast children born to unmarried mothers; equaly between the sex; and no-flt divorce.</p><p>Early advot of gay and lbian rights fed allianc wh others who challenged the primacy of marriage: divorced and never-married mothers, cludg those receivg welfare benefs; unmarried hetero­sexuals, both those nscly rejectg the baggage associated wh marriage and those who simply did not marry; and nonnuclear uns, such as munal livg groups and extend fai.</p><p>The gay rights movement was part of broar social movements challengg the polil, enomic, and social stat quo and seekg to transform society to one which sex, race, class, sexual orientatn, and maral stat no longer termed one’s place the natn’s hierarchy. Marriage was losg s ironclad grip on the anizatn of fay life, and lbians and gay men benefed overwhelmgly om the prospect of a more pluralistic visn of relatnships.</p><p>There were setbacks. A backlash rulted rtrictns on women’s reproductive eedom, gay rights laws were repealed, and welfare mothers were sold out. Conservativ employed the rhetoric of “tradnal fay valu” to fight any proposal advancg regnn and acceptance of lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) people, and ed antigay propaganda to raise money and garner vot for a wi-rangg nservative agenda.</p><p>Sce the mid-1990s, two movements born of this history have placed marriage the public policy spotlight. The “marriage movement”–wh both relig and secular ponents–oppos not only regnn of LGBT fai but also easily obtaed divorce, childbearg and sex outsi marriage, and sex tn that teach anythg other than abstence. It advot ernment fundg of “marriage promotn” efforts. Its most proment relign-based groups are Foc on the Fay and the Fay Rearch Council. They speak of fay and marriage as God-ordaed.</p><p>David Blankenhorn of the Instute for Amerin Valu and Maggie Gallagher of the Instute for Marriage and Public Policy are leadg spokpeople for the secular claim that supportg any fay form other than heterosexual marriage endangers the social fabric. By blamg poverty, crime, dg abe, and tn failure on fay diversy, they pot the fger at unmarried mothers and absolve ernment of the rponsibily for wage stagnatn, e equaly, poor schools, sex and race discrimatn, and aquate child re and health re. Legal groups such as the Alliance Defense Fund and Liberty Counsel reprent the posns ligatn. The missn of Liberty Counsel is “rtorg the culture one se at a time by advancg relig eedom, the sancty of human life, and the tradnal fay.”</p><p>The “marriage equaly” movement advot for gay and lbian upl to be able to marry. Attorney Evan Wolfson heads a natnal anizatn, Freedom to Marry, that has the support of numero partner anizatns, gay and nongay, at the natnal, state, and lol levels. Two natnal groups, the Human Rights Campaign and the Natnal Gay and Lbian Task Force, work to advance many LGBT rights issu and vote some of their rourc to marriage-related anizg and advocy. Four legal groups that challenge discrimatn agast LGBT people all areas, cludg employment, schools, immigratn, the ary, and fay law, have had primary rponsibily for the ligatn nttg rtrictns on accs to marriage: Lambda Legal (formerly known as Lambda Legal Defense and Edutn Fund); Gay & Lbian Advot & Defenrs, the Boston-based group that won the right to marriage equaly Massachetts; the Amerin Civil Liberti Unn Lbian Gay Bisexual Transgenr Project; and the Natnal Center for Lbian Rights.</p><p>Both the movements foc on marriage. Neher starts by intifyg what all fai need and then seekg jt laws and polici to meet those needs. The marriage movement’s leadg spokpeople argue that the trsic purpose of marriage is ung a man and a woman to raise their blogil children. They oppose marriage for same-sex upl and want marriage to have a special legal stat.</p><p>The marriage-equaly movement wants the benefs of marriage granted to a larger group: same-sex partners. Wh few exceptns, advot for gay and lbian accs to marriage do not say that “special rights” should be rerved for those who marry. But the marriage-equaly movement is a movement for gay civil rights, not for valug all fai. As a civil rights movement, seeks accs to marriage as now exists.