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" /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/goodhoekeepg/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="never" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="Parentg Tips & Advice" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2022-04-12T21:42:22Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2020-12-15T16:18:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent="Even though there's more visibily than ever for the LGBTQ+ muny, g out n still be difficult. 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e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">Parentg Tips & Advice</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="2" /></li><style data-emotn="css huh8md">{display:none;}{paddg:0.25rem;ntent:">";}</style><li emProp="emListElement" emSpe emType=" class="css-huh8md e9l0kn01"><a emProp="em" href="/life/parentg/a33644181/how-to-support-your-lgbtq-kids-g-out/" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Breadcmbs" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="How to Support Your LGBTQ+ Kid When He, She or They Come Out" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10asp0m e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">How to Support Your LGBTQ+ Kid When He, She or They Come Out</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="3" /></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css rdayf9">{font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.8125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.125rem;le-height:1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.25rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-rdayf9 exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>How to Support Your LGBTQ+ Kid When He, She or They Come Out<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css ovpftp">{font-fay:Archer,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;font-size:1rem;le-height:1.3;} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-ovpftp exadjwu8"><p>Even if 's unexpected, parents need to be the emotnal safe harbor. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 1hf6p7y">{lor:#323232;font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;paddg-top:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}} a{text-ratn-lor:#125C68;text-ratn-thickns:0.08rem;} span{le-height:1.6;}</style><div class="css-1hf6p7y exadjwu7"><style data-emotn="css 7ja34r">{font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-style:normal;paddg-right:0.3125rem;paddg-top:0;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><addrs class="css-7ja34r ehvvd9m2"><style data-emotn="css 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100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Even though there's more visibily than ever for the LGBTQ+ muny, g out n still be difficult. If you're a parent of someone who recently me out, here's what you should know and how you n offer your support.</p><style data-emotn="css 1y767x5">{font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;marg-bottom:1rem;marg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.1875rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1.1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="1" class="body-h2 css-1y767x5 et3p2gv0"><strong>The average age of g out gets younger each generatn</strong><strong>, but the LGBTQ+ muny still experienc discrimatn.</strong></h2><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Rearch suggts that children and young adults are g out <style data-emotn="css 1me6ynq">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#125C68;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#125C68;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:#595959;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="at younger ag" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">at younger ag</a> and <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn=" greater numbers" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0"> greater numbers</a> than earlier generatns. Acrdg to a 2013 Pew Rearch Study, the median age LGBTQ+ people reported g out to others is <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="20 years old" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">20 years old</a>. Individuals who are transgenr (those whose genr inty is different om the genr they were assigned at birth) and non-bary (those whose genr inty isn’t exclively male or female) reported g out at <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="an average of 18.5 years old" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">an average of 18.5 years old</a>, acrdg to the Amerin Amy of Pediatrics. </p><p data-no-id="3" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“Our culture is openg up a ltle b certa areas so children feel safer g out earlier,” says Lda K. Reev, LMFT, a licensed marriage and fay therapist and <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="World Profsnal Associatn for Transgenr Health" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">World Profsnal Associatn for Transgenr Health</a> (WPATH) Certified Genr Specialist. Reev also -found a California chapter of <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="PFLAG" class="body-lk css-1me6ynq et3p2gv0">PFLAG</a> (formerly known as, “Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays”), an anizatn wh 200,000 members natnwi. </p><div data-no-id="4" data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="journey-unblur-ntent css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1ujafpv">{clear:both;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;paddg:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:25rem;float:left;marg-right:1.25rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:0;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{marg-left:max(512px - 50vw, -5%);paddg:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{marg-left:max(590px - 50vw, -20%);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:-40%;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1ujafpv e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css llfhfh">{text-align:left;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr:th solid #CDCDCD;borr-width:0.0625rem 0 0;}</style><div class="css-llfhfh e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1ocka91">{marg-bottom:0rem;paddg:0.625rem;}</style><div class="css-1ocka91 e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css 1u752e8">{marg:0rem;font-weight:normal;font-fay:Archer,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;letter-spacg:0.05rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-1u752e8 e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">More From Good Hoekeepg</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css 8ivsrn">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:Ntra,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;-webk-box-pack:left;-ms-flex-pack:left;-webk-jtify-ntent:left;jtify-ntent:left;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg:0rem;m-height:2.4rem;paddg:0.625rem 0;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{font-size:1rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><h6 class="css-8ivsrn e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in

if my child was gay

Many parents stggle for years to adjt after learng child is gay, acrdg to a new study om Gee Washgton Universy public health rearchers.

Contents:

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

One of the ma issu wh trackg when kids intify as gay is that most people assume that all kids start out straight. * if my child was gay *

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart. I had spected at tim that he was gay. Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No!

San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this. Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok.

PARENT SPECTS THAT CHILD MIGHT BE GAY

* if my child was gay *

Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace.

React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay. While navigatg sexualy and genr inty has typilly been difficult for most lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or queer (LGBTQ) youth, dog so durg a global panmic may be tensified by other mental health issu.

None of the parents approached me wh fear or embarrassment, nor sadns or anger; rather, they turned to me for any salient advice that I — as an LGBTQ expert, queer iend, and gay parent — uld give to them.