</p><p>The movement’s most nsistent claim is that excln om marriage harms same-sex upl tangible ways. But people any relatnship other than marriage suffer, sometim to a level of enomic or emotnal vastatn. The law is not uniquely unfair for gay and lbian upl. Accs to marriage will provi some gay men and lbians wh the enomic support and peace of md that e om knowg that all your fay members have aquate health surance, that a loved one n make medil cisns for you if you are ill, that your enomic terpennce will be regnized at retirement or ath, and that your children n be proud of the fay they have. But other LGBT people, as well as those whose form of fay, for whatever reason, is not marriage, will still be whout those supports that every fay serv.</p><p>Laws that distguish between married upl and everyone else need to be reexamed. They stem om the days when a hband was the head of his hoehold wh a pennt wife at home, when a child born to an unmarried woman was a social outst, and when virtually every marriage was for life regardls of the relatnship’s qualy. It was a very different time.</p><p>When the Supreme Court clared the laws differentiatg between men/hbands and women/wiv unnstutnal the 1970s, the laws beme genr-ntral. This created a new problem. It left distctns between married upl and everyone else whout asssg the jtns of that approach. It’s time to make that asssment. Today more people live alone, more people live wh unmarried partners, and more parents have mor children who live neher wh them nor wh their current spoe. The laws that affect fai need to be evaluated light of ntemporary reali. A valug-all-fai approach do this by mandg a good f between a law’s purpose and the relatnships that are subject to s reach.</p><p>In every area of law that matters to same-sex upl, such as health re cisn makg, ernment and employee benefs, and the right to raise children, laws already exist some plac that uld form the basis for jt fay polici: for those who n’t marry or enter civil unns or register their domtic partnerships; those who don’t want to or who simply don’t; and those whose most important relatnship is not wh a sexual partner. The laws will help many fai, not jt LGBT on, and not jt upl.</p><p>Succsful reform that valu all fai may not e the name of gay rights. It may e unr the banner of, for example, patients’ tonomy, fay pluralism, or the needs of children. Some lawmakers will support important reforms precisely bee they help many people many fai and do not appear to be “gay rights” issu. In recent years, that motivatn has produced a Salt Lake Cy policy that extends health surance to any one adult member of an employee’s hoehold and that person’s children, a law Virgia requirg hospals to allow patients to select their own visors, and a change feral pensn law that allows any beneficiary to her retirement assets whout payg a tax penalty. In the sorts of s, gay rights lears rightly tmpet that they will help LGBT fai.</p><p>A strategy the name of gay rights toward regnn of same-sex partnerships, where is succsful, is a civil rights triumph. It may, however, have unfortunate nsequenc for fay policy. Same-sex upl will have the right to a formal legal stat for their relatnships; those who exercise that right will have the array of benefs that married spo now receive. This will disregard the needs of LGBT upl who don’t marry or register, LGBT sgl and hoeholds not anized around sexual timacy, LGBT parents whout partners, and the fai and relatnships of vast numbers of heterosexuals.</p><p>Where a gay rights strategy los and do not rult marriage, civil unns, or partnership registratn, the “special rights” given marriage will ntue to harm same-sex upl. Where a losg gay rights strategy rults a nstutnal amendment barrg regnn of unmarried same- and different-sex upl, as more than a dozen stat have, those upl may be worse off than they are now. That’s what happened Michigan, where public employe lost domtic partner benefs.</p><p>A valug-all-fai strategy achiev good rults, for good reasons, and mak marriage matter ls. That was the directn U.S. law and policy was head before the right-wg backlash agast femism, LGBT rights, and other progrsive social change. Today, that backlash clus the relig and secular marriage movement. Its emphasis on marriage should not lead gay rights activists away om advocy that will meet the needs of diverse fai and relatnships a pluralistic society.</p><p><i>Nancy D. Polikoff is a profsor of law at Amerin Universy Washgton College of Law. Her webse is <a tle=" href=" target="_blank"></a>. Excerpted om</i> Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valug All Fai Unr the Law<i>. Copyright © 2008 by Nancy D. Polikoff. 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it not a gay thing

If you have socks on ’s not gay, bee you’re not mted to the act. But if no socks are on then is gay bee you are mted to ." name="Dcriptn" property="og:scriptn

Contents:

IT’S NOT A GAY THG…

Fay law should regnize all fai’ worth: gay, straight, married, and unmarried. * it not a gay thing *

A nsumer of current news might image that accs to same-sex marriage is the most ntted issue ntemporary fay policy, and that marriage is the only cure for the disadvantag lbian and gay fai face. The legal chang clud creased penalti on nonmaral sex, pecially an end to discrimatn agast children born to unmarried mothers; equaly between the sex; and no-flt advot of gay and lbian rights fed allianc wh others who challenged the primacy of marriage: divorced and never-married mothers, cludg those receivg welfare benefs; unmarried heterosexuals, both those nscly rejectg the baggage associated wh marriage and those who simply did not marry; and nonnuclear uns, such as munal livg groups and extend gay rights movement was part of broar social movements challengg the polil, enomic, and social stat quo and seekg to transform society to one which sex, race, class, sexual orientatn, and maral stat no longer termed one’s place the natn’s hierarchy. Conservativ employed the rhetoric of “tradnal fay valu” to fight any proposal advancg regnn and acceptance of lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) people, and ed antigay propaganda to raise money and garner vot for a wi-rangg nservative the mid-1990s, two movements born of this history have placed marriage the public policy spotlight.

Two natnal groups, the Human Rights Campaign and the Natnal Gay and Lbian Task Force, work to advance many LGBT rights issu and vote some of their rourc to marriage-related anizg and advocy. Four legal groups that challenge discrimatn agast LGBT people all areas, cludg employment, schools, immigratn, the ary, and fay law, have had primary rponsibily for the ligatn nttg rtrictns on accs to marriage: Lambda Legal (formerly known as Lambda Legal Defense and Edutn Fund); Gay & Lbian Advot & Defenrs, the Boston-based group that won the right to marriage equaly Massachetts; the Amerin Civil Liberti Unn Lbian Gay Bisexual Transgenr Project; and the Natnal Center for Lbian the movements foc on marriage.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

Straight guys like to look at pretty thgs - gay guys aren't alone that by a long shot. * it not a gay thing *

Accs to marriage will provi some gay men and lbians wh the enomic support and peace of md that e om knowg that all your fay members have aquate health surance, that a loved one n make medil cisns for you if you are ill, that your enomic terpennce will be regnized at retirement or ath, and that your children n be proud of the fay they have. This will disregard the needs of LGBT upl who don’t marry or register, LGBT sgl and hoeholds not anized around sexual timacy, LGBT parents whout partners, and the fai and relatnships of vast numbers of a gay rights strategy los and do not rult marriage, civil unns, or partnership registratn, the “special rights” given marriage will ntue to harm same-sex upl. Where a losg gay rights strategy rults a nstutnal amendment barrg regnn of unmarried same- and different-sex upl, as more than a dozen stat have, those upl may be worse off than they are now.

IT'S NOT A GAY THG, IT'S A GUY THG

* it not a gay thing *

You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change. But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup.

IT IS ‘A GAY THG!’

I Am Not A Gay. Parody song lyrics for the song All The Thgs She Said by TATU * it not a gay thing *

Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to.

” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy. ”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns. “Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy.

” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame. ”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay.

SONG PARODI -> "I AM NOT A GAY"

Patrick Grzanka, Assistant Profsor of Psychology at Universy of Tennsee, for stance, has shown that some people who believe that homosexualy is nate still hold negative views of gays. In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance. “It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists.

Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins. And when I published my say on choosg to be gay, an irate Amerin lbian activist wrote me that had “jt been nfirmed” to her that my wrg was “directly rponsible for four gay aths Rsia.

There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure. The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors. ”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time.

” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way? Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at. ”The other problem wh Born This Way science is summed up nicely by Simon Copland: “Scientists are askg whether homosexualy is natural when we n’t even agree exactly what homosexualy is.

” Our sir may exprs themselv many different ways that do not all nform to existg notns of ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ is one of the bt takeaways of Ward’s Not Gay, a peratg analysis of sex between straight whe men.

"THAT'S SO GAY" IS JT SO WRONG

”Gay or not, our sir are oriented and re-oriented throughout our liv (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In fact, the straight-intified men Ward studied for her book sometim found themselv suatns that sparked the sire for homosexual sex: aterni, ployments, public rtrooms, etc. I’m claimg that at some pot durg llege, my sexual and romantic sir beme reoriented toward menThkg back to my llege romanc wh women and men, I n beg to unrstand how my own experienc might have helped me to ‘cultivate’ my sire for homosexualy. I want to be very clear: I’m not claimg I simply began to ‘grow to’ my homosexualy, or that as I beme more fortable wh beg gay, I allowed myself the eedom to exprs what had always been latent wh me.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* IT NOT A GAY THING

Internatnal OCD Foundatn | How Do I Know I’m Not Really Gay/Straight? .

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