AT WHAT AGE DO KIDS INTIFY AS GAY?

Gay youth often face their set of challeng after g out about their genr preferenc. * if my child was gay *

They immediately clocked as gay, while we immediately clocked them as we warmed up to another, one mom anxly said: "I have a qutn: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do.

"For example, if someone the word "gay" place of "stupid, " remd them that the two are not terchangeable, and suggt they should say what they actually mean stead. "The rourc n help:PFLAG: The untry’s largt anizatn ung parents, fai, and alli wh people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and Spectm: Offers groups, trag, and rourc promotg genr sensivy and cln for all youthGLBT Natnal Rource Database: LGBTQ+ digal directory of rourcNatnal Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/unselors who are people of lorNatnal LGBTQ Task Force: The progrsive advocy arm of the LGBTQ+ movementDurg LGBTQ Pri Month, TODAY is sharg the muny’s history, pa, joy and what’s next for the movement.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

As a parent, you probably want what's bt for your child no matter what. But if your child out as gay, lbian, or bisexual, might e as a shock—many parents feel unprepared, upset, or even a ltle nfed. By learng a... * if my child was gay *

Believe or not, ’s a hopeful sign that your teen son has brought up the subject of same-sex attractn and homosexualy. It will also strengthen your bond — and a good parent-child relatnship is one of the bt l of fense agast homosexualy.

Joe Dallas, an expert this field, says that there are three different ways the word “homosexualy” is ed:. The word n refer to a homosexual ndn or orientatn — when an dividual is sexually aroed primarily by members of the same sex. “Homosexualy” n be ed to mean specifilly homosexual behavr — other words, sexual ntact wh a person of the same sex.

The word is often ed to scribe a ame of md when a person se homosexualy as a primary intifyg characteristic (ually acpanied by acceptance of homosexualy as beg normal and moral). A “homosexual” this sense of the term is an dividual who intifi as “gay. Feelgs aren’t proof that anyone is “born gay.

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

Some signs of pre-homosexualy show up early a child’s life as what might be lled “cross-genr behavr. 101 Frequently Asked Qutns About Homosexualy.

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YOUR CHILD JT TOLD YOU HE'S GAY. NOW WHAT?

Support for Parents of Child Who Says He’s Gay.

When did you first know that you were gay? Some kids know they are gay high school but don’t tell anyone until years later. One of the ma issu wh trackg when kids start to intify as gay is that most people assume that all kids start out straight.

EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAYTIMOFDIATHE DIFFICULT JOURNEYUNRSTANDG, ACKNOWLEDGG, AND SHARG ONE'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN WH THE WORLD, IS EASY FOR SOME, WHILE FOR OTHERS THE JOURNEY IS LONG AND DIFFICULT.GETTY-IMAGCOMG OUT ISN'T EASYGAY YOUTH OFTEN FACE THEIR SET OF CHALLENG AFTER G OUT ABOUT THEIR GENR PREFERENC.GETTY-IMAGTHE ROLE OF PARENTSAS PARENTS, ALL YOU N DO IS PROVI THEM WH LOVE AND SUPPORT. THIS N START OM AN EARLY AGE IF YOU N INTIFY THE SIGNS OF YOUR CHILD'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN.GETTY-IMAG​DRSG UPIT MAY SEEM STEREOTYPIL, BUT SOME REARCH SUGGTS THAT KIDS SHOW THEIR CLATN BY THE WAY THEY DRS UP. GETTY-IMAG​SPEECHAS PER A STUDY, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE SPEECH OF KIDS WHO ARE CLED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX. THE CHANGE THE TONE N EASILY BE TECTED EVEN WHEN THEY ARE FIVE YEARS OLD. GETTY-IMAG​TOYS PREFERENCEWHEN ROLE-PLAYG, IF A BOY OFTEN TAK THE FEME ROLE OR THE GIRL LIK TO PLAY ROUGH GAM, THEN YOU NEED TO PAY A LTLE ATTENTN. GETTY-IMAGYOU MAY ALSO LIKECOVID: WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR KID'S IMM...

The realy is that many kids know they are gay at a younger age than you might expect – even elementary school. They found that one percent of kids ag 9-10 intify as gay, bisexual, or transgenr.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOUR CHILD IS GAY, LBIAN OR BISEXUAL

48% of College Stunts Knew They Were Gay High School.

WHEN YOU FD OUT YOUR CHILD IS GAY

While a portn of kids intify as gay elementary school, what is the age when most kids e out as gay? That beg said, some rearchers om the Sexualy Informatn and Edutn Council of the Uned Stat talked wh llege stunts who intify as gay and bisexual to learn when they were aware of their sexual preferenc.

48% of gay and bisexual llege stunts knew their sexual preferenc high school. 20% of gay and bisexual men knew junr high school pared to six percent of women. 17% of gay and bisexual men knew gra school pared wh 11% of women.

This data prov the vast majory of LGBTQ+ kids intify as gay before they leave for llege – or intify their sexual preferenc shortly after. There isn’t a that flips when kids turn 18 that term whether or not they are gay. In some s, the olr adults didn’t realize that openg up about beg gay was an optn.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* IF MY CHILD WAS GAY

At What Age Do Kids Intify as Gay? - Fay Rourc .

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